The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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i was tempted today out of nowhere....basically because i was bored and life seemed dull....that will be a challenge the farther i go
I hate when that happens, it makes me feel off balance. Have you checked out any quit drinking apps? I find it helpful to remind myself how much progress I've made in different areas aside from how many days I've been AF. To see it in black & white has more of an impact on how far I've come. Just a thought.
Some days are just harder than others. Hoping tomorrow is an easier one for you. You're are doing awesome
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i was tempted today out of nowhere....basically because i was bored and life seemed dull....that will be a challenge the farther i go
Sometimes I think it is the all the thoughts and things I am doing just prior to the temptation. I mean all of it that is surrounding the boredom or some other emotion. Shoving negative thoughts out and thinking more positively helps. Getting the proper perspective on what you are thinking about. I have been learning to force myself to think of something that I like immediately--like the ocean, but first a stop sign. I was taught this recently. My head can be a swirling mess of a bunch of bad experiences--especially the past. I don't know if it is the same for you. If I work on practicing thinking on things that I am thankful for helps as well. Working on getting the proper perspective on things and accepting what can't be changed, doing what I can about stuff that I can control. Thinking on today the most and its pluses. There has to be things to replace the alcohol that you have given up, that you enjoy. I have had to rediscover things I have liked and try new things. Life will seem meaningless at times. That is normal, too. Now I need to get on this today of getting some activities I like to do besides jobs at work and home, ha ha, or else.5 -
@NormInv I understand and I feel that way at times too. You've had a longer sober streak than I so I can imagine this will happen every so often. I've decided to buy a notebook and keep it as a gratitude journal. When I feel the blues or temptation or whatever, I am going to jot something down immediately. A reason why I am happy to be sober, or be alive or an event I am looking forward to. Only positive things. I believe this may help.5
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@NormInv I understand and I feel that way at times too. You've had a longer sober streak than I so I can imagine this will happen every so often. I've decided to buy a notebook and keep it as a gratitude journal. When I feel the blues or temptation or whatever, I am going to jot something down immediately. A reason why I am happy to be sober, or be alive or an event I am looking forward to. Only positive things. I believe this may help.
Happens to me too@Normlnv sometimes I'm just sitting here in the evening bored,same old TV,same old house that needs picking up,same old day at work,etc but I just try and turn it in to a positive,if I were drinking daily like I used to I wouldn't have any of these things I'm taking for granted,great job Jen on getting the notebook to write down what you're going through when things get rough,hope we all have a happy AF day!4 -
I had to get out of my head. Snd, the best way to do it was call somebody. Anybody. Once I’d expressed the temptation to a friend, it disappeared.7
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Update: I found a meeting that I really like. It's sweet. It's at a "spiritual enrichment center" and held discussion style. They turn off all the lights and light candles around the room and hold the meeting like that. The resulting darkness and candle-glow provide both a feeling of not being seen, but also of intimacy (vulnerability). The people are kind, mostly older folks, and gratitude just pours out of them. I think these might be "my people."
I'm still not convinced that AA is for me for the rest of my life, but it is helping me now and I find the self-exploration immensely helpful. Also, seeing that I am 100% NOT unique helps me feel less alone. I don't have a goal other than not drinking today.
I hope you all are healthy, content, and loved.13 -
@JenT304 Great idea doing a gratitude journal. Good way to get the positive juices flowing
Update: I found a meeting that I really like. It's sweet. It's at a "spiritual enrichment center" and held discussion style. They turn off all the lights and light candles around the room and hold the meeting like that. The resulting darkness and candle-glow provide both a feeling of not being seen, but also of intimacy (vulnerability). The people are kind, mostly older folks, and gratitude just pours out of them. I think these might be "my people."
I'm still not convinced that AA is for me for the rest of my life, but it is helping me now and I find the self-exploration immensely helpful. Also, seeing that I am 100% NOT unique helps me feel less alone. I don't have a goal other than not drinking today.
I hope you all are healthy, content, and loved.
Not drinking "today" is a great goal and a very realistic goal...none of us can foretell the future and sometimes our best intentions find a way of getting derailed. All any of us have is the current second that we are living in...no more - no less!! I think it is wonderful that you have found "your people."
I'm feeling and giving the love currently. My 16 year old grandson is spending the night with me and I get to do what Grannies do...cook for him, spoil him and provide a soft place to land. He's going through a rough patch and I found myself trying to remember 16...it was a very rough time for me and so I can relate to an extent. Anyway, we're sitting on the couch right now...he's on his phone and I am just about to get off my laptop and watch a movie with him.
Hoping everyone is having a great evening 9 -
@lorrainequiche59 ...! "A soft space to land"... I've never heard anyone but myself use this phrase. How interesting! Beyond that, how wonderful that you can be that for him. 8
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Just stumbled on this and wanted to put it out there today I am 946 days AF. It is the best thing I ever did. The only way to do it is to understand that it is just for today, don’t worry about tomorrow or the rest of your life just do it for today. Then tomorrow do the same thing. If the urge comes call a friend and reassure yourself it will go away just hang in there.18
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Thanks for the support...
Today in Wall Street Journal, there was an article on how AF is the new trend and alcohol sales are down across the board and alcohol companies are now offering AF alternatives....if you have access to WSJ check it out
in the same article was a link to a 'dry january' article....it listed all the benefits and said that dry january has been big in england and is now also getting big in US10 -
Is it day 18 only?
Good article topic- will read if i can find it @NormInv @Kneedraggin Awesome! I like hearing about the way life has been improved.
@lorrainequiche59 What a nice Grandma you are! 16 years old is a tough age to live through. But he has you!
@JenT304 Love the idea. I have to get back to journaling. My sister, as I reported before, writes morning pages. Three pages of freewriting and eventually what is bugging you comes out. Then, she shreds the papers and feels better. Doesn’t have to be done in the morning.7 -
For those doing dry January, today is day 18! I haven't been 18 days in a row AF since 2012. To look at that written down, is shocking to me. I am really feeling good and happy. My husband came home late, with a bottle of chardonnay, but I just kind of shrugged and went to bed. I had no desire for any. I am just seeing and feeling so many benefits to living this way now.
@NormInv I will look for that article now. Thank you for sharing!11 -
Good morn to everyone Interestingly, my Letting Go book has a blurb today about gratitude. It begins by relating how our world is so face paced and we are daily bombarded by problems, personality conflicts, disappointments etc and feeling overwhelmed to the point of missing the "lessons" in these experiences (can anyone relate to this LOL) Then it goes on to say this:
"One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude We can learn to say, thank you for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.
Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems in to blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.
Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy."
Thank you @JenT304 for reminding us to be grateful...what a great thought for "today."
Happy, grateful day to y'all 6 -
Happy Friday! I was reading a newsletter from The Temper(addiction blog) and one of the articles was from this guy who says he's not doing Dry January because it only set him up to drink more once Feb hit,it was kind of interesting,I still feel like ANY time off alcohol is a positive thing,hope everyone has a great AF day/night 6
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@whitpauly Interesting. Dry January sets him up to drink more once February hits. I've seen ( on facebook) and heard others say the same thing. For me personally, I feel like being dry has made me way more mindful. I just cannot imagine a situation where I would WANT to drink myself silly. The anxiety I know that is certain the next day, would be very detrimental to my mental health. That being said, it is not impossible but right now, I don't think I would.6
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Thanks for the support...
Today in Wall Street Journal, there was an article on how AF is the new trend and alcohol sales are down across the board and alcohol companies are now offering AF alternatives....if you have access to WSJ check it out
in the same article was a link to a 'dry january' article....it listed all the benefits and said that dry january has been big in england and is now also getting big in US
Great article, we are huge fans of WSJ. We read our paper every morning!4 -
Day 18 and feeling great! I have chosen to do dry January; however, I am going to continue into February with no alcohol. Perhaps a glass of wine here and there, but not reverting back to where I was last year. I am thinking clearer, feel better about my choices and forgiving myself of the “stupid” things I have done of drinking too much.10
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Good morn to everyone Interestingly, my Letting Go book has a blurb today about gratitude. It begins by relating how our world is so face paced and we are daily bombarded by problems, personality conflicts, disappointments etc and feeling overwhelmed to the point of missing the "lessons" in these experiences (can anyone relate to this LOL) Then it goes on to say this:
"One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude We can learn to say, thank you for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.
Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems in to blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.
Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy."
Thank you @JenT304 for reminding us to be grateful...what a great thought for "today."
Happy, grateful day to y'all
Wow, I absolutely LOVE this and i'm going to start doing this. Makes a lot of sense, really. Thank you for sharing.5 -
Just checking in.. Congrats to all who remain AF and those who are finding helpful tips/tools to keep going. Yesterday was my day 10.. I wonder how much is placebo effect since 'day 10'
seems to be a milestone, but I definitely crave it less... Out tonight for 'happy hour' with a group (the couple who never goes out) but I feel good about it.. My husband was AF the first 10 days with me, which was quite helpful, but plans on having a few this weekend.. I'm quite comfortable being the DD.. Again, my biggest issue is drinks at home after work.. He does seem committed to abstaining during the week though, so I think that'll help a lot with temptation.. Cheers to the major snow coming and my being productive over the weekend instead of lazy.. Have a great weekend everyone!10 -
Day 18 today; during the day I was thinking “tonight I am having a glass of wine!!!” I had such stress today.
So, I get to a restaurant and ordered a water! I just couldn’t order a wine. I did not want to bend and break the streak.
But I did observe something funny; there were two older ladies next to us eating and each had a glass of red wine. I watched them and they barely sipped it. And when the meal was over they each had about 1/4 of the wine left in the glass and they left. Made me think about how some people have no problems moderating. If that were me, I would have had that glass, ordered another and maybe a third. These two ladies barely drank one. Hence, why I am doing Dry January and they aren’t. 15 -
I am very happy to report that we had some stressful times with family over the last few days! Typically it use to “easily” make me want to drink more, pour another! I haven’t drank and handling the situation much better than the past!11
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Fitness327wk wrote: »I am very happy to report that we had some stressful times with family over the last few days! Typically it use to “easily” make me want to drink more, pour another! I haven’t drank and handling the situation much better than the past!
nice victory5 -
@RubyRed427 Good for you on ordering the water with dinner. 4 of us went out for dinner last night too. My sister in law and I had water and the guys had 1 beer each. We were shocked at our $80.00 bill. Usually it's twice that. Seems like my pit crew is trying to drink mindfully as well.
@ Fitness327wk I'm thinking of doing a dry February as well. It may sound strange but instead of looking forward to it, I am now dreading my first alcoholic drink. Does that make sense to anyone? I think it's probably because I know that 1 is never 1 and leads to 3 or 4 which leads to overwhelming anxiety once it wears off. This is finally sinking in.
Happy weekend, Friends. For those of us in the path of this crazy weather, stay safe and warm! Jen 8 -
Happy WEEKEND!!!
@JenT304
Do you want to do a dry February together? I totally agree with you and I know some are looking forward to having a drink after dry January - I am not. Thankfully, I suppose! I know myself and don’t want to start getting back into a bad habit or even over drink in a day and feel horrible the next. I know for me one is never enough and I think that well I can handle 3-4 etc... It doesn’t always work out great for me and I feel healthy and happy that I am making positive changes in my life. We have alcohol in the house as my husband drinks (wine cellar - full, full bar) that is very accessible.
Yesterday was a huge WIN for me! I know that I would have over drank last night over some news of the family and would have over reacted and most likely would have caused unnecessary drama. (Really over nothing that would do any good). I am happy that I had a clear mind and was supportive not destructive!
I think of the following:
21 days to change a habit
90 days to create a new lifestyle
Wishing all a fabulous day! Headed to workout!8 -
@Roadie_Cyclist1987 hi there! I saw your post about wanting to ditch the alcohol...... you might like this thread. Lots of support in here!5
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errydayimmusclin wrote: »@Roadie_Cyclist1987 hi there! I saw your post about wanting to ditch the alcohol...... you might like this thread. Lots of support in here!
Thanks, appreciated! Will take a look3 -
the thing with dry Feb is that Super Bowl is first week of Feb and last year this is when i broke my dry spell....i may yet want to indulge on Super Bowl cuz ya know need to keep my mancard8
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Oh and today marks Day 50 for me!!!! would you believe it!!!! dam son14
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Joining this group stopped me from buying the 'usual' 2 bottles of wine tonight (thanks to member errydayimmusclin for this). Reading the posts makes me realise I'm not alone and that I can stay sober if I really want to. Looking forward to getting out on my bike in the morning! Thanks all 😊11
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Roadie_Cyclist1987 wrote: »Joining this group stopped me from buying the 'usual' 2 bottles of wine tonight (thanks to member errydayimmusclin for this). Reading the posts makes me realise I'm not alone and that I can stay sober if I really want to. Looking forward to getting out on my bike in the morning! Thanks all 😊
Awesome, congrats! I am doing dry January. This is a very different January from last. I enjoy vino and was drinking everyday! I feel great with no alcohol, working out harder, etc.. Great job.10
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