The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    edited November 2018
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    @Drummer913--thank you. It is possible to repair the damage. I am sorry. Anything is possible. Stay strong with your determination and they will see it. I regret at least one incident when I was mad at my daughter. I was a single parent at the time and she was doing some things I didn't like. I yelled, threw my phone and had a fit. I never touched her, but made both of my kids scared and mad. They were probably the age of your kids at the time. My son searched my room, when I was downstairs having the fit, and found all my empty stashed liquor bottles from all over and lined them up on the floor with a note in permanent marker on the hardwood floor to me. Yes I was over the top. I deserved something that is for sure. He regretted it. He wasn't the only one. My daughter says that she has forgiven me, but not over what had happened. We talk and see each other every week. I bought them gifts, apologized and said that it would never happen again like that. I can't drink or it may happen. One of the best things, no matter how hard, and it is darn hard, is to keep not drinking. Keep going! You are doing great!!
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
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    Thank you everyone.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
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    @salleewins I wish I could come over, have some tea, and give you the biggest hug. I am so sorry you have this pain. It’s just not right to lose a son or daughter. I am so sad for you. Xo
    I also admire your strength and courage to get out of bed each morning, to stay AF, and muster on. Lean on us. Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
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    @Drummer913 We have kids the same ages. I can relate to you in a way. I drank in front of them, on vacations, on holidays, and out to dinner. My daughter and son would look at me disapprovingly when I’d order my second martini. Now, it’s quite embarrassing to think about. I would be hiding in the bathroom with the fan on throwing up, hoping no one heard me. I know I wasn’t fooling them. I wasnt a mean drunk but I was a crying drunk. They wouldnt know why I was crying. I shudder now. We all have regrets. We can just look ahead, make improvements, and slowly they will come around and forgive you.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
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    @joha5603 I feel for you. I have been hungover many Saturdays.... dragging myself to the kitchen and then back to bed. It’s a cute card though. It made me smile. (Even though I know it had a sad context. )
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
    edited November 2018
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    @CarvedTones I agree with you. There is an underlying pain we with addictions have. We have to figure out the real root of the problem and what we are trying to mask. I recommend therapy. I go once a month and have found it to be valuable. I’m hoping for you a peaceful resolution. Xo

    @mbaker566 Good insightful comments.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
    edited November 2018
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    Wishing you all a lovely weekend!
    @JenT304 I hope this weekend you will feel much better! If not, binge watch some shows, read magazines, take long baths and sip hot tea with honey. Xo
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    @Orphia I like that phrase “you do you”. That’s exactly correct.
    I have recently developed a bad habit with my husband. When he has some alcohol, I snicker and say “i guess I’m just stronger than you.” Or something like that.
    I realize that I am being haughty and rude actually to him. I will stop that behavior. I’ll just worry about me.

    Hugs, @RubyRed427 Well spoken.

    It wasn't as hard as I thought. I decided to be a nice person to him, as the resentment wasn't doing either of us any good.

    It was part of the emergence of trying to "rise above" a difficult situation that I have a theme going with now.

    Good luck, sweetie. xx

    Hugs to @salleewins too.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    In case you didn't see me post this elsewhere:

    I read this in the Hello Sunday Morning newsletter today:

    " I truly love this new version of me. BUT I cannot forget that the me that did all the partying and drinking and numbing WAS STILL ME. I cannot discount her or smudge her out, or harshly judge her for the things she did in her mission to survive. This new chapter of my life is amazing and she got me here and I am so grateful for her. I forgive her. I love her."
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,486 Member
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    @salleewins <3 You are so brave. I'm sending light and love. <3

    @drummer913 Don't give up hope that things will improve with your kids. They are young and have many years in front of them to see you sober. I would consider professional counseling on how to communicate with them...how to talk to them about your new found sobriety, or if you even should. In my case, I didn't announce my sobriety but just stopped drinking. My one daughter that lives nearby has surely noticed. The one overseas will notice when we go at Christmas.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,158 Member
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    @lorrainequiche59 Wonderful! Congrats on 6 months!!!Bravo! <3:)
  • CarvedTones
    CarvedTones Posts: 2,340 Member
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    @lorrainequiche59 - 6 months is a very big deal. It was around that time that I started having a big change in mindset that sounds like a little tweak but it's not. Early on, not drinking was a thing I did. By that I mean there was a little effort at times, the sigh at others and a lot of internally kicking myself when I was in a situation where others were drinking socially and I couldn't. I was self conscious about it and thought people noticed that I wasn't drinking and assumed the reason why. As time went by, drinking became a thing I just didn't do and politely declining became second nature. Turns out lots of people don't drink or seldom do and others really don't take much note of it. If they do, so what? Anyway, congratulations!

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