The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I really appreciate this thread. I may not struggle with alcoholism, but I work closely with those that do. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember how human we are. Thank you for renewing my energy (and shamefully I admit patience) to support, understand, and listen. I hope each of you finds/continues success.8
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First of all, thank each of you for the comments and wishes. It really means so much to me to have this group and be a part of it. I'm still sober. Day #10. Am I still on the edge? Yes. My only saving grace as it has always been is that I don't like to drink alone and I don't drink at home. So my cure has been to just sleep away the feelings. But that's not good either. It's not solving the problems.
And to vent a little bit. I hate my job. It's soul killing. Every day I have to tell people that their insurance doesn't cover their medications. Just about every call I get yelled at, begged and questioned if I know my job. It's obvious these people need their medication and are desperate. I get it and I will be in the same boat too one day. It's the job not the people. All I can do is say I'm sorry over and over again. I do have my graphic design business but it doesn't pay the bills or insurance. Hopefully one day it will. Right now, it's living paycheck to paycheck and looking for something else is almost impossible with limited time off. Also, being in my 50's doesn't help. I have no family left so I'm alone now. I have some health issues that can pop up at anytime and can be life threatening so that is stressful to think about and manage. I'm not going to do anything dumb but I'm at a point where I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.
@RubyRed427 I think I'll take your advice and look into AA and go a few times a week and see if that helps. I had gone years ago but I just couldn't relate. Perhaps now will be different. Thanks for the Don Miguel Ruiz suggestion. Will look at them tonight.
Again, thank you everybody! Have a great AF evening! We all here trying to get through the best way we know how!12 -
@MrSunshinez Glad to hear from you...sorry about all your stresses
I hear your frustration. Sounds to me like you need to be kind to yourself the best way you know how...as far as sleeping away the feelings...for now that may be ok...I think with all the stress you're dealing with, maybe you need the sleep. It won't be forever. You will find your way as hard as that may be to believe at this point.
If you had a friend who was in your spot, what would you say to them or do for them to show you care about them? Then do that for yourself. Do something nurturing for yourself.
I truly hope that things turn around for you soon, but until then we are here for you...Vent when you need to......!!!!! Maybe AA will work this time....at least you're keeping your options open
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This is how my brain works ... I come home from work and the gym, I see my family isn’t home which is extremely rare. I am never alone at home. And the first thing I think of is “I should make an old fashioned.” ha! That is my first thought.
Of course, I didn’t but that’s typical thinking Reward and celebration linked to alcohol, hand in hand.
The craving passed but it made me chuckle. Day 9 and feeling content.
@whitpauly Congrats!! I have lost count on how many day 1’s I have had. So, Day 30 is awesome! You are doing great!! Xo7 -
@salleewins I love your new picture. So pretty!5
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Lastchancetochange wrote: »Hi, I'm on day 3. I actually lost almost all the weight 4 years ago and one key was being one year and a half sober. It's tough, I lost many friends, not really lost them but I was not cool anymore. And in any dinner they were all trying to get me drunk. So I had to pass on many social plans. It was very tough from that perspective. I didn't miss it, my body surely didn't but socially it was a disaster. Anyway here we are again.
After a christmas of a couple of bad binges, really feeling destroyed for a couple of days after I feel not worth it for the time being. Day by day.
Cheers to everyone.
How are you doing? Sounds similar to many of our stories. It’s definitely a journey. Binging is my middle name I seem to have no moderation bone. Anyway, just checking in to see how you’re doing. 
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MrSunshinez wrote: »First of all, thank each of you for the comments and wishes. It really means so much to me to have this group and be a part of it. I'm still sober. Day #10. Am I still on the edge? Yes. My only saving grace as it has always been is that I don't like to drink alone and I don't drink at home. So my cure has been to just sleep away the feelings. But that's not good either. It's not solving the problems.
And to vent a little bit. I hate my job. It's soul killing. Every day I have to tell people that their insurance doesn't cover their medications. Just about every call I get yelled at, begged and questioned if I know my job. It's obvious these people need their medication and are desperate. I get it and I will be in the same boat too one day. It's the job not the people. All I can do is say I'm sorry over and over again. I do have my graphic design business but it doesn't pay the bills or insurance. Hopefully one day it will. Right now, it's living paycheck to paycheck and looking for something else is almost impossible with limited time off. Also, being in my 50's doesn't help. I have no family left so I'm alone now. I have some health issues that can pop up at anytime and can be life threatening so that is stressful to think about and manage. I'm not going to do anything dumb but I'm at a point where I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.
@RubyRed427 I think I'll take your advice and look into AA and go a few times a week and see if that helps. I had gone years ago but I just couldn't relate. Perhaps now will be different. Thanks for the Don Miguel Ruiz suggestion. Will look at them tonight.
Again, thank you everybody! Have a great AF evening! We all here trying to get through the best way we know how!
Hi. Sorry about all these troubles. That job sounds rough. I know this sounds ridiculous to hear, but things can improve. If you don't like the AA meeting you go to btw, see if there are others you can go to. Try at least 4 different ones, if necessary. I didn't like AA at first either or the second or I don't know how many times. Definitely all of the issues you mentioned have the potential to be worse or get worse if the drinking starts up and continues. I didn't , in the end, like the other treatment outpatient that I put myself in, either. I got rid of the first 3 sponsors I had from AA because we all were not the best matches. I have to move on from the current one I have as well. Keep moving ahead. There is bound to be more joy eventually. I currently hate the job I have and my back is an issue from a work related issue, am in the same age range etc. It is not easy. Think of things each day to be thankful for and try to think on these things the most. Tough I know.... I try as much as possible to focus on the here and now as that is all anyone of us are promised. I am not that great at that. Focusing on the negatives got m drinking a lot of times. Keep us posted. Vent when needed. We all do it or need to. We care about ya.
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Drummer913 wrote: »@JenT304....De-Caffeinated tea labeling is deceiving similar to the labeling on Non-Alcoholic beer is. There is still a minute amount of alcohol in Non-Alcoholic beer (.05% in most as stated on the labels). So unless it says its 100% Alcohol Free on the label ....It probably isn't.
Some AF apple cider drinks are not 100% AF. If it is listed on the can/bottle at all, I won't drink it. Zero tolerance means zero.3 -
Good morning! I am on day 9 AF! I have a lot more energy! Headed to a Barre class this morning, LOVE it!
I am happy to say when I first stopped no alcohol my husband was still drinking wine with dinner (I really didn’t care or he would have stopped - doing this for me). He can have a glass be happy and stop drinking. He knows that I struggle in that area. Well a few days ago he said we wanted to stoop doing vino with me. He still has bourbon before bed. PROGRESS!8 -
Hi all
Im on day 9 AF. This year i wanted to make changes to my wellbeing and health and the only way i could do that was by complete sobriety. I make bad choices and decisions when im UTI some really damaging but thankfuly i have been able to move on. I look forward to the support of this discussion. Thank you.6 -
It is supposed to snow here this weekend. In the past my first thought would have been, "do we have enough wine in case we get snowed in?" I was in the grocery store today and the thought didn't even pop into my head until I heard another woman saying something along those lines. We are almost a third of the way through January and tomorrow is day 10. We can do this! I'm proud of my squad here no matter if you are 10 years or 10 minutes sober. Never stop trying to be your best.10
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@MJaRT25 and @Fitness327wk for 9 days of AF! Woohoo! And a big congrats to everyone who is on any time frame of AF. I'm on Day #11. It's so worth it! You guys, I took the day off from work for a mental health day. I can't believe how something so simple that was taken for granted in the past is so liberating now. With all of your comments and suggestions this week along with my sick day today showed me I'm not chained to this job or this unhappiness. I have to work hard at finding another job and I have to be patient, yes. But I am not stuck. Oh that sneaky demon of helplessness reared it's ugly head once again and caught me off guard. Have a great AF night everyone. Thanks for all that you do!10
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MrSunshinez wrote: »@MJaRT25 and @Fitness327wk for 9 days of AF! Woohoo! And a big congrats to everyone who is on any time frame of AF. I'm on Day #11. It's so worth it! You guys, I took the day off from work for a mental health day. I can't believe how something so simple that was taken for granted in the past is so liberating now. With all of your comments and suggestions this week along with my sick day today showed me I'm not chained to this job or this unhappiness. I have to work hard at finding another job and I have to be patient, yes. But I am not stuck. Oh that sneaky demon of helplessness reared it's ugly head once again and caught me off guard. Have a great AF night everyone. Thanks for all that you do!
NICE! GREAT IDEA ON THE DAY OFF! Yeah!! We aren't chained to the demon alcohol anymore either, ha ha!!
I am looking for a new job, too. One step in front of the other.
I used to plan my next vacation before the last one was done. Went back to that again. Think I will do more on that planning tonite after that drama day at work, ha ha. Cuz I can and I am not passed out on the couch.7 -
I took the money I would have spent the past 10 days on wine.....I figured about $100.00, and bought grocery and gas gift certificates for my sister, who is a single mother and currently furloughed until our government gets its act together. This makes me feel way better than the wine would have. I WAS going to reward myself with a facial for my 10th day but this is a better use of the funds. I'll wait a bit longer for that.16
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I took the money I would have spent the past 10 days on wine.....I figured about $100.00, and bought grocery and gas gift certificates for my sister, who is a single mother and currently furloughed until our government gets its act together. This makes me feel way better than the wine would have. I WAS going to reward myself with a facial for my 10th day but this is a better use of the funds. I'll wait a bit longer for that.
How kind of you to share your savings in this way...the Bible says, "There's more happiness in giving than receiving." Obviously for you and your sister. I was a single mom for many years, so I know how much your sister will appreciate your generosity. 9 -
I got my therapy light TODAY...YAY!! Finally after a month in transit!! I may think twice next time I order something to be delivered through our postal system...Anyway, all that is water under the bridge now that it's here. I am sitting in front of it as I type soaking in the rays of goodness and hoping for some relief from my funky mood.
Hoping everyone has a healthy, happy day if possible 9 -
@lorrainequiche59 Give us a review and let us know if it is helpful. I've been wondering about the effectiveness of those. I hope it works for you!3
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hi everybody, going strong still.....on track for Dry Jan10
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I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones
. And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo 7 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones . And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo
Sorry to hear your not feeling the best. Don't forget your favorite app , 'insight timer ' you recommended it to me. I luv it. It also helps to have good, quality sleep.
Hope you feel better soon..xo
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Feel better Ruby!! The days are getting longer. We just can't always tell with the clouds, right? Hugs!!5
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@RubyRed427 I am sorry you have the blues. The weather does not help. Maybe a light like Lorraine has will help? You KNOW what won't help so I am glad you are avoiding alcohol. Maybe treat yourself to a massage or something pampering? For those of us doing dry January its day 11 and we are now more than a third of the way done!6
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Here is to dry January and day 11!
I wanted dry January as mentioned above to help lose weight, make better choices and I knew I have been drinking too much. One of the main drivers was for the additional pounds that I have put on and also (sadly) if I am totally brutally honest not happy with myself of not remembering things from the night before.
Lessons that I have learned thus far to help motivate and continue my path of AF. Not forever, but in a more sustainable manner:
1) Relying too much on alcohol when I am stressed/frusturated etc.
Learned: I feel so much better when I am stressed, frusturated to go workout or do something healthy. Drinking never makes it better. I knew this, but difference now I am doing it.
2) Relying too much to help me relax and go to sleep.
Learned: I am not falling asleep as fast; however, I am sleeping so much more soundly. Everyone always says this, but now I am experiencing it.
3) I wanted to quit alcohol to give up calories in order to lose weight.
Learned: This is so much more than a number on a scale for me. I am feeling great and thankful I am making the right choices. I am eating right, working out and not drinking. If the scale doesn’t move I am not worried. I want a healthier version of me in 2019.
All the best to everyone! Great forum.
@RubyRed427 have you done any more lessons on duolingo?7 -
A good book and free is you are unlimited kindle on Amazon is: A Sober Year Daily Musings on an Alcohol-Free Life By Meredith Bell. Everyday it has a few paragraphs to read. Inspirational.4
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RubyRed427 wrote: »I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones . And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo
Depression sucks. It was a trigger for me. I have not had a major episode since last major med adjustment, which was almost 2 years ago. Some minor dips. I do worry some about what will happen if I drop into the abyss for a while. I hope yours passes quickly.6 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones . And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo
You're right, the cloudy, grey weather doesn't help. I have used a therapy light in the past & found it to be very helpful. I had a huge dinosaur of a light an elderly friend gave to me years ago. It's interesting to me how I found it to be helpful, but for some reason I stopped using it...It took up quite a bit of space on my dining room table and I remember one year just toughing out the depression rather than setting it up again...and it requires time. This one recommends sitting in front of it for one hour daily...I got rid of the dinosaur light 2 moves ago because of the size of it and just never replaced it...this one is the size of a 12" tablet and is VERY bright. It helps with circadian rhythm promoting a better quality sleep as well as other things that help with SAD.
It definitely helps me, BUT it isn't a cure all. Depression can be multi-layered. So, I hope you find the source of yours I find YouTube very helpful in my emotional struggles. 4 -
Love mediation as well! Insight app is awesome and free!3
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Happy Friday all,Ruby big((hugs)) I've been feeling bluesy too,I blame hormones and post holiday blues for mine,its just more of a "meh" feeling and it really blows! Hope we both feel better quick everyone sounds like they're doing great,very proud of this group,have a great day all! 6
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WOW!!! So many of you doing so well...inspiring. For me it's day 18...but might as well be the 18th day of forever because life is so grand I'll never go back. Still plenty of *kitten* to wade through each day. Still problems and the daily grind. Work still sucks somedays....but life is grand because now I can face it....sober, strong, and steady.9
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I am struck by the unconditional and non-judgmental support in this group. I spent the last few days lurking.. Reading every post.. 77 pages was a lot, but I looked at some of the Craig Beck videos and decided that I'm done trying to moderate, thanks to this group. I've been in a depressive funk the past couple weeks, but what I've read gives me a newfound hope that I can come out on the other side with regard to quitting alcohol.. Alcohol has been the reason I have tried and failed at losing weight over the past 3 years and I'm ready to get back to being a fit healthy person, not only for myself, but for my 9 month old son.
I'm typically a person who sets my mind to something and does it, period. 10 years ago I decided to quit smoking during the most stressful year of graduate school and I did it.. Also told myself at the time, you will get fat and that's ok, you'll lose it.. And I got fat, lost it, and completed my program without picking up another cigarette ever again.. Unfortunately, I think alcohol took the place of cigarettes, just not at the same frequency..
My tendencies toward perfection are hurting more than helping these days so my approach right now is: AF, hopefully for good.. I don't have to do that and have a flawless whole food, no white carb etc,etc diet at the same time.. Priorities.. Just trying to get back into my workout routine and 'eat better' in tandem with not drinking.
Sorry for the ramble.. I look forward to taking on this journey with all of you! Today is day 4 for me.
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