The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I'm making a recipe this weekend that calls for red wine. I have LOTS on hand, but do not want to open for the recipe. I want to wait till my guests are here to uncork it BECAUSE I do NOT want an opened bottle of wine on hand. Just cause!! I don't have a problem with wine in the recipe because the alcohol burns off anyway. Can anyone think of a substitute...Red wine vinegar perhaps?? It calls for 1/2 c. so vinegar may not be the thing to use...I don't have to use wine, but if anyone has an idea, please suggest.
My dinner is in 3 days and I can unload the wine I've been stockpiling!! Interestingly, I was watching a movie the other night & they were drinking wine with dinner...it was this one guy who was obviously stress drinking if you get my drift...in the scene he was upset & it was just the way he was drinking that I got this craving for the chillax factor, out of the blue...SO, I'm looking forward to having the alcohol gone. Even though my liquor store is only 1/2 block away, it is still 1/2 block away. I don't like having it so convenient in the case of a major crave!!!
Probably not the red wine vinegar. Cooking wine? There is more sodium to it, however, it seems, unless there is something new out there. What type of recipe is it?1 -
I have to admit I am surprised to see a few people on here who have been AF for years....it kinda says that you have to always stay vigilant and the demon never completely goes away.
I was clean and sober for 10 years with the help of a supportive partner and family. I was too full of myself in saying I had this beat for good. My circle of loved ones started passing away in 2011 through 2016. They are all watching over me now. I managed without a drink focusing on being superman and trying to keep it all together for others by being their caregivers. I needed that responsibility. It's been two years of no responsibility.
This year I truly feel the loss or I should say being alone. I did before but it was mixed with grieving. The grieving has subsided because they are in a better place. Here I am. What to do now? I slipped this year because I started feeling that I was staying sober for them in trying to be responsible or that I didn't want to disappoint them. That little demon that I thought I had conquered came up behind me and yelled "What's the use!"
Day #6 Clean & Sober13 -
@MrSunshinez Death is an enemy!! Sorry for your losses.
Sounds like you were dealing with some overwhelming grief. Takes courage to get back on the sober train. Hoping the best for you. You're in a great place to get some support to keep you on track. 6 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@MrSunshinez Death is an enemy!! Sorry for your losses. Sounds like you were dealing with some overwhelming grief. Takes courage to get back on the sober train. Hoping the best for you. You're in a great place to get some support to keep you on track.
Thank you! Yes, it was a traumatic situation one right after the other. When I seemed to work on the depression something else happened but here we are. Yes, I'm feeling the strength and sending it out too. We can do this together!6 -
@salleewins Thanks for your response...it's sausage-tortellini soup so it doesn't matter if I use wine, but it does add a depth of flavor...I will check out the cooking wine tho.2
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There was a blurb on MSN yesterday with comments from celebrities who do not drink, most because they have an issue. I'd like to share a comment from Daniel Radcliffe..it begins by saying he loves life as a sober person and said, "My life is a lot better & less chaotic. I just felt like I was chasing chaos & making my life difficult, all the time thinking I was having fun. So it feels very nice not to be putting myself in danger, to be waking up in the mornings & not thinking, "On my god, who am I going to hear from? What did I do? It's a life lived without dread & fear and it's lovely."
I very rarely got drunk, but often "close to drunk." Close enough to feel crappy in the a.m. & sluggish through the day having to pull myself through my job. Close enough to have to check my phone to see if a particular number was on my log cause I had this vague recollection of talking to someone, but couldn't remember the conversation...and if I saw a 20 min or hour long call, my stomach would bottom out!! That was some of my fear & dread. It indicated that, "There's something wrong with this!!!"
Last eve on the way to my meeting, I passed our neighborhood OPP station & saw a friendly officer waiting to enter the highway...as I approached I automatically looked at my speed (it's a bit of a trap there cause it is 50 and just the other side of the OPP lane way it turns to 70 & they take great pleasure in stopping anyone who transgresses) I was at 60 & didn't want to slow down giving the guy any reason to suspect me of something....anyway, he pulls out behind me & followed me several kilos to the intersection where I needed to turn...it was nerve wracking...first of all I have a heavy foot so it's a conscious effort to regulate my speed...the limit is 80 km, so I worked very hard to keep it at 90....he would follow closely, then pull back for a distance, then speed up again & get close again etc...at one point I thought that he's either going to pull me over or pass me, but he hung back once again...AND THEN at the light he turned behind me, but my next turn was into my meeting place. Phew!!!
On the way home, it was smooth sailing until I got to the intersection before my place. There were two OPP vehicles, lights flashing...on either side of the road...initially I thought they had someone pulled over, but they didn't...then I wondered if it might be a ride check but other vehicles were driving right through...so I slowed down & did the same....
Get to the point Lorraine!!! The point is THIS: If I were drinking and had one/two/three & felt I would take the chance to drive cause I tricked myself into thinking I was fine to drive.......I was fearful enough just driving and doing nothing wrong...I could imagine how many people driving through that scene last night may have felt if they had a drink or two...as I watched people drive through I wondered how many people were scared poopy driving between those cruisers.6 -
Happy Friday all! Hope everyone has a great AF day! 5
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@lorrainequiche59 I completely agree. When I have even had 1 drink and I see a police car I am nervous. It is nice to not have to worry about that now.
@RubyRed427 Very interesting observation about your neighborhood. Ours was hard partying too when we were in our 30's but it slowed down quite a bit over the years, thank God. Still, where I came from (we moved 6 months ago) was definitely a drinking town. The bars are full every night with people of all ages but definitely a lot of folks in their 50's (like us now). Still, when I look around, I DO see some people not drinking alcoholic beverages in the bars so not everyone is indulging. I need to avoid bars right now; I am not feeling terribly confident about going to any, and I am determined to have an absolutely dry January (and beyond hopefully but we will see about that...first things first.) Anyway its the 4th day of the new year and I am trying not to do anything that will make me feel tempted. Needless to say, I will be doing more cooking at home as eating out is definitely a trigger for me. We won't even get into how many sweets I've been eating but I am allowing myself to as it is better than drinking. I'll deal with THAT next month
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Greetings everyone. I've been sober for 15 months thanks to God & A.A. Now I'm preparing to lose the 20 lbs. I gained last year (I thought I'd lose weight not drinking, but???) and get in shape for a hike in & out of the Grand Canyon. I could use a few sober MFP friends.10
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I have to admit I am surprised to see a few people on here who have been AF for years....it kinda says that you have to always stay vigilant and the demon never completely goes away.
Only 18 months for me this time. I have had a problem with deciding I would have it under control if i started back. Trying very hard to make it different this time, accepting that I can't drink.
AA really doesn't work for me. I don't believe in a higher power and I think I am capable of doing this myself though accountability to others helps.
I had my physical yesterday afternoon. My weight was 158 with clothes on, except shoes, which were off for height check. Height is still 5'8", probably from improved posture and stretching. So my documented BMI is 24.0. BP 120/75, HR 64, don't smoke, no longer drink (over 18 months now) and I turned 60 a few days ago with visible abs. My primary was really pleased with that and so am I. I was in the 220s 2 years ago and the 170s last year.8 -
Hi! How is Dry January going for all?3
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@Fitness327wk so far so good on day 4.3
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Proud of you Ruby Red and your honesty!3
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Been really angry lately...crying quite a bit....seasonal stuff & some emotional unearthing of stuff...I've thought more today about drinking than I have since I quit 217 days ago according to my app. Rather than thinking that I cannot drink, I am thinking that I CAN drink and I CAN have all the crappy side effects from it...that stops me from following up on my desire to drink. It's only a bandaid that gets ripped off the next day & then over & over until you stop it!! I've already stopped it, so why go backwards & go through all that again....
Actually, it isn't the thought of going "through all that again." It's the thought, "What if I didn't want to go through it all again & I just kept drinking...?" It happens, but I don't want it to happen to me...
Can someone give me some happy thoughts please.....? 7 -
Ahh Friday night , here we are! I remember last January feeling so lost without a glass of something, i went and sat in Starbucks for hours. I am ok this year. But I feel for any of you who are itching to have a glass on a Friday night. Make a big pot of tea, distract yourself, go somewhere maybe movies, and you will be just fine. Xo5
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Been really angry lately...crying quite a bit....seasonal stuff & some emotional unearthing of stuff...I've thought more today about drinking than I have since I quit 217 days ago according to my app. Rather than thinking that I cannot drink, I am thinking that I CAN drink and I CAN have all the crappy side effects from it...that stops me from following up on my desire to drink. It's only a bandaid that gets ripped off the next day & then over & over until you stop it!! I've already stopped it, so why go backwards & go through all that again....
Actually, it isn't the thought of going "through all that again." It's the thought, "What if I didn't want to go through it all again & I just kept drinking...?" It happens, but I don't want it to happen to me...
Can someone give me some happy thoughts please.....?
Don’t go backwards! All of that hard work to get to day 217 was amazing. You know that if you drink tonight, you will feel so bad to be at day 1. It stinks to reset my drinking app; it really hurt pressing “reset”button. I also think that you will probably binge because your Brain will say “My old best friend is back. And I want the whole bottle!”. We also know that the drink will cause more awful feelings, depression and anxiety for the next few days.
Here are the happy thoughts: Pour some sparkling water in a wine glass. Look at those bubbles, how clear, how fresh, how quenching it will be. Cut up some pretty lemons, put some raspberries in there... And drink up.
Watch a Craig Beck video. Write down on paper 5 reasons you are happy you are sober.
Lorraine, I am with you in spirit. But that horrible feeling tomorrow is just not worth the reprieve tonight. Pray to your guardian angel and ask for help. That angel is just waiting to help!
Also, change the scenery. Can you go somewhere and get out of the house? Love you!5 -
@RubyRed427 Thank you for your loving concern You are right, I have come too far & do NOT want to add to my pain by trying to escape it temporarily through drinking. I spent too many years doing just that and it doesn't work it only multiplies it!! I'm going to jump in a hot bath & soak my head...AND read some of my gripping novel....Love you too...I wish we lived close & we could visit in person
I am SO wanting this wine out of my house...2 more days...YAY...and I am not serving wine at any future dinners. First of all, I'd need to go buy it and that's NOT happening...also next season, any gifted bottles of wine are being re-gifted immediately. This wine has dredged up some stuff for me and I want it gone!! I should have listened to someone way back when who told me to get it OUT of my house...LOL! 2 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Been really angry lately...crying quite a bit....seasonal stuff & some emotional unearthing of stuff...I've thought more today about drinking than I have since I quit 217 days ago according to my app. Rather than thinking that I cannot drink, I am thinking that I CAN drink and I CAN have all the crappy side effects from it...that stops me from following up on my desire to drink. It's only a bandaid that gets ripped off the next day & then over & over until you stop it!! I've already stopped it, so why go backwards & go through all that again....
Actually, it isn't the thought of going "through all that again." It's the thought, "What if I didn't want to go through it all again & I just kept drinking...?" It happens, but I don't want it to happen to me...
Can someone give me some happy thoughts please.....?
I had to find something else to occupy my mind. Trying to fight those kinds of thoughts and urges head on was really hard for me. I am speaking in past tense because I really haven't had any in a while. Go to the gym or to see a friend or the mall or whatever. Movies are dicey unless you see a family movie. Push the thoughts out of your mind and don't give them space to grow.5 -
Aww Lorraine I wish I could give you a big hug! Hang in there(I hate when people say that) but it's true,you don't want to feel horrible tomorrow! I was gonna suggest a workout or a long walk too,maybe a bubble bath? 219 is too much to toss out just for an hour or two of "cutting loose" drinking is too unpredictable anyways,could be an hour or two of misery,good for you for coming here to vent,thats how it works yeah! 5
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I so agree, you will regret of what you don’t remember tomorrow. Cherish tonight. You are worth it!5
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Btw, I can say my own story... I have always been a social fun drinker and I have let it get out of hand. Thought I knew my limits and watched over others. I have lost my limits and now decided to stop drinking for a period.6
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Fitness327wk wrote: »Btw, I can say my own story... I have always been a social fun drinker and I have let it get out of hand. Thought I knew my limits and watched over others. I have lost my limits and now decided to stop drinking for a period.
That's great you got to this point to be able to realize it. I tell myself that I"m not going to drink today. Sometimes breaking it down into daily increments helps to build the bigger successes.
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I went to a friends tonight. She had a bottle of Capt. Morgans on the counter. I jokingly mentioned it by name like I was hinting for a drink. She held it up and was ready to pour one for me. I said no. I was able to shrug off the tinge of regret of not drinking within a minute or so. I'm home and sober!11
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Proud of you!3
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Somethings that I try to keep in mind before choosing to say yes
• I owe it to myself to be 100% in control
• I owe it to my family and loved ones to be 100% in control
• I was born to survive, live and grow through most of the stresses in life
• I don't want to be on my deathbed and look back with more regret than I have now
• With each sober day, life gets better through better/clearer decision making
• If I need help I want those who help to feel confident that this moment of need is necessary and not just another drunken situation to fix.
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Thank you for all your support & love & hugs As I read back my comment & your responses, I'm wondering if my " I CAN drink" comment was taken as I'm going to drink...which was not the case LOL. We CAN ALL drink, but we choose not to cause we do not want to go down the slippery slope. It really helps me to come hear & vent my stuff & hear all the words of wisdom & experience.
I try to remember, "This too shall pass." And IT DOES
I've also been focusing on feeling left out, the isolation that comes from being different, the withdrawal from my drinking friends etc etc...so I really think that is fueling some of the anger I'm feeling...like I've said before, anger is a secondary emotion hiding sadness, hurt etc and THAT is what I'm dealing with right now. And THAT IS OK!!! this too shall pass!!
I'm sure most here can agree that it isn't the absence of the alcohol itself that is the most difficult, it is learning to carve out a different life , a different way of being. Anyway, I am finding my way and am at what Melodie Beattie describes as the "in-between place." In between where you were and where you are going! And in between people, those I need to leave behind & those I haven't found yet. It is a tough place to be, but necessary...I'm only feeling the feelings I was using alcohol to avoid feeling.
I did have my hot soak last eve & read in the tub....one of my fave activities to relieve some stress...then went to bed early.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! 5 -
@lorrainequiche59 Very well said. It can be lonely right now... because all of our friends and activities were wrapped up around drinking. I like that description from Melodie. You are “in between”- I think that place slows our life down enough to analyze how and where we want to put our energies. I think winter is hard if you have grey skies; you may be experiencing loss and reflecting on the past.
Stay as present as you can- Which is what you did when you took a bath and read. Happy you got some extra sleep too.
Hope today brings renewed happiness! You deserve it. 2 -
@MrSunshinez I loved reading your list. Very good thinking. I have always said to myself that God wants us to be happy, to enjoy life, to laugh, to love and to help others. Sounds like your philosophies are right along that track.3
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Fitness327wk wrote: »Btw, I can say my own story... I have always been a social fun drinker and I have let it get out of hand. Thought I knew my limits and watched over others. I have lost my limits and now decided to stop drinking for a period.
Yes, my limits are gone. No self regulation goes on in my brain when I drink.
I think you are stopping for a period at the right time. Then, you can determine how you want to proceed. Maybe you’ll be a “once in awhile” drinker and save it for special moments. But it’s good to press the reset button in Dry January.
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Have you ever woke up and said “Thank GOD , I didn’t drink last night.” I know I do say that! Today I am so grateful for day 5 AF.
Here’s one of most fav short videos on alcoholism. 9 min. Long.
https://youtu.be/kI-BhQGwDO8 3
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