The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I had a taste of the FRE Sutter Home ‘Chardonnay” alcohol removed.... here’s my review 0 out of 5 stars. What a waste. Tasted exactly like Welch’s grape juice. Yuck. Don’t waste your money on that product.7
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Sorry it was a bust, Ruby. I've not heard many good reviews about alcohol free wines, which is a bummer. I don't mind the occasional AF beer, we tried some decent ones over the summer, just to change up from iced tea and water. I've heard mixed reviews about Seedlip (AF liquor replacement) and I think it's about $40/bottle, so not worth it to me to find out. I just bought some Welch's sparkling "rose" and I mostly hope it looks pretty in my champagne flute!
Welcome to the new faces I see here and thank you all for sharing your stories. I don't post much but I do keep up with you all. I've learned so much this year from all of you.
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Sometimes my thought pattern is this “Well, he drinks a lot and he still looks healthy. Nothing seems to be wrong with him.” I sometimes ponder that it seems like “everyone” around me is drinking and seems to have no ill effects. I think “why am i working so hard to not drink when everyone else is having fun. “
But then I tell myself to worry about myself, stop judging others, drinking makes you depressed, anxious and overweight. It’s really a mind game. Last night, I went with a friend to a bar. She was quite buzzed because we left a party and she had a few. I was driving. She was repeating herself - same old stories. I was tempted for one second to have a drink and she said to me “you can have ONE drink, c’mon”. But I said to myself “What is the point? I will just feel like sh*# tomorrow and regret it.” I dropped her off at home and curled up with a book and some tea. One day at a time.9 -
For our new friends... Stop Drinking Expert Craig Beck has some shocking brutal truthful videos to watch. He has a lot of them. My favorites are these older ones, not so polished, but increasingly powerful. This one is 10 min. Long. He says alcohol is a Devious insidious drug that makes you think it solves your problems, but you have problems because alcohol put them there in the first place. Again, I’m gearing up for NYE.
https://youtu.be/00DIsrRELb4 3 -
Hi everyone! I’d like to join this group. I’ve been AF since Dec. 26 (a plan I’ve had for quite some time). Also back to exercise and tracking food. It’s helpful to read everyone’s stories and to be reminded that I’m not the only one who can’t have just one... or who who will likely be the one to reach for one more when the rest of the group has naturally stopped pouring them.
Over the past couple of years, alcohol has been my crutch for a stressful job, busy family life... when I drink I drink a ton of calories and eat a ton more. I don’t feel like exercising.
I definitely need to find some new ways to unwind, because once my “break” is over (I’m an educator), the stress will return. I’m bound and determined to keep up the healthy habits I’m setting up right now. Thanks for your support!7 -
https://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Joy-Being-Sober-alcohol-free/dp/1912023385
Recommending this Catherine Gray book again now that it's available here in the states, finally. It has some good techniques for staying happy in sobriety even with a booming social calendar. Although I definitely could not identify with that part'
it's a well written and relatable book. She has a workbook either out already or out soon to go with it.
I read it over the summer and was thinking of you, Ruby, with your colleagues, friends and neighbors all drinking around you. My husband has been AF for 2 1/2 years and it's no secret how sick he was from drinking, so nobody in our social situations make an issue out of me not having "just one drink". I've got it very easy in that department.3 -
emilysusana wrote: »Hi everyone! I’d like to join this group. I’ve been AF since Dec. 26 (a plan I’ve had for quite some time). Also back to exercise and tracking food. It’s helpful to read everyone’s stories and to be reminded that I’m not the only one who can’t have just one... or who who will likely be the one to reach for one more when the rest of the group has naturally stopped pouring them.
Over the past couple of years, alcohol has been my crutch for a stressful job, busy family life... when I drink I drink a ton of calories and eat a ton more. I don’t feel like exercising.
I definitely need to find some new ways to unwind, because once my “break” is over (I’m an educator), the stress will return. I’m bound and determined to keep up the healthy habits I’m setting up right now. Thanks for your support!
Hi. Glad you are here! Great job getting started on your new goal here. It gets to be tough when using alcohol to unwind as I found I needed to unwind every day and at some point alcohol was feeding my need to unwind further--so I never felt I could escape it. Anyways I went to old hobbies that I used to enjoy that are fun and quick to see results as drinking brought that, especially at first. But the hobbies were positive, unlike alcohol. I also go to the gym on the way home from work when I need to. I NEVER thought I would like this idea of working off stress until I made myself try it. I go in without my coat even when snowing/raining, no lock needed to lock anything up, hop on cardio for 10 minutes (sometimes it turns into more) and out the door I go. Quick easy fix like alcohol was, but with benefits. It is amazing how much it lifts your mood. I tend to need to go somewhere after work before I go home since home seems to have some jobs to do there as well. I also make sure I have planned outings with my friends and they are on the calendar at all times. Right now I strive for once a month. I need to be better about planning my vacations however (small 3 day weekends or an extra day off along the way as well). I used to plan the next one before I finished the last one. This I am striving to do again as I speak. Hope this may help in some small way to give you some ideas to get started.6 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Sometimes my thought pattern is this “Well, he drinks a lot and he still looks healthy. Nothing seems to be wrong with him.” I sometimes ponder that it seems like “everyone” around me is drinking and seems to have no ill effects. I think “why am i working so hard to not drink when everyone else is having fun. “
But then I tell myself to worry about myself, stop judging others, drinking makes you depressed, anxious and overweight. It’s really a mind game. Last night, I went with a friend to a bar. She was quite buzzed because we left a party and she had a few. I was driving. She was repeating herself - same old stories. I was tempted for one second to have a drink and she said to me “you can have ONE drink, c’mon”. But I said to myself “What is the point? I will just feel like sh*# tomorrow and regret it.” I dropped her off at home and curled up with a book and some tea. One day at a time.
Nice job! That would be like playing with fire for me, but you pulled it off...That self talk is excellent. Yes one day, 1 hour or otherwise at a time...
I used to work in a hospital environment and I was drinking heavily when not at work still. I heard Dr.'s come in to ask the patients questions like, " do you drink"? Once I heard the response as, "no". Then the next question was, "did you EVER drink heavily". Then I heard the response as "yes". I believe we are doing things to ourselves on the insides that we don't know we are doing. People may look good and no health concern showing up now, but we can't be deceived. Having this"fun" now may come at a price, especially for someone like me that can't stop at one or even two. Wished I could...gosh darn it...., but it is not worth it. People may put it together after I die.
I can't even imagine the dehydration from alcohol and what it probably does to the kidneys. Then couple that in with gaining weight and its health risks.......on and on...Funny we don't hear much about this stuff.....7 -
Wow @salleewins that was eye opening. I used to hear from the dr. "have you EVER smoked?" (yes) and I knew that can have health implications down the road but I didn't even think about that with booze. For those of us struggling, we are all in this together. Let's give a warm welcome to all our new members sure to show up in January.4
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Happy Sunday all love the article RubyRed,glad you passed on the "one drink" I never can understand that,my daughter will buy one can of beer and drink it in her room,omg I could NEVER do that! It would only start up a flame that needs to be constantly fed,Lorraine,that's a tough situation,everyone gave you good advice I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes so I have no answers,this whole NYE hoopla bugs me,,it shouldn't it's just another day really and even in my heaviest drinking days I never went out and partied anyways so why does my mind feel like I'm missing out? How dumb! Certainly don't want to wake up January 1 sick as a dog,last time I drank my kidneys were aching so bad I was so dehydrated and just couldn't get quenched,it was awful,waves to all and wishes for a super,sober,Sunday! 8
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I don't know quite what it is. I really never partied much on NYE either. But maybe it is the get-together aspect with friends/family that I am not doing that makes me feel like I am missing something. I didn't travel at Christmas to be with family because I know they do their toast at midnight and really a host of reasons--mostly the travel and logistics. It would not be just a toast for me---it would be drinking then sleeping, waking up to have the toast (if I made it--if not I would drink it when I woke up at 2 am or??), probably drink some more and then back to sleep. I told my sister it would be hard for me and she said that they didn't have to have the toast. See I couldn't say I wouldn't have the toast if I were there, this first year of sobriety anyways. It was very kind of her to offer that however.
In college-many years ago--even then-I had a case of Canadian beer in my closet not one can. Of course because it had more alcohol content--whether I thought about the %age of alcohol or not--my body must have. I drank it room temp because I didn't want me father to know how much I drank if I had it in the fridge.
Sorry Lorraine, too. Hope it works out the way you want it to.5 -
Salleewins,I'm so glad to read I'm not the only one who's drank room temperature beer,bleh! Makes me gag just thinking about it but when you're hiding it I guess we thought it was worth it,ugh,those weren't the days
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Currently, I’m drinking that FRE Sutter Home to quench a craving. It actually smells like Chardonnay but tastes like grape juice. I wouldn’t recommend it. But since it was open, I decided to drink a glass.7
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Went out for steak and sat at the bar....got myself a tonic water....the bartender made several drinks right in my face but I did not get tempted....I did think how fun it would be to have one of those some day but I had absolutely no urge to order a drink....kind of a win and a loss11
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Currently, I’m drinking that FRE Sutter Home to quench a craving. It actually smells like Chardonnay but tastes like grape juice. I wouldn’t recommend it. But since it was open, I decided to drink a glass.
Please be careful in drinking any NA wine's or beers. It's a very slippery slope and can make the craving worse. I can't even drink water out of a wine glass anymore.
Last night we were at a party at my parents house. I was essentially the only non-drinker (I'm the only alcoholic too) and I saw someone leave behind an almost full glass of big beefy red (that was my love and best friend...or so I thought) and I had to pray that my higher power remove the obsession for me to think it was OK for me to take a sip. I'm 6.5 years removed from alcohol and it still will get me like that.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Currently, I’m drinking that FRE Sutter Home to quench a craving. It actually smells like Chardonnay but tastes like grape juice. I wouldn’t recommend it. But since it was open, I decided to drink a glass.
Please be careful in drinking any NA wine's or beers. It's a very slippery slope and can make the craving worse. I can't even drink water out of a wine glass anymore.
Last night we were at a party at my parents house. I was essentially the only non-drinker (I'm the only alcoholic too) and I saw someone leave behind an almost full glass of big beefy red (that was my love and best friend...or so I thought) and I had to pray that my higher power remove the obsession for me to think it was OK for me to take a sip. I'm 6.5 years removed from alcohol and it still will get me like that.
Thanks for the tip! No worries- I don’t like the fake wine, and it’s a lot of sugar. Back to Lacroix and Perrier. Thanks for the message. 5 -
That wolf is always waiting like you say Ruby......Thanks for that analogy. I always use it.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Sometimes my thought pattern is this “Well, he drinks a lot and he still looks healthy. Nothing seems to be wrong with him.” I sometimes ponder that it seems like “everyone” around me is drinking and seems to have no ill effects. I think “why am i working so hard to not drink when everyone else is having fun. “
But then I tell myself to worry about myself, stop judging others, drinking makes you depressed, anxious and overweight. It’s really a mind game. Last night, I went with a friend to a bar. She was quite buzzed because we left a party and she had a few. I was driving. She was repeating herself - same old stories. I was tempted for one second to have a drink and she said to me “you can have ONE drink, c’mon”. But I said to myself “What is the point? I will just feel like sh*# tomorrow and regret it.” I dropped her off at home and curled up with a book and some tea. One day at a time.
I used to reason the same way and it IS a mind game, how things "seem" isn't often how things are and the "fun" is mostly a facade Thanks for the Craig Beck video above. He makes such good points and strips away the B.S. about alcohol. Your reasoning with yourself was spot on, "What is the point?"3 -
Today is just day 6 AF for me this time around. I was AF for 3 months plus 4 months (in between was one premeditated weekend of drinking with my college friends in New Orleans where we went to school, so I can’t count it as 7 months).
I’ve done shorter periods too. Each time, I’ve begun during a semester or summer break (I teach), and many of my previous runs have broken at the end of the first stressful week of a new semester. So I’m looking ahead to that as the first major challenge.
When I was most successful, that 3 + 4 month stretch, my AF was coupled with very serious weight loss efforts. It ended when I reached my goal weight. So that’s what I see as my second major challenge. Like that time (2016), I have serious weight to lose and feel tremendously motivated for that. But how will I feel when I am in maintenance?
Just my thoughts this NYE morning.5 -
Happy NYE!! Hope everyone has a safe,AF night,I'll probably be in bed right after the New York ball drops(I'm in Vegas so it'll be 9) just can't do late nights anymore cuz it messes up my sleep for about a week I swear! Just think how by not drinking we'll wake up feeling great while everyone else is sick as a dog! 4
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Good Morn to all my Sober Squad friends
I sometimes make recordings when I'm driving so that I can write whatever it is I'm thinking at the time in my journal later...It helps me to vent my stuff & then when I play it back, it is helpful to me in processing my feelings about stuff....ANYWAY, I was listening to a recent vent about being confronted with all the alcohol this season & my longing & feelings around it..this was my dialogue: "I WISH I could drink moderately, BUT I CANNOT!!" But, I don't wish I was hungover, I don't wish I felt like crap every day, I don't wish I couldn't sleep anymore, I don't wish I was gaining weight a mile a minute, I don't wish for all those things, I don't wish for a guilty conscience or regret, or disappointment...so when I think of the downside of drinking, there is WAY more downside than there is an upside!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When I think of all the courage & determination & honesty & strength on this thread of all of you who don't look at alcohol through a cloud of denial any longer. it inspires to me to show those same qualities in my struggle to remain AF!! It can be lonely & isolating to stand our as different in a world where it "seems" everyone else is having "fun" drinking. Yet the eventual price for that "fun" isn't worth it!
I've come to realize I don't have to defend my choice to not drink nor do I need to think less of those who do. We all were given free will to make our own choices in life. Not drinking is the BEST choice for me and I am so glad to be in the company of others who feel the same way.
Hope you all have a happy & sober evening & feel good about your choices No Regrets!!!!! 
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fyi if you are looking for a sober place to be tonight, many sober clubs will have a party tonight. sometimes with speakers and/or dinner.
NA options send some people off to the races, other people are fine.
enjoy the night, however you decide to spend it.5 -
Ruby thanks for bringing Craig Beck's video. Serious, "spot on" and made me laugh with his presentation as times.3
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salleewins wrote: »Ruby thanks for bringing Craig Beck's video. Serious, "spot on" and made me laugh with his presentation as times.
I think I have a crush on that Craig Beck. I absolutely love his honesty, his humor and seriousness. He gives me great inspiration to be AF free.6 -
@lorrainequiche59 Loved your post. I enjoy hearing your thoughts because they ring true to me. There are so many life changing positives that come with sobriety. And it is hard hard work to stay sober. But it’s hard work to make any significant change in your life. I’m so happy you have found strength to stay AF and are damn proud of it. As we all should be!5
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I am reflecting to years past. I actually never got very drunk on NYE because I probably had way too much during the Christmas holidays that on NYE I was probably tired of drinking. However, I do remember a sad moment. As a young mom, after celebrating with neighbors on NYE. I stumbled to bed, hanging one foot off the bed because the room was spinning. Then, I was awoken by my little girl at 5:00 a.m. and she was all happy and awake and ready to start her day. I remember laying on the floor of her room feeling like such a failure ; I was still partially drunk. I really thought something unique was wrong with only me. I really thought I was the only one who could not stop at one drink. I feel sorry now for that young mom (me) because I had no idea that there were others who felt like me.
What I’m trying to say is thank you so much to all who participate on this thread; some of us have been chatting since last January 1st. It is so comforting to know that i am not alone in this journey. Xo Happy New Year!12 -
This is my first NYE staying in since 2008 or 2009 I think. I have a cold and "that time of the month" so I don't feel like even leaving the house let alone having a night out, and my husband isn't much of a partier so he doesn't mind staying in. I feel like NYE is a bit overrated anyway and any other weekend is better for going out. Instead I'm going to do some work, we might watch a movie, and we will get some sort of sparkling cider or something to toast with. But anyway just saying that there's nothing wrong with staying in sometimes and there's a lot of societal pressure and FOMO to have the "perfect" night out for NYE but it's just a societal construct anyway and sometimes it isn't relevant to where you are in life. And here's a relevant joke for your amusement:
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nuhxf/totally_overhyped_new_years_eve_party/4 -
Happy New Years Eve and thank you to all of YOU for your participation over the past months here. I never dreamed when I started this thread that we would have so many wonderful people sharing their stories, struggles, sorrows and joys. You are all so inspirational to me and this whole experience has been truly gratifying and humbling. May you all have a safe and happy New Years Eve tonight and I hope to see everyone back in 2019! Love, Jen 5
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