The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Feel better Ruby!! The days are getting longer. We just can't always tell with the clouds, right? Hugs!!5
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@RubyRed427 I am sorry you have the blues. The weather does not help. Maybe a light like Lorraine has will help? You KNOW what won't help so I am glad you are avoiding alcohol. Maybe treat yourself to a massage or something pampering? For those of us doing dry January its day 11 and we are now more than a third of the way done!6
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Here is to dry January and day 11!
I wanted dry January as mentioned above to help lose weight, make better choices and I knew I have been drinking too much. One of the main drivers was for the additional pounds that I have put on and also (sadly) if I am totally brutally honest not happy with myself of not remembering things from the night before.
Lessons that I have learned thus far to help motivate and continue my path of AF. Not forever, but in a more sustainable manner:
1) Relying too much on alcohol when I am stressed/frusturated etc.
Learned: I feel so much better when I am stressed, frusturated to go workout or do something healthy. Drinking never makes it better. I knew this, but difference now I am doing it.
2) Relying too much to help me relax and go to sleep.
Learned: I am not falling asleep as fast; however, I am sleeping so much more soundly. Everyone always says this, but now I am experiencing it.
3) I wanted to quit alcohol to give up calories in order to lose weight.
Learned: This is so much more than a number on a scale for me. I am feeling great and thankful I am making the right choices. I am eating right, working out and not drinking. If the scale doesn’t move I am not worried. I want a healthier version of me in 2019.
All the best to everyone! Great forum.
@RubyRed427 have you done any more lessons on duolingo?7 -
A good book and free is you are unlimited kindle on Amazon is: A Sober Year Daily Musings on an Alcohol-Free Life By Meredith Bell. Everyday it has a few paragraphs to read. Inspirational.4
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RubyRed427 wrote: »I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones . And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo
Depression sucks. It was a trigger for me. I have not had a major episode since last major med adjustment, which was almost 2 years ago. Some minor dips. I do worry some about what will happen if I drop into the abyss for a while. I hope yours passes quickly.6 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I’m doing well. But lately feel depressed. I blame everything on hormones . And of course the cloudy grey weather doesn’t help here in Ohio. @JenT304 What a sweet idea of donating your savings to your sister. I haven’t had a lot of time to comment on everyone’s posts but I am reading them. Hugs to all! Xo
You're right, the cloudy, grey weather doesn't help. I have used a therapy light in the past & found it to be very helpful. I had a huge dinosaur of a light an elderly friend gave to me years ago. It's interesting to me how I found it to be helpful, but for some reason I stopped using it...It took up quite a bit of space on my dining room table and I remember one year just toughing out the depression rather than setting it up again...and it requires time. This one recommends sitting in front of it for one hour daily...I got rid of the dinosaur light 2 moves ago because of the size of it and just never replaced it...this one is the size of a 12" tablet and is VERY bright. It helps with circadian rhythm promoting a better quality sleep as well as other things that help with SAD.
It definitely helps me, BUT it isn't a cure all. Depression can be multi-layered. So, I hope you find the source of yours I find YouTube very helpful in my emotional struggles.4 -
Love mediation as well! Insight app is awesome and free!3
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Happy Friday all,Ruby big((hugs)) I've been feeling bluesy too,I blame hormones and post holiday blues for mine,its just more of a "meh" feeling and it really blows! Hope we both feel better quick everyone sounds like they're doing great,very proud of this group,have a great day all!6
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WOW!!! So many of you doing so well...inspiring. For me it's day 18...but might as well be the 18th day of forever because life is so grand I'll never go back. Still plenty of *kitten* to wade through each day. Still problems and the daily grind. Work still sucks somedays....but life is grand because now I can face it....sober, strong, and steady.9
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I am struck by the unconditional and non-judgmental support in this group. I spent the last few days lurking.. Reading every post.. 77 pages was a lot, but I looked at some of the Craig Beck videos and decided that I'm done trying to moderate, thanks to this group. I've been in a depressive funk the past couple weeks, but what I've read gives me a newfound hope that I can come out on the other side with regard to quitting alcohol.. Alcohol has been the reason I have tried and failed at losing weight over the past 3 years and I'm ready to get back to being a fit healthy person, not only for myself, but for my 9 month old son.
I'm typically a person who sets my mind to something and does it, period. 10 years ago I decided to quit smoking during the most stressful year of graduate school and I did it.. Also told myself at the time, you will get fat and that's ok, you'll lose it.. And I got fat, lost it, and completed my program without picking up another cigarette ever again.. Unfortunately, I think alcohol took the place of cigarettes, just not at the same frequency..
My tendencies toward perfection are hurting more than helping these days so my approach right now is: AF, hopefully for good.. I don't have to do that and have a flawless whole food, no white carb etc,etc diet at the same time.. Priorities.. Just trying to get back into my workout routine and 'eat better' in tandem with not drinking.
Sorry for the ramble.. I look forward to taking on this journey with all of you! Today is day 4 for me.
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@Yellowstone1983 good to hear from you. Perfectionists put a lot of pressure on themselves, it’s no wonder alcohol offers a brief reprieve. But sounds like you are over it (alcohol) and have a beautiful reason to be present and NOT numb (your baby). Wishing you well. Look forward to seeing your posts when you have time.
Take it from me, alcohol can hinder motherhood, because it made me more anxious and even worsens depression. And it’s not fun having your children worry about you and eyeball how much you drink.8 -
Thanks Ruby for welcoming me!3
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RubyRed427 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 good to hear from you. Perfectionists put a lot of pressure on themselves, it’s no wonder alcohol offers a brief reprieve. But sounds like you are over it (alcohol) and have a beautiful reason to be present and NOT numb (your baby). Wishing you well. Look forward to seeing your posts when you have time.
Take it from me, alcohol can hinder motherhood, because it made me more anxious and even worsens depression. And it’s not fun having your children worry about you and eyeball how much you drink.
As a jumping off point with posts, I thought I'd be able to moderate after 9 months off during my pregnancy. I was pleased with myself that I was indifferent to the bottle of champagne my sister brought to the hospital, but I knew once I got home I wanted a drink.. And I had multiple after I pumped despite getting all of 15 hrs of sleep in 4 days (c-section had me in the hospital that long). I vowed I would just get the urge out of my system and would slow down with my former, pre-pregnancy almost every evening wine, but I got back to that after a few months once I knew I could pump enough extra milk and spent every day working part time (after 2 weeks off) and being a mommy full time. That was my relaxation after he would sleep. So here I am saying enough of a substance having control over me8 -
@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.5 -
@lorrainequiche59 Thanks for the kind words! I look forward to posting, and providing support where I can.5
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Good morning friends! I finally feel better. I was in a slump all week for probably ten reasons, and I really tried to get that joy back into my mind. Today, I woke up and said “Dont you feel so happy you didn’t drink!!? “ I feel good this morning. Will excercise, get haircut and color and go to book store with the kids before son goes to college.
Speaking of haircuts, in my salon the mirror and lighting really do a number on self esteem. I have sat in front of that salon mirror with a hangover, puffy face, etc. and thought why do you do this to yourself. Why do you look so “old” when you are young-ish. I knew it was alcohol; it’s aging. Happy to say that today, I am hoping to sit there and see a thinner face looking back at me. LOL
Wishing all a good day.10 -
@RubyRed427 Wishing you a good sober day! I feel you with the looking so much better when not drinking.. I want to maintain my looks while I still have them.. Also, it seems like you're good at filling your time with pleasant activities throughout the day and that's something I think I should try to get better at.4
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
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Thanks for this. I'd like to jump in with both feet. I'm wondering if others can relate to 'when' I struggle.. I almost never go out anywhere (for drinks). I don't remember the last time I went out with friends. My husband and I have only been on 1 date without the baby in the last 9 months.. We are just in a terrible habit of drinking at night after work at home. He's very supportive btw, but also not at the same place I am. When I told him I want to quit permanently he said, "Not even socially?" He's also been AF the last few days, but suggested we both get healthy/lose weight and then moderate, which I told him doesn't work for me..
So my long winded point is that I struggle at home at night after work. That's the prime struggle until 'camping season', which will be very tough. We have a vacation spot in wine country that we go to many weekends throughout the summer so I want to get in a good place with AF now.5 -
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/g11644970/celebrities-who-dont-drink-alcohol/
For fun and inspiration, I sometimes read about celebrities who have gone sober. The common theme is life is much better sober. I like Kristin Davis comments that it was going to be one or other. Drink and stay hungover or not drink.
I also tell myself that these people have award shows, free booze and wine probably anytime they want, etc. Just some motivation for me to see others sober. Xo
@Yellowstone1983 For sure, Alcohol creates redness, more lines, puffiness, bloat, etc. I took a picture of myself Dec. 2017 after a particular awful night of drinking. Next morning, I took a selfie to remind me of how painful my drinking has become. Yesterday while cleaning and decluttering, I found a picture from about 8 years ago of me and the kids. The kids looked so happy next to me and I looked so puffy,miserable,and old behind my smile. I didn’t throw the pic away even though I hate how I looked. Because it will remind me of how painful my life was with alcohol. I probably had several glasses of wine before that picture. Made me sad to see.9
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