The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Can't thank each and everyone one of you for your insight , struggles and everyday challenges , although I don't post much, I truly appreciate your honesty . I have read each one, and for me, and again, this applies only to me , its gotten now where I don't crave or even give it a second thought.......there's wine and beer in the fridge, lol, been sitting there for while now, its Lent and its my wifes, but she has absolutely no problem stopping for Lent.........she may drink 4 days a week, and maybe a beer or a glass of wine.....she has absolutely no problem with alcohol
I think that each of us have different stages of addiction........I worked with a lady who said her husband drank a case of beer a day..............whoa, I cant fathom that, but I know her and she is an honest person....He is addicted to alcohol. period...........he CANT stop........hes been in rehab a number of time and he just cant stop.....I think his addiction differs from lots of us.........I stopped for about 15 years, never , never even wanted to have a drink. Then went to a party and had a few.........so for a few more years, I was a moderate drinker. Last April I said enough, I was getting to the point that I was looking forward to 5 o'clock in the evening to have a bottle of wine.................red flag
I am not totally in understanding of people who drink 2 or 3 pints of straight whiskey, I truly have so much compassion for them, I guess they just don't realize the damage they are doing to their body, their brain and sadly, to their loved ones...........man, I had an alcoholic father that really screwed up his life and his family's. I am lost when it comes to addiction........... so unfair
I guess what works for me, and again, this applies only to me, is that I am not going to risk losing my health, my family, and have to deal with the anger, stress , anxiety of getting a buzz for a few hours...........again, best wishes to each of you for being since and honest, it really helps us all..............Lloyd12 -
kevinrfletcher wrote: »Man, I never realized so many people struggle EXACTLY like I do. Makes you feel not so alone.
Really, every day is Day One. We have to make that same choice every morning...
SO TRUE!! It IS always Day One!! Simple but profound. Happy Day 12
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@JenT304 Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!
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@lloydrt Your comment about each of us being at different stages of addiction hit home with me. I never had to drink every drop of wine before I called it a night...BUT I liked to be at a specific level of "buzz" before calling it a night. For me it was the dependence of "taking the edge off" that became my biggest concern and when I'd be sitting on the toilet~LOL~the next morning thinking, "I"m not drinking tonight"...I specifically remembered the first time I did that and the thought that popped into my brain was of my ex (alcoholic) husband and that was the beginning of the end for me...except "the end" didn't come right away...there were lots more promises not to drink followed by talking myself into drinking throughout the day and caving that night...I suppose I just got sick & tired of feeling sick & tired. The buzz just doesn't seem worth all the other stuff...like you said the good things are not worth risking for a temporary buzz...Thanks for the reminder. 7
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And now my 2nd vent....as I was driving home this eve, I thought of another Friday eve home alone with my canine pal...since I've stopped drinking, my social life is rather lacking. I suppose I've been hoping for my phone to ring & it hasn't much...hardly at all. LOL I used to initiate a lot more social stuff with friends, but it usually revolved around wine & food. I never realized how much I did initiate stuff until I stopped. It's been a bit of an eye opener. I don't want to think my lack of invites is due to my sober status, but I truly think it is.
So I'm thinking I need to get some new friends...waddya think...?7 -
Wow...a lot of good posts up there 👆👆👆
My wife and I stopped at a bar/grill tonight for some pub grub.
She got a peach margarita...as usual
I had water with lemon to celebrate my 8 weeks AF today.
Temptations are still there. But I know my off switch is broken.11 -
As promised, my Friday evening check in. I'm floored by the change a 'trigger' can make in my thought process.. All day I was just feeling pleased with being back to day 8, sticking with my rigid diet (lost 7 pounds since last Friday). Then the hubs opens a Friday night beer and I start thinking of wine to relax.. Grab a Dasani sparkling though instead.. Fortunately there's no wine in the house or I'd probably talk myself into it. At times when I have these cravings, I start questioning my desire to make this permanent, but I like to think that if I keep fighting the urges long enough they will dissipate. At least I'm AF for now and I'll worry about later, later.. I think part of the struggle tonight is because of the beginning of a pattern of Friday nights for the first 2 weeks of March. Lots of research to do tonight for a big meeting tomorrow to keep me busy.. That is when the little guy finally goes to bed for the night. Hope you all have a nice AF Friday!8
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@lorrainequiche59 I’m bored! I am home again on a Friday night. Just looking at the ipad. Made a pot of tea. Painted my nails. But I must admit I am bored. Same thing here, no more text messages to meet at the local bar. I waved to my friend and her husband who drove by heading for the local hangout. There they are like a permanent fixture. They even have started to be friends and go out with the bartenders. Anyway, I am not jealous of them. Nor do I want a hangover that I would have if I hung out with them. They have that hollow leg- can drink so much and yet go to the gym the next day... anyway.. Lorraine, I can relate. But in the morning, we will feel so happy that we didnt ruin our Saturday with a headache and fatigue.
I look forward to some sun. Tomorrow, I’ll be doing divorce papers most of the day and maybe getting an apartment lease signed. I am in a transition in my life. Just today, I asked myself “What is the meaning of life?” I’ll figure that out another day. But for today, we are sober and peaceful. Xo 9 -
@Yellowstone1983 I enjoy the Dasani sparkling water. I like the thin cans.
@Ed_Zilla Hope you ate some good bar food! Yum!
@lloydrt Yes, addiction is a brutal thing. I guess there are stages. Sounds like those who drink pints of whiskey are really bad off. Sorry you had to endure life with a alcoholic parent. I’m happy you have stopped that cycle. Xo
@whitpauly That is the truth! It grows legs and takes over. Yep!!
@errydayimmusclin Yes, it’s something to think about whether to be AF for life. But maybe just break it down into small chunks. Today, I will be Af. And so on...8 -
@RubyRed427 BIG HUGS TO YOU Just checked in before heading to bed...YES, it is 9:20 pm after all...need my beauty rest for packing tomorrow LOL...I have 7 boxes & am going to pack them ALL...it's a start. I sign my lease for my new bachelorette pad next week and get the keys & then slowly will get my new place set up...at least a good start before official move-in day somewhere in April...likely later in the month.
YES, I am always happy when I wake up without the "was-I-just-hit-by-a-truck-last-night" feeling. Even when I don't get the best sleep & feel dragged out the next day, it is a way better day than drinking the night before.
My pup & I are lounging in bed and plan on falling asleep to some Netflix show...Oh the life of a single, sober, older gal !!!! LOL8 -
The weekend is here. My MD Terps are playing in the basketball tournament at noon so I am sure wherever we end up watching, the drinks will be flowing. I am armed with my knitting project to keep my hands busy. Have a happy Sober Saturday, Friends. 9
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@RubyRed427 BIG HUGS TO YOU Just checked in before heading to bed...YES, it is 9:20 pm after all...need my beauty rest for packing tomorrow LOL...I have 7 boxes & am going to pack them ALL...it's a start. I sign my lease for my new bachelorette pad next week and get the keys & then slowly will get my new place set up...at least a good start before official move-in day somewhere in April...likely later in the month.
YES, I am always happy when I wake up without the "was-I-just-hit-by-a-truck-last-night" feeling. Even when I don't get the best sleep & feel dragged out the next day, it is a way better day than drinking the night before.
My pup & I are lounging in bed and plan on falling asleep to some Netflix show...Oh the life of a single, sober, older gal !!!! LOL
While you’re packing, just pack things that spark joy. Our house is full of things that don’t spark joy! (Kondo method) So when I move this summer, I am going to be a minimalist. Small apartment will force me to just keep the things I LOVE.
Happy you went to bed early! Best wishes for your new bachelorette pad!7 -
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@RubyRed427I had 120 days AF this past July-December 10th. Then, I thought I could moderate and drank a few glasses of wine which turned into a binge for the day and then the most wicked hangover. Since Dec. 10, I have been dabbling in wine here and there.... because once I broke the streak, it has been so difficult for my brain to go back to my rigid way of thinking. While I was AF, I told myself it was non-negotiable that I would not drink. And I kept that streak going and it became easier and easier. I was really satisfied being a non-drinker. Then, BAM, I broke the streak and haven’t gotten it back.
I had a 75-day streak AF, did exactly what you and others describe ("I feel so great! One drink could never destroy this feeling!") and ended up consuming I-don't-even-want-to-think-about-how-much one evening. Everything seems simpler to me now, somehow. I just don't drink anymore. It took a long time to make peace with this simple idea. Not, "Someday I might," or "One day at a time," just: "I don't drink anymore."
And if I put any other substance in place of alcohol, it would sound just ridiculous. "Apples disagree with me, they significantly increase my chance of cancer, reduce my productivity, fundamentally alter my personality and cause me to lose control of my full cognition but... you know... APPLES! How could I give up apples?!" It is beyond absurd.
It is not fear of drinking anymore for me, however. It is gratitude for how fabulous this time (minus one spectacular fall off the wagon) has been. Yes, I've lost weight. But I've also gained confidence, my artistic and spiritual life have blossomed, and I feel aligned in every other part of my life. This rather small thing -- drinking -- was putting me out of alignment and preventing the whole machine from operating as it should.13 -
lagoscarrie wrote: »@RubyRed427I had 120 days AF this past July-December 10th. Then, I thought I could moderate and drank a few glasses of wine which turned into a binge for the day and then the most wicked hangover. Since Dec. 10, I have been dabbling in wine here and there.... because once I broke the streak, it has been so difficult for my brain to go back to my rigid way of thinking. While I was AF, I told myself it was non-negotiable that I would not drink. And I kept that streak going and it became easier and easier. I was really satisfied being a non-drinker. Then, BAM, I broke the streak and haven’t gotten it back.
I had a 75-day streak AF, did exactly what you and others describe ("I feel so great! One drink could never destroy this feeling!") and ended up consuming I-don't-even-want-to-think-about-how-much one evening. Everything seems simpler to me now, somehow. I just don't drink anymore. It took a long time to make peace with this simple idea. Not, "Someday I might," or "One day at a time," just: "I don't drink anymore."
And if I put any other substance in place of alcohol, it would sound just ridiculous. "Apples disagree with me, they significantly increase my chance of cancer, reduce my productivity, fundamentally alter my personality and cause me to lose control of my full cognition but... you know... APPLES! How could I give up apples?!" It is beyond absurd.
It is not fear of drinking anymore for me, however. It is gratitude for how fabulous this time (minus one spectacular fall off the wagon) has been. Yes, I've lost weight. But I've also gained confidence, my artistic and spiritual life have blossomed, and I feel aligned in every other part of my life. This rather small thing -- drinking -- was putting me out of alignment and preventing the whole machine from operating as it should.
Love your comments. Drinking does put us out of alignment - well said. “I just dont drink anymore.” Great mantra! Xo4 -
Good afternoon friends! MFP was messing up for me the last couple of days and the little "reply" box wasn't there. Seems to be good today.
I feel like I've been struggling lately. It didn't help that one of my husband's friends brought some wine and uncorked it at the house. But I stayed the course. I've felt irritable and angry but I assume (and hope) it hasn't showed.
Today was a little different. I had an epiphany...I am grieving! I had a long relationship with alcohol and I feel the lack of it's presence in my life. Even though it was a dysfunctional relationship, I find that I'm missing how reliable it was. I'm not kidding myself, I also know alcohol was never a true friend and would throw me under the bus in a heartbeat. But it makes sense to grieve. There will be denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. And not necessarily in that order. I've been through several stages and I think I hit the anger one last week. It's a process. - Just knowing this somehow made me feel better. This is a phase and it will not last. And I will NOT let it bring me down.
I miss you alcohol, but not enough to get back together with you!!
Many hugs to you all!! My mantra today is "Create a great day!" And I wish the same for you.10 -
PS - 9 weeks and 3 days AF today!8
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Everyone else is probably in bed and I'm definitely getting ready. Another AF Saturday night in the books. Even when I order water at a restaurant, I typically look at the cocktail menu to 'see what I'm missing'. I chose not to tonight bc why bother.. Even if I'm unsure about the whole forever part, that probably wouldn't help it.. Nice day with the fam.. Hope you all had a nice Saturday as well6
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MountainLaurel787 wrote: »Good afternoon friends! MFP was messing up for me the last couple of days and the little "reply" box wasn't there. Seems to be good today.
I feel like I've been struggling lately. It didn't help that one of my husband's friends brought some wine and uncorked it at the house. But I stayed the course. I've felt irritable and angry but I assume (and hope) it hasn't showed.
Today was a little different. I had an epiphany...I am grieving! I had a long relationship with alcohol and I feel the lack of it's presence in my life. Even though it was a dysfunctional relationship, I find that I'm missing how reliable it was. I'm not kidding myself, I also know alcohol was never a true friend and would throw me under the bus in a heartbeat. But it makes sense to grieve. There will be denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. And not necessarily in that order. I've been through several stages and I think I hit the anger one last week. It's a process. - Just knowing this somehow made me feel better. This is a phase and it will not last. And I will NOT let it bring me down.
I miss you alcohol, but not enough to get back together with you!!
Many hugs to you all!! My mantra today is "Create a great day!" And I wish the same for you.
YES YES YES...It is grief and it is a process. It is an entirely new way of being and loss is a huge part of the process, but like you said this too shall pass. Recognizing the stages as you go through them will definitely help you to cope with the loss and reassure yourself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I could SO relate to this post. Thank you for the reminder.
I also was having trouble with reply box not being there in the past couple of days...the only thing that showed at the bottom of all the comments was the date...the Quote, Like, Inspiring etc was not there either. When I scrolled to the bottom of the last comment where it now says, "You can use BBCode in your post", there was a indicator saying "sign-in" and something else I can't recall, so I clicked on "sign in" and it restored the reply box etc....weirdness, but it happened a couple of times.3 -
Yellowstone1983 wrote: »Everyone else is probably in bed and I'm definitely getting ready. Another AF Saturday night in the books. Even when I order water at a restaurant, I typically look at the cocktail menu to 'see what I'm missing'. I chose not to tonight bc why bother.. Even if I'm unsure about the whole forever part, that probably wouldn't help it.. Nice day with the fam.. Hope you all had a nice Saturday as well
YAY on another Sober Saturday...sweet dreams and a well-rested, no-regrets day tomorrow 2 -
@Yellowstone1983
Way to go on another Saturday night AF!! I understand your struggle and you are not alone. I believe it ebbs and flows. Just a week ago I was pleased with how easy it all seemed. And then it wasn't. But it's temporary. It's how we handle the urges during those times...and you did a great job tonight. It WILL get easier and better. One day at a time... 3 -
I think context matters when you are trying to be AF. If you normally drink at home, then you have to go out and do things. If you normally drink at bars, then you have to hunker down at home for awhile. I love the comparison of losing your best friend (alcohol) THat is the truth!! Your “friends” has been with you at weddings, funerals, birthdays, parties, dinners, etc. It’s so hard to change a habit, but not impossible.
Wishing all a peaceful Sunday. I signed a lease for a cute apartment yesterday and was on a high from that. 9 -
Hey gang! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Busy day. Gave my daughter and son in law some property to build a house, and we were site prepping, then got a little shooting practice in (we shoot combat pistol competition), then an evening of Canasta, possibly the greatest card game ever known to man... anyways, busy day.
Just an idea, if any of y'all need some extra support on those evenings when the urges get strong, friend request me on Facebook, and message me from there, or set up a group message... I know, group messages are a living hell NO ONE volunteers for, but this is important stuff. I monitor my messenger a lot better than I do MFP. Look for Kevin Fletcher, and I use the same photo as I do on here, me and the wife grinning like idiots in the pool... sooooo, hope to see some of y'all there, fully understand if you don't want to.
Day 13 ~ Yesterday, went real well.
Day 14 ~ Week #2 biiiiatch! Done and done!
And, if y'all get too bored on a Friday or Saturday, we usually have a game of Canasta going, come on over, I'll teach you how to lose... I smack talk a lot when it comes to cards.9 -
172 days AF today. Made it to a basketball watch party last night. Didn’t drink, but did cheat with A LOT of pizza. Gotta live a little 😜13
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Congrats to all with the new apartments, and to everyone else with their new beginnings. Pack what you need, leave what you don't, and enjoy the adventure of becoming a new you.10
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My wife and I are headed to Clearwater Florida for spring break. I hate vacationing during spring break but my wife is a high school teacher, so away we go. Happy wife = happy life. She booked a nice hotel on the beach that has a heated pool and a swim-up bar. I hope they have more options than water, diet coke and club soda. Will probably spend more time on the beach than in the pool anyways.
FWIW - Up until a few weeks ago I used to joke that the swim up bar was the greatest invention of the 20th century.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »I think context matters when you are trying to be AF. If you normally drink at home, then you have to go out and do things. If you normally drink at bars, then you have to hunker down at home for awhile. I love the comparison of losing your best friend (alcohol) THat is the truth!! Your “friends” has been with you at weddings, funerals, birthdays, parties, dinners, etc. It’s so hard to change a habit, but not impossible.
Wishing all a peaceful Sunday. I signed a lease for a cute apartment yesterday and was on a high from that.
Wishing you a wonderful Sunday as well. Congratulations on your new place!5 -
My wife and I are headed to Clearwater Florida for spring break. I hate vacationing during spring break but my wife is a high school teacher, so away we go. Happy wife = happy life. She booked a nice hotel on the beach that has a heated pool and a swim-up bar. I hope they have more options than water, diet coke and club soda. Will probably spend more time on the beach than in the pool anyways.
FWIW - Up until a few weeks ago I used to joke that the swim up bar was the greatest invention of the 20th century.
I am truly proud of all your accomplishments giving up alcohol! Kudos Ed!
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The weekend is here. My MD Terps are playing in the basketball tournament at noon so I am sure wherever we end up watching, the drinks will be flowing. I am armed with my knitting project to keep my hands busy. Have a happy Sober Saturday, Friends.
Knitting and tea has been a huge help when drinks are flowing. What are you planing on knitting?
- Sally3 -
@Fitness327wk I only knit rectangles. Scarves and blankets. I do not want to have to count and think. I do it as meditation.7
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