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What Day Is It?
National Dry Martini Day. It took the ingenuity of an American to combine British Gin and French vermouth, albeit wet, to invent the ancestor of the most venerable cocktail. World Sauntering Day. This not World amble, flounder, lumber, meander, ramble, skulk, stalk, stroll, strut, swagger, trudge, or waddle day. So please,…
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What Day Is It?
This week is: National Pollinator Week. Be very, very cautious this week. Those pollinators' stingers are potent. Meet A Mate Week. Watch that stinger! Today is: International Panic Day. Watch that stinger! International Motorcycle & Scooter Ride to Work Day. Time to dust off your nazi helmet, WWI goggles, engineer boots,…
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What Day Is It?
Global Wind Day. Go ahead. Pull grandpa's finger. It's only melodious wind he'll break. That aroma is grandma making sauerkraut. National Flip Flop Day. The holiest of holies for politicians. National Lobster Day. Giant saltwater crawdaddies thrown alive, screaming and thrashing into a pot of boiling water for our…
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What Day Is It?
National Bourbon Day. The oldest and most American marriage: corn and oak. National Strawberry Shortcake Day. Am I the only one who wants to toss a hair dryer into her bathtub? International Bath Day. If you are in the space station, you have a special dispensation. Everyone else, in the tub, and don't forget to clean that…
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What Day Is It?
National Weed Your Garden Day. One or maybe two Mary Janes mixed in with your Ruby Begonias will go unnoticed by the local constable. International Axe Throwing Day. Not popular with Andrew and Abby Borden. World Softball Day. If you haven't jammed a finger at least three times catching a 16 inch Clincher, you don't know…
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What Day Is It?
Crowded Nest Awareness Day. You and your younger brother are pushing 40. If you are going to bring a date home, keep it down. Mom and dad are trying to get some rest. International Cachaca Day. Any excuse for a cocktail works for me. Loving Day. Marking the day love became legally blind. National Jerky Day. ”You might be a…
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What Day Is It?
This is: National Body Piercing Week. If you all get one, I will too, but ears don't count. National Automotive Service Professional Week. Two words. Goober Pyle. Men's Health Week. This is the one week we might see a doctor if you nag enough. National Hermit Week. Party like no one is watching, because the windows, doors,…
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What Day Is It?
National Upsy Daisy Day. It's here! This is the one day a year everything will work, there will be no bad news, your clothes will fit perfectly, your hair will look great, you absolutely cannot burn toast, everybody will be happy. Can you handle it? Best Friends Day. You are only allowed one. It's not Better Friends Day.…
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What Day Is It?
VCR Day. If Millennials were given the choice of VCR vs Beta, would they choose Rotary Princess Phone? Chocolate Ice Cream Day. Staining white clothes for 326 years. Phyllophaga Day. You're gonna need the big bug zapper, and then watch the carnage. Prince Day. He won't be attending this year. Hemp Lobby Day. Lining Chuck…
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What Day Is It?
Atheists Pride Day. After much deep, time consuming and thorough research I finally found their only prayer and I'm sharing it with you. Drive In Movie Day. Millennials will never know propping a bad speaker onto the car window and not watching a movie playing on a big screen in front of 199 of 200 cars with steamed up…
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What Day Is It?
Festival of Popular Delusions Day. This was first celebrated on November 7, 2016 but will be moved to June 14 this year. National Moonshine Day. Corn liquor, white lightning, sugar whiskey, skull cracker, popskull, bush whiskey, stump, stumphole, it's all good today. National Attitude Day. "I do not have an attitude, dear.…
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What Day Is It?
This week is National Fishing & Boating Week. If fish can swim indefinitely, why would they need boats and why have have I never seen a fish water skiing? National Headache Awareness Week. I don't know about you, but I've pretty much been aware of most of my headaches. National Pet Appreciation Week. Who wouldn't…
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What Day Is It?
This month is Celibacy Awareness Month. Once practiced by Catholic Priests. Potty Training Awareness Month. Ladies, please remember to return the seat to the upright position. Lane Courtesy Month. If you can't do 80 or better, get the hell out of the way. World Naked Bike Ride Month. Please check the weather forecast this…
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What Day Is It?
National Save Your Hearing Day. Start by turning down the volume in your car so you can hear how bad you sing along. Nah. National Speak in Complete Sentences Day. Impossible for millenials. What You Think Upon Grows Day. Bald guys, how's that workin' for ya? National Macaroon Day. Good cookie, terrible dunkable. National…
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What Day is It?
International Hug Your Cat Day. You will need your Sticky Lint Roller, Evercare Pet Mega Cleaning Roller, Grooming and Deshedding Glove, FUR-D Duo Fur Remover, KONG ZoomGroom, Pick It Up Mitt, and a clean surgical mask. National Mint Julep Day. Which came first, the Derby or the Julep? Who cares? It's an excuse to drink.…
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What Day Is It?
Learn About Composting Day. Things to leave out of your pile: Poop, Grannie's ashes, Blood stained clothing, Human legs, arms, torsos, or heads, Booze bottles, and ammo casings. International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers. That's working well... nowhere. National Coq Au Vin Day. How do those French rascals get the…
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What Day Is It?
“The freedoms we enjoy, the freedoms we take so much for granted, the freedoms we so often trifle with were bought not by the gold of our millionaires, nor altogether the genius of our scientists, nor the sacrifices of the people at home, but primarily by the blood, sweat and agony of those whose names on this day we…
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What Day Is It?
Don't Fry Day. Do not tan, seek shade, wear sun-protective clothing, generously apply sunscreen to every inch of your body that has ever seen the sun, use extra caution near water, snow, sand, concrete, black top, grass, dirt, or polyester, close your curtains and shut your blinds because the sun is evil and will kill you.…
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What Day Is It?
National Brother's Day. It's one day a year. You have to. Mom won't believe you anyway. National Escargot Day. Only the French would look at a thing leaving a trail of slime and think " That looks delicious. I will cook that disgusting thing, discard that shell and I will eat whatever is left." International Tiara Day. So…
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What Day Is It?
World Turtle Day. If that race had been with a hare and a turtle, the rabbit would drowned and been eaten by an eel. World Orienting Day. OK, everyone Chinese take out for all three meals. National Lucky Penny Day. You spy a penny in the crosswalk that someone lost. You know if you pick it up and save it for the rest of…
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What Day Is It?
International Day for Biological Diversity. Because some people don't understand that turkeys are not cows or pigs and, therefor, cannot become burgers or bacon in their afterlives. National Maritime Day. Don't forget at 2:00 PM GMT set your clocks to coincide with tomorrow's GPS coordinates 51.4826° N, 0.0077° W... or…
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What Day Is It?
This week is: National Heritage Breeds Week. This week we cannot allow unmatched types of animals, insects, fish, or humans with any differences to intermingle their precious bodily fluids. https://youtu.be/N1KvgtEnABY National New Friends, Old Friends Week. If new friends and old friends intermingle, will they leave you…
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What Day Is It?
I Love Reese's Day. 90 years of the bacon of candy. International Virtual Assistants Day. They receive virtual paychecks and virtual benefits from their virtual bosses virtually every Friday. National Cheese Souffle Day. Sissy food. If any guy reading this has ever even thought about ordering one in a restaurant, turn in…
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What Day Is It?
World Telecommunication Day. Today it's OK to use your cell phone and text while driving, but only if you are adept at steering with your knees. National Cherry Cobbler Day. Why did "they" name a pie with no bottom crust after a drink and a guy who makes shoes? National Walnut Day. Even a redneck can't crush 181 walnuts…
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What Day Is It?
Love a Tree Day. I guess there are advantages. They can't say "are you really wearing that?" and their in-laws are poplar. National Piercing Day. Really people. Ear lobes, navel and maybe nose are OK, but then just stop. National Mimosa Day. I'll have mine straight up. Hold the juice. Substitute Tequila for the carbonated…
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What Day Is It?
National Nylon Stockings Day. So much sexier than hirsuit stockings. Dinosaur Day. Let's see if this works out better than the last 65,000,000 parties. International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day. Last year I learned to check her pocket before giving her a bath. National Chocolate Chip Day. If you own a pet rabbit, make…
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What Day Is It?
This week is American Craft Beer Week Seven of the most sacred and holiest days of the year. National Vegetarian Awareness Week. We should thank them for saving meat for us normal people. National Bike to Work Week. It's going to rain for half the week. So good luck with your baseball game poncho on your Schwinn.…
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What Day Is It?
Friday
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What Day Is It?
Confederate Memorial Day. The ultimate un-PC holiday. Makes me wonder which slave owner statues (not in National Statuary Hall) will come down today. What is the word for Liberal Bigot? National Shrimp Day. This is THE day for all of you Jumbo short people. National Clean Up Your Room Day. Are you that 40 year old virgin…
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What Day Is It?
National Moscato Day. Wimpy cocktail hour choice of book clubbers. National Night Shift Workers Day. Most will sleep right through it. National Receptionists Day. https://youtu.be/sJIh70IZua8 National Bike to School Day. https://youtu.be/KWHiVoZY6ik National Lost Sock Memorial Day. Am I the only one who saves the orphan in…
