-
Important Bulletin!
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with others. Due to complaints received from some who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the…
-
Insanity
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your…
-
Bless Your Heart
Have you ever noticed that you get away with saying almost anything if you tack on "Bless Your Heart" to the end of it? !@#$% you $%^ little $%^....bless your heart :flowerforyou:
-
Whiskey...Tango...Foxtrot
-
Neighbors From Hades
May the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch. I used this one yesterday in regards to someone else but it bears repeating. :explode: :explode: :explode:
-
Ear Worms
You know...those songs that stick on your brain like a fungus? Thanks to the narwhal/unicorn debate, I now have the narwhal song stuck in my head. Not even "Cotton Eye Joe" can eradicate this one... What's your favorite ear worm?
-
Cranial-Rectal Inversion
What is it about snow on the roads that causes this to happen instantaneously?
-
Reading With Your Kids
Does anyone else enjoy this as much as I do? I love reading with my kids...I love making them laugh by using funny voices for the characters. But I really love listening to them...especially my son (age 7) who's hearing impaired. Tonight, he was sounding out just about all of the words he didn't know. And his big sister…
-
How Manly Is Your Drink?
Well guys...where do you rank?
-
A Sense of Humor
Apparently some people were busy having a stick implanted somewhere the day these were handed out...just sayin'...
-
Think You Know Everything?
Here are some random & utterly useless facts I thought I'd share :flowerforyou: 1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. 2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. 3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. 4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. 5. The shark is the only fish that…
-
WHY?!?!?!?!
Why is there Braille on Drive-up ATMs? If you need Braille, you shouldn’t be driving… Why, Why, Whydo we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke? Why is it that when someone tells you that there…
-
Jeff Dunham
I think he's hilarious and would love to see him live...but is he worth dropping $70 a piece for tickets??
-
Men...I Need Your Help!
If I apologize for the "BOOBIES" thread, can I get a little help? :bigsmile: I'm looking to buy a new car this year...so how can I, as a single woman, do this without getting hosed? Last time around I got saddled with my current hoopty. How can I get treated fairly because it seems that women get taken to the cleaners by…
-
I TAKE OFFENSE!!!
To the fact "The Offensive Post" offended someone who took their offense to the higher ups and reported the offender for offensive offenses.
-
Injury Help
I jacked up my right calf; it's really only sore on one side, though which seems kinda weird. Did you ever get one of those cramps where it feels like your calf muscle got cut in half? And then how sore it feels when the cramp finally goes away? That's what it feels like; but no cramp to cause it. Damn thing hurts like…
-
BOOBIES!!!!
MADE YOU LOOK!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!! :laugh:
-
Big Brother
I have 5...I had 6; but one of them passed away a few years ago...how many do you have?
-
Politics
* The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII * We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop * If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these campaign speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~ Will Rogers * Those who are too smart to…
-
How Bout Them Cowboys!!!
The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas . For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them. Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Dallas Cowboys Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and…
-
How Bout Some REAL Cowboys! ;)
-
Phoebe Cates vs. Volleyball
In keeping with the 80's theme...which scene do you like best... Phoebe Cates topless in Fast Times or the volleyball scene from Top Gun I think I know how this will go, but hey...LOL! :bigsmile:
-
Best 80's Movies
Ok...so Top Gun just started and got me thinking...what is your favorite movie from the 80's??? Just to name a few: Top Gun The Goonies Die Hard Big And begin...
-
Phoebe Cates vs. Volleyball
Double post...bah!!!! Stupid phone!!! :mad: :angry: :explode:
-
Not the Face!
-
Female Logic
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for…
-
High Heels
Death to the misogynistic *kitten* who invented these torture devices!!!!!!! Why can't they make us look dead sexy AND be comfortable?!?! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
-
What Are You?
-
Little Help Here!!
Will someone please explain to me why some people feel the need to suck every ounce of fun out of the "Chit-chat, FUN, and games" section of MFP?? :grumble:
-
Excuse Me!
Your argument is now invalid.
