The New Water Cooler
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Exciting about your new bike - you sound really happy about it.
Warmer temps for some of this week and for those who bike, they are out in it!
Florida is soon isn't it? I bet you can't wait.
Caleb hasn't heard anything since the interview, but I honestly don't think they will announce anything until the honors night in May. A few that we done outside of the foundation (an American Legion one, a Cornerstone Bank, a few others) should be announced separately, but I'm guessing they don't tell you if you don't get it. I don't really know, Zach didn't do any scholarship applications aside from the one he got through the school. It sure would be helpful to get a few of these for Caleb and to give him a boost. I know he is feeling down, the friend stuff, losing his trips including our family trip. A lot of disappointments again.
Yesterday was a better day for B. He got two calls. One is the one he/we are most interested and excited in. Vishay will be a big stress/panel interview Friday and BD today. Vishay (electronic applications) it would be a different environment, they seem stable with many contracts that go out for twenty or more years. Plus they claim they stick to 40 hours. Of course you know BD make syringes (among other medical devices) and will very stable and growing like mad, they work their people to death and balance is not a point of their culture. We'll see what happens. Gotta get through the interviews and that will be a challenge. It's always hard to get past being termed. Trying to keep being sunshine and positivity going. Gotta be everything for everyone. Things always seem to blow up when I get selfish and try to get people to take over some of the load.
Enjoy your better weather!0 -
Good news about Bernie's interviews. Does he do well interviewing? How old is he now? I always wonder about age discrimination, hiring younger to pay less, etc. I hope that is not the case. Fingers crossed for C to get some money. Did he decide on a college? Freshman in the Fall right?
My leg is stiff and hurting this week. It's a beautiful day so I may try to walk on the road in my boots (pretty muddy) but I should get moving.
Right now I'm lazy in the recliner. I went to the chiropractor and to Traverse City to do errands this morning. I walked all over Target getting what I needed and then some.
Bike paths and roads aren't ready for riding here, yet. Too much snow, grit and sand to be safe for me.
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Bernie is 48 (49 in Aug). So he is definitely probably getting to that age where people are like, hmmm... how many more years you gonna work? Is it worth it for us to put time getting you up to speed on our place/thing? Hmmm.... you made how much?
Oy, my weight. I don't even feel like I have been super crazy with over-eating (not that I haven't wanted to), but haven't done any take out since this so it's not like I've been having ice cream and french fries everynight - but weight it acting like it.
Meh.
Friyay.0 -
Unfortunately, the older women get it can be easier to gain weight without changing your eating habits and harder to lose. Welcome to menopause...
I've tried the intermittent fasting plan 3 times in the last 2 years. I don't think my body responds to it. I'm better off eating two meals per day, exercising and not over doing the fatty and sugar foods.
I hope Bernie finds something soon. I'm not sure men handle not working or rejection too well.
I zoomed with retirees this morning, went to the gym, read my book and went out to dinner with Russ. It's raining and gray here but snow is disappearing. We will get more snow but it won't stick around if temps stay up in the 40's and 50's most days.
I hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend planned.0 -
I slept in because I wake in the night and can't get back to sleep. Eventually it happens but then I sleep past 8:30. This is new in the past months. Friends and sisters that are older than me (women) all report this happens nightly to them. My sisters often wake up at 4am or earlier and then just get up because they are just lying there. I sleep issues must be hormonal or older age. Russ is reporting he is having the same problem.
Raining again but snow is depleting. The snow plow banks are only about 3-4 feet high now. There are very large patches of grass and the woods just have patches of snow. Yay! I really need to do some cleaning (vacuum, mop, dust, put some stuff away) this weekend. Russ will be gone all day tomorrow with some guys so maybe I will do a little today and a little tomorrow, then relax tomorrow.
My sister and I bought tickets for a Writer's Series event in Traverse City. Prior to Covid, they would bring in different authors, one per month I think, and then the author discusses their book, etc. Since Covid, the events have been virtual so we have not attended. Next Thursday is the first in person so we are going. The author is from the upper peninsula of MI and wrote a book called "Tin Can Road". We are going to dinner first and then to the event. I think we have to show our vaccination card to get in. I am taking my mask too. We bought seats on the end of the row but one never knows who is next to you.
I am attending the Bay Cinema Society I told you about last month when we saw Casablanca. This Wednesday is Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart. Russ does not want to see that one so I will go alone. I asked my sister but she is busy. I may ask a friend... Next Friday is the RV/Camper Show in Traverse City so we are going to that too. Busy week coming up!
Happy Saturday!
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I can see that happening to myself as well. Having a hard time falling asleep, sleeping for a bit and then awake and then falling asleep right before alarm. Boo! I also see some of my older family on Facebook being up posting in the middle of the night as well.
It sounds like you have a bunch of neat activities coming up. Can't wait to hear if you enjoy them!
Caleb is done with spring break and will go back to school tomorrow, he isn't thrilled, but I think he may only have one or two full weeks of school left with all his days of for competitions in the next few weeks. It's going to go so fast. He is going to interview to intern at Behlen this summer. I know he probably isn't thrilled, but with most of his fun stuff canceled, he can focus on making some cash and making a dent on his expenses. I mean working 40 to 50 hours a week is almost as good as going to Europe right?
I am trying not to become bitter, but it is swirling big time in my gut. I worked on my taxes again this weekend after doing Caleb's. (After spending the morning and afternoon on my hands and knees wiping down baseboards and then moping and putting down several layers of the polishing wood cleaner - not that you know who hasn't had time to do and today I can't move). But back to taxes, Bernie's family (his paternal grandfather deceased since 97) had many businesses and quite a fortune of his own. His step-grandmother (who was quite a bit younger) is still alive and doing a great job of going through all the money she can. Bernie's dad (also deceased for over 10 years already) left Bernie and full brother Mike his share of the family Telecom business. (Now there is lots of other drama that involves shady business dealings and lawyers throwing wills away and half siblings getting insurance policies and cash and me getting bills). So basically lots of mess. Anyway, this business that was passed from John (Bernie's dad) to Bernie and Mike when he died gave Bernie a very small monthly check for a couple of years (like $50 to $100) and then started showing only losses for at least the last five years so no payouts. Of course I knew the years he had gotten anything I would have to be prepared when the K-1 came and it was never anything so much that it affected my taxes, and of course the losses (strange how the business can still run losing so much money) didn't affect my taxes either. But this year the K-1 shows I have to report $6000. Huh. I go verify with bernie if he had received any payouts. Nope. Huh again, I told him his family just cost us another $800 in taxes. They F&**&ed me again. That's all I have gotten out of being married to him. Bills and insults and b.s. Such a bunch of criminals. Then I have to start going through the check book putting in the payments for the house payment, the first truck payment, credit cards, etc. I'm just unhappy. Oh, and bernie had gotten word from the dealer last week that the truck bed topper he had purchased was in and to come get it installed. I'm like, I didn't know you ordered one. Bernie didn't think he had either. But they said he had and so he goes gets it on and then he tells me, that they were wrong and he hadn't originally paid for it, so it's an additional charge. $600. I laugh and tell him to take it back. They lied and we didn't order it. Bernie's like, well I'm not happy they lied, but I was going to get one someday. My jaw drops and I just walk away and go cry in my bathroom. I can't say anything to him, because if I stress him out he'll just shut down. I just don't know how long I can keep this up. I know he is working on the job hunt, but how can he do that to me. How can he not see the pressure he is putting on me. I've lost any chance of taking the boys to Hawaii. Once again, I've given up everything to keep things going. I know Bernie didn't make this choice, but he has lost a lot of jobs. His choices must have had something to do with it. Even if it was just political. Like I said. The bitterness is eating me up.0 -
I'm so sorry you are feeling so much stress and have to deal with family *kitten* from in laws. Does B's family view you as well off so costs are directed your way or is it just because B still has a stake in his Dad's company that doesn't pay off? I wish I could sit and drink wine with you and give you a hug. Hugs from afar for now.
Did you sign up for a therapist? None of my business, but you may really benefit from being able to unload some of this to a neutral party that can help you see that you don't have to carry the load of everyone else. I don't mind you telling me but I'm not a professional, just have first hand experience. My first thought when I read your post is that you are taking responsibility for Bernie's situation and feelings and have been doing so for a long time. You can't change him, only yourself. We have no control over anyone but us, how we react, our emotions, our actions.... When I went through therapy after my first husband and I split up, they pointed this out to me. I was instructed to take care of myself first, the kids would benefit from that, and my husband could choose to follow me and make his own changes, or not. You are a very strong woman with a strong work ethic, common sense, lots of love to give others, and have several dreams (Hawaii,...). You have what it takes to make yourself happy and not always put others first. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. You can also speak up to B and say what you need to. How he reacts is his choice and no reflection on you. Men often twist what we say or misinterpret our message to put blame on us. Don't accept that unless you really share some of the blame. He knows inside himself what his short comings are, but doesn't have the desire or maybe the energy to make changes. I'm sure growing up in his family did some damage to his self-esteem and his confidence to be successful, in addition to how to be a good husband. I'm not pushing you to divorce, I'm just saying what I was told so many years ago. I always took care of my first husband Don's feelings and soaked up the cutting remarks and blame he projected to me. Once I stopped accepting his remarks and began to stand up for myself, I felt better but he didn't like it at all. However, once he saw he couldn't manipulate me and my feelings, he backed off.
I took a walk with Charlie this morning. Russ went to the grocery in Traverse City so Charlie and I walked on our road down to the corn field. I used my hiking poles for balance and made it there in back. The walk back was slow and hard. My lower back felt tight and my arthritis is not good this past week. We have rain coming this evening and it is expected to stick around the next few days. Snow should be gone by the end of the week if that is true. We will get more snow in to April, I'm sure.
Well I didn't mean to be preachy but I care about how you are doing. Hang in there!
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Looks like MFP changed my swear word to kitten...Funny!0
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Thank you for being a safe place to vent. I truly appreciate your time and remarks. You aren't being preachy. It was good to hear and a good reminder. I know I should get back into therapy, but I do get tired of feeling like I am doing all the work. I have figure out how to not feel/act like I have to be responsible for Bernie's emotions. Which I totally do. I have been the emotional load bearer for nearly 30 years and when I try to even it out, something always blows up and I generally feel too responsible to not pick it all back up.
And Bernie's family - frankly everything with them I think it punishment for him being/staying with me and not knuckling under to their desires. I have fought their rule also for nearly 30 years keeping us independent and they still find ways to bring me to my knees.
Isn't it funny that MFP changes swear words to kitten?
We got some rain finally yesterday and today it's snow? Nebraska.
Is your sister feeling better after getting her stone(s) blasted? I hope so.
My sister's blood pressure was elevated yesterday and after having the nurse at work take it a few times, she actually made a doctors appt. The appt (PA) said it was probably just a response to her intense headache. I'm not sure. She had been off for over a week, but at least it was down last night. I advised her to start tracking it. Mine went up and stayed up a number of years ago after an odd viral sickness. So, just because it was always fine, doesn't mean it can't change.
If it's possible to have an amazing friendship with someone you've never met - I feel that way!!!
Thanks!!0 -
It is amazing we have been on MFP for 11-12 years chatting and sharing our joys and trials. I also feel you are a friend even though we have never met and we are in different phases of life.
I get it that being the only one doing therapy makes you feel like you are doing all the work. Maybe reframe the mind set to "you are getting therapy to work on you so you can become happier as a person" and not to fix or keep your marriage together. Your marriage will take its own course depending on what you change with therapy. Scary, I'm sure.
You and Bernie are living within a dysfunctional family (his) so that is a challenge. All families have dysfunction, some more than others. My childhood family certainly did although I didn't realize it until I was an adult. A therapist may also help you navigate that and your role in handling all the stuff that gets thrown on you. Bernie is immersed and may not realize the dysfunction because he grew up in it. One thing I remember from therapy that is powerful...when a person (you) begins to change their role in the family system, others' behavior may get worse because they try to hang on to their "normal". You have to stay strong and work on you regardless of the affect on those around you. They eventually back off if you hold to your positive changes.
Very dark and pouring rain today. It rained from late afternoon through evening yesterday and is suppose to rain tomorrow and Friday. I saw the weather forecast for next week and we may have a snow storm. We are suppose to drive out of here Wednesday morning next week so we will have to watch our departure date based on a storm if it is going to happen. Weather in the north mid west can really stink.
My sister is feeling better but has the second stent in so there is some pain. It comes out April 4th and then she is hopefully done with this and will feel good and normal. She may go to the matinee at the local theater today with me. It is part of that cinema society and they are showing Rear Window by Alfred Hitchcock at 2pm. My cousin is going to join us too. There will be a discussion afterwards.
Russ is making the cutest little wooden dinosaurs on wheels for Miles. They are push toys. He has been working on them daily in his wood shop. Each will be painted a different color. Cute bday present for Miles. He will be 1 at the end of next week. I'm glad he has something he loves to do that gives him joy. Biking is my joy but seasonal around here.
I was up a lot in the night due to drinking a lot of water yesterday. I feel groggy so am having my coffee and then need a long shower to get ready for the movie later. Russ has an ultra sound today to look at his abdomen and stomach area. He has had some pains the doctor wants to check out. X-ray didn't show anything. Hope it is nothing.
Have a good day!0 -
I hope Russ's appointment goes well.
That is so neat he is making Miles a special toy. How special.
How was the movie trip? Did your sister make it. Sounds like a good day.
Bird flu is hammering poultry in Nebraska. They had to take out a half million birds the other day. I think our hope to have chicken for graduation is flying away. I don't think the cost will be reasonable for the next while. Groceries are expensive enough, like we need more financial hits.0 -
Bird flu is back? Where have I been? Do you have a plan B for food at the party? Walking tacos is always a hit or huge sub sandwiches cut into 2" pieces. Sloppy Joes, make your own taco bar, waffle/pancake bar, ...
The movie was very good but I didn't realize my oldest sister is one of those people that talks out loud during a movie making comments on characters, asking questions, and giving commentary throughout the whole thing. One of my pet peeves! My cousin was sitting next to her and tried to ignore her and not respond. She also fell asleep briefly during the movie. During the discussion afterwards, I couldn't hear people's comments because Lynn was talking to Polly. I won't be inviting her again in April. If she remembers and brings up the date, so be it. I would rather go alone than deal with that. When at her house in past years, visiting, I couldn't watch the news or shows because she would narrate the show herself or talk through out. What the ___?
Tomorrow I go to dinner with my other sister and her friend, Janet, and then to the Writer's Series of the upper peninsula author I mentioned a couple of days ago. Hopefully they don't talk through that. I like to listen, not comment until after. It is so rude in my opinion.
Still raining and gray here, but no bird flu that I'm aware of.0 -
Man - now I want pancakes!
Bernie has a bunch of interviews scheduled and did get a job offer from Vishay today. So that's a relief! Also now to figure out do you move on any of the interviews or just cancel them all? You don't want to burn bridges and the job at NPPD (Nebraska Public Power) which is an interview next week could be a great one.0 -
Well that is a good dilemna for Bernie to be in, an offer and more interviews. Stressful to figure out what to do though. Does he want to work for Vishay? If not, waiting is probably best so he ends up happier and less unsettled in the long run. It's a gamble though.
The Writer's Series evening was very nice. We went for a wonderful dinner at a restaurant I had never been to. Russ and I will go there together. Wonderful food and service. The event was interesting and I liked hearing what the author had to say about her characters in her book. When I read the book, it will give me her perspective when writing it.
This morning I zoom with the retirees and then Russ and I are going to the RV show in Traverse City this afternoon. Something fun to do and see what kind of RV's are out there in this part of the country.
The sun is shining which is a first this week so it's going to be a good day.
TGIF!0 -
the wind is just HOWLING for like the fourth day in a row.
I am happy that Bernie is pleased to be in this 'stage' of the job hunt but he is literally killing me. Two weeks ago all I heard about was that even if got an offer from BD (needles, medical supplies) he would only take it if it was the only one. How he really wanted Vishay. Yesterday, all I am hearing is BD rah-rah and how can he not work there. I am trying to talk to him about taking a deep breath and focusing on what is really important big picture. How he had talked about wanting security, less stress, less pressure, long term work balance. If that's changed, fine, but he needs to bring down a few hundred levels. I know it's a relief. Trust me I know. But again, I am feeling like I am only one trying to manage the big picture. I mean he blew off an interview at a great place in Lincoln. I reminded him he can't burn bridges. If you choose to cancel do it in a careful and professional way. Why do I always feel like the only adult!
I sent him up to Wayne to see Zach and take him out to lunch. Hopefully the trip will give him time to reflect and settle down. It will be good for the boys to have a little time together too. I'm sure he'll stop by my folks and get his fix of them fawning over him too for even more ego boosting. Plus - he'll be out of my hair for a few hours.
Caleb had his interview for a summer intern job at Behlen this week. I was surprised and unhappy that they did a six-person panel pressure interview. For a 17 year old summer intern. He handled it because he is an awesome kid, but they never used to treat interns like fish on a grill. You want them to feel wanted. That new IT CIO is something else. So many changes at Behlen with Phil's passing and frankly none of them are great. But, I am stuck. I
TGIF for sure.
What a weird week.0 -
I hope Bernie isn't going to sabotage himself by skipping interviews, not getting back to companies and being so undecided. A person either feels like the job is something they want or not. I'm sure you are stressed out. Men have such a different perspective on things compared to women and they don't want to be told their wrong. Such egos!
The RV show was small but we did see one camper we liked. If we decided to change our camper in the future we may take a look at that model and different floor plans. We went out for a mid day meal, Mexican, and that was our dinner. We took Charlie for a walk on our upper acreage while it is still sunny and blue skies. Tonight the weather is changing to 35 mph gusts and snow. Ugh!
Do you have any interesting plans this weekend? I need to start making a list for FL and packing.0 -
Caleb and Bernie are spending the morning in Lincoln at an "admitted students day" for UNL incoming freshmen. I am hoping they have a nice time and get some 'boys' time. I am working some more on taxes (hopefully) and getting some google forms filled out for Caleb for senior stuff. One of them is giving me fits! Schools have really moved to only google docs and while I understand the ease of sharing, etc but they are so unfriendly to adjust - for me anyway everything keeps shifting around when I try to fill in. Or I am doing it wrong.
I had a migraine yesterday and while I am currently feeling better, but still wonky.
I really feel anxious that I should be doing more graduation stuff, but also it's a little too early to really be doing stuff.
Bernie said Zach has two papers due today, so I want to check in with him later and see how he is doing. And, that he also had his advisor meeting yesterday and still looks to be on track to be done next spring. Two semesters!! Yikes.0 -
UNL is a great school. Rory loved it there but had to go to UND to get the army scholarship offered to him. He ended up not going ROTC so I wonder if he has regrets he didn't go to UNL? He's on a whole different track now with journeyman electrician anyway.
Z must be done in another 5-6 weeks? 3 years under his belt, right? Wow!
Snowing and cold here once again. Bad weather with freezing rain arriving in MI and Ohio this week starting Wed so we are going to leave Tuesday morning and try to get ahead of it. I'm doing laundry today, making my packing and to do list and should be ready by Monday eve. Long drive ahead but we are heading down eastern side of U.S. instead of I-75 so we can see different terrain.
I'm downloading books onto my tablet so I have plenty of reading material.0 -
Has Rory's winter lay off ended? Our trades are so busy around here.
I think that first week of May is when finals are. So many things will be whipping by and it will go so fast.
I hope you don't have any weather/travel issues. Are you driving all the way to Florida?
Not ready for another week to start.0 -
Rory is back at work at a family owned electrician's company. He's getting commercial experience in downtown Mpls. He was off about 3-4 weeks and is glad to be working again. Today is his 27th birthday! So hard to believe how fast time has gone by.
We are driving to FL and leaving tomorrow which was a good decision. Freezing rain and ice are expected to accumulate on Wednesday and Thursday. Tomorrow is the best driving day of the week. What the ___! It is snowing outside now and hasn't stopped in two days. We hope to make it past Columbus, Ohio or into West Virginia tomorrow. We should arrive in St. Augustine on Thursday if we don't have any problems.
Is Z doing an internship at Behlen? C too? How are Bernie's interviews going?
Well I'm off to the city to buy Jeff and Karah a local cherry pie and to get the inside of my car cleaned for the trip. I have to make decisions on what clothes to take and get in my suit case this afternoon. I'm taking my computer so will check in periodically while away.
Have a good week.0
