The New Water Cooler
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that's awesome that Russ has found a place to make some cash, but they are working with his schedule. As the economy turns its getting harder to find that. Flexibility is definitely moving out of this place.
I know I just have to step back from the stuff with Zach. He is obviously welcome to come home after school, I'm not about to cut him off, I just don't want him to miss good job opportunities because he is 'thinking' about it. Or to take something that doesn't make sense because it was the only place he applied to. He has my type of personality, where I know it can be overwhelming to put yourself out there, or you think you have to have every qualification listed, or whatever. I have to find that faith in him again. He really shook it with lying thing getting brought back to my forefront. Heck even this week. He tells me Saturday he is going to scoop the litterbox. I'm like ok (I didn't ask him to). Yesterday as I am back downstairs again for my walk and scooping the litterbox that he hasn't done at all - I walk back upstairs mad. I confront him, why would you state you are going to do it then not do it. Oh I forgot. Then don't tell me you're doing it. And p.s. you walk by it multiple times a day since it's right by your room. Or on Sunday night he asks me if I am taking vacation days this week since he is home. That just made me feel bad because HEY I took multiple days off over their Christmas break and nobody wanted anything to do with me. I couldn't even get them to go to the cousin Christmas with me. So, yeah - I guess I was supposed to be cool being ignored over Christmas and now a bad mom for not being around this week. Awesome. Ugh. Feelings. Mine are so sensitive and they are so oblivious.0 -
Relationships with adult kids can be challenging. My boys don't share much with me nor do they initiate talking to me that much. They are caught up in their own lives. I need to reach out soon so at least I have initiated with them. I haven't talked to David since our argument in FL where he totally misconstrued my comments about parenting. I wonder if they are going to MX but doing their own thing. I'm not surprised Chantrelle canceled if she couldn't count on David being able to go, but if he is able to, I wouldn't be surprised if they went to the wedding.
I am kind of relieved to not be traveling to MX this month anyway. Jeff and I communicate more frequently than the other two. It was the opposite when he was young.
We have had some beautiful sunny days but snow is arriving tomorrow again. Charlie and I have been walking for about 30 minutes per day. My hip ached in the night so I didn't go to aqua fit this morning. I'm not sure if it aches from the walking or not having been to class for 7 weeks. I am going tomorrow if roads are good and I will figure it out.
I made the WW 0 point soup today. It will give me my veggie servings for the day if I eat it for lunch every day. I have lost the weight I gained on vacation and anything moving forward is progress. I also froze some bananas to make a low point banana ice cream or smoothie as a treat. No motivation for dinner since I cooked earlier today. We are having popcorn, fruit, cheese and crackers, nuts...a snack tray.
Thursday!! Almost done with another work week for you.
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Did you decide to not go to MX anymore? I think I missed that.
Had a good hair appointment and Zach had his haircut finally yesterday too and Tammy said she had the most wonderful conversation with him.
I am working on staying in my points every day - most strictly during the week because the weekends I want to eat more. Usually I just end up eating back what I lost/lose during the week. But overall I am still down from when I re-started. Around 10 pounds for over four months. It's not great, but my pants fit better and if I can just keep after it, it will continue to add up. Day by day.
Friyay eve.
I wonder if Caleb will be home tomorrow.0 -
I figure slower loss is better. Incorporate your/my eating/points as a lifestyle and be patient. I am a slow loser so if I've lost 10 pounds by the end of March I consider it a win. I have lost 23 pounds since I retired over the last 2.5 years just by cutting out fast food, getting my knee fixed and becoming more active. Now eating within my points will jump start more loss. We can do this!
I went to aqua fit this morning. There was a sub and she was good. She was also funny so we laughed a lot too which always feels good. I went to Walgreens and bought my cousin cough syrup and cough drops to deliver to her home. She has macular degeneration and can no longer drive her car. We visited for 1.5 hours wearing masks so I didn't catch her cold, which my sister Becky gave her when she returned from her trip last week and stayed the night at Polly's house.
Polly is going to join me at aqua fit next Wednesday and water yoga on Friday. Since she can't drive I asked if she wanted to go with me. She use to attend when she could drive herself.
Chantrelle canceled the Mexico trip after flying with the kids from AK to FL and back. They had at least 3 connections and would also have that many from AK to Cabo. She decided she couldn't do it alone and there is a possibility David won't be accompanying her if a job comes up with Sub Com and he is shipped across the world. I was not surprised she canceled because two trips so close together with little ones would be tough. Halen is a handful and keeping track of her in an airport would be challenging if there weren't two adults. Also, David and I had an argument their last night in FL and he accused me of saying they are bad parents. I did not say that at all. I made a generic statement that each generation parents differently and used examples of my style and how they allow Halen more freedom to climb, etc. I parented differently than my parents and they will parent differently than us. New research, methods, lifestyle all play a part. He doesn't listen and assumes he knows what you are saying and interprets and twists the speaker's words. Very frustrating! They may have canceled just me but are still going, not sure. Chantrelle told me she was canceling our airbnb the last day she could get a full refund. Unless they go
last minute, the trip is probably canceled for them too.
We never got the snow. 40 degrees today and sunny. Yay!!0 -
I remember reading about David's unhappiness/argument about parenting, didn't remember that Chantrelle had canceled. I get it though. I would have been a basket case trying to manage two little ones for all those traveling hours. Doesn't sound fun at all.
Ugh, gross. There are at least four people with hacking gross coughs in the somewhat near vicinity (wow, I can't spell that word without spellcheck). Yuck.
I think I would like to see Caleb this weekend before Zach heads back. Maybe we could manage a fun night. I'm sure he will need to decompress, his classes are a lot.
Trying to get Zach to give input on where to go for a graduation dinner celebration after the ceremony. Wayne is really limited (super small town), but I suggested we are fine going to the Max since it is his favorite, or we can go to a nicer place in Norfolk (named some options). He gave me the I'll think about it. Meaning he won't. My folks and sister are ready for me to tell them what the plan is. I can't!
I ordered the invitations for Caitlin's (my niece) bridal shower finally. Asked Bernie if he would make her a recipe box, he told me to just order one. Whatever, sorry I tried - again. Trying to figure out a pretty photo backdrop. I have seen ones that say things like, "Miss to Mrs", or their initals "C&C". Don't want to spend a fortune, but that age group love a photo op. Or if I could make something in her colors - navy and dusty rose. I'm just NOT crafty. Funny serendipity - her colors are a mix of mine and her moms. I was navy and burgundy and her mom was pink. Things comes back around.
Oh yay, Friyay.0 -
When is Z's last day of school? Graduation date? If he doesn't choose, just make a reservation at the nicest or favorite and tell him family wants to honor his accomplishment. He may be self conscious about the attention on himself and you may have to make the plans.
Is C coming home for his break this weekend and staying through it? I hope they over lap so you get your son time.
When is the bridal shower? Are you going to have guests bring a favorite recipe on a card? Back in the 80's they did that for me and I still use some of those recipes and pull them from my recipe box.
I went to water yoga today. The water and air felt a little chilly to all of us. I sat in the hot tub afterward for awhile. We all did!
My birthday is tomorrow. No birthday plans made by Russ of course but we are going to friends for dinner (they don't know it is my birthday). I told Russ he could make me a cake since I made him one. I had to request it of course. He use to be so good about special days early on in our dating and marriage. No effort now...I have to say what I want.
I hope your weekend is relaxing and you get time with the boys.0 -
I hope you got cake!!!!!!
Caleb did make it home today, barely. His car wouldn’t start so Bernie ran down to Lincoln to jump him. Caleb has AAA courtesy of me but his new card was here. And he didn’t realize what AAA is for apparently. 😳. Anyway it worked out. He is exhausted. His physics class is terrible and he doesn’t think he has any chance of passing apparently. He is meeting with an advisor next week about dropping physics and changing Tia software major that wouldn’t require it. I hope that works out for him. College is hard but it shouldn’t be impossible. I hope he figures it out. It should also be fun and I’m sure he is having any. Hes said he hadn’t slept since Monday. Not good.
Zach leaves tomorrow. Less than eight weeks to graduation. May 7 I think.
I had some Moscato tonight. Hoping I don’t end up with a headache
Cake!!!!0 -
Russ' first attempt at making a cake, hmmm. He used a boxed German Chocolate Cake Mix and it came out dry. Not sure what he did to it. He had to make the frosting from scratch because it is hard to find uncommon canned frostings around here. I love German Chocolate Coconut frosting but this one was barely sweet. A for effort but definitely not the best cake I've had. We ate at our farmer friends house last night. Comfort food for sure. We had homemade meatballs with bbq sauce, cheese potatos and salad. Dessert was angel food cake with cherry topping. They gave us a Euchre lesson. Russ didn't grow up playing Euchre and I have to have a new lesson every time I play because there are so many years in between. We played open handed so Steve could coach us through each hand.
We got up early this morning and drove to a town south of here to buy goat fencing panels for our deck railing. Last year Russ did not buy when he saw them in stock and they sold out and were never available again. We will have the 4" metal grid built in to wood framed panels and then wood posts and top rail. Less maintenance on the deck railing since no wood spindles. We have to look at some designs and then Russ will build. First spring project outside, hopefully. I am going to choose some long curtain panels and short rods for our guest room. I have bamboo shades on the windows but they let light through. I want to put up the panels so a guest can pull the drape across the window for darkness. No need for privacy out here because no one can see in and no one is there either. I don't want drapes in our room because we like to see the moon and stars or animals walking through the yard. We pull the shades down to filter light but don't need total darkness.
I volunteer today at the theater. They have an Irish band doing a concert and I will be working concessions/beer/wine sales. Prior to leaving for FL, I volunteered 3 Sundays per month. Now I am thinking I will continue through May and then drop down to 1-2 Sundays per month. I would rather give my volunteer hours to the book non profit. I'm hoping that starts up again for me this week or next.
So did I understand that C is changing his major? Nothing wrong with that if he is. As a person gets into classes they can discover that their focus needs to change or they develop different preferences. I hope you get some quality time with him. Graduation is coming up fast for Z! Will both boys be home for the summer?0 -
I meant to type that Caleb is going to talk to an advisor about changing majors to software. Then he wouldn’t have to take physics which he believes he has no chance of passing. I don’t care what he majors in. I just don’t want him to quit.
Bernie’s favorite is German chocolate too. That’s what I did for the grooms cake. It had like an Elmer Fudd hunter on it and said yup hunting seasons over
BS with his stupid family stuff. The K-1 finally arrived showing over 17000 of partner distribution. Which we had not received any money but now have to pay taxes on that. It’s almost 3000. I tell Bernie again I need a professional to help with the taxes. It’s too confusing for me with this messed up family stuff and he just ignores me0 -
Can't you just hire a professional since you are the one that does the taxes and need help? Let him moan and groan but what is he gonna do anyway? Do what you need to do and he can live with it. It won't be that much money.
Good for C recognizing what he needs to do for himself. I agree with not wanting him to quit. Finding what he does want to do is a process and he is just a freshman. Nice to know by sophomore year so he can move forward and get into core classes which are always more meaningful and interesting if you find your fit.
I'm not understanding what his family stuff is. Something to do with inheritance or share in a business and you get money that affects your taxes?
Russ is finally preparing to modify our mudroom closet into a bench, hooks, and storage nook. I have wanted this since we moved in here and now it is happening. We have been designing what we want from pictures I have pinned on my house board on Pinterest. It is a big closet, about 6 ft across. The mudroom entrance is dark and the closet becomes a toss it in to put it somewhere. We will have an upper shelf with basket storage, hooks for seasonal coats, a bench to sit on to put on boots and shoes, and baskets underneath the bench for boot and shoe storage. We are going to put bead board on the walls and I will paint a light cream color. The shelf will be painted and any trim/molding. The bench is going to be oak with several coats of poly and there will be an oak trim piece to finish off the top shelf so they tie together. He took off the doors yesterday and I have been emptying the closet. Today I will clean the floor and baseboards and clear it of cobwebs. I haven't cleaned that closet since we moved in. He is going to have a woodwork company blue the oak boards together for the bench so it looks clean and professional. I will do the surface finish. We will also trim around the door frame where the door tracks were removed and tie it into the trim on outside of closet doors. It will really open up that dark entrance and be more functional for us. Next will be wall paper removal in that area and paint the walls on outside of closet. Bless his heart, he is going to remove the ugly light in the closet and install new, canned ceiling lights. I'm glad he has a background in electrical and wiring. It looks like winter will be here for another month so this is an inside project that won't take too long, to get done. Yay!
Sun is shining so it will be a nice day!0 -
well - Bernie's family and family business is so complicated. I don't even understand it all. Grandpa Bernie (yes, Bernie was named after 'big' Bernie) was a businessman. With many interests. He started in construction (Paden Construction) and moved into among other things telephone. The business did things like do the ground work to lay phone lines and then later fiber optics - that was more where Bernie's dad John was involved. He was more of a construction guy. The other brothers/uncles Dick and Bob ran Fremont telecom and Stanton telecom. All the brothers and Grandpa and Grandma Lee (second wife not the 'real' mom so younger) were/are on the boards of the business making decisions and earning money. Grandpa died back in 1997 and the first of the evil games started. First the will was 'lost' (and that man would never have not had an updated will - he was always very clear about that) and then the will that was found was super old - as in the majority of the grandchildren weren't even addressed. Lee took in the vast of majority of things (sure, spouse and all that, but she sold nearly everything including almost all the businesses that were to be family legacy). The only one not sold was the Stanton Telecom with the brothers and Lee still on the board. Doing things making money. Bernie's dad tells Bernie and Mike (only full brother - because that was a big thing for 'big' Bernie) that Bernie and Mike would take over John's spot on the board of Stanton because that was Grandpa's wish and John's wish etc to keep the legacy/business going. John dies pretty early already 12 years ago. John leaves large life insurance policies for his two children he raised (but not full Paden's again a big Bernie thing) and then 'leaves' Stanton for Mike and Bernie. Well the uncles and Lee refuse to put the boys on the board because they state they don't have to and the only thing they have seen are a few dollars here and there even they are names a general partners on the schedule k-1. Lee and the uncles state they aren't allow the 'normal' distributions (I still don't understand why) but we get to pay taxes on what they send as what the partners distributions are. Oh and Uncle Bob retired a couple of years ago and cousin Nick has taken over, and do you want to bet me that Nick is on the board along with his sister Bobbi. Bet me. The lot of them have done a great job getting the business to payout for them, cutting Bernie (and Mike) out and still sticking me with the bill. If I didn't have to keep paying for this nonsense it would be easier to get past.0
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So yeah, because John didn't protect Bernie (and Mike) they get nothing and the other two who are Kathy's kids from other marriages have been retired living off the cash policies John left them. It's ridiculous.0
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That's the other thing - there will be questions I can't answer (probably Bernie can't either) but that's honestly why I don't just do it on my own. He has to want to participate because it will likely involve talking more to them about info the accountant needs. I guarantee we will have to figure out what his basis is in the company, if he is at-risk, passive or non-passive. I'm pretty sure he is listed on the k1 as general partner, but I don't know that we ever got something with what his basis is. And I think that is where all the liability comes from. Or if he did get it he kept it secret.0
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Wowzer! What a bunch of greedy crooks. Does Bernie care and why doesn't he participate to figure this out? What about his brother? Have you ever consulted a lawyer on the situation to get disclosure and a clear picture of what is going on? Sounds very stressful for you! Bernie needs to become active in this or what would happen if you just handed it all off to him and said not your responsibility?
Hang in there...0 -
Yeah. That's how I feel too. It's always hard to try to get into this, because I often feel like it sounds like I am whining about not getting Bernie's 'fair share'. I really don't expect to get a free ride, but I just feel like he (so also me mostly) gets stuck with a lot of bills due to whatever the current shenanigans are. Oh, and most of the family are getting taken care of by the family money more so than Bernie ever did so it is kind of unfair. The lawyer thing, yes. Bernie and Mike tried to explore their own legal options when John first passed and the being barred from the board happened. But as with all of this, the uncles/Lee got their side to show paperwork that matched what they wanted. They suddenly magically had all these documents that just perfectly barred Bernie and Mike from joining the board and earning anything. It's hard to get a real clear disclosure because everyone is just looking out for their own interests and who even knows what the truth is at this point. Bernie does care a lot about being locked out of his own family business, but there really isn't anything we have been able to figure out legally to get him back in. While this also affected his brother Mike too, they in general have been taken care of by his wife's family so even they still have someone covering them financially. I'm not saying my folks wouldn't help me out if I needed it, but we've always been expected to cover ourselves. And as soon as I threw in with Bernie and his family basically cut him off I have been supporting him and often eating his FAMILY expenses because they just always seem to work out the worst for Bernie.
Berf
Caleb is making noises about going back to Lincoln today or tomorrow. It looks like weather might be moving in tomorrow so I guess I will have to encourage him to go today. He finally got a haircut yesterday and I can finally see his face again. My sweet Caleb face.0 -
Is C on break or was just home for the weekend? Nice you could spend some time together.
What is wrong with Bernie's family? Crazy!!
Russ and I went to Home Depot and bought most of the materials for our closet nook remodel. I still need to decide on paint color (choice of whites/neutrals) for the board and trim and stain color for oak boards.
I took my cousin to aqua fit class today at a different Y location. It's a much smaller Y but part of bigger system. I hadn't been in that building since it was a Community Center and I took swim lessons there when I was 13. Friendly class but very different from the ones I have attended at the Y closer to me.
Busy day and I am tired so going to relax and look some stuff up on the internet.0 -
Caleb left back for Lincoln to beat whatever the weather is bringing. Sniff. I took him to the store for snacks and water and bars. That hour was one of the best we have had in awhile. I sure hope he gets things figured out with school.0
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I always got teary saying good bye to the boys and still do. I'm glad you had that time together.
I am going to pack books for Power Books this afternoon. Kids going on spring break get a free book for their break. Not sure which school districts I am packing for today. This is my first day back since returning home from FL.
Tomorrow I need to purchase paint, match stain and start painting and staining trim pieces for our closet reno. Russ needs to repair closet ceiling so I can paint it. He also needs to find a suitable light that will fit. I think this project will take about a month, not days.
What are your weekend plans?0 -
Your reno project sounds like you have a good plan going. And, yeah, it probably will take longer than you think. It always does.
There is an icy covering out there now. It started raining after I got to work and then temp have dropped to 30. I'm not sure if it has converted to snow yet. Oh and the construction has our highway down to one lane each way (this is a hugely industrial area and so much truck traffic) I am already ramped up on the anxiety for the drive home. Just the construction makes me anxious because I just get so agitated. I wish I could be mellow and 'whatevs' about driving. But I just don't like driving. When I get in the car, I just need to get to where I'm going as quick as possible. So anything that interrupts that, weather, construction, etc just makes me unreasonable upset. Meh.
I think tonight is when Bernie got an appointment at the tax place. We'll see if he really did, and if the appointment gets canceled for weather. I'm not sure what to expect. I think I just want her/him to look at how I entered the k-1 for this year (I feel confident enough about the other stuff) and if I did then discuss what we would need to do about the other years returns because if I did this years right I'm pretty sure the last few haven't been. Or vice versa. And I feel stressed thinking about trying to explain something I really don't understand.
Ok - you get it. I feel stressed.
Plans - not die driving home. Not have a panic attack at tax place. Good plan.0 -
I am glad you get to talk to a tax person. Another opinion and someone more up to date on law is always a good thing. Good luck!
It rained yesterday evening here and temps are low 30's. I imagine my drive to Traverse City this morning will be interesting. I am going to Home Depot to get my paint and stain, check out baskets at Target, and then pick up my cousin for water yoga. I packed books for 2 hours yesterday and I was sore from all the standing and lifting when I got home yesterday. I laid in the recliner and took a nap. I am stiff today so yoga will feel wonderful.
Russ is picking out a light for the closet today and will fix light holes in closet ceiling so I can paint ceiling this weekend. Then he will install the light. I will paint the bead board when it is on the wall so I will need the light. I'll do the trim painting and shelving in the basement with my saw horses, tarp, etc. I do enjoy a project and love to see the end result.
I hope your drive home wasn't to bad. TGIF and enjoy your weekend.0
