The New Water Cooler
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Is Michele the manager of your dept and there has been no word about her replacement or what is going to change?
I went to Aquafit today. It felt good to move, I've been too sedentary knitting and reading. I haven't been eating healthy either. I don't feel good. Lots of fatigue due to too many carbs and inconsistent exercise.
It was 30 today and felt so warm. The snow is falling and melting at the same time.
PT tomorrow. I haven't been consistent with exercises since I've been so lazy. Bad me!
I hope your job isn't too miserable.0 -
Yes. Michele is (was) the Manufacturing Manager of Manufacturing Systems. There are eight of us in this team. We are 'centralized' in that the work we do supports all business units (Behlen Country, Behlen Buildings, Behlen Ag, Custom Fab). And no one from leadership has said a word to anyone in this team about our future. There hasn't been a job posting for her job (and even if there had been, that process will take weeks/months). I have no back up in two days and the business critical programs and processes I run will soon only reside on my computer. With no one else to run them.
Glad you got your Aquafit on.
It's finally about 30 here too and feels like a heat wave. It's still miserable driving since the snow melts a bit and then a fun (not) new ice layer forms.
So much for 2024 being a better year.0 -
Do the higher ups know that your computer will be the only one with that program? Who do you talk to about that? What do they do if you are out sick or taking PTO which is your right to do.
I had PT this morning and then came home. Three weeks until surgery. I'm dreading it but hope all goes well.
I was going to take a walk today but a friend from MN called and we talked too long. It was dark when we got off the phone and dinner was ready. I will go to class in the morning and then I may either swim some laps or go up to the studio and do the bike, etc.
Winter is tough with the melting, snowing, freezing, etc. I hope it is mild the rest of the winter but I know it won't happen that way.
Have you talked to Michele? Was today her last day?
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Leadership has shown zero interest in supporting the team. They will only care after things start to fall apart. Michele finally started an IT call ticket to get all the programs loaded on another team members system But sigh the reality of me having to train someone is daunting. My knowledge of the logic going on in the programming and exactly what is happening in the system is bare compared to Michele. And it will also take time to build competency. So the added pressure of knowing it’s all on me for certain things. Not that I miss a lot but I was just sick (it happens) and I have five vacation days I have to use by march 1. There is no grace period anymore
Sigh
Michele’s last day is Friday/saturday. She committed to working through the end of the period. I have no idea who will be doing all her month end work. Again no communication. Such nonsense
Hope you get a good workout tomorrow
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Well a whopper just happened here. I don't know if I ever told you that my brother Bruce who was 2 years older than me left home at the age of 26, in Dec of 1985. He had mental health problems, had survived the navy for 4 years, was a substance abuser, and had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He lived with my Mom, couldn't hold down a job, heard voices in his head, could be violent and was difficult to be around. I was newly married and had moved to Mpls just before he left home. Our last pictures of him were at my June 1985 wedding to my first husband. He told my Mom she would never see him again and walked out the door. He left behind his ID. We never saw or heard from him again. My Mom hired a private detective two different occasions, pleaded with the state police to keep a record of his disappearance, etc. The police couldn't help because he left on his own and was a legal adult. The private detective could not find any leads to tell what had become of him. My Mom lived with so much worry and I'm sure that is what contributed to her dx of breast cancer and then Alzheimers.
In 2010-2011, my sister Lynn and I got a lead on how to hopefully find him from an article in People Magazine that she read. It lead us to Namus.gov and the doenetwork.org for missing and unidentified persons. We saw a John Doe that we thought could be Bruce so I contacted the detective for that cold case file. It did not turn out to be Bruce but the detective, who was in CO Springs, helped us get Bruce's DNA and info on Namus.gov and into the national crime database (CODIS), in case we would get a hit for a John Doe, victim of a crime, or being incarcerated. We did it all with his help but the years went by and we figured we would never have closure or know what happened to him. Tonight two state troopers came to Lynn's door and told her Bruce is dead and she needs to call a detective in Santa Monica, CA tomorrow for details. They verified he had been incarcerated in 1990. They could only have found the MI connection through our info in Nameus.gov and that the MI State Police had a cold case file on him. We were finally able to get his info recorded by the state police 12-13 years ago. Lynn was listed as family contact person in that file, which is why they came to her door when they got the call from CA. We don't know if he recently died, if his remains were found, or whether they are working old cold cases from their storeroom, and he was one of them. I will go to her house tomorrow afternoon and be with her when she makes the call. Wow!!!!!! I was just thinking of him yesterday and disappointed we would probably never have closure. Now we know and will know more tomorrow, hopefully. I'm sure that what we hear won't be good and that bad things happened to him.
Well it sounds like more work stress and an increased load may be happening for you for a bit of time. Hang in there.0 -
Wow!!! That is something about your brother and getting information now. Take care. I’m sure a lot of emotions will come out. Hopefully eventually it will be a sense of peace0
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Our pizza dinner with Laurie and Chris was nice last night. Chris was impressed with the pizza oven and wants one. Laurie brought a gluten free apple crisp that was delicious. We baked it here so it was warm and fresh for dessert.
My sisters are struggling with all of this. I'm sad about the life he led and his ending but am amazed he lived until the age of 63, potentially living as a transient all those years. I imagined a lot worse of an ending so I get some peace from that. I just feel relief that we did get closure. Now I can begin to process what we know and stop wondering if he is dead or alive and where he is. I thought he had probably died 25 to 30 years ago and we would never know. It's a long story with many unsuccessful attempts to find out what happened to him. Bruce and I were close in age but not close as siblings. Lots of ups and downs and he was mentally ill with a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia in his early 20's. Very erratic behavior in high school, violent, paranoid, and scary. I lived at home with him and my Mom. It was amazing he got into the Navy and 4 years on an aircraft carrier. This is prior to his diagnosis. I believe he l0 -
I will finish the story another time...MFP acting up.0
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I believe he left home so he wouldn't hurt my Mom or anyone else. He had urges to hurt and kill us but thankfully never acted on them. He was pretty threatening and my Mom lived alone with him while I was in college. It had to have been difficult. Now to get his remains cremated and buried with my parents.
How was Michele's last day? Was their a send off party? How are you holding up?
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Someone brought in pizza and the team and a few others sat in one of the conference rooms and had a few jokes and the meal. I tried to act like the others being joking and light. But I am still not ok. Actually less so. I found out the other day she already has another job. ???!!!??? Her text to me a few weeks ago was that she couldn’t do it anymore and was just too broken. I mean she just made it sound like she couldn’t handle behlen and the way she said it made it seem like she was taking time to rest and then decide what’s next. But having her next position is something that takes time. She has been working on job hunting for awhile. AND DIDNT SHARE ANYTHING ABOUT IT WITH ME. For example she gave me a really complicated new task for the first time Friday. One time showing me something that I really needed weeks of training on. She could have been working on this with me for months. Let alone the whole sister thing. I just feel so destroyed. She stopped being my sister and is setting me up for failure giving me critical tasks without enough time to learn her process. And there is literally no one to help me.
I’m glad you are feeling ok about what you learned about your brother
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Is Michele mad at you about something or just caught up in her own stuff and didn't cope well and share what was going on with you?
I'm baking a loaf of sourdough bread. I added in garlic powder, sharp cheddar cheese and Everything Bagel Seasoning. We tasted it and wow! Very good!
I had written up notes for my siblings organizing the info the detective in CA gave us on my brother. I sent it to my 3 siblings and then my brother's daughters wanted viewing rights. I hadn't intended for them to see it but my brother shared the email with them so they requested viewing rights. So I sent it to my boys, niece and nephew so they all had it even though that wasn't the original intent. We aren't sharing the gory details with our closest cousins and aren't telling friends at this point (except you since you are my confidant). Well my nephew in Portland has a big mouth and must like to spread info like my middle sister, Becky. He has told his Dad who has been divorced from my sister for 30+ years and his friend's Dad who is my sister Lynn's good friend. Now they are emailing me for viewing rights of my notes!!! WTH!!!! My sister Becky told my cousin Polly the gory details and now she has told another cousin because they all just won't wait until we are ready to share. I called Lynn and told her to tell her son to stop gossiping and not to call me. This is turning into a circus. What is wrong with people?
Well rant over. I'm feeling some anger right now at those that blab to others and can't keep their mouth shut even when they are told to do so.
Dinner is smelling good. Russ is roasting a chicken.
I hope your weekend was good. Hang in there with your sister and work. What job did she find?
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People just love drama don’t they. And it’s so strange how people have become used to feeling entitled to digging into things that aren’t theirs to dig into. A side effect of the social media age perhaps. Hopefully the lathered interest will die down soon.
I really don’t know what to say about everything with Michele. I don’t think it’s about me, it just makes me feel like….. I don’t know that all the years of supporting each other was a lie. That there must be something wrong with me that she had to cut me off. Intellectually I should know it is not, but it sure feels like it.
Spent most of today watching football since Zach is into it. Just sitting on the couch with him. That’s all I have to look forward to. Bernie refuses to ask about how I am doing because as usual he has no interest in or ability to deal with emotions. No husband and no sister. The cheese stands alone0 -
Have you been able to tell Michele how you feel about it all and ask her if she is mad at you? Maybe a frank discussion will clear the air and let you move forward with some healing.
Organizing my brother's cremation, getting him here, burial, etc. will be a process. What next? I would rather be oblivious to tragedy and world events in my retirement and just float along being content. Not going to happen...
I talked to the local funeral director this morning to gather information to seek out mortuaries in CA for cremation. More to it that I was aware of so the journey begins.
I'm going to Power Books this afternoon to help out. This will be my last time until April due to surgery.
High 30's here so snow is melting. It's nice getting around without icy sidewalks and roads this week.
Well Happy Monday and stay tuned for more of my family drama!!0 -
I know we will have to talk it out at some point. Not sure how to not come across like a brat who doesn't want her to try for a better situation. While I have every reason to be able to 'feel the way I feel' - she obviously has the same.
Hope things are settling down for you.
Today we finally have a meeting with our new 'leader'. The guy who is retiring in a month. Can't wait to hear what he has to say. I am trying desperately to train Amber (another gal in the team) to at least be able to run my programs, but she doesn't have time to spend much with me - maybe an hours a day - and I can't even get through a quarter of my stuff in training mode in that amount of time. Stress.
2024 is definitely not off to the start I was hoping for!0 -
I hope things get better soon.
I went to water aerobics with my sister Becky today. It was a great class but there were 28 people in the pool for class! Way too many but we managed. Then I went to my sister Lynn's house to pick up her walker and some paperwork on my brother.
Tomorrow I have PT and Russ is going to drive with me so we can do some shopping afterwards.
I've started the series This Is Us on Netflix. I never watched it when it was a hit show so I'm watching it now.
I need to make calls to mortuaries in CA and find someone to cremate my brother and send him home. Retirement has been full of death and illness since we moved here. I had this idea that we wouldn't deal with family death and caregiving for several years but it feels non stop. The ups and downs of life I guess.0 -
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I didn't sleep well last night. I've been up since at least 4am tossing and turning and decided to get out of bed at 5:30. I didn't call mortuaries yesterday since Russ and I were shopping. Today is the day when I get home from Aquafit. I'm dreading making the calls and asking the questions. It is going to be expensive to cremate and fly him home. That is if we find a place that will do it. I know this is a huge character flaw, but I am really tired of taking care of family deaths, cleaning up siblings homes/estate stuff/etc. My brother Steve was single with no children and his house and financial records were a mess. The house alone took us weekly visits for 4 months to sort and clean out the house. Bruce was probably a transient most of his life or may have had family that weren't looking for him, but that would be hard to believe he married or had kids. Now we incur the costs and figure out his post life stuff. Lynn is single but her daughter and son will hopefully take care of her belongings, funeral, etc. I asked her if she had her affairs in order and she said she needs to fine tune some things. I would be surprised if she has dealt with any of it. Becky is widowed, no kids, and I am her power of attorney and medical person. If she passes away, we have to take care of all the details because she has no children. Brad has 3 daughters so they will make plans for him and do what is necessary. It is amazing to learn how life works as we age and all that we need to tend to for ourselves and others. It is just overwhelming! Russ and I really need to pre plan and pre pay for cremation and make some decisions. My will states what I want but it is at least 7 years old. Now I have grand children and have a different home.
I will go to the 9am class and push myself to exercise hard. Maybe that will work off some of my frustration with all
of this
Two weeks from today is surgery. I have PT next week to get a refresh on walker and cane, a pre-op with my primary doctor, and then an appt with the ortho surgeon the day before surgery the following week. I'll try to get to the Y 6 more times and continue home exercises for strength. Clock is ticking...
I hope you have had a better week.0 -
It is so stressful isn't it. No good words, but I'm sorry. Will your siblings help with the cost? I know for me, I often tend to worst case things in my mind - maybe/hopefully it won't be nearly as consuming as you fear. Sending good thoughts.
The meeting/talk with our team and the (I'm going to call it Interim) leadership was.... I don't know. Kind of BS. Basically they want us to continue, 'business as usual' while they try to figure out what tasks can be done without. Mmmmhmmm. And probably going to 'decentralize' (Behlen is made up of multiple business units and our team was always centralized - working for the good of the company as a whole) - while some of the team easily fit into specific business units - I don't. But don't worry Marla - you have a place. Mmmhmmm. Oh and our interim leader is also retiring in less than three months. So, still lots left to figure out.
New knee day is really racing up.
Keep getting to the Y am get those workouts in.0 -
Great aerobic workout this morning. My favorite Tuesday instructor subbed at the 9am class today. I plan to get to
water yoga tomorrow.
I spent the afternoon on the phone to cremation societies and funeral homes in Santa Barbara County. I had a list of questions and each person I talked to was very kind. Explaining my transient brother is in their morgue and has been deceased 1.5 years is weird. It won't cost as much as I feared to cremate and send him home. Then we have burial costs and a grave stone. My siblings and I will split the costs 4 ways. Tragic and sad...
It is hard to know if you will have a job long term from the comments you shared. They sound so unorganized with no direction for the company. Would it be beneficial for you to start looking too? Maybe the pay, PTO, etc. could be negotiated in a new job and won't be the reduction you fear.
Life seems to be throwing a lot of lemons lately. Hang in there.
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Here’s hoping you had a productive day. Maybe once you get the arrangements settled things will settle down.
Glad to get through the week. Obviously I am on the job boards every day looking for things for Zach, but also keeping an eye out for myself. My strange set of things I do aren’t going to be common postings. One day at a time.
And, hey, it’s Friyay0
