jilliancreates a journey of releasing weight and attracting health.
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This is gonna be a long post...or possibly multiples since I can't save a draft on the phone app.
The scale has gone up slightly again. Not too much, and I'm not so concerned about the number as I am about my own inconsistency. Summer is really kicking my *kitten*, and not because of vacations or other fun events full of edible temptations. I do great with my food and exercise when my younger kids are with their dad, and as soon as they come home I almost forget what the hell I'm doing. I say almost because I do try to keep myself on track, but I haven't been super successful with it. So, not only does my planning need to improve, but I also need some back up plans...and some brainstorming to figure out how to work around some logistical issues when the kids are home.
.... So yeah, multiple posts it'll be. Kids are calling...0 -
What I'm noticing specifically...
The school year gives me more me time because the kids after gone during the day. With summer in full swing, I'm taking less time for self care even when we're home just hanging out. The legal crap with my ex does pose a logistical issue because I can't leave the kids at home unless Jeff is also gone. W.e are often on different exercise schedules. I like mornings. He likes evenings. When I want to exercise, he's still sleeping and I can't really take the kids for a 12 mile walk. If I wait until a little later, he is likely working (at home, in his shop space) and I'm not about to ask him to stop and leave the house for an hour or 3 while I go for a walk. When he's ready for the gym, it's often after dinner when I'm ready to start settling down with the kids. I CAN pace the block in front of the house. It works. It's boring, but I get my steps in. I'd like to have some other option though. Feedback would be greatly appreciated here.
And the food. What's working? I'm sticking to my fasting hours...almost every day. I'm keeping to my mostly vegetarian choice. Maintaining consistency with the fasting hours is more mental than anything. Occasionally, there's a night worth breaking that routine for, but eating at 10pm because I've already blown my day and I'd rather do it all in one shot than let that less than healthy item temp me again tomorrow... Not helpful. So yeah... Will power. Vegetarianism while out and about is currently challenging. I'm leaning heavily on carbs and dairy because I haven't done my research on what restaurants have the best options for me. That's a task I can do. I should have time this weekend. Kids go back to their dad's tomorrow morning and my oldest is going to stay with her stepmom for several days since summer school is done tomorrow.
Back up plans for food would be helpful. Things to have in my van, and at home for that matter. Go to items other than nuts, and protein bars that melt in a roasting vehicle. Even a list to use as a reminder when I'm focused on anything but food until I need food immediately. I could make a list of restaurants in the city we frequent too. Again, feedback is appreciated.0 -
Today
209.5 (10.1 lbs)
12,000+ steps
Vegetarian 19 of 24
900+ calorie deficit0 -
I didn't even come close to getting my steps in today, but I ate really well so ended up with a nice deficit anyway.
Today
209.2 (10.4 lbs)
4,000+ steps
Vegetarian 20 of 25
900+ calorie deficit0 -
Very low key weekend. Sedentary, but I ate fairly well. Tried some new meatless products that are meant to taste like meat. I want to be mindful of sticking to products that are based on nuts, mushrooms, beans and grains rather than soy protein and wheat gluten/seitan.
Yesterday
210.5 (-9.1 lbs)
2,000+ steps
Vegetarian 21 of 26
500+ calorie deficit
Today
210.2 (-9.4 lbs)
1,000+ steps
Vegetarian 22 of 27
500+ calorie deficit0 -
So, I haven't really been feeling like myself these last few days. I won't turn this into a therapy session, but truthfully, dealing with PTSD sucks. Sometimes this sedentary time is just what happens. I'm planning to go for my long walk tomorrow, even if I have to force myself. Once I'm out there, I think it'll help shake off this funk. Fingers crossed.
Today
208.5 (-11.1 lbs)
3,000+ steps
Vegetarian 23 of 28
600+ calorie deficit0 -
I made myself walk today. It was hard, and I almost had Jeff come pick me up before I even hit 9 miles. I made myself finish though. Stretched, soaked my feet, and I'm about ready to pass out. My feet ache, and I can barely stand up, much less walking. I'm glad it's muscle soreness though and not blisters! Enjoyed a lobster tail for supper with some Caesar salad and half an avocado. I was so hungry!
Today
208.4 (-11.2 lbs)
27,000+ steps
13 mile walk
Vegetarian 23 of 29
2,400+ calorie deficit1 -
I hope you're feeling better! Awesome job on getting out for a walk even when you didn't want to!
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Thanks @WifiresGettingFit . I did feel better yesterday. Getting up and going in the morning was interesting, but I kept doing stretches. The more I moved, the better I felt. I certainly didn't get enough movement, but as a rest day I'm okay with it. However, I was seriously ravenous yesterday. I ended up eating back more than half of my deficit from the day before. It probably wouldn't have been that much had I planned for it, or at least not been on the road trying to navigate major hunger. Now I know for next time. The day after my training walks will now become my meat eating day. Hopefully, that will help keep the recovery day appetite in check. I guess on a positive note, I will still have a deficit for the week.
I also decided that it's time to stop stepping on the scale every day. Daily weigh ins served their purpose to keeping me motivated in the beginning, but I feel it becoming more of an obsession now. Tuesdays will be my weekly date with my scale.
Yesterday
2,600+ steps
Vegetarian 24 of 30
1,500 calorie surplus0 -
@jilliancreates I'm glad you're feeling better! You're doing great!0
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I had a really emotional day yesterday. Didn't get enough movement it, but I interestingly didn't really feel like eating either. I probably could've skipped my last few hundred calories, but I'm temporarily on an antibiotic that requires me to eat when I take it. The emotional turmoil smoothed out late last night, and hopefully today will be a better day. My kids come home in about an hour. Then my son leaves for a family summer camp with his best friend who is moving away before summer's end. It'll be interesting here because the timing essentially equals me not have time with my son for 3 weeks, other than an hour this morning. *Hold it together mama* I feel like this is going to be a great and memorable experience for him, so in that way I'm really excited.
Yesterday
4,300+ steps
Vegetarian 25 of 31
900+ calorie deficit0 -
I'm sorry you had such an emotional day yesterday, I hope it gets better and that you're able to have a good weekend!0
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I hope that today is getting better for you.
Enjoy the morning with your son - it sounds like a great opportunity for him.0 -
I'm having a hard time finding a group that deals specifically with mental illness and weight loss, so I'm just going to express it here. Be forewarned, this may sound like a rant, so just don't read any further if you're not interested in the challenges that arise from dealing with mental illness while trying to lose weight. I really don't mean that in a rude way. I just understand that this is an issue that some don't have on their radar and that's totally ok.
I've really been having a hard time lately. PTSD can be really challenging at times, but specifically it's the depression part that just doesn't lend itself well too health and fitness issues. I've been reading a lot about seratonin deficiency depression vs dopamine deficiency depression. Seratonin depression is the kind when a person feels sad and hopeless and had a hard time seeing anything from a positive outlook. This is the kind of depression that our medical system treats. Dopamine depression is characterized by lethargy, lack of motivation, and disinterest in most things. Our medical system doesn't treat this. As far as I can tell, it doesn't even recognize the difference of the root cause. This is what type of depression I deal with. I mean, sometimes it's a sadness thing, but more often than not, if I'm depressed, it's a dopamine issue. Since I can't get treatment for this through the VA, I've been finding alternative treatments. I've started taking L-Tyrosine (an amino acid that's a precursor to dopamine) daily at the lowest dose recommended for depression. It is helping some, but I am considering a slight increase in dosage.
Anyway, the depression vs weight management.... I haven't felt like doing *kitten* lately. I haven't walked in about 2 weeks...I think, can't remember for sure without looking. I've not been reaching my step goal, and usually less than half. My eating has been off; some days worse than others. It feels like a huge effort to do laundry, much less get out for a walk. To add to the lack of motivation and energy, I feel guilty for not sticking with my plan to reach my goals. It's really hard to deal with, so many days I just have been saying eff it. I want to do better though, so I'm going to do what I can muster the energy for. I'm hoping that today will be a decent start to getting back on track. I'll start my daily stats again tonight or tomorrow...I imagine I've gained a few pounds, but hopefully it's mostly sodium related.0 -
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. *HUGS*0
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Thank you @WifiresGettingFit
Yesterday I did ok. I had a 300 calorie deficit and got almost 8,000 steps in. I forced myself out of the house for an easy walk and called a friend to distract me from thinking about how I'd rather be home in bed. It feels like it's not even me because I really love walking. I hope I get that feeling back soon.
I upped my tyrosine dose today, and it seemed to help a bit. I was still exhausted by 6:30, even though I didn't really do anything that would cause me to be tired. I'm still on the lower end of the recommended dosage for depression, so I have quite a bit of wiggle room if I decide to increase again. It does work very quickly, so I'll stay with the current amount for another day or two and go from there.
A really positive thing that I considered today... Even through not making good food choices, I still ate as a vegetarian almost every day. I'm just going to keep track of how many vegetarian days I have each week now instead of keeping a running total... I've lost track anyway. Like weigh in, Tuesday is the start of my week.
Today
211.1
7,500 steps
Vegetarian 1 of 1
100 calorie deficit
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I forgot to unplug my scale from my VA home equipment, and it told me this morning that I'm down to 205.4. ???
I feel like there must be some user error because I can't even imagine how that is possible considering how the last 2 weeks have gone.
I'm not logging that weight, and I unplugged the scale. We'll see what happens next Tuesday.0 -
Today was a little bit better than yesterday. I didn't get as many steps, but I did walk to a friend's house and home again after we spent some time together. Then I walked to Walgreen's and Dollar Tree. Unfortunately, I live in a great location, and all of those places are only 3 blocks away. Food was on track today though, and I didn't even eat my full base calorie allowance.
Today
5,700 steps
Vegetarian 2 of 2
500 calorie deficit0 -
Sounds like a good day to me! Just take it one day at a time! 1
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Didn't get a walk in yesterday, but I did spend 5 hours deep cleaning my van. Fitbit says that it burned about 600 calories, so I'm happy with that.
Yesterday
6,000+ steps
Vegetarian 2 of 3
Almost 900 calorie deficit0
