Gastric ByPass/VSG/LapBand

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Dating life Post Surgery

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  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    I can laugh now :smile:
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,353 Member
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    I live vicariously through you @NicoleL874 since I'm not in the dating pool anymore. I think the nicknames are great! I had Music Man, Green Card Guy, Narcolepsy Boy, and a couple others I can't remember anymore.
  • Ultima_Morpha
    Ultima_Morpha Posts: 895 Member
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    Keep bringing the entertainment! I'm living vicariously through you and, unbeknownst to him, keeping me extra appreciative of my husband!
  • lorisisler
    lorisisler Posts: 67 Member
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    I'm 6 months post op and newly single after 27 years.
  • NicoleL874
    NicoleL874 Posts: 684 Member
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    NicoleL874 wrote: »

    So, all the men get "code names" because it's easier for my friends to keep them straight, lol! (and a little privacy when posting about experiences here) Right now there's Food and Fun, Hot Cop, Day Drinker (we went wine tasting, day drinking is funnier), Single Dad, Pool Balls, and Coffee Guy.


    UPDATE: Food and Fun. Still there. Still not interested in more. Seeing him tomorrow night.
    Hot Cop, Day Drinker, Pool Balls...haven't heard from. *crickets*
    Coffee Guy...disappeared, again, I'm sure he'll pop up.
    Single Dad became ANGRY Single Dad and had to be cut loose. I don't need that *kitten*.

    NEW ADDS...ok people. I'm playing a dangerous game here. I've become friends with a girl that works for the gym. Hanging out with her in a small bar town near my home. All the guys know one another. I've been accepted by a group of them as "chill and fun". Huge compliment coming from these a-holes, lol! Well, one of them is on POF, but met him out, then saw his profile. We've had quite a few dating hell conversations. We're hitting it off, and I'm definitely interested. We hung out last night...I never go out on a work night! I'm up by 4:30am, got home at 11pm! It was a good night, we met for drinks, then met up with others at two other bars. (I mentioned it's a bar town) We are kinda hitting it off, I think. (No sense for this crap anymore after all the ghosts) We text daily. Laugh often. Getting to know each other slowly.

    So, the stupid part of me? I know his favorite bar...now. Well, over the weekend I met another guy there. Not a part of the group, but still a part of the general crowd, and a regular at that bar. We hit it off and exchanged numbers. Now I'm nervous because I am realizing how small this crowd is, but really am interested in both, and really don't know either. OH WELL. We'll see. No code names for these two, yet...

    Any advice on that one? lol
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    NicoleL874 wrote: »
    NicoleL874 wrote: »

    Any advice on that one? lol

    Have fun. You're single, not really dating either of them, so just have fun. You know the herd will thin itself at some point :-)
  • Elyseinchi
    Elyseinchi Posts: 71 Member
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    This is better than even the old Melrose Place episodes! I agree... Dr. Stalker... ROFL!
  • gamommy
    gamommy Posts: 131 Member
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    I had fun reading through all these! I'm married, not interested in dating or single life ever again...but still love to hear about the stories. So much fun! :) Nicole, I absolutely love your sense of humor with regards to dating. It sounds like you have an excellent head on your shoulders and eventually you'll weed them out. What happened to candy/boat guy?
  • nakeddog
    nakeddog Posts: 79 Member
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    I've been staying out of this thread too, married...boring...lol. But I love to see how everyone is doing with dating, and confidence to just get out there, and live life. So good for you single ladies and men, that's awesome. I do hope I can get my husband to date me again, and rebuild our marriage...I loved the man I dated but 19 yrs later, that love is cold. So it will be interesting. :wink:

    I went out with different guys at the same time...but there was no intimacy, it was all platonic getting to know each other, made great friendships. Once I met my husband, and he officially asked me out...I did break the ties with the others., they never officially asked., and one regretted it, but after 3 1/2yrs, as much as I knew I loved him and the fact that it took my husband to see my worth in 2 weeks, and no games. It was refreshing., so even tho he asked me to break up and gave me the he was better for me speech, (he had been drinking, lol), I said no, I can't play his games anymore, he had years to ask me and I need to see how this plays out, and hubby and I were married 9 mths later. These two guys were also roommates., but I only knew the one...until I moved into the same city, and we got introduced., by hubby's brother (whom I was friends with since I was 16)...again never met hubby...until I moved into the same city...I entered their circle.

    I miss dating, I miss the butterflies, the anticipation of seeing them, I use to drive 4 hours to meet up for dinner, game of pool, sometimes it was a bit more...but never too much...he kept it flirty and fun. I miss being flirted with, and feeling the attention., and giving attention, and laughing...I miss laughing.
  • NicoleL874
    NicoleL874 Posts: 684 Member
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    NicoleL874 wrote: »
    NEW ADDS...ok people. Well, one of them is on POF, but met him out, then saw his profile. We've had quite a few dating hell conversations. We're hitting it off, and I'm definitely interested. We hung out last night...I never go out on a work night! I'm up by 4:30am, got home at 11pm! It was a good night, we met for drinks, then met up with others at two other bars. (I mentioned it's a bar town) We are kinda hitting it off, I think. (No sense for this crap anymore after all the ghosts) We text daily. Laugh often. Getting to know each other slowly.

    So, the stupid part of me? I know his favorite bar...now. Well, over the weekend I met another guy there. Not a part of the group, but still a part of the general crowd, and a regular at that bar. We hit it off and exchanged numbers. Now I'm nervous because I am realizing how small this crowd is, but really am interested in both, and really don't know either. OH WELL. We'll see. No code names for these two, yet...

    So, yeah. The first guy in the update? Let's call Airlines, as that's where he works. I had friends from out of town over this weekend, told him we'd be at a bar. He was there for about an hour, was really standoffish, but then texted to check on me the next day. So, no clue there. Whatever.

    The other guy, we'll see. I'm cautiously optimistic as you guys may guess from all my posts. He says he's interested, he seemed to be over the weekend. We'll see what happens. He made it very clear if he gets involved, it would have to be one on one...which would mean dropping Food and Fun.

    That...wow. I don't know how I feel about that. I know that things are just as I call him, but he's set the bar high. I went and saw him briefly yesterday to drop off vanilla and chili (random) and he had flowers waiting. He was incredibly sweet, said how it was nice to see me that early, mocked my gym clothes...I'm going to have to wait and see how it goes with the new guy, then have a candid talk with Food and Fun about the whole situation and see if reality does anything to him. For now...status quo.

  • jcavanna2
    jcavanna2 Posts: 782 Member
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    The drunk dudes are SO not worthy of you, but you knew that :)
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Ugh and this is also why I don't meet men in bars or hang out with men who like to hang out at bars. I am probably too old and grumpy for that *kitten* lol.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,514 Member
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    Well that had me laughing my way thru a couple hours

    Wow nicole you sure have met some odd ones bless you

    Im regularly tempted to give up on guys

    I had one date who turned up late, stoned and stinking like a bin
    My mama taught me to be nice so i chatted to him for a while trying to keep out of arms length. When i went to go he asked for a second date. I told him i didnt think we clicked but i wish him well. At first he begged and then the threats started..... after a few weeks i had to move house

    Met a guy online. Showed him loads of pics, told him im 5ft 2 and that i weighed over 300lb......... he told me 2 weeks after our date that it wasnt me, it was him. That he hadnt expected me to be so fat...... ummmm

    I met my sons dad on POF he was always telling me its the best relationship hes had..... he accidently sent a text when i was 7 weeks pregnant meant for another woman and then told me he had changed his mind and didnt want to be a biological father after all ( we had a previous miscarriage)

    Few months ago i went on a date with lets call him minnie on account of sounding like the mouse
    He showed up with a friend who did ALL of the talking. Any question i asked he deflected to his friend
    By the end of the night i knew way more about his friends new baby then i did the guy who had been begging for a date for weeks

    Then theres mr train. Ive known him years, he knows all about my weight, diet, exercise.
    Visits me every few weeks and a couple visits ago kissed me...... i was so shocked i kinda slapped his arm. Doesnt seem to have detterred him but i know he doesnt see himself as relationship material
  • NicoleL874
    NicoleL874 Posts: 684 Member
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    OMG! Thanks for adding! I feel like I'm the only one dating sometimes! I know I may have some of the craziest stories, but there's got to be more out there! Or advice, or comments, or anything! lol

    Yeah, smelly, high...I'd run. No need to be polite sometimes. Any first date from an internet site, I have a friend text me about 20 minutes after I get there with a message. It's my out. I've not had to use it yet.

    Someone showing up with a wingman? Lame. I would have asked who I was on the date with and asked the other to leave. If they said no, I'd leave.

    Good luck!
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,514 Member
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    Im just counting the days till mr train has time off and comes up to visit. Should be 4th and 5th of may
  • NicoleL874
    NicoleL874 Posts: 684 Member
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    Speaking of dating...hahahahaha

    I ran into DL last weekend. Quite literally. I was coming out of a gaming area and he was walking backwards and walked into me. I put my hands on his back and said, "Careful, Larry!" and chuckled. He turned and said "sorry" then saw it was me. He looked sad, which made me a little sad. Later, I was outside and he came over and asked for a hug. I feel like making an enemy of the town drunk is not a wise choice, so I gave him a hug. He stared all night.

    Now that those tears for DL have been shed...I saw him while I was out with someone else. Heh. Younger guy by 10 years. Sweet, funny, smart, can hold a conversation. Bonus, I've seen him sober more than drunk. :wink:

    You may only hear about him and Food and Fun (who's messing with my mind once again. Men.) for a while. My parents are coming in next week and staying for three weeks. Then I'm home for a week then visit them for a week. Then, I'm home for five weeks and then OFF TO MEXICO! WOOT! So, dating is taking a back burner.

    This new guy was a surprise. I was going out for drinks with my friend last week Tuesday, he's usually off on Tuesdays, but happened to be at the bar. He was finishing up his shift and came out with us and we hit it off. We've known each other since January, but just really started talking and now have seen each other four times. We'll see!

    Crazy meet-up this weekend in Michigan with a WLS support group from FB. 50 have paid. We'll see how many show up! Should be good times! I've thought about ditching the party and keeping the cash for my skin surgery. :wink:
  • NicoleL874
    NicoleL874 Posts: 684 Member
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    Ok, this is going out to all the men. I need help with this situation from the male perspective.

    FOOD AND FUN. Shall we recap?

    On Halloween, we actually met for the first time. Talked a lot about past relationships. He's been screwed over big time by women. Has adult children, never been married. Two ex-fiancés. He made it clear from the get-go that this was no strings attached, just fun. OK!

    We've gotten together every few weeks, his house or my house. We've actually gone out twice (Frisbee golf and a bar for a band) I went to see his band play about 45 minutes away from me once in November.

    I was gone for four weeks over the holidays, contacted him mid-January, heard nothing until the end of January. Since then, things have been shifting. At one point in February, we briefly talked about what this situation was. He reassured me it was status quo. If I wanted more he was ready to walk away. I said I was fine, as long as my brain knew what page we were on.

    Since then, he's told me he missed me at two of his shows, he begs me to go. He gave me flowers for Easter, he's planning outings for the summer, he's shown jealousy over the idea that some old dude at a bar flirted with me. (I was talking about a local bar, said the owner was this old flirt. He spun around, irritated, "He flirted with YOU?") He's been sending me texts just to say hello. Just now, he texted me he hopes I have fun on my trip this weekend.

    To me and my girlies, it seems like there's something, he is just hesitant because of history. My friends keep telling me to say something, which I will NOT. I'd rather keep what we have than screw it up and lose him. But, in all honesty, it's a bit of a mind *kitten*. As a woman, if you just want FOOD and FUN, there should be no flowers, no outings with his brother, no begging me to see his band...right? Or do the men see a different perspective? All are welcome to reply, but I'm really looking for men to chime in...

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