Self Sabotage
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@SuperCarLori I, too, failed to stop smoking... this time! But, there will be another time that I will be successful. Just now, I choose to focus my willpower on food. I feel lucky that I don't have to bake cupcakes or stock the house with many forbidden (to me) foods, which would be like dangling a steak in front of a lion. It's like that bumper sticker says, "Choose life" because my old choices were killing me. By the way, we still have 2.5 months in which to be able to claim that we quit smoking in 2016!
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@SuperCarLori I, too, failed to stop smoking... this time! But, there will be another time that I will be successful. Just now, I choose to focus my willpower on food. I feel lucky that I don't have to bake cupcakes or stock the house with many forbidden (to me) foods, which would be like dangling a steak in front of a lion. It's like that bumper sticker says, "Choose life" because my old choices were killing me. By the way, we still have 2.5 months in which to be able to claim that we quit smoking in 2016!
I wish I didn't have to have carbs in this house, but Bob is a frickin long drink of water. Sigh.. two and a half months you say.....0 -
@RowdysLady ... you have helped me tons on here. I was afraid of eating the bad foods for the last two months. At the boat show this past weekend, VIP tickets to the food tent. Protein overload. Still shouldn't have eaten the breaded chicken or breaded fish. Shouldn't have had that taste of cocktail sauce. I did and it lowered my keto number dramatically. I kicked myself in the *kitten* and said, now do something about it and get your butt back where you belong. A setback is temporary, so don't beat yourself up constantly. You have come so far. You got this.4
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I don't know about anyone else, but there is usually something stressful going on when I fail on my diet: not enough sleep, too much work, heartbreak, illness, injury. It happens occasionally, and I go back the same way I got onto a healthy diet in the first place, one step at a time. I'm currently recovering from jet lag, and not fully on a healthy diet again.4
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I like that idea, @SuperCarLori and thanks for the link..checking it out now!1
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Thank you to everyone for the wonderful support!1
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Yeah, I'm sorry...really sorry if I hijacked. I believe in you!0
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(((((((hugs))))))) to you all and the mind*kitten* this whole thing can be...esp for women. I go through a very similar thinking process.
We're all worth it!!!! And other trite, but true, cliches.3 -
This isn't really sage advice & I haven't been losing long enough to give it anyway but here it goes...maybe you are just bored with it all? Even though it is all good maybe it has gotten boring. Is there anything you can do make some kind of new thing that can come into your life? Even as simple as cooking a new food? You know you have always wanted to try crock pot frog legs? Is there something you want to buy for just yourself (to kitten with the budget) How about a new activity? I only say this because I know being bored is the sure path to disaster for myself. Even the busiest ppl can be bored. We have to be like sharks alway moving ... that is my theory anyway.
Big hug to an amazing women! YOU!4 -
I had surgery on August 11th and have been seeking "comfort foods" since then. I have been eating off plan foods since then! I've been eating carbage and it's going to stop, today! The pain I've felt from eating the junk has returned with a vengeance, and isn't worth the convenience of grabbing whats there, instead of preparing on plan food for myself. I'm finally feeling energetic (after some surgical problems recovering, and an unrelated 15 day hospitalization!) enough that I feel I can cook again! It's been a ride these last couple of months, but I can feel the inflammation that goes with eating the junk! I'm actually up a size in my pants! I'm committing to leaving the junk behind as of now! You all can do this too! I want to feel better again, and will! That's what we deserve!
Recognition is huge, and is the first step to controlling what we choose to put in our mouths! I'm taking the control back as of now! I began the day with a two egg omelet with Canadian bacon, and cheese! Very filling, and will likely keep me full until late afternoon! Will continue to eat low carb, and no more junk! I hope you all can do the same!
Loving yourself is so important! We deserve to love ourselves, just as we do others!8 -
That's awesome inspiration @Karlottap0
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I hear a lot of "forgive yourself" comments directed at veering off the path. Let me ask you to take that forgiveness one step further. Forgive yourself and make peace with the WHYs of your weight struggles. Why did you allow yourself to gain weight, what were you running/hiding from under your layers of fat, what shame is lurking under the surface that you are trying to silence with food. These are all things I've had to come to grips with in order to successfully lose weight and stay on my chosen lifestyle path this time. Physically we can "diet" whenever, but mentally we need to be present and accounted for and at peace within ourselves. Journaling freely helped me identify, examine and finally release the things I've needed for years to forgive - not only others indescretions against me but my own. Good luck on your journey, you are so worthy of all of this and so much more! Hugs!7
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Are there people on this planet that don't struggle with long term motivation??? I can't sustain it myself, it's just impossible. I skip from one short-term goal to the next short term goal because I can promise you if it's going to take more than a few months I'm going to lose interest.
For example, Halloween has been a huge motivator for me for the last 6 months - that's twice as long as I have ever had a single motivator in the past and it was a huge challenge for me to stay interested for 6 whole months...especially after half the girls in the universe decided to do the SAME COSTUME as me...<sigh>
I have enlisted my husbands help for the next motivator - I asked him to pick out an outfit he would like to see me in, something sexy and christmas themed...so for November and December I will be using that for my motivation and then at the end of that I can maybe get him to take pictures of me in my sexy new outfit...or just take me to bed in it, whatever he's in the mood for.
After that, I don't know, I'll have to come up with something new, because I will NEED something NEW for motivation or there's no way in hades I'll stay on target without some new kind of goal.
You aren't a failure for slipping off the rails, I think it happens to everyone. But if you want to stay on the rails you have to find a system that works for you, and what you are doing, it's not working, so it's time to change it up. Find a shorter term goal and some kind of reward at the end of the goal. Maybe shopping for a new top after 5 more lbs, or going on a special trip for staying on target 3 months, or doing some fun activity for getting A1C levels in line...whatever you will find motivating, whatever gives you that little edge to WANT it, you have to find something you WANT enough to put in the work, because it's a lot of work...for me, it's always vanity because I'm at the point my weight is not a health issue, I just want to look a little better, a little less jiggly, a little more badass...
Find something that works for you...I like to read the success stories for ideas about what will be motivating, a lot of times people include their own motivations in there...3 -
This isn't really sage advice & I haven't been losing long enough to give it anyway but here it goes...maybe you are just bored with it all? Even though it is all good maybe it has gotten boring. Is there anything you can do make some kind of new thing that can come into your life? Even as simple as cooking a new food? You know you have always wanted to try crock pot frog legs? Is there something you want to buy for just yourself (to kitten with the budget) How about a new activity? I only say this because I know being bored is the sure path to disaster for myself. Even the busiest ppl can be bored. We have to be like sharks alway moving ... that is my theory anyway.
Big hug to an amazing women! YOU!
Crock pot frog legs!!! mwhahahaha!
I am one of those people who watch tv while I browse the internet while I help with homework kinda people. I am always doing something and Rowdy will tell you I think way too much. I have felt like I can't seem to cook anything new and that he, not me, may be getting sick to death of the foods. Yet, he's a simple guy who doesn't want anything too new. For example he's a salt guy - everything gets salted before it is tasted...The first time he tried Soy Sauce on his Asian was when we met and I had to force him to try it and had to explain it was "liquid salt". Now he loves it. But it was a struggle, boy howdy it was a struggle. So I know it's not really him I'm worried about.
I still make all the things I ever did but maybe I'm bored with that. Totally possible.
I had planned to start square dancing again a few months back but come to find out the group had stopped dancing for a few months. I need to call again. That would be really good for me. I also think I need friends to do something with. I made friends in Dallas when I first moved to Texas but I live so far away I rarely see them and I don't really have any easy way to make friends here in Canton since I work locked away in my house all the time. I've been trying with some of the band moms since it's marching season...we'll see.
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RowdysLady wrote: »Ok, my typo in the word sabotage in my title is driving me crazy. I do know how to spell most of the time...sigh.
I fixeded it. 3 -
I too find myself sabotaging myself quite a lot. I have good attentions when I wake up in the morning and then something will happen to throw me off and it's down hill from there.... It is easier to give in than stay on track sometimes. This past weekend I went away with some friends, no kids and no husband and I drank and ate way too much and did not even care about low carb. But boy did I feel it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so bloated and my feet and legs swelled up like sausages!!!! My breathing was affected from all the bloat and I just felt horrible and tired. I am back at work today. I had my BPC this am and now drinking water. I am going to try and get through this day on track and then will take one day at a time. Self sabotage is a horrible thing2
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@Karlottap thanks for sharing and you can do this!
@SuperCarLori you didn't hijack. Not one bit. Your smoking or not is as relevant as everything else. It's just different. You will quit again and one day you will quit for the last time. You can do it!!
@MimiOfTheLusciousLawn I used to journal; I should start again. Thank you and great pic!!
@tcunbeliever good point. We do all struggle and fall off the wagon. Part of this for me is that Rowdy doesn't care one bit what I look like. He's not that kinda person. When we met I was about 240 or so pounds. I ballooned up to 260 and now I'm down to 213. He's never once complimented, complained, or looked at me any differently. He's not treated me differently either. Which is all a really GOOD thing except I think I want someone that I love to tell me it's working and I am looking good. Ya know? Damn chick in me.... I don't go out and I don't really know a lot of people to say "wow, you've lost weight" or "you look great" and as shallow as that is I want that on some level.
He and I talked a long time last night and he recognizes what I am dealing with but he can only help so much. He's never going to be the guy that opens his mouth and compliments me unless I specifically ask and then it is hard for him to say something. But I know part of me is defeated because I silently think that my loss doesn't make a difference to him so "why bother?"
I know "why bother" - because I'm healthier, I feel better, Anna is on board with me and she's feeling better...I know all the real reasons but I want a vanity reason I guess. How sad is that?4 -
I can't thank everyone enough!
So today starts a new day. There is no more diet soda in the house for me to drink and Rowdy demanded I stop buying all soda (he knows I started drinking it again because I was buying it for him thus started buying my own). So it's water, tea and coffee here now like it used to be before I went off the deep end. He also told me to stop buying the sweet snacks for him that he puts in his lunches (I confessed that the girls didn't eat them, I did). I started buying them when I learned he was carrying change for the vending machines at work and I thought then that it made more sense for him to be able to grab it from home. I think that I can go without those - because even when I was eating them I didn't like them. It was like eating something because I knew I used to like it and I wanted to sabotage myself. "What the heck, it won't kill you, eat it Donna" so I ate it.
I started my day with my normal water and BPC. No chocolate in it but there is sweetener today. I will need to wean myself back off that again in the coffee. Today four packets, tomorrow 3. I leave in 2 hours to see Anna march in her UIL band comp. I am a Pit Mom so I'll get a workout in moving their props today. So off to a good start.
I really do appreciate every single post from you guys. It's made me cry in a good way today and I am so thankful to have found this forum. 8 -
I'm wondering if I'm going through the self sabotage myself. I'm not eating "cheats" or anything. But I am over eating nuts and keto treats. I am also not being careful when I eat out. Last night I had beef brisket which was fine but I had some braised greens with bacon in it. I wonder if those greens had sugar in them. *sigh*
I've been where you are though and you can bust out of it. Let's do this! I can honestly say making friends here on MFP has helped me SO much!!!
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I read an article yesterday that said "it's not about reaching a number, it's about living in the momentum". Reaching a certain number is sometimes too lofty a goal and we lose the motivation. Small goals do help at times but even then sometimes it's just not enough.
I don't know about you but as soon as I start doing everything "right" and on plan, I feel fabulous. Am I at goal weight? No. But I feel strong, I feel sexy, I feel motivated. If I focus on living in and gaining that momentum, I start to see results again. I know you said you are seeing some loss but it doesn't sound like you're feeling all that great in the meantime.
I've only been doing this since June, but this is a bit of practical advice. If I've gone off the rails or feel like I've let too many carbs slip back in or am losing control, I'll just eat meat for at least three days. I feel like it gets every little bit of carbage out of my system and even my thinking becomes clearer. I trust myself to make wise choices at that point. When the carbs are in there, it's too easy to way "whatever" and let more in. I may have to do this every couple weeks but it gets me back on track quickly. I'm on day 3 right now
You've come a long long way and are such an encouragement to others in this forum (and I suspect in life as well). You'll get it!!3 -
@RowdysLady Having your partner actually understand what you needed from him (eliminate the triggers) really shows his commitment to helping you reach your goals, whatever they are... just accepting that you are an equal and deserving of the same respect he wishes for himself. PRICELESS!
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@RowdysLady " I am always doing something and Rowdy will tell you I think way too much." Exactly what my hubs says about me!!
I think your mention of reconnecting with old friends or finding new ones is spot on. It keeps us interested in others and out of our own heads.2 -
You have a wonderful husband! What a great support 1
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I've only been doing this since June, but this is a bit of practical advice. If I've gone off the rails or feel like I've let too many carbs slip back in or am losing control, I'll just eat meat for at least three days. I feel like it gets every little bit of carbage out of my system and even my thinking becomes clearer. I trust myself to make wise choices at that point. When the carbs are in there, it's too easy to way "whatever" and let more in. I may have to do this every couple weeks but it gets me back on track quickly. I'm on day 3 right now
This sounds like great advice. Try to get back into that tight control. You will feel so much better. This always works for me. HUGS!!!!0 -
Your husband sounds like such a great supportive partner. You're a lucky lady. I'm sorry if someone else already mentioned this but I know for myself when I want to have things that aren't keto friendly I have a few things I do. 1. I'll allow myself something awesome and keto friendly (i.e. today I'm having a big prime rib steak!) 2. I think about all of the positives that I get from keto that aren't weight loss. My energy levels and how much better I feel are the things that usually come to my mind. Sometimes changing the focus is extremely helpful in adherence for me.
Good luck lady! You've got this!1 -
He is wonderful and supportive. I'm most fortunate (as is he, he'll tell you) that we found each other. Thank you all
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I am about to committe carbacide...I ate Chinese rice, some chocolate and probAbly a banana split soon0
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@KetoLady86 I'd tell you not to do it, but well....sounds like I missed that boat. I will think of you and hope you a speedy recovery in the morning when you aren't feeling so good.0
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From your most recent post it sounds to me like you're already set on doing exactly what I was about to suggest, which was essentially - get back on track already!
I've been low carb on and off for years now and I'm very familiar with the slippery slope you describe - you just have one cookie because your daughter made them and it doesn't do much harm and before you know it you're sneaking bites and tastes and snacks until you're essentially off plan but still eating like you're not.
Incidentally the time this diet gets dangerous is when we're struggling and our high fat lowcarb diet becomes high fat and high carb...
Anyways for me this usually happened at emotionally rough times. I fell off the wagon after death in the family and then had a rough two years with other family deaths/illnesses and could not get back on properly that whole time. I would start over, lose 5lbs, fall off and gain 8lbs etc etc until I gained a lot of weight back.
I tried telling myself I would go to 50g carbs a day and ease myself in - no good because I used the lax carb limit to allow myself treats and started the whole cycle off again.
Honestly I think the best way to get on plan is to be extra strict for a couple of weeks, eg:
Under 20g net
No wheat products
No sweets (even low carb ones as they can set off cravings)
BUT don't calorie count for those two weeks and don't push yourself too hard or do extreme fasts etc. What works for me when I'm getting on track after a cheat is to start my day with a big meal - steak and eggs maybe or bacon and cheese omelette - something REALLY filling, more food than you think you want. Hopefully you'll be stuffed enough not to habit eat or give in to cravings.
You had weight loss surgery, I think? That means you were willing to risk death to lose this weight once and for all. Surgery is not an easy option and you have to be a tough determined person to go through that. That just shows me you know what you want to do and where you want to be. There will be detours on the way sometimes, we all wander off occasionally, but you will get there for sure.2 -
RowdysLady wrote: »@KetoLady86 I'd tell you not to do it, but well....sounds like I missed that boat. I will think of you and hope you a speedy recovery in the morning when you aren't feeling so good.
Thanks babe!! I know it'll be a long day..but I am ready to get the mindset I had a few mos ago...
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