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  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    This sounds like it could be very useful, Athijade. Even the process of simply "owning" what you eat for a little while with no guilt or pressure. I hope that is the case anyway.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    Good plan ✅
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    Up early (for me) today. Pre-op booked for this morning. Seems unnecessary since I had all the pre-op tests just over a month ago? Alas. The hospital gods deem it so. Second surgery requires second set of tests. This is feeling a bit like the real-life action flick Ground Hog Day :p
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,978 Member
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    Pre-op again! Well Laurie at least you know the drill. And it will be good to get this all behind you soon. I’ll light that candle for you again. 🕯
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    By the time I'm reading this... I hope you're safe and sound at home? Relaxing?
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    Thank you ! Surgery isn't until Tuesday. :)

    That is when it is booked for - but I maybe threw a bit of a wrench into the machinery today. I am thinking I would like an MRI before anything else happens. I thought that the first time - but everything happened so quickly - and the surgeon was off for the week before the surgery (spring break) so I let it go thinking the worse that would happen is a second surgery so to save my sanity I just stopped thinking about it. But here I am heading into a second surgery without an MRI and that is what keeps me up at night. Feeling that something is amiss and not doing anything about it.

    At the preop yesterday a conversation with a nurse nudged me to push on this - so I am. I would so prefer to just trust...but I don't think that is going to happen.

    It doesn't help (or maybe it really does) that I do a lot of work with doctors/CVs/journals and have learned to source and read them well. Everything I read says an MRI is required to fully understand the extent of this type of cancer BEFORE SURGERY. Especially since this surgeon is recommending breast conserving surgery rather than a full mastectomy.

    At this point he is just guessing where the cancer is exactly. He has been doing this for 28 years - but that only makes it an educated gues. His first guess was wrong. He should put his ego aside and take a peak before he goes in again.

    Measure twice cut ONCE!

    I want what Yooly said. To get this all behind me. Not to dilly dally around taking bits here and there at whim :)
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
    edited April 2023
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    And no. This didn't change my eating yesterday - not at all!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    Woah! My pants are flaming :)
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
    edited April 2023
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    And no. What I ate didn't clarify the MRI situation - but it did mute the screaming noises in my brain for a little while - long enough to get to sleep.

    Much research is necessary on how to do that without food/alcohol/cigarettes. During the day it would be a walk. Once it gets dark I have no tricks up my sleeve.

    Ideas??????
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,978 Member
    edited April 2023
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    When the night time craziness came for me, I worked on on a complicated knitting project that fully occupied my brain.
    Maybe a a painting Laurie? Something/someone you love? Lots of detail?
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    Just posing that question was good for me! Painting takes far too much concentration to be the first step - I would just mess it up if I didn't come to it with some focus. It would be a good "solidifier" - something that would up the dopamine levels for the next bunch of hours.

    I'm thinking I need this approach now:
    1st I need to work on my determination that this is of upmost importance.
    2nd I need to truly believe I can control the urge to soothe myself in any unhealthy way.
    3rd maybe rowing? Since physical activity usually works well for me. I can need to come up with one I can do inside by myself at night!
    And a "prequel" 1st - make sure I'm well nourished so there is no underlying hunger. This is the main reason I'm aiming for maintenance now rather than trying to continue at a smaller deficit. I just don't think I can do deficit and big stress at the same time. But it is hard to conciously feed myself maintenance level of calories! Several times I did a "guilty" after eating log and realized I was considerably under maintenance for the day. It wasn't a mini-binge - it was refueling. What a psychological puzzle this all is!
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,978 Member
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    I think the prequel may be the key to maintaining. Being conscious of eating well tends to stave off snacks or binging. Hope this works for you Laurie until you can put the doctors and surgeries behind you!
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    Yikes. Wish I had solutions other than rear guard control the damage options.

    I vote for MRI too
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    After a mini meltdown yesterday, I finally relaxed. Called the surgeon - missed his return call :( But have come to terms with Tuesday's surgergy. Will insist on an MRI before radiation though. Just to know nothing is lurking somewhere else in the left breast :)
    Today I plan on eating well, and hopefully getting some work done!!!
    Thank you all for your patience and support. XO
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,978 Member
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    That’s what we’re here for - supporting each other!

    Our Mr. PAV has been a bit quieter than usual. No doggy stories or cooking experiments... hope all is okay. Maybe it’s just spring in Vancouver.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    Clicking along. In the nuker: 415g carrots diced (150 Cal), 385g cauliflower rice (93 Cal), 296g konjak sticky rice (does have some calories at about 180 for the pack), jar of blue menu butter chicken sauce (about 385 Cal), and 250g blue menu lentil, quinoa, rice (420 Cal, expensive).... just under 1230 Cal for the whole 3.68lbs worth of food sitting in my little glass lock container.... plus some 0% greek or sriracha to play with the heat levels... a bit low in protein... but I am sure that by the time I finish the tub of greek yogurt either with this or as desert we will get up there! So I think I am fairly setup for the day!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
    edited April 2023
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    That's quite the daily special there, PAV. Sounds pretty delicious. How is their butter chicken sauce????
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    You can do a quick test by getting their frozen dinner Blue menu butter chicken but for a quick sauce it's actually okay. It does add up to 400 calories though
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,730 Member
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    alas - I read the ingredients and it includes chicken paste? Why oh why was that necessary???

    Today being Sunday involved the cooking up of a massive pot of Green Soup. Lots of green veggies going in this week :) again....
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,927 Member
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    I didn't even know that!!!! :disappointed: