Thoughts, Epiphanies, Insights, & Quotables
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So true Ms. Adventurista! Otta control after holidays. Why does every celebration involve high calorie food? Just makes me want to celebrate every day. 🥺0
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So true Ms. Adventurista! Otta control after holidays. Why does every celebration involve high calorie food? Just makes me want to celebrate every day. 🥺
this!
you know how so many people talk about emotional eating, in articles/advice, yada, yada? i generally am not eating emotions other than cultural habit - how often do we see women eating ice cream and crying in movies.... for example? it's no different than having popcorn at the movies... just what has always been done... that is where the habit of it happens for me.
-- and..... for me, life should be a feast, like a pie eating contest, rootbeer floats on the way home from the beach, homemade strawberry shortcake after picking fresh berries - the 'life should be a feast' reasoning is endless...
i have trouble turning it off... whether just knowing the event occurred or enjoying a treat at the event...
before - used to indulge at the event and the leftovers a week after - think more pumpkin pies after the feast...
now - i am trying to return to regular foods, amounts at the next meal... but my nose is still pressed at the bakery window daydreaming.... that's what's out of control. i wish i could magic wand it!
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@adventurista, I've shared your experience with food and having trouble turning off the 'life shoud be a feast' mentality my whole life. After a celebration or break in my routine (e.g. birthday, vacation, Christmas) it could be literally months before I got back on an even keel with my eating.
For the past two years I seem to have finally gained some measure of control, and this control is triggered by just one thing (as I've said in this group a dozen times or more). That trigger is to absolutely bombard myself with images of colourful, healthy foods (and ideally also people looking happy and having fun while eating those healthy-looking, vibrant nutritious foods) with the food appearing to be secondary to the pleasure of socialising.
I realised this might work for me when I was watching TV one evening in the run-up to Christmas 2021, and an advert came on for Southern Comfort, showing a group of beautiful young people laughing and having fun while clinking glasses of golden-hued Southern Comfort in a cosy ski-lodge in front of a roaring log fire. Now I'm not a great drinker and I don't even like Southern Comfort, but suddenly I was absolutely craving the beverage (so much so that I went out and bought a bottle the next day). It was a eureka moment for me....could I use those advertising methods to trick myself into wanting water, freggies, salads etc? The answer was yes...
The sorts of images I seek out are shown below. Images that make me feel that I want to belong to the lucky few who prefer water over wine, strawberries over chocolate, salad over french fries, a bowl of fresh cherries over apple pie and custard. If I'm lucky, the images flip a switch in my brain and make me actually desire (or even crave) foods like crunchy apples, juicy watermelon, sparkling water, colourful salad, small bowls of sorbet, seafood platters,,,and I lose the craving for over-rich, fat/sugar laden stodge. I say if I'm lucky, because success isn't guaranteed....but more often than not it helps to trigger a mental reset and give me a greater desire to nurture myself well.
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Nope - that doesn’t work for me. Because that means I’d have to actually engage my brain!!! Pictures of food usually makes me wonder what goodies I have stashed away. Generally lettuce, broccoli, veggies never come into MY mind.
Happy people eating=me grabbing a snack to join them. Then we’re all feasting together? Yup - stupid.
Another glitch for ME is trying to reconcile my rapidly approaching expiration date with denying myself the joys of indulgence. Do I go to my final reward regretting not having that chocolate cake or cheesecake or bbq ribs? Yes, I may be extending my life expectancy but at what cost? At nearly 77 years, shouldn’t I be enjoying those dwindling years for all they’re worth?
Right now - in reasonably good health - maintaining a healthier weight is worth the effort. I can travel comfortably, buy happy clothes, not scare small children by my size, not be the biggest person in the room……1 -
Another glitch for ME is trying to reconcile my rapidly approaching expiration date with denying myself the joys of indulgence. Do I go to my final reward regretting not having that chocolate cake or cheesecake or bbq ribs? Yes, I may be extending my life expectancy but at what cost? At nearly 77 years, shouldn’t I be enjoying those dwindling years for all they’re worth?
I totally get this one...and willpower to resist temptation is a finite resource. What I'm trying to do is to eliminate the need for willpower entirely by genuinely learning to prefer strawberries to chocolate, salad to french fries etc. so that a bowl of cherries genuinely feels just as much of a treat/reward/indulgence/pleasure as the chocolate cake/cheesecake/bbq ribs used to.
I truly think food preferences can be influenced and learned....if that wasn't the case, people would never progress from preferring sickly sweet lambrusco to preferring a more challenging complex red wine with plenty of tannins...or progress from preferring a mild, flavourless processed cheese to preferring a complex vintage cheese.
Don't you think a palate/appetite can be be 'educated' to genuinely prefer foods that are more nutritious and nutrient dense? Or am I just kidding myself and chasing a pipe dream?
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Bella_Figura wrote: »Don't you think a palate/appetite can be 'educated' to genuinely prefer foods that are more nutritious and nutrient dense? Or am I just kidding myself and chasing a pipe dream?
I would happily indulge my gourmet self but I live with a man who never gains weight and buys questionable foods, in quantity, on sale. Think a superannuated PAV! After nearly 50 years I’ve checked out of kitchen duty. I give hubby free reign in the kitchen as he loves to cook. He does most of the grocery shopping so I don’t have to run that gauntlet weekly.
I have the same basic breakfast every day and make my own evening meal (usually salads or cereal and yogurt). Midday meals are hubby’s preferences. Foods of his youth. I am careful to keep midday under 500 calories. We do have lots of fresh veg, fruits, generally quality food. But not the exquisite finer foods that you correctly believe would be more satisfying. My palate remains woefully underdeveloped.
So I’ve learned to compromise. Two out of three meals and avoidance of hubby’s snack stash.1 -
So, the other day i posted pic of my street tacos... which were reasonable size, low salt/real food... and absolutely delish... @nicsflyingcircus commented something like 'now that's a feast'
Got me thinking, b/c my 1st thought response was 'no it's not' (in comparison to all the other foods/treats available my brain also wanted.... i had feast envy.
but, the truth was also that the food i chose was utterly delish plus real, nourishing. That is where i try to eat.
I do think we can shift our preferences. It surprised me the first time i drooled for a veggie, and that i get excited to explore new foods and recipes... and that has been a real shift in my thinking.
So, i find myself waffling between old loves and the desire to help my body... and it's a choice i keep having to make.
I cried/sad for days when i released stocking up candy day after holiday when it went 50% off. When i released holiday baking things i could not moderate and had to rebake for gifts and events.
I was killing myself, and i just decided to stop, but again, that is a profound choice i have to make, over and over... it surprises me how much i still struggle, especially after a feast event or whatever habit/memory trigger.
When i had a thought... ok, if i need to release whatever, i wondered 'what can i eat, explore that, embrace the future benefits, treat it like an adventure'. I thought of it as 'seeking incredible edibles - of the kind that will nourish my body and enjoy emotionally.'
-- so @Bella_Figura , yes, i think we can change our droolworthy preferences. Thank you for sharing, gave me much to ponder and reaffirm in my thinking.
-- @Yoolypr - yes... i hear you on age and condition, indulgence and enjoyment... thank you for sharing, also gave me much to ponder.
I think there is a balance to be had, and it seems you have found reasonable ways to moderate... and that's the crux of it... where is your priority...
My gramps lived to 101. He self-regulated with his suit and belt. If tighter, he swapped out dinner dessert for a green salad... he explained when i queried...
... well in the last few months, he enjoyed traditional family treats the family brought him... and there was a rip roaring fight in the family with some who thought... quote... 'he does not need pie!' and i thought 'why the hell not'??? He chose the pie, the schnitzel, the nut cookies for his coffee.... no angst.
In the decades of retirement, he did a large veggie garden, took a walk morning and afternoon, later went to the chair exercise 3x a week - to keep himself able.... as long as he could.
I want that. eating/moving is part of that... i just need to keep choosing... for me. No angst, just do.
Ty for sharing, thoughtful, profound strategies... ♡
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Boy you ladies are deep thinkers! Giving me a headache!!!!
Hmmm.... everyone is right?
Heh, heh, what a cop-out!
But our palette DOES change. I mean I am Mr Candy Bar and yet if I haven't eaten any for a few days they're too sweat! Food that is normal and needs extra salt... is WAY too salty after you've eaten at home cooking from scratch and reduced salt for a week!
But I also acknowledge that I have a "if one is good then two is better" button.
So will I ever eat the super indulgent morsel and be happy with the morsel? A FEW times... but it's real good to have that bag of veggies floating nearby after a day or two of morsels.
I mean the other day after the half chicken... I actually passed on follow up ice cream---and it wasn't because I didn't actually WANT the ice cream for reasons that had nothing to do with hunger....
So I don't think that Bella is barking up the wrong tree. Because our trees are whichever tree works for us and the trees ALSO change over time.
At least for me adjusting over time does come into play. As does educating yourself about yourself1 -
Ooooh I love that expression! I've suffered from that my entire life!Adventurista wrote: »i had feast envy.
I love this too...in fact I love it so much I'm going to appropriate it and use it myself!Adventurista wrote: »'seeking incredible edibles
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It looked a feast to me not because of quantity, but because it looked varied and flavorful!2
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It was, after i adjusted my thinking perspective after your comment...
-- and what is to note, any other day I would have been emotionally satisfied, if i hadn't been diverted from the traditional holiday feast going on at the time.
Better now, for sure
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Much to ponder!
I have to stay far away from 'deprivation' thinking, I cannot set aggressive goals or I will work against myself. I feel like I'm a split personality at times, one voice is mockingly rational about the excess calories I have obviously consumed, and wants me to get on with it - the other jealously guards every calorie and counts every 'sacrifice' and feels entitled to splurge, particularly around holidays and such because come on! What kind of martyr and slave to numbers have I become/do I want to be...Coupled with the 'no fair' background noise and occasional bouts of '*#%! it' impulse brought on by my slow pace of loss...it's a constant mental battle. For me.
On the flip side, I am eating better than I have ever - more variety and healthful, for sure - but being a foodie, indeed indulging being a foodie, I sometimes wonder if it's the best way to go for weightloss.
All that cooking, shopping, measuring, planning and recipe hunting keeps me very food obsessed. But little by little I feel the tide is turning in my favour, appetite-wise, and many snack foods have largely (but not entirely) lost their appeal.
Certainly keeping my fridge and cupboards well stocked with healthy and more healthful alternatives has been my coping mechanism, but it does mean I risk bingeing on those 'more healthful but still snack food' that are on hand at any moment. They have to be pleasing enough, but not too tempting?? Tightrope. 🤔3 -
@BCLadybug888 nods, you have just spoke my thought jumbles.... that push pull between control and focusing on beautiful foods... i almost think of it as whispering... more effective for me than white knuckling.
Issue: Over the years, have dealt with (medical especially) people who look at me like i'm an alien irl when i try to express any of this complex tangled problem blcladybugg888 expressed when the medical person expects me to just lose weight, exercise, take meds and control food (thinking of medical situations). Don't understand why i struggle, then consider me non-compliant and or show non-verbal disdain...
They ask a simple question. If i try to give a sincere reply, the reply is the complex jumble. Weirdly, i get better interactions if i nod, smile, say ok.
I hope, someday, there is recognition that all this deserves compassionate support.2 -
I am no where near ideal weight but have lost over 100 pounds over time. So I’m in the range of an overweight old lady. It’s amazing how much more responsive and respectful physicians are now. In the past, I often couldn’t get medical folks to listen because it seemed obvious to them that every symptom was weight related.
I put up with the same dismissive doctor for years. Finally I had enough and I found a new doctor who worked with me on losing weight. She’s a gem! Convinced hubby to switch to her too.1 -
Ty Yoolypr. I am glad you found a helpful, positive doc!
Words just can't express how pervasive and insidious it is. To make matters worse, discussion and problem unrecognized/acknowledged and outright dismissed... even by people in same boat.
replies range... oh, i don't have that problem, i haven't seen it or turned back on themself with self-denigrating self-criticism... can't help myself, don't know what's wrong with me equating to i'm so bad, leads to vicious guilt remorse cycle.
Just gets internalized, almost as if we pick up where others leave off... and so widespread from strangers, acquaintances, family/friends, workplace, social, trusted professionals...
It takes an act of self-courage to counteract/negate it within our own self-talk, and strength to address it with anyone... almost similar to standing up against any discrimination or bully situation... stand up for understanding, change the situation, walk away or suffer continued contact as change or walking away is not always possible...
but we can always change it within our own self-talk and refuse to accept the guilt, shame or remorse.
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Soon it will be a year since my flu, Covid and RSV shots. I was hoping to get vaccinated prior to our trip to Alaska in September. But apparently nothing will be available in time. Lots of handwashing???1
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What they can't shoot you?!?!?!!
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What they can't shoot you?!?!?!!
Current Covid shots are out of production. That’s because the pharmas are concentrating on making the new formula based on the new mutation of Covid. That’s set for release in late September. Same with flu shots. If I could find sources of the last year’s vaccines, it would not be the formula for new expected strains. And then I would have to delay getting the updated versions for at least 4-6 months.
The RSV is a toss up - need to check with doc to see if another shot is actually necessary.1 -
What about new pneumonia shot they give even if previous/old shot happened?
Have heard of increased covid, but think main flu season is late fall/winter?
I'd do same things as avoiding cold flues. Don't sit next to or eat with people who show symptoms, wash hands, don't touch face, don't be too afraid and enjoy.1 -
Well avoidance is a problem. There will be airports, long flights, cruise ship…. So yeah- lots of sanitizer and hand washing.1
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Stole this from another thread:
Love it!3 -
UGH.
<rant that has to do with the world the universe and the time it takes to produce things... as if I don't already know they are doing it as fast as they can>
Why don't they have it ready for September? We wait for back to school, most vacations (including Yooly's and probably mine just like last year), we go past Canadian Thanksgiving... and then they happily announce: it's here, come and get it... after everyone's already gotten sick!1 -
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Anybody heard from Laurie or Ms. Tea? I’m kind of worried about their long silence. Hope they’re okay 🙏1
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Ms Tea... I wonder about. Ms Laurie we haven't heard much but then again she has a whole WHACK LOAD of work to do if my general sense antennae are tracking right! So her laying low is not completely unexpected. But Ms Tea?1
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Still missing our Laurie! And concerned about Ms. Tea. Been very quiet around here lately. 🥺1
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dunno 2 -
I am off on vacation for 10 days, going a few hours away by car to a lake. With wifi lol. So I will be around.
Looking forward to hearing about Laurie's adventures!2 -
BCLadybug888 wrote: »I am off on vacation for 10 days, going a few hours away by car to a lake. With wifi lol. So I will be around.
Looking forward to hearing about Laurie's adventures!
Thanks for checking in. I was starting to hear crickets 🦗 here! Everyone is busy or vacationing.1 -
Ok - now I’m officially concerned about PAV too. 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗1
