Thoughts, Epiphanies, Insights, & Quotables
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Thank you!
It will be
The two encounters with women who ate "normally" was illuminating. Reading the "stash descriptions" was too. I realize I need to do something about my messed up relationship with food.
I'll be away for 6 or 7 weeks. Will try not to worry too much about what I "shouldn't" eat. That might be a good beginning. Shame is a very poor motivator. Just seems to backfire. I need to get past that.3 -
My stash is stupid but in general when I'm "upset" I buy the longest best before date items I can!
So...let me get my head around this. When you are "upset" and buy stash stuff. You buy with long term thoughts in mind - and it is a longish term if you have a "stash." What kind of quantities do you buy? Do you binge'ish" when it arrives in your possession - but you just buy enough to last past the binge stage? Or is there always some around so you don't have that response to treat foods arriving? HOW DID YOU GET THERE????????2 -
@lauriekallis ~ safe travels!
have read snackage with interest - it has been an evolving thing for me. I would love to be able to keep a candy dish like dad did or a snack drawer like sil or my boss who had a dedicated bin in the fridge... but just can't. if I bring it/anything in the house, it displaces real, nourishing food until it has been demolished... same goes for baking goodies... post-holiday candy sales, bogo sales @ the bakery. and not for the lack of trying or practice - i have just had to step away and release these kinds of things... until later, if ever, I could eat normally, say in an 80/20 moderation.
Current snackage on hand as part of everyday food; ritz/saltine crackers, variety single serv packages of roasted nuts, jar nut butters, dried plums, dried craisins, super dark 90/95% chocolate bars, mini-size street taco tortillas, whipped cream, cheese, clementine, schoolboy apples, sm bananas, seasonal fruit. 0 cal sodapop. Batchcooked ahead mixed veggies to heat & eat. A lot of my Snackage often is smaller versions of leftovers on hand.
regarding travel snackage... as a child, we had treats, someway, somewhere, wherever we went - so that became the thing. diets always before/after but unrestricted during travel or other events, always... Not good. Have worked to embrace making similar to real choices at home or from available drive thru. Sometimes a stop @ a grocery to pick up single serve things like cheese sticks, yogurt, piece of fruit, salad bar/deli offerings. And, like 1 typical meal/snack instead of unrestricted. Ongoing practice with this.1 -
lauriekallis wrote: »Shame is a very poor motivator. Just seems to backfire. I need to get past that.
This is very true, at least in my personal experience. I don't binge very ofen these days - maybe just a half a dozen isolated days per year instead of the weeks of uninterrupted binging of my teens and 20s - but when that urge hits me, I've learned that I simply can't control it. I just have to ride it out and try to mentally reset so that I'm ready to make better choices the next day.
For me, that mental reset comes from positive reinforcement rather than from negative bombardment. Negativity just doesn't work. I need positive reasons to make the good choices, so that choosing well isn't something I MUST do, but something that gives me a surge of genuine joy and pleasure. Although I'm not vegan I follow several vegans - and especially French/Italian/Spanish vegans - on Instagram because they post pictures of food that looks healthy, vibrant, and attractive ..when I see the photos it makes me WANT to eat food like that, and makes me remember that I feel good physically, mentally and emotionally when I nuture myself well...whereas the day of a binge (and for a day or two afterwards) I feel physically rubbish....not just mentally rubbish because of useless emotions such as guilt or shame, but genuinely, physically below par, with a queasy tummy and acid reflux....the vibrant food photos remind me of that...
Here's the sort of positive reinforcement I'm talking about....
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@Bella_Figura ~ same here... I was surprised the 1st time I drooled at the thought of veggies and stumbling across a multi-color kale @ the store was an exciting thing, I just had to buy & try. I discovered embracing the positive is profoundly more helpful than white knuckling for me too, and for similar reason - to nourish/help my body (born out of the recognition that I don't want to hurt my body.)
-- I stumbled on the thought when I was quitting smoking and mourning/grieving the quitting of something I enjoyed socially but needed to quit for my body. My thought was what if I started looking for the benefits of quitting instead of what I was missing.....
-- and inspired by Helen Keller thereafter... as I had to keep making that choice again, over and over after every crash... I likened it to looking back, sitting in a chair. Getting up, turning the chair around and looking forward. Same with food... That shift in approach, to get up, dust off, try more, seek food that is joyful and good for our body -- well eventually, that became my go to approach, and I sometimes need to consciously think it, do it, all the time... It is so different from dwelling in the sorrow of the crash... Although I will say that I do still grieve for things - when I choose to turn and explore nourishing foods.
my next adventure is a no knead focaccia bread - will be looking at flour options soon from a local grainery.
a fav frozen summer snack - frozen banana bites, dark chocolate, chopped nuts - similar to these.
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lauriekallis wrote: »Shame is a very poor motivator. Just seems to backfire. I need to get past that.
triple that - especially when applied by others... makes me want to eat more. Seems shaming or worse is still widespread at all levels of society/media... it does not help me, it triggers a 'bite me' response of anger that then triggers a dive into food response....
-- what surprised the heck out of me was to realize that we often take up where others left off and beat ourselves up as bad or worse... Stopping that takes a real shift in mindset - inner positive self-uptalk... I think the negative becomes a deeply ingrained habit - and if we believe it, then we are terrible - so how in the world could we ever actually lose weight, keep it off?
I had to elevate self-acceptance, help/accept myself over and above weight loss. If I never lose weight, well so be it... I REFUSE to beat myself up.... Just like anything else, I can and I will pursue my dreams - and my dreams, me, myself and I are as worthy of love, acceptance, life, health, family, friends, jobs, and everything else we call life... As much as anyone with any hair color deserves life.... We need to claim that, and hold onto it. We are worth it.
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Focaccia i want to try (snagged from forum meals discussion)
Quote...
A focaccia. This recipe is easiest to do in the evening to make a weekend morning treat as the dough needs a quick stretch every 30 minutes for two hours before going into the fridge overnight for a slow prove.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O1WQTKuWWfM 1 -
I have a simplistic method of thinking or dealing with snacks. Would I feed this to a dog or cat? Would I allow a pet to eat this unrestrictedly? If I wouldn’t give this to my beloved pet, why am I serving this to myself?
I’m not speaking of quantity because humans eat more than most pets. It’s the quality of the food. Is it not harmful to let your puppy eat cream cakes, donuts, chips, candy, unlimited fatty foods? I have read how PAV’s puppy must have a special diet to stay well which he readily prepares for her.
This obviously doesn’t always work or come to mind. Like some pets I’ll get into the garbage can at times and give myself an upset stomach! But for the most part it keeps the quality/quantity of my snacking a bit better. Why treat myself worse than I would a furry friend?
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Good concept @Yoolypr
2 that help me (because change is 2 part, releasing the old plus embracing the new.)
Release
I would not put my hand on a red hot stove,
Embrace
I can do this
(current focus to choose nourishing food that i also like/emotionally satisfies. I never have to eat anything that revolts me, lol)2 -
Yes, most of my regular stash are stocking myself with 'goodies' that I can convince myself are goodies, but are in fact decent choices still, albeit they are often packaged processed foods.
My calorie allotment is primarily consumed with meals made with unprocessed ingredients, so the snacks just don't fit, but they're there, just in case...because I wouldn't trust myself in a store when the urge hits...I would not be choosing the 'better' options in that state. I can, of course, still overeat...trail mix, cheese, nuts come to mind.
I find intermittent fasting /time restricted eating version helps me with this as I work.hard on an attitude and habit of 'the kitchen is closed' in the evening and then want to have a 14+ fast period before eating again, and I think about how late will I need to wait to eat the next day before eating the night before. I won't go below a 12 hour fast, that's a personal hard & fast rule.
I always measure and record foods, doesn't mean I can't measure out some more or change my entry, but that practice helps me too.
And 0 calorie beverages are my friend after the kitchen is closed!4 -
The stashing is not primarily focused on goodies. They are a side effect not the primary cause. It is general. I mean I don't get one 12 pack of pop. I come back with 12 x 12 packs. Between a bowl of noodle soup and a 12 pack... it's a 12 pack! Same applies, I guess, to candy
It's a mixed bag. It would be a lie to say that I don't over do it at times. But most of the times I do stay within calories. It helps that the budget is often in the 3K range. So 1000K of chocolate... still leaves room for nutrition. So I'm "cheating" in a sense. BUT missing on the beauty of the dishes Bella and our adventure lady create! 2 -
Ohhhhh to have 3000 calories a day to budget with - or even 2000! I walk on average 16,000 steps a day, cycle 250km a week, work at my allotment for at least 10 hours each week from April to October and set reminders on my phone to get up and move for at least 10 minutes each otherwise sedentary hour, and all that activity nudges me to a TDEE of 1800 calories...
My TDEE at a SailRabbit's 'sedentary' activity level (Little or No Exercise, Moderate Walking, Desk Job (Away from Home)) would be just below 1400 calories. Sometimes it sucks being female, 5'1" and almost 60....4 -
@Adventurista, if you like baking no-knead Italian breads, this recipe for a no-knead Pagnotta works every single time. It's the best recipe I've ever found (and I've tried plenty!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-Zv60bkSME&t=54s
She also has a recipe for a fast and easy focaccia, but I've not tried the recipe yet...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8d21Mc2V64 2 -
@Bella_Figura ~ ty. Will look at those too. I find myself nodding with everything and same with @BCLadybug888 ... it's good to know/meet other people dealing with these issues too.
@PAV8888 ~ i stock up on sales and staples too. The 70's toilet paper shortages inform my buying to this day, then repeat shortages the last few years, crazy. Re snackage, seems you can 'moderate' when you have on hand. I wish. It's a dream/goal
i do think foods move back and forth between can and can't moderate. I need to respect it when i can't and just put it in a time out zone until i can again.4 -
Adventurista wrote: »i do think foods move back and forth between can and can't moderate. I need to respect it when i can't and just put it in a time out zone until i can again.
So many ideas and experiences here to consider - wow this group is wonderful!
This struck me, Adventurista, because I like the flexibility of the thinking. And I love the word "moderate" rather than "control" - it feels less like something that my hamsters would feel the need to rebel against!
So much good food for thought.
Oh I love those pictures Bella - and the idea to focus on the goodness! I know these things, I really do, but sometimes they get lost in the white noise of life.
Thank you all for sharing.
I love your shopping approach, PAV!1 -
But trust me it is a come down when I get to play in Bella's league TDEE the other day barely licked 2K and I was crying in my soup!
(well more like "leaking" into the poor soup but I figure crying is less graphical regarding the red nosed reindeer) Am I the only guy who thinks colds are a BIG DEAL?!?!?!?! <runs and hides> 2 -
ALL guys make a big deal about being sick. 🤧 Most women - especially if they’ve birthed a baby or two - have learned to suck it up and carry on.1
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You mean there's more terrible things than a MAN COLD???🤯🤯🤯1
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MAN COLDS are pretty fierce from all accounts; as a woman, I wouldn't really know...😇
Get well soon Pav!2 -
Thank you colocational inspiration for your discerning understanding of the gravity of the situation. Swiftly disappearing reserves had to be replaced by Costco infusion but I'm somewhat resisting!
Instead of going in with buggy I just hit a beef dog and Pepsi zero At the food court and have now gone for a walk to explain to me that my throat is probably not ready for a twist cone!
At least my glasses are fixed! 🤷♂️
If I cave in on the cone it may end up costing me 754g of preplanned bunnies that were infused with 5oz of beef brisket (1050Cal ready to be warmed waiting at home)1
