widows and widowers welcome
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A Madeliene is a yummy morsel of flaky, cakey goodness. They're also very beautiful. We eat with our eyes first, you know!!!
I fully intend to be back here on Tuesday logging. In fact, I'm logging today. I'll be interrupted by two barbecues this weekend, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I have not idea why.
I'm just gonna go with it.
But!!! Full disclosure ... I officially quit my gym today. I realized that if I'm already making excuses to not go, I'm wasting my money. I'm going to develop a strength training regimen at home and increase my walking time.
I can do this.
Have a lovely Labor Day weekend everyone! See you Tuesday!
Julie0 -
Hi ladies!
Are we back on track? I have to admit that I spent yesterday purposefully getting rid of any and all of the left over Labor Day barbecue food. Somebody had to do it. Being a widow ... that means me.
So today I started my day with my kale and blueberry soothie and an planning my weekly menus in my head. Gotta back off the red meat (which was really good, by the way ... don't eat much of it!)
One way to eat less is to get a big ol' honkin toothache! I got my first-ever toothache on Monday and have never felt such pain in my life. I was at the dentist at 7:00 a.m. on Tuesday and he said the tooth was fine, it's only tissue, and gave me a Rx for antibiotics. I could feel his eyes telling me I'm a big baby. But it hurt. I'm better today, but I dislike taking antibiotics. Makes me tired.
Anyway ... I digress. Back on track. I didn't walk today since I'm on drugs and can't get up early enough, but that will change.
How about everyone else? Are we committed to this? Time to get ready for fall?0 -
Hi ladies! JulieGo I am getting there. Today is the 1 year anniversary of my husband's death. With fighting cancer for 3 1/2 years, this was a very bittersweet moment. I didn't want to lose him, but I didn't want him to be in pain and not be able to live life. And he hadn't really been living life for 6 months or so. I had looked back at some pictures from a few weeks before he passed away and I could not believe what I saw. I don't remember him looking that bad. Crazy mind will do anything to survive the moment.
I hope you all are doing well. I took my boys camping with family and friends. I was going to come home Sunday but stopped to see some friends and ended up staying until Monday. I was having a mind argument about should I stay or should I go and I finally decided to stay because I didn't have anything to go home to. Laundry and cleaning will still be there. The fact that we stayed meant that my oldest son tried tubing behind a boat and I even got out there with him. We had so much fun. Then I stayed up until 3 am and visited with one of my best friends. Perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.
Talk care everyone!
Becky0 -
Beckster,
My husband passed after only 3 months from diagnosis, but I know what you mean about the pictures. I thought he looked "normal" before he died, I guess because I had seen him every day. His son had come for a visit a couple of weeks before he died. We had taken pictures that I didn't get developed until a couple of weeks after the funeral. I had the same reaction when I saw the pictures. I couldn't believe he had looked that bad and I hadn't noticed! I literally broke down in tears.
Glad you survived the first anniversary. That is a tough one. And also glad you had a great vacation with the family. Hang in there. It does get better.
Hope everyone is doing well, eating well, and exercising!!!!
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Hi ladies.
Becky ... it sounds like you handled your one-year very well. Mine is coming up. October 1 will be one year and my Bill passed very suddenly. I have no idea how I'm going to handle it. I've been getting kind of emotional lately and if that's any indication, I might just plan to take the day off work and just let my feelings happen.
That said ... I'm back on track with my eating (finally). It seems like summer was one long excuse!!! Barbecue here, drinks with friends there, something. I've become more motivated because I don't want to slip back into old habits and I see it happening. The scale is also creeping. (I haven't recorded it here. Can't bear to move that number the wrong way).
So ... let's make fall a good one. The weather is changing and it's not too hot to get outside. (Except it's really good sleeping-in weather!!!).
Happy Thursday.
Julie0 -
Hi everyone
I bought a weed trimmer today. I hate to admit it but I never mowed the lawn. (When I got married 35 years ago I never started it cause as you all know once you start a job it is yours forever). I live in the country and so we had a huge lawn and my husband being a farmer had a small tractor for a mower which I never drove.
I sold that tractor and bought a zero turn that my son in law bought to mow the yard with. But I am going to tackle it and the weed trimmer and edger. I am not going to have my son in law mow the yard too. There is no reason that I can't mow it. I bought a Ryobi lithium battery trimmer that is alot lighter than the heavy huge gas trimmer my husband had. Well time will tell. My yard might look like it has been chewed up but I live in the country so not alot of people see it anyway. It has been so dry here that I have not had to worry about it. If I do not like to mow then I will hire a young boy who wants a job but we'll see.
What I try to do is get up early and do my exercise and get it over with. That way it is done and if I have time later in the evening then I walk with the dog.
Take care and good luck with the diet and exercise.
Dinah0 -
JulieGo, The first anniversary is hard. Do whatever you have to do to make it through that time. If taking off work and letting the emotions flow is what you want to do, I say, go for it. I was very emotional leading up to the day and then the actual day wasn't as "bad" as I expected it to be. I planted a tree in his honor and had a little private ceremony, talked to him, and cried all I wanted! I just needed to be alone. Others need to be around people and try to occupy themselves so they don't think about it too much. We are all different. So do what is right for you.
Glad to hear you are getting back in gear watching your food intake. I'm like you....not putting weight gains on the ticker. I did before I put it out for everyone to see because I liked to see the general trend, even if there were some bumps in there. But I feel if I do now and then MFP tells everyone I've lost a pound and I get kuddos for it that they are undeserved, since it's the same pound over and over.
Dinah, How did you do with the weed trimming? I still sometimes make a mess and I've been doing it for years. I have a hard time judging how far I am from the ground and then when the string hits the ground at full power, it goes wherever it wants to go. It just takes practice to get used to it. I think it is a good sign that you are trying to take over these jobs. Good luck with that.
Hope everyone is doing well, getting some exercise, and eating well!!! Have a great rest of the weekend.
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Hi everyone.
It seems like a trend right now for us widows to be pulling out our husband's yard equipment and gardening stuff. Another widow's website that I belong to was filled with the same type of posts. Must be the time of year or something.
I sold many of Bill's tools and only kept what I can use. I also have a gardener. I take care of the potted plants and my vegetable garden, but the gardener and his staff do the mowing, edging, trimming and weeding in the front yard. Mow and edge the back yard. I could probably mow, but I work full time and don't want to spend half my weekend on that type of yard work. I'd rather do the girly kind of yard work that involves planting flowers and picking tomatoes.
Anyway ... I'm stalling here. Can you tell? I still haven't gotten into the habit of logging my food again. I don't know why, except that I tend to eat the same type of things daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm walking in the morning and finally starting to do some strength training after work. I really want to start incorporating some yoga into my plan. Anyone else do yoga? I'd like to share some ideas about that.
Have a good week. It's Wednesday already ... that's how committed I am!0 -
Hello all,
I am a 55 year old widow. I lost my husband of 28 years in Aug. 2011, to cancer. He was diagnosed in Feb. and died in Aug. We always just said "It is was it is" and kept trying for normal as long as we could.
The worst time for me is in the evening. We talked and laughed and shared a lot. I find I have no one to share that joke with or that interesting piece of information or what's going on with the presidential election and such. That is also when I am likely to eat everything in the refrigerator.
I wouldn't say I am as lonely as I am alone. I have no children but have 2 four-legged ones. I am so lucky to still have my 88 year old mother close by. I am a 'stay at home' girl and do a lot of church and community work. Since January I have lost 58 lbs. and need to lose another 75-85.
I work with a trainer 5 days a week and of course, diet.
When my husband was in treatment, we had to eat clean and chemical-free. So I got used to it and still try for the organic and healthy choices.
I listened to all the experts and didn't make many changes this year.
Well, almost no changes. Getting fit was long over due and I'm glad I started.
Hope to get to know ya'll.0 -
Welcome FitNew, I'm very sorry for your loss. Cancer is such a horrible disease. I got involved with Relay For Life after my husband passed away from brain cancer. I just got home last night from a Relay For Life Summit in Nashville, TN. Got some great information to hopefully help our local Relay be bigger and better next year!
I think we all have those times of the day that are hardest for us. Mine was (not bad now, after 6 years) first thing in the morning because my husband would get up before me, have the coffee brewed, and then come sit on the edge of the bed, hold my hand, give me a kiss and we'd talk about our plans for the day before I got up. I sure missed that.
I also know what you mean about feeling alone, but not lonely. I felt that way too.
Congratulations on all the weight you have lost. Keep up the good work and keep us informed as to how you are doing.0 -
Hello! I am looking for some support and motivation in getting back on track with eating healthy and exercising daily. I was doing great and near my goal weight when my dear husband died unexpectedly on my 31st birthday (April 7th, 2012). I continued to lose weight initially because I wasn't eating, but starting in June I started gaining. I think I pretty much gained everything I lost last year. It really makes me upset. I am definitely an emotional eater.. and I tend to drink as a coping mechanism too. I have two young children ages 4 and 18 months. I returned to work full time last month. It has been a good thing for me, but I'm still lacking motivation. I can't seem to force myself to make better choices.0
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Hello everyone
Last February my husband and I were given custody of his 14 year old grandson. On our way back to Fl from AL (where court was) he died. Although my husband had a lot of health issues, I never expected to be raising a teenager at this stage of life especially since I never had children.
I am 61 and have always been heavy. I need to lose about 70lbs. I am visually impaired so I don't drive. I am also a breast cancer survivor of 7 years. I try to stay positive but somedays I just don't feel like doing anything. We were together for 25 years and did everything together.
Ok...enough for now. Thanks for listening.
Kathy0 -
Lois, I feel so badly for you. I'm sure you can do this....raise the grandson and lose the weight. You survived cancer. You can survive this too. It won't always be a bed of roses, but you can do it. Even though I don't know you, I just feel it in my soul.
adkarg, I also feel badly for you. I can't imagine having to raise 2 small ones by myself, but there are others on here who have that same circumstance, so I'm sure they will be wonderful support for you. I had the same issue with weight after my husband died. I couldn't eat and lost a lot, but about a year later started gaining and got to the heaviest I've ever been before I got serious about losing again. I am now close to my goal weight. If I can do it, I'm sure you can too.
You both have my deepest sympathies! I also congratulate both of you for taking the first step to becoming healthier. I suggest you find an exercise that fits with your schedule that you enjoy, or at least don't hate, start slow, and log your calories. You'll be surprised at how fast the pounds will come off. The exercise will also help you emotionally....at least it did me. Good luck and come back to this site often to update us on how you are doing....physically and emotionally. We care.0 -
Hello All:
In January of 2011 my husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. He died several weeks later on March 5. I have two sons, (17 and one who will become a teenager on Monday). It's been a difficult adjustment for us, but my older son has taken it the hardest. We were on auto-pilot for awhile, then it seemed things fell apart. Additionally, three months ago my mother died. And the day after that, we put down our dog. So, my family has been through a lot over the last couple of years. Being an emotional eater, I gained a lot weight through all of this. Just a few weeks ago, the boys and I joined the Y and I started using MFP again. I am just started to feel I can get a handle on making some permanent lifestyle changes. However, I am also fearful that they won't stick, like every other time I've tried. I strongly feel the need to improve my health as I am gettng older and want to be around and fit for my sons. I am looking to get and give support , so please feel free to add me.
- All the Best0 -
Wow ToobieFit, Your family really has been through a lot in the last couple of years. You have my deepest sympathies. My husband passed away in 2006, 3 months after we found out he had brain cancer. It was the toughest thing I have ever been through and the toughest I expect I ever will go through. I didn't have any children of my own, but my husband had 2 who were grown when we got married. They have children, so I have 5 step-grand kids...all who live in FL with me in TN. Anyway, my point was, that I don't know what it is like to try to raise children on your own, esp teenage boys. I hope you have a good support system around you. Also, I know some of the people on this site can help with suggestions....others in your situation.
I am an emotional eater too, so expected to gain weight after John died, but did the opposite. I didn't eat hardly anything for months. Nothing tasted good. So, I lost a lot of weight, but started putting it back on quickly after about a year. I got to my highest weight ever and decided enough was enough. I knew from past experiences that counting calories was the only way I could lose, so I started consistently using MFP. With tracking calories and exercising....I've started running and play tennis, I have lost 24 pounds since the end of Dec 2011. I'm sure you can do this. You want to for all the right reasons. Just stick with it, even when the scale doesn't move. It will eventually. Those scales can be MEAN. :devil:
I have sent you a friend request. I'll do my best to support you any way I can. Good luck and have a great day!0 -
Hi all.
I seem to have missed a couple of new people joining our group. I'm sorry. I've been slacking horribly.
Enough about me.
Kathy - raising a grandson right after your husband dies? You're my hero. You can do it. Listen to Quilter. She's the best motivator in the group!
Toobefit - Wow. A lot for your family to go through. I don't know if I'd still be standing after all of that. But ... we are, aren't we? Try to stop by often for support. It's a good system if you use it.
Adkard - you've had a horrible year also. I can't imagine being such a young widow and having small children to take care of. Be careful with your emotional drinking. I leaned that direction right after my husband died last October and it could have gone horribly wrong. I still eat emotionally, and when I'm bored ... but a lot of us do that.
My story is simple. I've been fighting weight gain ever since I stepped into my 30s. Now I'm in my 50s, my husband died last year and it's also affecting my health in all the usual ways (sore knees, fatigue, etc). So I have many reasons to drop the weight and exercise. I lack motivation also and that's why I've come back here to get some perspective.
All of us can help each other here. Remain consistent and log the calories and exercise.
It couldn't hurt!!!
Julie0 -
Julie, I'm glad you came back. I tend to forget to check this site sometimes, so sorry when I do. Are you exercising? I know you quit your :devil: trainer. Hope you have found a way to motivate yourself to keep going and doing what needs to be done.
I see you have lost 30 pounds. That's GREAT! Keep up the good work!
I was on vacation and went to a conference, so I didn't get much exercise for 2 weeks. I was afraid I'd be out of shape again, but, to my surprise, I am able to run almost the same pace as I did 3 weeks ago. I'm glad I didn't keep putting off getting back into it like I started to. The hardest step was the one getting me out of the door.
Hope you all have a great rest of the week! :flowerforyou:0 -
Hello everyone,
Been away for awhile. I lost my internet, so all I could get was on my phone. The phone version doesn't have access to the community page (or I couldn't figure it out), so I couldn't keep up, at least when I was at home. Not the best answer for not logging my food, , but I will get back on track. I have been so busy and overwhelmed at work that I just couldn't think. I have had several key employee changes, moved my work location across town to save on rent, changed several pieces of equipment and all of the changes that go along with that and to be honest, I just couldn't think about anything other than that. I have been burning the midnight oil with working early, late and weekends.
So why now? Well I got my internet fixed at home, I finished the move of my business, (although not unpacked, just moved) and I think if I don't force myself to slow down and start thinking about me, I'm going to explode. It's funny, every step of the way with moving my business I found something else of my husbands. We have had several small businesses during our whole married life and now it's mine to make or break. There was memory after memory that I found in boxes, files, drawers and cupboards. With the busyness directly in my face, I also had to unfold every memory of my marriage and decide to move it, store it or throw it away. It was harder (emotionally) than I thought it would be. I'm heading down today to sort through more boxes, so more stuff will come up. some good, some horrible . . .
Haven't weighted myself for about a month. I think I will mustard that courage this week.
I haven't read all of the posts I've missed, but I will make a point now and catch up . This site is very supportive and I'm sorry I've been gone.
Susan0 -
Susan,
You have a very good reason for having not been on lately. I'm sure that once you get everything re-situated that you will be back on this site regularly.
I'm sure that finding all of those items from your marriage was very emotionally draining. It sounds like you are handling it very well. I have faith that you WILL get back on track soon.
Hope everyone is doing well. I had a fever on Thursday evening and now can't talk today, but feel much better. I think it is just something that is going around. And, I think being in good shape has helped it to not take too big of a toll on me.
Have a great evening. Let us know how you are doing. :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi All
I just wanted to check in and see how folks are doing. I usually use MFP on my phone, so I haven't kept up with the posts (but will read them). I did the Alzheimer's walk last weekend in memory of my mother. The week leading up to it was rough as I thought of my mom a lot, which also gets me thinking about my husband, my dad ( who passed in 2000), and even the dog.
I have been keeping up with tracking my food and exercising, which to me is a miracle. In the past when I've gotten in a funk, the diet and exercise went out the window. I am still dealing with the grief and teenagers and an unsatisfying job and a home that almost could be on an episode of Hoarders, but this time I seem able to feel the feelings without going too far off the rails. I had a binge the other day, but it was with healthier food and of a shorter duration than usual. I also went to a favorite burger joint recently and just had a burger with lettuce and tomato, no fries and shake as usual. The next time I ate out, I had my usual meal, but without guilt because I knew it was an exception and didn't make me ditch my whole program.
I'm starting to feel that I can do this and will get down to my goal weight this time. In addition to MFP, I use Nexercise and am taking a diabetes prevention course at the Y which help keep me on track.
Reading the posts here have inspired me. I would like to do more volunteer work and expand my support system. I am pretty much a loner and need to make an effort to reach out more. I'm hoping with more weight loss I'll have more energy to spend time with the kids, volunteer and get my apartment together (anyone familiar with the FLYLady?).
All the Best,
Toobie 0
