March/April BED Conversation Thread
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Hello all,
Last night I had to fight the fine fight of urges to binge. Went to grocery store and did not pick up any candy bars or junk food. I overate last night but must have not did so to the excess becasue I was hungry this morning. I save calories in case I get the munchies and have low cal stuff on hand. I try to eat fruit but that does not always work and/or try cleaning up stomething getting busy.
Richie,
Godo job on that chicken. I don't even buy anymore because I know i will eat more than 2 pieces. I have learned I am willing to pay more for a serving size now. I know a rotesseire chicken cost as much as a 2 pc chicken at KFC but I will take the later everytime because I don't want to chance binge or overeating.
Have a good day all!!0 -
Money issues is always a stressor for me too. Well you said it best a rookie mistakeMollie, that is still great since I could probably binge on 1-2 boxes of GS cookies, too!
Richie, one step at a time--I love rotisserie chicken so it would be tough for me to take the skin off! Nice job logging it.
Jade- Hope you get some rest today so you can be back at the exercise in full force soon :-)
I made a rookie mistake yesterday--I had some snacks within reaching distance while I was having a financial discussion with my fiance. We do that about once a month to make sure we're on track with saving for our wedding, etc. It's a great idea in the long run, but who doesn't get stressed out talking about money? Silly me had some peanuts nearby. I went over my pre-logged day but I still moved on. I exercise a lot so it is hard for me to eat below 2,000 calories a day, but one day at a time.
can't eat what you don't have in house and nuts have always been a binger for me. I can eat almonds in moderation and keep near buy. I count them out and eat only 1 serving. Keep being mindful is all we can do. We are not going to be perfect that is for sure. Consistency not perfection. 0 -
Yesterday was another successful day even though I was over on calories again. I logged them all, I exercised, and I didn't binge. Life was pretty stressful yesterday. I made the mistake of waiting too long to eat after lunch, and the next thing I knew it was 7pm and I was starving and on the run. Then I had to go pick my little brother (age 17) up from work at 9:45 because he and my other brother (age 21) are fighting so badly (drama!) and he refuses to help anymore w/ chauffering him. But he didn't get out until closer to 10:30 and we still had to drive all the way back to my house (30 min away) because he was spending the night. Waiting makes me very anxious, so I was quite on edge by the time he got to the car. Plus I was sooo tired and was thinking about having to leave at 7am to take him to school today. I just wanted my pillow by then. Having a house guest in a one bedroom apartment definitely wards off bingeing urges.0
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Thank you all for continuing to write here. We are helping ourselves by focusing on our behavior patterns and we are helping each other by sharing our experiences.0
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Yesterday was another successful day even though I was over on calories again. I logged them all, I exercised, and I didn't binge. Life was pretty stressful yesterday. I made the mistake of waiting too long to eat after lunch, and the next thing I knew it was 7pm and I was starving and on the run. Then I had to go pick my little brother (age 17) up from work at 9:45 because he and my other brother (age 21) are fighting so badly (drama!) and he refuses to help anymore w/ chauffering him. But he didn't get out until closer to 10:30 and we still had to drive all the way back to my house (30 min away) because he was spending the night. Waiting makes me very anxious, so I was quite on edge by the time he got to the car. Plus I was sooo tired and was thinking about having to leave at 7am to take him to school today. I just wanted my pillow by then. Having a house guest in a one bedroom apartment definitely wards off bingeing urges.
Good job on logging it all and no binge because that was a lot to contend with. Hang in there. Hugs!
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Diane that sounds stressful. Hang in there! Family drama is the worst. Great job continuing to log.
I am leaving for Savannah, GA this evening after my class. Tonight is my first Friday evening session of my Ethics class that will take place every other weekend between now and May. I am beginning to think I must have been drugged when I signed up for a weekend class, lol. At least it will be over with soon enough.
Yesterday as part of my half marathon training I did my very first 3 mile treadmillrun since January. It kicked my butt and I had to stop to walk a few times. But I kept going and was able to finish in about 36 minutes. I find it much easier to run outside than on the treadmill, but I work out at lunchtime in the gym because I get too sweaty outside. So I am hoping to do some strength training today at lunch, walking in Savannah Saturday, and a 4 mile jog/walk on Sunday. I am determined to get exercise in on vacation.
Today was supposed to be my rest day since I was supposed to get my strength training in last night, but I was so exhausted from that run. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I didn't even have the energy to log my dinner. I didn't have any of the pizza my fiance made though...I stuck with my pre-planned salad and went to bed. early. Sometimes you just gotta listen to your body. I did have some chocolate and wine that I didn't log, since logging everything has stressed me out lately. I will still be checking in while on vacation and not using being "on a break" as an excuse to binge. Bingeing =/= slipups.
I hope you all meet your goals this weekend! ((hugs))0 -
Colleen I can feel your positive energy! You go girl! Congrats on the 3 mile run - that is really fast! Can't wait till I get there. Have fun on vacation!
I had to come back to my food diary from yesterday and make some additions. I still consider it a very successful day though. I struggled big time throughout the morning and afternoon and it seemed like a day that would snowball, also because I had my behavior therapy session last night. So for another stressful day, I held it together overall. And being able to focus on my behavior even when it is 'negative' and not just ignore it is success to me.
I should have just Gone To Bed early, but instead I stayed up reading (with good intentions of trying to relax). Y'all have got to read this book! I could not put it down. 90 minutes later...I'm forcing myself to break apart from it. "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth - I'm not much of a reader at all so when I find a book that holds my interest like this it is something I have to share. I hope it is a slow day at work so I can sneak in some more reading :-)0 -
Colleen I can feel your positive energy! You go girl! Congrats on the 3 mile run - that is really fast! Can't wait till I get there. Have fun on vacation!
I had to come back to my food diary from yesterday and make some additions. I still consider it a very successful day though. I struggled big time throughout the morning and afternoon and it seemed like a day that would snowball, also because I had my behavior therapy session last night. So for another stressful day, I held it together overall. And being able to focus on my behavior even when it is 'negative' and not just ignore it is success to me.
I should have just Gone To Bed early, but instead I stayed up reading (with good intentions of trying to relax). Y'all have got to read this book! I could not put it down. 90 minutes later...I'm forcing myself to break apart from it. "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth - I'm not much of a reader at all so when I find a book that holds my interest like this it is something I have to share. I hope it is a slow day at work so I can sneak in some more reading :-)
Good job Diane!! So "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth is the book you can not put down? I have hear a lot of good things about this book. Is this your 1st time reading it? I will order it from the library to read next month.0 -
Diane that sounds stressful. Hang in there! Family drama is the worst. Great job continuing to log.
I am leaving for Savannah, GA this evening after my class. Tonight is my first Friday evening session of my Ethics class that will take place every other weekend between now and May. I am beginning to think I must have been drugged when I signed up for a weekend class, lol. At least it will be over with soon enough.
Yesterday as part of my half marathon training I did my very first 3 mile treadmillrun since January. It kicked my butt and I had to stop to walk a few times. But I kept going and was able to finish in about 36 minutes. I find it much easier to run outside than on the treadmill, but I work out at lunchtime in the gym because I get too sweaty outside. So I am hoping to do some strength training today at lunch, walking in Savannah Saturday, and a 4 mile jog/walk on Sunday. I am determined to get exercise in on vacation.
Today was supposed to be my rest day since I was supposed to get my strength training in last night, but I was so exhausted from that run. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I didn't even have the energy to log my dinner. I didn't have any of the pizza my fiance made though...I stuck with my pre-planned salad and went to bed. early. Sometimes you just gotta listen to your body. I did have some chocolate and wine that I didn't log, since logging everything has stressed me out lately. I will still be checking in while on vacation and not using being "on a break" as an excuse to binge. Bingeing =/= slipups.
I hope you all meet your goals this weekend! ((hugs))
Enjoy GA Colleen!! Good job on sticking to plan too!! And awesome exerciser I see!! Yahoo on 3 miles in 36 min!! Keep up the good work!0 -
yesterday was a planned splurge but I did not binge. I am happy to report my taste are really changing. I used to love BK whoppers and yesterday I was very disappointed with my whopper and so not worth the points!! So I decided i just never have to have it again. and I thought about it, I hardly ever have hamburgers any more and was like WOW.
Anyway weekends are hard for me but this weekend I am going to be so busy I will not have time to binge.
Have a good weekend everyone!!0 -
No more Whoppers Mollie? That's awesome! I love how you thought through and rationalized your decision with your wise mind :-) And Yay for a busy weekend. That makes a big difference. Yes, that is the book I cannot put down, and yes it is the first time I've read it. I know you will enjoy it too! I'm gonna have to buy this one so I can have a copy for myself.
I am also going to try to stay very busy. Unfortunately spending a lot of time at the hospital makes me very vulnerable to the "special" items I find in their vending machines, and the treats I like at their cafeteria. I am going to focus on eating good foods and working on my jewelry while I'm there so I can reduce that vulnerability.0 -
When i was at hospital with my Mom I brought me my own little satisfying goodies with me. I know you like a lot of homemade stuff but get you some goodies you really like and take with. I used to even take some for my Mom too because was always healthy. Like this weekend I will have my goody bag in tow both days in the ministry. 0
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:drinker: Hi guys, did a pretty good job this week on not bingeing. The grandkids are here this weekend which can be tough because they want the milk and cookies. Alone time is the toughest. Hope to stick with my goals and do my best to stick with the program. I took the kids to McDonalds for the Happy meal. Tried the French Fries, they were cold so I tossed them..........there was a time that I would eat them anyway. Have a good one. Richie0
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Great idea Mollie. Thanks.
Not such a well behaved late evening yesterday, much too much of an ice-cream fit. Today will be better 0 -
Ay, so much negativity - why does it have to be so necessary to heal? I am so anxious to be content and to be able to live in the moment that I do not want to do the work that is necessary to heal. I finished the book and have been inspired. I know she is right. I know that I need to force myself to feel all those negative feelings again so I can get rid of them. It is so hard though. And scary.
And right now more than ever I feel like I should be repressing all the negative feelings I had in the past towards my mother. Her stroke was 3 weeks ago and she still lies in a hospital bed unable to move her left side, for those who have no idea what I'm talking about. I love her. I don't want to think about her at a time when I hated her and thought she was weak. And she needs my strength and attention and POSITIVITY! So how can I go from being super positive when I see her to allowing myself to feel the negativity during the times when I am not with her? Needless to say I am struggling with this.
I'm so tired of hating myself and missing out on the wonderful things my life has to offer right now. I go through the motions day by day with a big smile on my face acting like everything is just great because that is all I know how to do. I am angry with myself for missing out on the beautiful weather yesterday late afternoon and evening because I went to sleep after my pedicure and haircut and didn't wake up until this morning. Sometimes I just can't stand being awake though.
I believe my dreams are therapeutic. I cannot control dreams. Dreams will force me to feel what they want me to feel. My dreams are very vivid. I had many nightmares during my slumber last night but they were the type that forced me to go back to that period of time in my life, and do some re-living. Yesterday's particular dreams forced me to feel a lot of anger, rage, resentment, fear, hostility, loneliness, lonesomeness, and lack of control. I feel drained today but ready to be awake and alive.0 -
Hello everyone. I'm really struggling. The homework my therapist has asked me to do in between our sessions is if I feel like binging, what is going through my head thats causing the urge? The thing is..I don't know..really. It's like something is there and my brain doesn't want to tell me what it is, and my therapist/supporter wants to help me with that. During the binges..well, I think..well ill just eat more..ive already done enough damage. Before---sometimes the thoughts is pure boredom. I think of what to do to occupy my time but it doesn't seem you know..appitizing is what you can say. Another factor prior to the binges..is stress. I stress/comfort eat a ton when having a bad time..all the neg. is just flowing through me. When I started on the weight loss journey, I was so sick of being fat and unmotivated, and a part of me wanted to be in better health..and I still do. The other major part wants to have a flat tummy, look and feel good in anything, abs of steel, toned and pretty look..that desire seems to be more then the desire to be healthy. I am trying to work on that believe me. I don't know what to do..or how I can get that energy and motivation back I had 2 years ago when I started this journey. I never seemed to have this problem at first..even at my heavier days..all i'd do is just stress eat here and there but never did this much damage. My binges easily become 1500-3500 calorie range. I hope i can overcome this. I want to lose these last 30-35lbs.0
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Hi Walking Girl, thanks for sharing! I believe it is something we can overcome. The unfortunate part to that is it will be a lot of work. But worth it! Sounds like you are determined, and that you ARE doing the work, so good job! :flowerforyou:0
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,not such a good weekend. tried to keep busy then rewarded myself with too much food. I really hate to admit I have no control. All I can do is keep trying. ..........
I took care of my Mom for a long time. It is hard but a journey we all must make. Taking care of yourself becomes even more important. . Hang in there , prayers. Richie0 -
Thanks Richie.
As much as I loathed getting up this morning, I do look forward to the calmness and control of Monday's routine nature.0 -
Walking Girl,
I so understand your pain and binging sometimes from being bored and/or lonely. I am not sure some thearpist really get it that sometimes we just don't know why and that sometimes it is just something to do and it is what we are used to. Food because a comforting friend. I try to call a friend keep busy and most times this works and now I am going to bed earlier too which has a twofold benefit for me. I don't eat and I can get enough rest to rise early and workout too.
I want to know why when we are trying to lose weight it always has to be because of health. What is WRONG with wanting to look good too? nothing at all dear. It is OK to want to feel and look good about yourself within reason. Just make sure your goals are not unrealistic. Like me I know I will never have a rock hard ab but I do want to look better and I am so not ashamed of it and you should not be either. I want to look better and I am not ashamed of that!
Diane,
I understand putting on the happy face for everyone and sometimes this is good but not good. Just remember what is real. There is nothing wrong with feeling. Feel free to feel whatever feelings you are having. sure you have to be positive for your Mom but in order to get rid of the negative feelings you need to allow yourself to feel them. Our feeling are what they are. Yes we want to be positive but we are human and are not going to be positive all the times that is for sure. Just keep hanging in there and taking care of self in the process.
Good for you on getting your pedicure. You are in an adjustment mode and what your Mom did or should have did is not the point right now since you can't go back. She can't go back and her actions did affect your life. There are many things in our lives that are not in our control. So all we can do is control what we can control and ususally we can only control our lives and actions. We can't control our love ones even though their selfish or thoughtless actions affect us. We can not control others BUT we can control how WE react. Hurting ourselves is not a good reaction for us. So on this journey with your Mom just remember to try to react in a way as much as you can that shows compassion for Diane also. Diane is very important too. :flowerforyou:0 -
I had a binge day Saturday evening. Sunday was so so. Not a binge but over eating for sure. I got back on track yesterday. It was a long weekend and I am glad it is over. I need a rest day for sure!
Have a good week everyone! One day at a time0 -
Thanks Mollie! :smooched: Nice job getting right back on track. You must have had a super busy weekend!
I had a good day yesterday. I ate for hunger and not emotion (although it was easier cuz I didn't go to the hospital yesterday). I exercised. I crossed off many things on my to do list. I felt in control and it felt great! One day at a time is absolutely right!0 -
:flowerforyou: good day for me , busy and no emotional stuff that sent me to the frig. :drinker: Happy Wednesday guys.0
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Not such a good day today. Binged and then purged (which I hadn't done in a while, and was very proud of myself for not having purged). Scary thing is the purging felt good and familiar. Don't know if it's that this time of month has hit me really hard this week or what, but self-control was just not there. Plus, I'm feeling bloated and fat. Don't want to weigh myself or exercise. And I had been so good. Time to get back on track again but I could use some encouragement from all of you! Thanks!!! 0
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It is just one day. Tomorrow is another day. Put today binge and purge behind you. No one is perfect.0
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Been doing well the last week with no binges, although I did allow myself ice cream as a treat on days when I had substantial exercise -- but I worked into my plan as opposed to just eating it no matter what.
I've told people at work that I'm officially "on the wagon" and they've been primarily supportive as to not bring up trigger foods like they were. YAY!0 -
I hope you had a better day yesterday bathsalts. I know you can get back on track:flowerforyou:
WTG Angel, and great job w/ the ice cream. :happy:
I'm hanging in there this week. Yesterday was busy, somewhat emotional, and contained too much mindless eating. I want to learn how to not be dissapointed in myself. I spend too much time and energy on that. I need a handbook. A check off list. I don't know.0 -
Here I am. Round 2. *sigh* Thanks for the invite and for remembering me, Mollie! I have missed this. A lot.
Not much on words tonight, or for reporting my huge failings. I am just trying to get back in the groove and stay positive. 0 -
Hi Blue Note! Nice to see you :flowerforyou:0
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The definition of failure is lack of trying. None of here can ever consider ourselves failures based on that definition.
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