March/April BED Conversation Thread

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  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Hello everyone! Diane (BehaviorModification) told me about this thread and I thought I would reach out and introduce myself.

    My name is Colleen, I am 25 and I work full-time while going to school part time for my masters. I will graduate in spring 2013, and I will be getting married after that to a wonderful man. My life is full and needless to say it can get very stressful! Without going into too many details, I have struggled with binge eating since childhood. About a year ago, I began to substitute exercise for binge eating as an antidote to my anxiety. However, I recently had an injury that caused me to have to lessen my exercise and forced me to be alone with my anxious thoughts. I have managed to maintain my weight loss, give or take a few pounds. But I have had a few episodes and it would help to check in daily with others like me who struggle.

    Us binge eaters are unique because self-hatred is what got most of us where we are in the first place. So a lot of "support" threads around here don't really jive with me. Sure, self-discipline is important, but it wasn't lack of willpower that made me fat. It was because I thought there was something wrong with me and food was the only thing that could fix it. Dieting was another way to "fix" myself because I was obviously a fat lazy slob. A year ago, I began making healthier choices to fuel my body and started being kinder to myself. It's not a contest or a competition. As long as we can say we've made some type of progress, then we're better than where we started. I made that single step one year ago and I'm proud to say that those choices have added up to a 50 pound weight loss.

    I still struggle with my eating, though. I have gotten back into pre-logging my days in the morning, and I've gotten better day by day. I am proud to say that I stuck to my exercise and pre-logged eating yesterday, and I was even able to forgo chocolate! I told myself it was ok, and that I could have it tomorrow. I actually remembered something Diane said: "JUST GO TO BED!" And I did. My body needed the sleep more than that chocolate fix!! :-)

    I tend to ramble, so thanks for listening, ladies. Hope to get to know more of you soon!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Ramble on Colleen, I enjoyed reading it! :smile:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Welcome Colleen and thanks for sharing. You do have a FULL plate! Good job on going to bed! I did that last night because I started getting the urge to nibble and was already over my calories (points) for the day.

    Keep coming back and ramble as much as you like! :flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Overall yesterday was a good day for me. I ate 2 more GS cookies before I went home yesterday. No binges despite some splurges with cookies and a candy bar I could not resist when I went to grocery store. The candy bar took me over my calories but still with exercise yesterday I felt great.

    Have a good day all!
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Thanks everyone! Mollie, I am impressed that you were able to keep it down to 2 GS cookies! You really can teach yourself those habits. When I was on Medifast, someone in the online community said "I know I'll never be a normal eater, so I can't let myself have just one cookie." I think that's a defeating attitude and telling yourself that there is something wrong. There's not. We may have different tendencies, but that doesn't make us "abnormal" and meaning we have to eat lettuce forever.

    Even when you go over, just being able to log it is impressive. I would have huge binges and just be too ashamed to log. Keeping my diary private has helped with this.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Thanks Colleen but I had 2 MORE before I went home yesterday. The total for yesterday was 8 all together with the 6 I had at lunch time. But considering I could do a box or 2 before I still count yesterday a good day!
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    :grumble: over ate....no binge.......but overate. Sams Club rotiserre chicken ah well............tomorrow is another day. will down a bunch of water and hope that the fat will wash away........didn't eat the skin that is progress......but feel stuffed. Did so good all day....just never should have stopped there. Mollie all I can say is you have improved and so have I .....didn't eat the whole chicken but still should have stopped when I had a "normal" serving. Thanks to all who share it helps me when I am honest. Richie.
  • jade_85
    jade_85 Posts: 96
    Overall yesterday was a good day for me. I ate 2 more GS cookies before I went home yesterday. No binges despite some splurges with cookies and a candy bar I could not resist when I went to grocery store. The candy bar took me over my calories but still with exercise yesterday I felt great.

    Have a good day all!


    well done u thats fab :) if u feel great thats the main thing xx
  • jade_85
    jade_85 Posts: 96
    good morning all (or afternoon/evening if ur not in the uk ;) ) just wanted to wish u all an amazing day whatever you are doing. i dont think i can do any major excersise today as i ache like mad so just going to go for a swim and relaxing steam before i go to work i think. what are your plans :) xx
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Mollie, that is still great since I could probably binge on 1-2 boxes of GS cookies, too!

    Richie, one step at a time--I love rotisserie chicken so it would be tough for me to take the skin off! Nice job logging it.

    Jade- Hope you get some rest today so you can be back at the exercise in full force soon :-)

    I made a rookie mistake yesterday--I had some snacks within reaching distance while I was having a financial discussion with my fiance. We do that about once a month to make sure we're on track with saving for our wedding, etc. It's a great idea in the long run, but who doesn't get stressed out talking about money? Silly me had some peanuts nearby. I went over my pre-logged day but I still moved on. I exercise a lot so it is hard for me to eat below 2,000 calories a day, but one day at a time.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Hello all,

    Last night I had to fight the fine fight of urges to binge. Went to grocery store and did not pick up any candy bars or junk food. I overate last night but must have not did so to the excess becasue I was hungry this morning. I save calories in case I get the munchies and have low cal stuff on hand. I try to eat fruit but that does not always work and/or try cleaning up stomething getting busy.

    Richie,
    Godo job on that chicken. I don't even buy anymore because I know i will eat more than 2 pieces. I have learned I am willing to pay more for a serving size now. I know a rotesseire chicken cost as much as a 2 pc chicken at KFC but I will take the later everytime because I don't want to chance binge or overeating.

    Have a good day all!!
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Mollie, that is still great since I could probably binge on 1-2 boxes of GS cookies, too!

    Richie, one step at a time--I love rotisserie chicken so it would be tough for me to take the skin off! Nice job logging it.

    Jade- Hope you get some rest today so you can be back at the exercise in full force soon :-)

    I made a rookie mistake yesterday--I had some snacks within reaching distance while I was having a financial discussion with my fiance. We do that about once a month to make sure we're on track with saving for our wedding, etc. It's a great idea in the long run, but who doesn't get stressed out talking about money? Silly me had some peanuts nearby. I went over my pre-logged day but I still moved on. I exercise a lot so it is hard for me to eat below 2,000 calories a day, but one day at a time.
    Money issues is always a stressor for me too. Well you said it best a rookie mistake :) can't eat what you don't have in house and nuts have always been a binger for me. I can eat almonds in moderation and keep near buy. I count them out and eat only 1 serving. Keep being mindful is all we can do. We are not going to be perfect that is for sure. Consistency not perfection.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Yesterday was another successful day even though I was over on calories again. I logged them all, I exercised, and I didn't binge. Life was pretty stressful yesterday. I made the mistake of waiting too long to eat after lunch, and the next thing I knew it was 7pm and I was starving and on the run. Then I had to go pick my little brother (age 17) up from work at 9:45 because he and my other brother (age 21) are fighting so badly (drama!) and he refuses to help anymore w/ chauffering him. But he didn't get out until closer to 10:30 and we still had to drive all the way back to my house (30 min away) because he was spending the night. Waiting makes me very anxious, so I was quite on edge by the time he got to the car. Plus I was sooo tired and was thinking about having to leave at 7am to take him to school today. I just wanted my pillow by then. Having a house guest in a one bedroom apartment definitely wards off bingeing urges.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Thank you all for continuing to write here. We are helping ourselves by focusing on our behavior patterns and we are helping each other by sharing our experiences.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Yesterday was another successful day even though I was over on calories again. I logged them all, I exercised, and I didn't binge. Life was pretty stressful yesterday. I made the mistake of waiting too long to eat after lunch, and the next thing I knew it was 7pm and I was starving and on the run. Then I had to go pick my little brother (age 17) up from work at 9:45 because he and my other brother (age 21) are fighting so badly (drama!) and he refuses to help anymore w/ chauffering him. But he didn't get out until closer to 10:30 and we still had to drive all the way back to my house (30 min away) because he was spending the night. Waiting makes me very anxious, so I was quite on edge by the time he got to the car. Plus I was sooo tired and was thinking about having to leave at 7am to take him to school today. I just wanted my pillow by then. Having a house guest in a one bedroom apartment definitely wards off bingeing urges.

    Good job on logging it all and no binge because that was a lot to contend with. Hang in there. Hugs!:heart:
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Diane that sounds stressful. Hang in there! Family drama is the worst. Great job continuing to log.

    I am leaving for Savannah, GA this evening after my class. Tonight is my first Friday evening session of my Ethics class that will take place every other weekend between now and May. I am beginning to think I must have been drugged when I signed up for a weekend class, lol. At least it will be over with soon enough.

    Yesterday as part of my half marathon training I did my very first 3 mile treadmillrun since January. It kicked my butt and I had to stop to walk a few times. But I kept going and was able to finish in about 36 minutes. I find it much easier to run outside than on the treadmill, but I work out at lunchtime in the gym because I get too sweaty outside. So I am hoping to do some strength training today at lunch, walking in Savannah Saturday, and a 4 mile jog/walk on Sunday. I am determined to get exercise in on vacation.

    Today was supposed to be my rest day since I was supposed to get my strength training in last night, but I was so exhausted from that run. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I didn't even have the energy to log my dinner. I didn't have any of the pizza my fiance made though...I stuck with my pre-planned salad and went to bed. early. Sometimes you just gotta listen to your body. I did have some chocolate and wine that I didn't log, since logging everything has stressed me out lately. I will still be checking in while on vacation and not using being "on a break" as an excuse to binge. Bingeing =/= slipups.

    I hope you all meet your goals this weekend! ((hugs))
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Colleen I can feel your positive energy! You go girl! Congrats on the 3 mile run - that is really fast! Can't wait till I get there. Have fun on vacation!

    I had to come back to my food diary from yesterday and make some additions. I still consider it a very successful day though. I struggled big time throughout the morning and afternoon and it seemed like a day that would snowball, also because I had my behavior therapy session last night. So for another stressful day, I held it together overall. And being able to focus on my behavior even when it is 'negative' and not just ignore it is success to me.

    I should have just Gone To Bed early, but instead I stayed up reading (with good intentions of trying to relax). Y'all have got to read this book! I could not put it down. 90 minutes later...I'm forcing myself to break apart from it. "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth - I'm not much of a reader at all so when I find a book that holds my interest like this it is something I have to share. I hope it is a slow day at work so I can sneak in some more reading :-)
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Colleen I can feel your positive energy! You go girl! Congrats on the 3 mile run - that is really fast! Can't wait till I get there. Have fun on vacation!

    I had to come back to my food diary from yesterday and make some additions. I still consider it a very successful day though. I struggled big time throughout the morning and afternoon and it seemed like a day that would snowball, also because I had my behavior therapy session last night. So for another stressful day, I held it together overall. And being able to focus on my behavior even when it is 'negative' and not just ignore it is success to me.

    I should have just Gone To Bed early, but instead I stayed up reading (with good intentions of trying to relax). Y'all have got to read this book! I could not put it down. 90 minutes later...I'm forcing myself to break apart from it. "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth - I'm not much of a reader at all so when I find a book that holds my interest like this it is something I have to share. I hope it is a slow day at work so I can sneak in some more reading :-)

    Good job Diane!! So "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth is the book you can not put down? I have hear a lot of good things about this book. Is this your 1st time reading it? I will order it from the library to read next month.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Diane that sounds stressful. Hang in there! Family drama is the worst. Great job continuing to log.

    I am leaving for Savannah, GA this evening after my class. Tonight is my first Friday evening session of my Ethics class that will take place every other weekend between now and May. I am beginning to think I must have been drugged when I signed up for a weekend class, lol. At least it will be over with soon enough.

    Yesterday as part of my half marathon training I did my very first 3 mile treadmillrun since January. It kicked my butt and I had to stop to walk a few times. But I kept going and was able to finish in about 36 minutes. I find it much easier to run outside than on the treadmill, but I work out at lunchtime in the gym because I get too sweaty outside. So I am hoping to do some strength training today at lunch, walking in Savannah Saturday, and a 4 mile jog/walk on Sunday. I am determined to get exercise in on vacation.

    Today was supposed to be my rest day since I was supposed to get my strength training in last night, but I was so exhausted from that run. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I didn't even have the energy to log my dinner. I didn't have any of the pizza my fiance made though...I stuck with my pre-planned salad and went to bed. early. Sometimes you just gotta listen to your body. I did have some chocolate and wine that I didn't log, since logging everything has stressed me out lately. I will still be checking in while on vacation and not using being "on a break" as an excuse to binge. Bingeing =/= slipups.

    I hope you all meet your goals this weekend! ((hugs))

    Enjoy GA Colleen!! Good job on sticking to plan too!! And awesome exerciser I see!! Yahoo on 3 miles in 36 min!! Keep up the good work!
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    yesterday was a planned splurge but I did not binge. I am happy to report my taste are really changing. I used to love BK whoppers and yesterday I was very disappointed with my whopper and so not worth the points!! So I decided i just never have to have it again. and I thought about it, I hardly ever have hamburgers any more and was like WOW.

    Anyway weekends are hard for me but this weekend I am going to be so busy I will not have time to binge.

    Have a good weekend everyone!!
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