March/April BED Conversation Thread
Replies
-
Here I am. Round 2. *sigh* Thanks for the invite and for remembering me, Mollie! I have missed this. A lot.
Not much on words tonight, or for reporting my huge failings. I am just trying to get back in the groove and stay positive.
So good to have you back Nancy! Success is never giving up! So just keep getting back up and you will never fail. Hope all is well with you. You have been missed. This month is the most active the group has been since inception.0 -
Amen!The definition of failure is lack of trying. None of here can ever consider ourselves failures based on that definition.
0 -
Angel,
You have awesome co-workers!!
Diane,
You will get a handle on spending too much time worrying about lapses. We just have to continue to be mindful and get back on track asap.0 -
I think I need to read every book Geneen Roth has written, I am so inspired by this woman! I'm just finishing up one of her newer books "Women Food and God". There are so many wonderful passages. Today I want to share this:
"...weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Or content. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart. Spiritual hunger can never be solved on the physical level."
I couldn't agree more. Although I've gained some back now, I had gotten down nearly 80lbs from my start weight on MFP 2 years ago. Logically, I should be really proud of that. But I'm not. I really thought weight loss would make me happy, but I now know that is far from true. Weight gain is merely a symptom of my broken mental health. I do not want to continue to gain weight. I know I need to work on my mental health and I am more than willing to work hard to feel better about myself. But I need guidance. I don't know how to do this. I believe Geneen Roth has found a way. She seems very wise in regards to compulsive eating.0 -
Very true Diane. Thanks for sharing some of the wise words of this book. That is not the same book you were reading last week was it? What was the other book you were reading? I went back and could not find it anywhere.0
-
I'm stressed out, and I want comfort food. Exercise doesn't always cut it for me.0
-
Take a walk, go for a ride in the car, take a shower , brush your teeth. anything to redirect.....or type on the computer.....like I am doing right now....no reason to eat, just feeling anxious tomorrow because I have to visit with some folks from my past. Won't give in and let my self eat. Take care Walking Girl we are here. Richie0
-
Nice job redirecting yourself Richie.
Mollie, "When Food Is Love" was the other book.
Thoughts of restriction are far too inviting today. In my heart I know it isn't the answer, but my head is having a hard time with it right now. Why is it so important to see the scale move on certain days? Why does it seem like so many other people around me are losing weight easily with restriction. My best friend's new medication has allowed her to stop eating and lose a bunch of weight. My coworker is down to 110lbs w/ her lap-band. Another ex-coworker has lost 100+ lbs now too w/ her lap-band. I know that those aren't the answers for me, but sometimes I want them to be.
I want to be able to lose 100lbs. And I want to be able to not worry about gaining it back. I just want to be able to have a good relationship with food and stop using it to self-medicate. It is frustrating today to think that this is a difficult, long, process that will take patience. It is so hard to focus when you're already so tired.0 -
Thanks for the encouraging words! And Diane, I know what you mean about the lap band surgery and pills and other seemingly "quick" fixes. But I just read that Carnie Wilson had to have a second gastric bypass (I didn't know you could have more than one), so it's not always a fix, anyway. We are here for you! 0
-
Thanks for the warm welcome back. Tomorrow I go back to work after a week vacation. *sigh* I hope I can get it together there and stay focused!!!0
-
Thanks for the note about C. Wilson. It isn't my nature to relish in someone else's misfortune, so please don't think that's where I'm going with this, but it is helpful to learn about cases like hers. Mostly because I feel like my fate would be similar if I were to go down that road. And cases like hers puts reality back into perspective for ME. Losing a bunch of weight really quick sounds great, but not if I'm gonna just put it right back on. And I do believe that is what would happen to me. I need to learn how to keep it off.
From what I read, she got a lap-band over her gastric bypass. And I also read that she uses food to comfort her emotions, just like we do. I wonder if the physical inability to eat is really the only thing stopping her from gaining more weight back. A part of me is also discouraged by her story. Here is a woman w/ more money than I'll make in a lifetime, she can buy oodles of personal training & psychotherapy, and yet 12+ yrs after she has taken drastic measures to lose weight, she is still struggling. Why is it so hard?0 -
Hey, if it were easy, Oprah would have kept the weight off! Talk about all the $ in the world! We all have our issues--for some it's drugs, for others, it's alcohol, for others, it's sex addiction or explosive anger issues. At least, we have a good group of like-minded souls to whom to vent and with whom we can share our problems/relate. It should make us feel good that we are doing as well as we are without all the resurces in the world at our disposal!:flowerforyou:0
-
You're absolutely right and thank you for the reminder that we ARE doing a good job working towards our goals despite the difficulty. And I agree, it is great to belong to this group! :flowerforyou:0
-
:drinker: very rough day at work......had to remind myself not to come home and eat. took a long walk and talked with a friend. I will go to bed early so I won't be tempted. I watched a story on tv last night about a women named Melissa who had bariatric surgery . I never realized there could be so many complications......she nearly died from malnutrition.....all through the show she said the issue isn't just food and that you have to face old wounds and help them heal......spoke to me ....Take care guys Richie0
-
Good job going to bed, Richie--that's what I'm going to do, too . . . sorry about your rough day at work.0
-
I'm new here. I never thought of myself as a binge eater, but after reading your struggles, I think I might be. I just can't stop eating. Mainly, it's candy bars, crackers and chips. Everyday after work, I drive to the drug store and figure out something to buy for the house so it doesn't look like I'm just going there to buy junk food. I have a circuit of 4 stores I go to so the cashiers don't catch on. How crazy is that? When I get home, I eat the booty I just picked up at the drug store while I'm cooking myself dinner (although, many times I just eat the junk for dinner), or while I'm waiting for the pizza to arrive. My excuse is I'm under a lot of stress at work and I threw out my back last week, which made it worse because I can't exercise right now.
I've picked up some good information from reading your posts. For instance, someone said they try to maintain a 2000 calorie limit. I never thought of that - it's like just acknowledging it, but also drawing some boundaries. I understand you need to distract yourself with some other behavior, but I just can't find anything else I would rather be doing.
Thanks for reading my post. I will keep reading yours, too.0 -
Mabug: You're not crazy; I've done exactly the same thing! I know--you feel ridiculous while doing it--going to such lengths to "hide" the fact that you're buying all this junk food just to eat yourself! Don't worry--we've all been there and can identify. Glad you found this group! :flowerforyou:0
-
:flowerforyou: mabug, we all do it , that is why we are here. I have one of those drug stores down the block from me. Torture, but not having my knees hurt is better.........maybe try a small change first......When I first stopped that habit I would only buy single size. also I would put my PJ's on the second I got home so I wouldn't go back. Try leaving the junk in the trunk of your car . It does get better....really. Easter is tough stuff. I love the pastels.0
-
Thanks for your support. It's nice not being alone in this. Does it help to buy non-diet, but healthier snacks to have in the house (like nuts and dried fruits)? If I have some raisins and nuts, maybe I can skip the drug store for just one day.0
-
Hi mabug01, thanks for joining the group. You're definitely not alone. I make sure to keep healthier snacks in the house. It helps. But then there are other days that I binge on healthy food in which case I feel doomed and shouldn't have any food in the house. I also don't buy anything unhealthy in abundance anymore.0
-
Good day to everyone! Today is March 28, 2012 and I made a big decision. I have set my ticker back to 0. My binging at night has been off the chain. Last night i woke up at 4 am and ate burritios and not just one, it was a nightmare and the whole time i knew it was going to make me feel horrible this morning and it did. So after i got off the pity pot, i logged in to mfp, set my ticker to 0 and made the decision to consider this day 1 of my new regimen. I bought some fruit and some healthier foods so i am prepared to begin anew. Thank You all for your support and helping me to get back and I am here to support all of you also!!!!!0
-
Hello! Great job on the fresh start! *cheers* :drinker: 0
-
I'm glad all of you are here! You inspire me and I hope I help you! It's nice to have people who understand! 0
-
I...feel a lot of self doubt going through my head. "Your not good enough, your going to stay fat forever, you will never reach your goals, you are worthless!" I feel like I do not have any faith in myself, and the fact of believing right now just feels impossible. I am having a hard time taking charge like I'm supposted to and breaking down those barriers thats needed to push through this journey. I also have a lot of stress...financial problems, feeling like I need to please everyone by doing everything..of favor after the next..appointments to keep up with, constantly worrying about my calories..just feels like its a lot to hold.
0 -
Lots of thing make me want to binge....I do it from time to time...but not as bad as before soo you know that's progress. When I was little I only liked a few foods...........Mom didn't fix any meals I liked so if there was something in the house I ate it. Macaroni with butter on it. bread and butter.....I think that is when some of my problems started ....depresion plays a big part in it for me to. Did ok today but ate three of the peanunt butter eggs.......0
-
Walking Girl - I believe in you. I'm sorry you're having a bad day.0
-
Walking Girl, I hope you are feeling better today. It is very difficult to stay focused when there are so many other things going on in your life. I understand.
Many people w/ eating disorders are perfectionists and/or have a strong need to overachieve. I'm totally guilty of this. I want to be the best at everything I do and when that doesn't come easily I get really frustrated and often will just give up, quit or stop doing whatever that is. I want to be able to conquer BED every day all day, stay focused all the time, and do really well at it. Unfortunately that is so much easier said than done. Continuing to do something that I'm not excelling at is mentally difficult. I never want to admit that I'm not doing good at something that I'm involved in. I have to be great! Hahah, listen to me. "have to". Why? I used to use that type of behavior to get my parent's attention. I figured if I was awesome, my Mom would love me more and then she'd leave my stepdad. I also tried to impress my Dad, I so longed for his approval and wanted him to be proud. He rarely said anything positive about me & my sister. Nothing was ever good enough. So who am I trying to impress now that I'm all grown up? I know my Mom loves me. I know she felt stuck in that relationship, and I know her reasoning for staying in it so long. I don't even talk to my Dad anymore, and haven't for many years. So why do I still have this nagging sense to be 'perfect'? Why can't I be satisfied with mediocre ever? It is too easy to say 'screw it' when you relapse. So next time we relapse and get back on track we should think about how strong we really are.0 -
Plus, we are all compulsive pleasers! Walking Girl, try to do more for yourself and less for others. Hang in there.:flowerforyou:0
-
Behavior_Modification, thanks for your insight. I recognized myself somewhere in there. I finally finished a big proposal today and am feeling a lot less pressure now that I'm finished trying to make it perfect. I know I eat under work stress, but I didn't realize it was about perfection, I just thought eating made me more focused on my work. I think eating may just be my way of hiding the pain of not creating a perfect product. Good stuff to think about.0
-
I'm a perfectionist, too. Only black and white - no grey. Which is why my binges are huge, I suppose. I understand how you all feel because I am feeling the same way. I wish there was some magic cure for over eating, but since there's not, we all have to keep trying and focus on the positive. :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.