Dinner date- who pays?
swimmchick87
Posts: 458 Member
Just curious as I see this mentioned a lot on here. If you're going out on a dinner date, who do you expect to pay? Does the guy automatically always have to? What about after a few dates with the same person- is the guy always still paying? I almost feel like that's a little old fashioned but from reading a few posts on here it seems to be the norm!
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If I am the one who initiated the date I will always pay. After a few dates I will still pay but may say something like you get the next one, sets up a next time option as well as giving her the option to pay as some women are very independent and want to pay for themselves. Im honestly good no matter who pays.0
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Guy pays, hands down first time for sure... Its a gentlemenly thing to do. You are taking her out for dinner therefore you pay. Even a girl asked me out, I would still probably pay. If she insisted totally I would still try to pay at least half and try and slip it in her handbag or something haha.0
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Its different if it's down the line, if after 2 or times the girls is still not offering to pay at least her half, I would start having 2nd thoughts about her... But its perfectly fine for a woman to take a man out for dinner and pay.......
As long as its not the first date haha!0 -
I don't ask guys out ever so he'll pay at first... but if we're out having drinks I will offer to get a round or so. Later on if we start to date more often, I'd definately help out paying for dinner or events every now and then.0
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He should pay if he asks you out.0
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I don't ask guys out ever so he'll pay at first... but if we're out having drinks I will offer to get a round or so. Later on if we start to date more often, I'd definately help out paying for dinner or events every now and then.
Every now and then? lol
Do you think the guy should pay what, like, 50-70% of the time?
I think once in a relationship, things should go 50/50 on most occasions, cept of course when there are special occasions or you're feeling nice
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I'm paying. I appreciate when there is a gesture on her part, but I'm paying. I won't push it to the point of an argument (I've dated two girls that seemed ready to fight for it).
I should also note that I'm that guy who pays for my friends, buys rounds at the bar, and supplies food and beverages at a tailgate that is open to anyone that walks by. I work hard and I spend my money on experiences, not stuff. Dates, friends, tailgates all make me happy.0 -
The girl should pay if she wants you.
I don't do dinner (first) dates anyway... Overall they suck, they're too slow paced (see other topic).
I invite girls on first dates only because they are too lazy to do it (even later down the road), not because I want to pay for their food or drinks. Get real! :laugh:He should pay if he asks you out.
Well, mind you with that precept, that's one more reason to let girls do the chase. This way they organise the dates and they pay for it then according to this logic.0 -
I usually offer to pay my way for dinner. And I take turns at the bar. If the guy insists then I graciously accept :bigsmile:0
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The man should pay if he asks you out. If you asked him out, grow some ovaries and buy the man dinner. Don't ask people to do things with you if you can't afford it or don't want to pay.
I agree that once you've been out a few times, it's polite to OFFER to pay for something. If not dinner, then if you go somewhere else for drinks or coffee or dessert or a movie after dinner, then offer to pay for that.
The last guy I dated was insistent on paying for everything, which is not uncommon where I'm from. I didn't push it because I didn't want to insinuate that he couldn't afford it (or that I wasn't worth it). But after we'd been out a few times, I invited him to my place, and I made dinner for him. I would also bring him something occasionally, like a bottle of his favorite wine or whiskey. He seemed to be more comfortable with that than with me offering to pay.0 -
The man should pay if he asks you out. If you asked him out, grow some ovaries and buy the man dinner. Don't ask people to do things with you if you can't afford it or don't want to pay.
I agree that once you've been out a few times, it's polite to OFFER to pay for something. If not dinner, then if you go somewhere else for drinks or coffee or dessert or a movie after dinner, then offer to pay for that.
The last guy I dated was insistent on paying for everything, which is not uncommon where I'm from. I didn't push it because I didn't want to insinuate that he couldn't afford it (or that I wasn't worth it). But after we'd been out a few times, I invited him to my place, and I made dinner for him. I would also bring him something occasionally, like a bottle of his favorite wine or whiskey. He seemed to be more comfortable with that than with me offering to pay.
Awesome approach!0 -
I don't ask guys out ever so he'll pay at first... but if we're out having drinks I will offer to get a round or so. Later on if we start to date more often, I'd definately help out paying for dinner or events every now and then.
Every now and then? lol
Do you think the guy should pay what, like, 50-70% of the time?
I think once in a relationship, things should go 50/50 on most occasions, cept of course when there are special occasions or you're feeling nice
I'd go 50/50. I'd just make sure my 50 was a redbox and some takeout...
Just kidding!
I love spoiling and can get out of hand.0 -
I'm paying. I appreciate when there is a gesture on her part, but I'm paying. I won't push it to the point of an argument (I've dated two girls that seemed ready to fight for it).
I should also note that I'm that guy who pays for my friends, buys rounds at the bar, and supplies food and beverages at a tailgate that is open to anyone that walks by. I work hard and I spend my money on experiences, not stuff. Dates, friends, tailgates all make me happy.
This is me too. I dont mind paying to me life is more about shared experiences and stories not who paid for dinner and drinks.
For me those initial dates are a no brainer, I am going to pay, the only time I find it a little weird is later on down the road if we are dating and considering a relationship there always seems to be that phase when a woman decides hey Im vested in this guy so I should pay sometimes as well. Again for me I dont care I will continue to pay, but all past relationships that made it to this point it seemed to really be almost a turning point and she made a point of paying.
No worries, just be glad you are out and enjoy your date. If you want to pay go ahead, I would only be worried if he refuses to pay...then I would run for the hills!0 -
The last guy I dated was insistent on paying for everything, which is not uncommon where I'm from. I didn't push it because I didn't want to insinuate that he couldn't afford it (or that I wasn't worth it). But after we'd been out a few times, I invited him to my place, and I made dinner for him. I would also bring him something occasionally, like a bottle of his favorite wine or whiskey. He seemed to be more comfortable with that than with me offering to pay.
That is fantastic! Thoughtful and personal, I want a woman to buy me a personal gift...especially if it turned out to be a nice bottle of bourbon!0 -
I always offer to pay my share - personally I would feel rude if I didn't. But the guy typically says no to the offer, so a thank you suffices.0
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Whoever's idea the date was, unless you're just friends then- you fight over it.0
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The person that ASKS THE OTHER needs to be willing to pay.0
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Whoever's idea the date was, unless you're just friends then- you fight over it.
Fight Fight Fight!!! I immediately pictured a huge brawl in a restaurant over who gets to pay for the check!!0 -
The guy pays. If I invite us to the event, I'll pay for the event itself. I'll recipricate in other ways if we go out more than a few times, like cooking dinner/packing a picnic. Other than that, if I'm paying, it's because we are platonic, just going as friends. Maybe the south is rubbing off on me, as I just *feel* "un-cherished, non-pursued" at the thought of having to pay my own way for a date someone else asked me out on.
I know a lot of guys are gonna disagree with that, but when I first became single I thought a modern woman should offer to pay half all the time and sometimes pick up the tab. It was actually my BGF who schooled me to drop the whole liberated thing, relax, and let the guy worry about all that. Seeing as most guys take me to places I would never work into my own personal budget, I do believe he was right, because I'm much more relaxed and fun to be with now. A few years from now, when the man-well is dry, maybe I'll change my mind, but for now if it ain't broke, don't fix it.0 -
Whoever's idea the date was, unless you're just friends then- you fight over it.
With my FL, we will take turns paying for rounds/ food/ concert tickets/ whatever. Although he's probably paid for more stuff than I have just because he'll want me try something he's had and I haven't.
Or we'll pay our own way. Easy peasy.0 -
I like to take cost out of the equation as much as possible during the first 3 dates. The first date should never be dinner. Dinner will work for a 2nd date.
I don't get asked out that much by women, so I wouldn't get treated on a date. There have been dates I've been on where the woman paid and that was nice.0 -
Meh, I figure we both get seperate plates at the buffet place so she can pay for hers, and I pay for mine. Then when we go to the by the pound ice cream (they call it yogurt, and say it's by the ounce, but really, who can eat that little), I'll pay for her extra toppings, but c'mon she's gotta foot something. Now when we go out drinking I'll happily pay for at least 3 of her PBR's, or even sneak in a bottle of MD 20/20 (fruit punch of course). As you can tell, I'm a classy fella.0
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The guy pays. If I invite us to the event, I'll pay for the event itself. I'll recipricate in other ways if we go out more than a few times, like cooking dinner/packing a picnic. Other than that, if I'm paying, it's because we are platonic, just going as friends. Maybe the south is rubbing off on me, as I just *feel* "un-cherished, non-pursued" at the thought of having to pay my own way for a date someone else asked me out on.
I know a lot of guys are gonna disagree with that, but when I first became single I thought a modern woman should offer to pay half all the time and sometimes pick up the tab. It was actually my BGF who schooled me to drop the whole liberated thing, relax, and let the guy worry about all that. Seeing as most guys take me to places I would never work into my own personal budget, I do believe he was right, because I'm much more relaxed and fun to be with now. A few years from now, when the man-well is dry, maybe I'll change my mind, but for now if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I agree with you. That's how I was raised, and I still believe that's the way it should be. But I also know there's an epidemic these days of women who take advantage of a man's generosity, balk at acts of chivalry, etc., and some allowances have to be made for that. But if a guy approached me, asked me out, took me to a restaurant of his choosing, and expected me to pay, there would not be a date #2. If cost is that big of an issue, then let's go do something free. I don't need a $50 steak dinner or a $20 glass of wine. It's pretty insulting to me when a guy acts like dinner is some kind of test to see whether or not I'm after his money. You treat me like a lady, I will treat you like a man. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.
aaw Carlll.I would buy you dinner ! or at least a drink or two !LOL0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.
aaw Carlll.I would buy you dinner ! or at least a drink or two !LOL
Not a chance,when we get together in May dinner is on me.
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I view it as a sense of entitlement. I'm all about courtship in the beginning and will def. pay in the beginning. If the expectation that I'm supposed to empty my bank account at someone else's expense due to gender roles is a sustained view in her eyes then it's a deal breaker. I'd rather be single.0
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Guy pays, hands down first time for sure... Its a gentlemenly thing to do. You are taking her out for dinner therefore you pay. Even a girl asked me out, I would still probably pay. If she insisted totally I would still try to pay at least half and try and slip it in her handbag or something haha.
Totally this! This is a gentlemen! Boys take note!!!
Women... this is what we should expect ... a true MAN!
IF II were to ask a guy out, I would be the one going for the check. But if he offered... it would score seriously major bonus points. And I would let him pay.
but I would also offer to get the next one...or repay in some other way.... 0 -
If he asks me out I will pay, if I ask him out or over - I will pay or cook. Since my funds are limited, I will gladly make him a nice homemade meal.0
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i'm old fashioned, i believe in courting and it's been working for me. i have yet to come across a guy expecting that we go dutch on a first date.
i believe that guys should pay the first 2-3 dates. but then again i also think guys should be planning most of those early dates anyway.
after those first dates, i've obviously decided that i'm interested in the guy and that i think he's a gentleman, so i dont mind going halfsies or paying for the whole thing. i've usually found that even when i do that, guys are still fighting to pay. for instance with my last boyfriend when we'd go to the movies i'd buy the tickets first because i had one of those AMC cards. even if i'd get there early and be sneaky and by the popcorn and snacks first, i'd still end up with a mysterious $20 bill in my purse :laugh:
for bigger things like trips and vacations, it definitely should be halfsies.
oh and the only times i've paid my half for first dates is when i wanted to give a hint that i wasnt even slightly interested in pursuing or being pursued for a romance with this person, this same as i'd do when out with any friend.0
