Dinner date- who pays?
Replies
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hair has nothing to do with dates,
oooooo snap! Am I gonna have to cross you off my list again?? After emailing "Mr. Young Bones" I had just put all you young guys back on it. Sigh. Have you SEEN what Louisiana heat does to a woman's hair??? Especially since most of the eligible guys are in Dallas. I think hair has just as much to do with dates as deodorant. You seriously don't want to be around me if I forget about both.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
PS You're right about the excuse to go shopping part though0 -
The vast majority of first dates are “one & donesâ€. If you’re a guy and you go on 7 first dates in a month, and 5 of them are “one & donesâ€, you’ve wasted money.
Exactly, couple that with the fact that women have the idea that they need to date around to find the "ideal" guy and it's even worse. It would be one thing if there was exclusivity involved but more often than not that isn't the case.0 -
Btw ladies,if you want a great meal let me be the one to make it...I consider myself an awesome cook. :smokin:
Well, if I drive to New York for that meal, I suppose that would more than equal out the cost of you having to prepare it :laugh:
Carl's the best! :flowerforyou:0 -
hair has nothing to do with dates,
oooooo snap! Am I gonna have to cross you off my list again?? After emailing "Mr. Young Bones" I had just put all you young guys back on it. Sigh. Have you SEEN what Louisiana heat does to a woman's hair??? Especially since most of the eligible guys are in Dallas. I think hair has just as much to do with dates as deodorant. You seriously don't want to be around me if I forget about both.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
PS You're right about the excuse to go shopping part though
Of course you have to do your hair but does it really require a trip to the salon and cost money? Time, sure.0 -
I can't tell you how many times in college people would say dumbass *kitten* like, "Oh, you're a voice major? How do you expect to live on that? Hmm, well, at least you're a girl, so you can get married". It drove me up the wall.
Oh wow! That's GOTTA be annoying!
My friends are mostly mid-to-high wage earners, so a convo like that would never come up. Guess I’d never seen it from your perspective before.
FWIW… a significant number of the men I work with do NOT want their wives to work. They WANT the Barbie doll wife sitting at home ironing their shorts. SMH.0 -
I can't tell you how many times in college people would say dumbass *kitten* like, "Oh, you're a voice major? How do you expect to live on that? Hmm, well, at least you're a girl, so you can get married". It drove me up the wall.
Oh wow! That's GOTTA be annoying!
My friends are mostly mid-to-high wage earners, so a convo like that would never come up. Guess I’d never seen it from your perspective before.
FWIW… a significant number of the men I work with do NOT want their wives to work. They WANT the Barbie doll wife sitting at home ironing their shorts. SMH.
If that's what they want, and find someone who wants to be it, so be it. It's their life.0 -
FWIW… a significant number of the men I work with do NOT want their wives to work. They WANT the Barbie doll wife sitting at home ironing their shorts. SMH.
Haha well, don't introduce them to me!!! They probably wouldn't like me very much
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I can't tell you how many times in college people would say dumbass *kitten* like, "Oh, you're a voice major? How do you expect to live on that? Hmm, well, at least you're a girl, so you can get married". It drove me up the wall.
Oh wow! That's GOTTA be annoying!
My friends are mostly mid-to-high wage earners, so a convo like that would never come up. Guess I’d never seen it from your perspective before.
FWIW… a significant number of the men I work with do NOT want their wives to work. They WANT the Barbie doll wife sitting at home ironing their shorts. SMH.
I have always held the expectation that my future wife would be working.hair has nothing to do with dates,
oooooo snap! Am I gonna have to cross you off my list again?? After emailing "Mr. Young Bones" I had just put all you young guys back on it. Sigh. Have you SEEN what Louisiana heat does to a woman's hair??? Especially since most of the eligible guys are in Dallas. I think hair has just as much to do with dates as deodorant. You seriously don't want to be around me if I forget about both.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
PS You're right about the excuse to go shopping part though
Although Dallas isn’t that humid, I can see the effects of some amount of humidity on my hair. My hair tends to go a few different directions if I don’t pay attention to it and it is a warm and humid day. I had my hair cut shorter than normal during the hottest parts of last summer. I prefer having a bit longer hair than just a buzzcut.0 -
I can't tell you how many times in college people would say dumbass *kitten* like, "Oh, you're a voice major? How do you expect to live on that? Hmm, well, at least you're a girl, so you can get married". It drove me up the wall.
Oh wow! That's GOTTA be annoying!
My friends are mostly mid-to-high wage earners, so a convo like that would never come up. Guess I’d never seen it from your perspective before.
FWIW… a significant number of the men I work with do NOT want their wives to work. They WANT the Barbie doll wife sitting at home ironing their shorts. SMH.
@Janie....you work wilth/in military, correct? I think that is common for whatever reason that men in the military do not want their wives to work. I was married to Navy Chief, and he always told me that I did not HAVE to work, but since we did not have children, I chose to work. Most other guys I knew then.........many of the wives stayed home, regardless of whether they had children or not. Not sure why this is more prevalent in military families, but that was my experience0 -
does it really require a trip to the salon and cost money? Time, sure.
For $55, my stylist can do in an hour what takes me 4. Those three extra hours are sooooo worth it to this single busy mom. Guess you'll have to see my hair in person to understand, lol!0 -
Paying for someone's meal when you ask them out is the courteous thing to do, whether someone is important to you or not, in my opinion. To not pay, when YOU extended the invitation, is rude. I don't invite my SISTER out for lunch without paying for her. I sure as hell would not ask a man to dinner without paying for his meal. It's not about man vs. woman. It's about who initiated it.
Definitely agree. My sister and do things fairly frequently. I might pay for lunch one day and then she will pay for us to get ice cream afterwards or go to the craft store and get some supplies. It's even.
I am actually a nursing student graduating in a month. The majority of the jobs I'm looking at have salaries that start at the high 40,000 and go to 80,000. I will definitely pay for dates when I start making money, but at first, I think the guy should pay. And I do want to work and not be a SAHM.
It's just not romantic to go on a date and try to split the bill! Men, you're not winning any points by making a girl pay on the first couple of dates. Even though it sucks, even though you have to spend money, it is just more romantic for a woman to be paid for.If you don't want to spend money on a woman, there are so many free things you can do - concerts in the park, walks, using a guest pass at your gym to play a sport or take a class together, cook a dinner together at home, etc.0 -
Weird. Never heard of that one ("whoever invites needs to pay"). For me it's: whoever invites must have an (awesome) idea of something to do (then people join).
Definitely agree. My sister and do things fairly frequently. I might pay for lunch one day and then she will pay for us to get ice cream afterwards or go to the craft store and get some supplies. It's even.Paying for someone's meal when you ask them out is the courteous thing to do, whether someone is important to you or not, in my opinion. To not pay, when YOU extended the invitation, is rude. I don't invite my SISTER out for lunch without paying for her. I sure as hell would not ask a man to dinner without paying for his meal. It's not about man vs. woman. It's about who initiated it.
And my brother can f* off (he's richer than me). Not to mention my sister... :explode: They're good people though, so I'm happy eating out with them (but they're lazy, so I would never see them if I didn't initiate).
I must have been rude to people all my life, but nobody never gave a monkey so I'm not going to change this now.
I invite only when I feel like it, as stated by Nash: "I want to do things for a woman because I want to, not because it is expected."
Well, if I pay for you, or even better, you get a gift from me, at least you feel special...0 -
Weird. Never heard of that one ("whoever invites needs to pay"). For me it's: whoever invites must have an awesome idea of thing to do (then people join).
I usually do free things with my friends but if we all together decide to go out to eat, we do pay for ourselves. Sometimes we're generous and will buy each other drinks at a bar, but since we're all in college, we don't have a lot of money to drop on each other. However, if I was older and invited people over to a dinner party at my house, I would provide the drinks and food. Inviting someone out and not paying is like inviting people to a birthday party and making them pay for their own meal.0 -
It totally blows my mind that in other parts of the country men will expect this. I will keep that in mind, though, since I'm moving next summer.
No, I think (most) guys in other parts of the country will be a gentleman and pay. I think it's the women in these areas that have changed their perception and don't want to be 'taken care of".0 -
Btw ladies,if you want a great meal let me be the one to make it...I consider myself an awesome cook. :smokin:
Well, if I drive to New York for that meal, I suppose that would more than equal out the cost of you having to prepare it :laugh:
Carl's the best! :flowerforyou:
Can we carpool to Carl's house?0 -
It totally blows my mind that in other parts of the country men will expect this. I will keep that in mind, though, since I'm moving next summer.
No, I think (most) guys in other parts of the country will be a gentleman and pay. I think it's the women in these areas that have changed their perception and don't want to be 'taken care of".
I can see that... the whole "I don't need a man to take care of me" thing, the "I don't want you to think you now have rights to my body" thing, the "I'm not beholden to you" thing.0 -
If its the first time meeting, go have coffe, go to the park, art show, a meetup event, for a walk/hike, or somewhere where you can talk to see if you both even want a date and have chemistry. Going on a fulll fledge date for the first time meeting adds too much pressure and can ruin it. Girls thing the guys have to pay, guys think if they pay they will get some action. Dont do it, because someone will usually get mad or disappointed. Also some guys may not have the money to spend 100-200 on a date becuase of his job, may have kids to feed, lost his job, giving money to help a family in need, supporting someone who is dieing, or just the economy may have tool a toll on his bank account. It doesnt make him cheap, you just never know what people's situation is and all good people deserve a chance to meet other good people.
Just how some guys will use a girl for sex, ive seen so many girls will go on a date with a guy (who she knows is in the friend zone because she put him there) just for a free meal, trying to get over a jerk, cheating on her boyfriend because he wont take her out, or out of boredom. Ive seen it all. That is not respectable to the guy. In most cases, they are on the phones texting the whole time. Thats a huge reason to meet first before a date, you might end up paying for a meal for a woman who doesnt give you enough respect to put her phone away for an hour.
After you know you wont to see each other again, then take turns paying. Most women work as hard for their money as we do and are independent. There shouldn't be a law that we have to pay for everything. If two people like each other, they should want to take the other out and impress each other, not just the guy trying to impress the woman. In my opinion, thats whats wrong with dating today,so many women think they are the only ones who should be impressed, both should be trying to impress each other.
ANother problem is the men, I have female friends who say this too, too many men dont have a backbone. They wine and dine every woman they see and get used. IM sorry, some women just dont deserve it. these guys create a bad mentality for some women, its the its all about me thing and they take it for granted. Its not, its about both of you. Real life isnt the bachelorette. Just like women, men have to be careful because they dont want to get used too. I think its a great thing to wine and dine and spoil a woman, just make sure its a good one first. Guys, if you want easy tail, go to a bar, a wedding, or bachelorette party because just because you pay for a woman's dinner doesnt mean she is going to touch your penis.
Last thing, guys, quit sending pics of your penis to women on dating sites fro the first message, they dont like it and dont want to see it, if they wanted to see one, they would just walk outside and throw a rock at one. Its that easy for them. Stop it because the quality women get disgusted and delete their accounts and my good guy friends never have a chance to meet them. Sorry for the long message, I get asked this questions alot by my friends. In no way do I think all people are like this but there sure is alot of people who are so im not judging all.0 -
Calvert got it all.
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As a guy, I would at least first offer to pay but if for whatever reason the lady doesn't want me to, well what can I do?0
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Our third date was last night, we went to a Brazilian steakhouse. It was my idea, so I paid. No problem. Earlier in the day we got a pedicure, and she paid (I didn't realize they were $35/ea until yesterday) since I paid for dinner the night before. At the bar, she got the 6 pack for the concert.
It can work out nicely, it is for us. We're both holding down full time jobs (her 2) and don't mind sharing.
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason. 0 -
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason.
When I read this sentence, I feel that it implies there is something inherently wrong in expecting the guy to pay.
I think it’s really more a preference. Everyone has different tastes and likes. I don’t think it’s wrong to say I like my partner to treat me when we go out any more than it’s wrong to for someone to say I like my partner to shave her legs.
What makes us feel loved is individual. Some feel loved when their partner does recreational activities for them. Some feel loved when their partner makes an effort to look good. If you’re never read His Needs Her Needs, you might be surprised to know that some people feel loved when their partner takes care of the house. And some people feel loved when their partner provides financially. No right or wrong here, just preferences and what works for you.0 -
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason.
I feel that it implies there is something inherently wrong in expecting the guy to pay.
I'm glad we agree on this subject!!0 -
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason.
Who is the arbiter of what is a good reason and what isn't?
There is nothing wrong with a woman believing that a man should pay if he initiates the date. And there is nothing wrong with a man expecting a woman to show some appreciation and do something nice for him, too. I don't even think it's a quid pro quo issue. I think it's just what you expect from someone who likes you and ostensibly wants to treat you well.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to this. It's unlikely that two people who have wildly different views about it are going to end up seeing each other long enough for it to matter anyway.0 -
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason.
I feel that it implies there is something inherently wrong in expecting the guy to pay.
I'm glad we agree on this subject!!
you crack me up!0 -
There's no reason why any couple/dating/bf-gf can't do the same. If there is, it should be a good reason.
I feel that it implies there is something inherently wrong in expecting the guy to pay.
I'm glad we agree on this subject!!
you crack me up! 0
