Dinner date- who pays?
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I like to take cost out of the equation as much as possible during the first 3 dates. The first date should never be dinner. Dinner will work for a 2nd date.
I don't get asked out that much by women, so I wouldn't get treated on a date. There have been dates I've been on where the woman paid and that was nice.0 -
Meh, I figure we both get seperate plates at the buffet place so she can pay for hers, and I pay for mine. Then when we go to the by the pound ice cream (they call it yogurt, and say it's by the ounce, but really, who can eat that little), I'll pay for her extra toppings, but c'mon she's gotta foot something. Now when we go out drinking I'll happily pay for at least 3 of her PBR's, or even sneak in a bottle of MD 20/20 (fruit punch of course). As you can tell, I'm a classy fella.0
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The guy pays. If I invite us to the event, I'll pay for the event itself. I'll recipricate in other ways if we go out more than a few times, like cooking dinner/packing a picnic. Other than that, if I'm paying, it's because we are platonic, just going as friends. Maybe the south is rubbing off on me, as I just *feel* "un-cherished, non-pursued" at the thought of having to pay my own way for a date someone else asked me out on.
I know a lot of guys are gonna disagree with that, but when I first became single I thought a modern woman should offer to pay half all the time and sometimes pick up the tab. It was actually my BGF who schooled me to drop the whole liberated thing, relax, and let the guy worry about all that. Seeing as most guys take me to places I would never work into my own personal budget, I do believe he was right, because I'm much more relaxed and fun to be with now. A few years from now, when the man-well is dry, maybe I'll change my mind, but for now if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I agree with you. That's how I was raised, and I still believe that's the way it should be. But I also know there's an epidemic these days of women who take advantage of a man's generosity, balk at acts of chivalry, etc., and some allowances have to be made for that. But if a guy approached me, asked me out, took me to a restaurant of his choosing, and expected me to pay, there would not be a date #2. If cost is that big of an issue, then let's go do something free. I don't need a $50 steak dinner or a $20 glass of wine. It's pretty insulting to me when a guy acts like dinner is some kind of test to see whether or not I'm after his money. You treat me like a lady, I will treat you like a man. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.
aaw Carlll.I would buy you dinner ! or at least a drink or two !LOL0 -
I have no problem paying for dates and am uncomfortable even in a casual meeting to have a lady pay her own.
Would say though that unless something obviously was moving forward by the 2nd or 3rd (not talking about sex) then that would be it.
Much beyond that and you are just paying for the company and to me not worth it.
aaw Carlll.I would buy you dinner ! or at least a drink or two !LOL
Not a chance,when we get together in May dinner is on me.
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I view it as a sense of entitlement. I'm all about courtship in the beginning and will def. pay in the beginning. If the expectation that I'm supposed to empty my bank account at someone else's expense due to gender roles is a sustained view in her eyes then it's a deal breaker. I'd rather be single.0
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Guy pays, hands down first time for sure... Its a gentlemenly thing to do. You are taking her out for dinner therefore you pay. Even a girl asked me out, I would still probably pay. If she insisted totally I would still try to pay at least half and try and slip it in her handbag or something haha.
Totally this! This is a gentlemen! Boys take note!!!
Women... this is what we should expect ... a true MAN!
IF II were to ask a guy out, I would be the one going for the check. But if he offered... it would score seriously major bonus points. And I would let him pay.
but I would also offer to get the next one...or repay in some other way....
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If he asks me out I will pay, if I ask him out or over - I will pay or cook. Since my funds are limited, I will gladly make him a nice homemade meal.0
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i'm old fashioned, i believe in courting and it's been working for me. i have yet to come across a guy expecting that we go dutch on a first date.
i believe that guys should pay the first 2-3 dates. but then again i also think guys should be planning most of those early dates anyway.
after those first dates, i've obviously decided that i'm interested in the guy and that i think he's a gentleman, so i dont mind going halfsies or paying for the whole thing. i've usually found that even when i do that, guys are still fighting to pay. for instance with my last boyfriend when we'd go to the movies i'd buy the tickets first because i had one of those AMC cards. even if i'd get there early and be sneaky and by the popcorn and snacks first, i'd still end up with a mysterious $20 bill in my purse :laugh:
for bigger things like trips and vacations, it definitely should be halfsies.
oh and the only times i've paid my half for first dates is when i wanted to give a hint that i wasnt even slightly interested in pursuing or being pursued for a romance with this person, this same as i'd do when out with any friend.0 -
First date guy pays for sure (I'm old fashion) but bring money incase he doesn't. After a few dates with the same person I have picked up the tab. A guy I date him and I take turns paying for dates that way it's not always just one person doing all the paying.0
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supposed to empty my bank account at someone else's expense due to gender roles is a sustained view in her eyes then it's a deal breaker. I'd rather be single.
That's too bad you feel that way about paying for dinner... you are so awesome in so many other ways .
But I should hope paying for dinner isn't equivalent to emptying your bank account. And let's not forget the expense women go through for a date, especially those of us with kids who have to hire sitters. I often spend more on sitting than the guy does on dinner.
It's not about getting all of his money. It's about being treated special in public. For some of us, there is something un-romantic about a woman paying for a dinner out.
And it’s not just paying for company, either. Some guys truly get pleasure out of doing things like that for women, much like some women (myself included) truly get pleasure out of cooking or shopping for a man. Most of my platonic guy friends are men who like “doing†for women and they’re pleased that I’ll accept in this age when so many women refuse to let a man do anything for her.0 -
For all the women that pay for dates, do you expect the man to put out? :glasses:0
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Whoever asks, should pay.
I would NEVER ask a guy out and expect him to pay...I would absolutely pay for it. However, if I were asked out by him, then of course I would hope that he would be a gentleman and pay up.
I dont like not pulling my share, though, so after a few dates, I would have no problems suggesting the next date and then paying for it. Also, there are other ways to share in the expenses rather than paying for dinner.
A few weeks ago I had a first date...we didnt do dinner, just went to live music at a bar. He paid my cover to get in, but I paid for my drink. I was pissed and embarassed about buying my own drink on the first date, but I sucked it up like a big girl.
Second date we did lunch (kinda half my suggestion, half his)...after I paid half the tab he said "I was going to get that". I wanted to say, nope, I dont expect you to get my lunch when we both agreed to meet here, but I DID expect you to get my drink on our first date...remember that??? Sigh...no more dates with this guy...0 -
For all the women that pay for dates, do you expect the man to put out? :glasses:
whoa we just commented at the same time...lol0 -
supposed to empty my bank account at someone else's expense due to gender roles is a sustained view in her eyes then it's a deal breaker. I'd rather be single.
That's too bad you feel that way about paying for dinner... you are so awesome in so many other ways .
But I should hope paying for dinner isn't equivalent to emptying your bank account. And let's not forget the expense women go through for a date, especially those of us with kids who have to hire sitters. I often spend more on sitting than the guy does on dinner.
It's not about getting all of his money. It's about being treated special in public. For some of us, there is something un-romantic about a woman paying for a dinner out.
And it’s not just paying for company, either. Some guys truly get pleasure out of doing things like that for women, much like some women (myself included) truly get pleasure out of cooking or shopping for a man. Most of my platonic guy friends are men who like “doing†for women and they’re pleased that I’ll accept in this age when so many women refuse to let a man do anything for her.
Perhaps I wasn`t clear but I differentiate dating ( regular meetings to possibly progress with a romantic relationship) and an occasional outing with friends.
Both have different terms.
If after the 3rd date her only interest was "where are you taking me this week" without,as many have said,even offering to have an in home meal prepared by her then it is clear she has little interest in being an emotional partner in a relationship.
It is at that point a fun night out to be treated to and nothing more in her mind and heart.
That would be the deal breaker,not the question of who pays.
She could easily still be a friend but I would not be considering her as someone interested in anything serious.0 -
It's not about getting all of his money. It's about being treated special in public. For some of us, there is something un-romantic about a woman paying for a dinner out.
Your answers are always how I think!
I think at first, it should be the guy, but then as you start dating more, you can split it more equally. For example, I went on a second date to a movie with this guy. I had my purse on me when we walked into the theater and he told me, "I got it." I said, "are you sure?" and he said, "yeah" and I said "thank you" and when he dropped me off at home, I said thanks again. If we were going to go out again, I would definitely offer to pay. I don't think the man has to purchase everything in the relationship, but in the beginning, I don't think the discussion of money should come up. When you're comfortable with each other, the money situation is easier to talk about.0 -
I am not sure if there has been a thread about it but given 100 % so far of the ladies here are very clear what they consider the mans responsibilities and is expected of him what does a lady bring to the beginning of a possible relationship?0
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I am not sure if there has been a thread about it but given 100 % so far of the ladies here are very clear what they consider the mans responsibilities and is expected of him what does a lady bring to the beginning of a possible relationship?
haha, financially? nothing.0 -
I am not sure if there has been a thread about it but given 100 % so far of the ladies here are very clear what they consider the mans responsibilities and is expected of him what does a lady bring to the beginning of a possible relationship?
I don't know, I personally don't think it's all about money. I don't think you can break it down to "he's bringing the money so what does she bring?" Dating isn't just about spending money on the other.
You're bringing your company and he is bringing his, and you are seeing if you are a compatible match for each other for the long term. I don't get why the money thing is a huge deal, unless one of the people in the relationship is ordering $100 dollar bottles of wine for example and never offering to pay.0
