Your preferred date night...?
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Why do you think I'm pissed? Quite the opposite actually. If someone says she can't hang out for two weeks I'm not going to tell her to go f--k herself, I'll just won't put a whole lot of effort. If I ask someone out, they clearly know how I feel, as far as I'm concerned the ball is in their court.You can say you're busy that week w/ out having to give an explanation as to why. If the guy is interested, he'll take that at face value - ok, so how about xxx day instead? or, you suggested next Wednesday, that'll work. Then you keep in touch up until the date, letting her know you're still interested.
Until she gives you a reason to assume she's blowing you off, or lying to you about her "busy schedule" you shouldn't assume. If you let the past experience dictate your life, you're going to be right where you're at now... single and pissed.
No no, I wasn't referring to you man. You're good.0 -
In my opinion, you're not going to want the first date to be with a girl who's coming off a days work in her work clothes. Girls are going to feel "unpretty" or whatever if they don't get to shower/get ready. Then she's not going to be fully into the date, in the back of her mind she's going to worry if she looks good enough, is her hair ok, etc etc.
Fair enough, agree to disagree on that. Sort of a male/female difference that I just won't understand. I will go out with someone in my work clothes for all I care. But if you looking your best is more important than hanging out with someone you like then so be it.
Oh come on, you have to admit he has a point though. That phrase gets thrown around a lot around here, especially by women. Now all of the sudden dates take 3-4 hours and can't be rushed? I've been on coffee dates where we only hung out for 30-45 minutes. Generally people spend more time than that cooking dinner, why not just meet for a quick bite? And in my experience if both people like each other the date is ENJOYED even if it is rushed. So there's no point in hanging out if you can't spend 3-4 hours together?Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
Get real, it is not just an hour or two for a date. You aren't considering prep or driving time. Realistically a date is a 3-4 hour investment - on the LOW side. Some weeks really DO get so busy that it's really no feasible to try and force in a rushed date, instead of waiting a week or two for when things can actually be, I don't know, ENJOYED?
I didn't say the DATE itself took 3-4 hours, I'm totally okay with the date lasting 1-2 hours itself, what you're discounting it how long it takes to get ready for the date. Sure for work I can shower and be ready in 30 minutes, but if I'm meeting up with a guy I really like I'm not exactly going to put on my work face, am I? I'm going to take the time to make myself awesome. So it's not a matter of finding one free hour in any given day. Especially not for a first date.0 -
You might not be able to tell the difference in her appearance, but you'd notice a difference in attitude.
I always want to look my best, whether I'm on a date or doing the grocery shopping. I feel more confident and more relaxed when I feel good about the way I look, and that will make a date go a lot better than if my thoughts are dominated with questions about whether I look hot enough for you to be attracted to me and proud to be seen with me. I know that's another thing women tend to overanalyze (we wouldn't be on a date if there wasn't some attraction), but it is what it is. And I think you'd rather be on a date with a woman who likes the way she looks.
Pssst....If I have asked you out that has already been established,don`t even give it a thought after that,it is self defeating.
^^ Yup, I always find it funny when gals say "I spent so much time getting ready for you" or "I just want to look good for you" Gotta call BS!!! You girls do that for you not for us.... I don't care if show up in sweat pants, if I expressed interest I already find you attractive.
It is for you to some extent. Like I said, I'm more confident if I feel good about how I look, which means I'm going to be friendlier, funnier, more open, more talkative, just generally more pleasant to be around. If I didn't care about being good company for you, it wouldn't be such a big deal.0 -
In my opinion, you're not going to want the first date to be with a girl who's coming off a days work in her work clothes. Girls are going to feel "unpretty" or whatever if they don't get to shower/get ready. Then she's not going to be fully into the date, in the back of her mind she's going to worry if she looks good enough, is her hair ok, etc etc.
Fair enough, agree to disagree on that. Sort of a male/female difference that I just won't understand. I will go out with someone in my work clothes for all I care. But if you looking your best is more important than hanging out with someone you like then so be it.
Oh come on, you have to admit he has a point though. That phrase gets thrown around a lot around here, especially by women. Now all of the sudden dates take 3-4 hours and can't be rushed? I've been on coffee dates where we only hung out for 30-45 minutes. Generally people spend more time than that cooking dinner, why not just meet for a quick bite? And in my experience if both people like each other the date is ENJOYED even if it is rushed. So there's no point in hanging out if you can't spend 3-4 hours together?Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
Get real, it is not just an hour or two for a date. You aren't considering prep or driving time. Realistically a date is a 3-4 hour investment - on the LOW side. Some weeks really DO get so busy that it's really no feasible to try and force in a rushed date, instead of waiting a week or two for when things can actually be, I don't know, ENJOYED?
I didn't say the DATE itself took 3-4 hours, I'm totally okay with the date lasting 1-2 hours itself, what you're discounting it how long it takes to get ready for the date. Sure for work I can shower and be ready in 30 minutes, but if I'm meeting up with a guy I really like I'm not exactly going to put on my work face, am I? I'm going to take the time to make myself awesome. So it's not a matter of finding one free hour in any given day. Especially not for a first date.
Important point. I love the process of getting ready for a date. It's fun. It makes me nervous/excited. I'm fine with a right-after-work date (I look pretty hot in my work clothes, not gonna lie) if that's all we can fit into our schedules, but I like to sexify myself before a date.0 -
Why do you think I'm pissed? Quite the opposite actually. If someone says she can't hang out for two weeks I'm not going to tell her to go f--k herself, I'll just won't put a whole lot of effort. If I ask someone out, they clearly know how I feel, as far as I'm concerned the ball is in their court.You can say you're busy that week w/ out having to give an explanation as to why. If the guy is interested, he'll take that at face value - ok, so how about xxx day instead? or, you suggested next Wednesday, that'll work. Then you keep in touch up until the date, letting her know you're still interested.
Until she gives you a reason to assume she's blowing you off, or lying to you about her "busy schedule" you shouldn't assume. If you let the past experience dictate your life, you're going to be right where you're at now... single and pissed.
No no, I wasn't referring to you man. You're good.
I'm not pissed either.0 -
Well, that's like telling a woman not to worry about what a man thinks when he sees her naked for the first time. It's going to happen. You can't talk her out of it.
I simply don`t think that has to be the case,if one can be determined in other areas then they can learn to do the same in this one.
It takes a willingness though.
Your previous post about how the whole thing makes you excited and giddy is what is important to you,that is fine but understand you are making a choice.0 -
Why do you think I'm pissed? Quite the opposite actually. If someone says she can't hang out for two weeks I'm not going to tell her to go f--k herself, I'll just won't put a whole lot of effort. If I ask someone out, they clearly know how I feel, as far as I'm concerned the ball is in their court.You can say you're busy that week w/ out having to give an explanation as to why. If the guy is interested, he'll take that at face value - ok, so how about xxx day instead? or, you suggested next Wednesday, that'll work. Then you keep in touch up until the date, letting her know you're still interested.
Until she gives you a reason to assume she's blowing you off, or lying to you about her "busy schedule" you shouldn't assume. If you let the past experience dictate your life, you're going to be right where you're at now... single and pissed.
No no, I wasn't referring to you man. You're good.
I'm not pissed either.
See above. You're not the one who got upset and deleted a phone number. It was more of a generalization/blanket statement as well.0 -
Well, that's like telling a woman not to worry about what a man thinks when he sees her naked for the first time. It's going to happen. You can't talk her out of it.
I simply don`t think that has to be the case,if one can be determined in other areas then they can learn to do the same in this one.
It takes a willingness though.
Your previous post about how the whole thing makes you excited and giddy is what is important to you,that is fine but understand you are making a choice.
I've definitely been a fly on a wall here, but I do want to say something about the "naked" statement.
TRUE and FALSE- when I was in my 20s I would think about the first time I'd be naked in front of a guy and it was always stressful. I worried about it every time. Now, I'm approaching 40. I could give a rip about me being naked in front of a guy. I've had kids, my stomach is a mess and I'm a lot less worried about what I look like naked. If I'm at a point in a relationship where I'm with a guy and we're naked - it's a damn good thing and if I worry about the small stuff it'd make the important stuff not so much fun. I definitely think this is an age thing.... or maybe it's just a me thing.0 -
And that's the thing about the "right" woman ... the one who knocks you off your feet, who takes your breath away, who miraculously feels the same way about you, who never tires of looking into your eyes and telling you how much she appreciates how hard you try to make her feel special. You will not feel like you are doing all the work and getting nothing back from her. You will not feel like walking away because you didn't get sex after a few dates. You will not feel like a dog begging for her attention.
Love this!!0 -
Well, that's like telling a woman not to worry about what a man thinks when he sees her naked for the first time. It's going to happen. You can't talk her out of it.
I simply don`t think that has to be the case,if one can be determined in other areas then they can learn to do the same in this one.
It takes a willingness though.
Your previous post about how the whole thing makes you excited and giddy is what is important to you,that is fine but understand you are making a choice.
I've definitely been a fly on a wall here, but I do want to say something about the "naked" statement.
TRUE and FALSE- when I was in my 20s I would think about the first time I'd be naked in front of a guy and it was always stressful. I worried about it every time. Now, I'm approaching 40. I could give a rip about me being naked in front of a guy. I've had kids, my stomach is a mess and I'm a lot less worried about what I look like naked. If I'm at a point in a relationship where I'm with a guy and we're naked - it's a damn good thing and if I worry about the small stuff it'd make the important stuff not so much fun. I definitely think this is an age thing.... or maybe it's just a me thing.
^^^^^^this... When I was younger I cared if a guy freaked out when I was naked.... Maybe its the weight loss or the working out but now I think most men are just happy that a woman is getting naked with them..... FWB told me one of the sexiest things is that I will walk around my room naked after twirling lol.......0 -
Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
As a woman, I have to say this is true. If a guy asked me out and I was really interested, I would drop something to go out with him., or at least spare an hour for him! Things that I'm not interested in, I push to the back burner, and find excuses for, like "oh gosh I'm so busy." But maybe people are genuinely busy? I don't know.
If a woman does say this to a man, I think the man should say, "Okay, well shoot me a text or call when you know you're going to be free if you'd like to go out." If she leaves it hanging, put the ball in her court. If it was an excuse, she won't call, and if it was the truth, she will say, "I'm free X X X days," and then the man can ask her out for real.0 -
In my opinion, you're not going to want the first date to be with a girl who's coming off a days work in her work clothes. Girls are going to feel "unpretty" or whatever if they don't get to shower/get ready. Then she's not going to be fully into the date, in the back of her mind she's going to worry if she looks good enough, is her hair ok, etc etc.
Fair enough, agree to disagree on that. Sort of a male/female difference that I just won't understand. I will go out with someone in my work clothes for all I care. But if you looking your best is more important than hanging out with someone you like then so be it.
Oh come on, you have to admit he has a point though. That phrase gets thrown around a lot around here, especially by women. Now all of the sudden dates take 3-4 hours and can't be rushed? I've been on coffee dates where we only hung out for 30-45 minutes. Generally people spend more time than that cooking dinner, why not just meet for a quick bite? And in my experience if both people like each other the date is ENJOYED even if it is rushed. So there's no point in hanging out if you can't spend 3-4 hours together?Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
Get real, it is not just an hour or two for a date. You aren't considering prep or driving time. Realistically a date is a 3-4 hour investment - on the LOW side. Some weeks really DO get so busy that it's really no feasible to try and force in a rushed date, instead of waiting a week or two for when things can actually be, I don't know, ENJOYED?
I didn't say the DATE itself took 3-4 hours, I'm totally okay with the date lasting 1-2 hours itself, what you're discounting it how long it takes to get ready for the date. Sure for work I can shower and be ready in 30 minutes, but if I'm meeting up with a guy I really like I'm not exactly going to put on my work face, am I? I'm going to take the time to make myself awesome. So it's not a matter of finding one free hour in any given day. Especially not for a first date.
So True!0 -
I understand what y'all are saying, everyone WANTS to look their best for someone they like. But if you only had a small window of time to see somebody would you really rather not see them at all than show up not looking your best?
I know I'd rather hang out with someone that showed me that she's willing to make time for me than someone who doesn't because she's insecure about the way she looks.0 -
If I only had a small window of time, no, I would not turn down a date just because I didn't have hours to get ready. And even though I am a severe Type A personality, I've become a lot more relaxed on the "every minute of my day must be planned in advance" thing in recent years. So it would not freak me out if the guy I'm seeing called me and said "Can you be ready for dinner in 30 minutes?" But I can say this because I'm usually prepared. I always look nice when I leave home, even if I'm just running errands.
But I think men sometimes take for granted that they can be showered, dressed, and walking out the door in 15 minutes, and they think if a woman can't do the same, she must be vain or high-maintenance, that she's choosing her appearance over him. The reality is that that's a false choice. If I can't be happy about the way I look AND be with a man I like, what is the point?
This is why women get pissed off and are in a bad mood all night when you guys rush us through the process of getting ready and then act like we're being selfish because we wanted to look nice. We don't understand it. Do you like the way we look when we get dressed up for a date? Then please stop complaining about how long it takes us to look that way.0 -
Yes, we appreciate all of your hard work in getting ready and looking pretty for us. We also get annoyed when it takes you an hour to get ready to go see a movie or go grocery shopping. It is selfish, you even don't necessarily get ready for us (maybe for the first few dates), you get ready so you can feel better about yourself. If we like you enough we think you look great no matter what. My ex was the same way, she couldn't leave the house without making herself look pretty. After a while it was just like, "Can't we just go eat already, I'm hungry."
Women just care much more about what other people think of them, and how they look. I personally have no shame, I typically run errands after the gym in gym shorts and a t-shirt. I don't really care what I look like when I'm buying groceries.
I don't really see anyone complaining that it takes you so long to get ready for a date. All I was really saying is if someone is too busy to see me then I will probably lose interest, so it's better to show up looking a little disheveled than not show up at all.0 -
Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
As a woman, I have to say this is true. If a guy asked me out and I was really interested, I would drop something to go out with him., or at least spare an hour for him! Things that I'm not interested in, I push to the back burner, and find excuses for, like "oh gosh I'm so busy." But maybe people are genuinely busy? I don't know.
If a woman does say this to a man, I think the man should say, "Okay, well shoot me a text or call when you know you're going to be free if you'd like to go out." If she leaves it hanging, put the ball in her court. If it was an excuse, she won't call, and if it was the truth, she will say, "I'm free X X X days," and then the man can ask her out for real.
I only use "busy" as an excuse... obviously because I'm not interested or don't want to do something. I think it's safe to say if you here busy, your not on the top of someones list.0 -
Yes, we appreciate all of your hard work in getting ready and looking pretty for us. We also get annoyed when it takes you an hour to get ready to go see a movie or go grocery shopping. It is selfish, you even don't necessarily get ready for us (maybe for the first few dates), you get ready so you can feel better about yourself. If we like you enough we think you look great no matter what. My ex was the same way, she couldn't leave the house without making herself look pretty. After a while it was just like, "Can't we just go eat already, I'm hungry."
Women just care much more about what other people think of them, and how they look. I personally have no shame, I typically run errands after the gym in gym shorts and a t-shirt. I don't really care what I look like when I'm buying groceries.
I don't really see anyone complaining that it takes you so long to get ready for a date. All I was really saying is if someone is too busy to see me then I will probably lose interest, so it's better to show up looking a little disheveled than not show up at all.
Okay, but you just said you get annoyed when it takes a woman an hour to get ready to go see a movie. That's what I mean when I say "complaining." But I guess asking you not to be annoyed by it doesn't make you less annoyed by it, any more than telling a woman she looks great will make her believe it if she doesn't already.0 -
Well really it's not annoying unless we're waiting for you. If we're hungry or if we miss the beginning of a movie because you had to put on makeup even though we'll be in a dark theater most of the time it can be annoying. But usually it's not a big deal. If it doesn't effect me I don't care, take three hours if you want.0
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To be fair, I was specifying the first date, or even the first few dates, as when I want to really make myself look like a realistic yet slightly shinier version of me. Obviously if we start dating more you will see the me that just gets off work, you will see the me that just got back from a run, you will see the me that's just woken up after having a couple drinks the night before, you will see the me that says "hell I'm going to the grocery store, I'm going to put my hair in a ponytail and wear my beat up shoes". Those are the times where it'll be moments of coming over and read with me and I'm in my PJ's. But for the first date, allow me to be at my best, yeah? It's like passing gas, you wouldn't do that on the first date. But God knows at some point you're going to try and pull a dutch oven.
Tying this back into the point, yes, there are women that say they're too busy this week and is next week okay that actually mean it. Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.0 -
Well really it's not annoying unless we're waiting for you. If we're hungry or if we miss the beginning of a movie because you had to put on makeup even though we'll be in a dark theater most of the time it can be annoying. But usually it's not a big deal. If it doesn't effect me I don't care, take three hours if you want.
That's not an issue of a girl taking too long, it's a girl that's inconsiderate because she didn't bother getting ready early enough even though she knows how long it would take her to get ready. The problem isn't that she's trying to doll up, it's that she's not punctual and rude. My roommate has this problem with his girlfriend, she says she'll be somewhere at five and doesn't show up until almost 7:30.0
