The mythical "ideal partner" (?)
flimflamfloz
Posts: 1,980 Member
We often hear people talk about "the ideal partner" here or in other places...
Ideal:
"Conforming to an ultimate standard of perfection or excellence; embodying an ideal"
"The idea of something that is perfect; something that one hopes to attain"
I personally define "ideal partner" as:
"the partner that is perfect for me" not as "a perfect partner".
So when I talk about an ideal partner (for me), I'm not talking about some idealistic person (perfect person that I can only dream to find).
What is your definition of "the ideal partner"?
Is it a realistic one?
Would you be willing to settle for an imperfect person and why?
(I'm just trying to clarify a bit this idea of "ideal partner", notion that we see flying around and would like to grasp what people have in mind when they use this expression)
Ideal:
"Conforming to an ultimate standard of perfection or excellence; embodying an ideal"
"The idea of something that is perfect; something that one hopes to attain"
I personally define "ideal partner" as:
"the partner that is perfect for me" not as "a perfect partner".
So when I talk about an ideal partner (for me), I'm not talking about some idealistic person (perfect person that I can only dream to find).
What is your definition of "the ideal partner"?
Is it a realistic one?
Would you be willing to settle for an imperfect person and why?
(I'm just trying to clarify a bit this idea of "ideal partner", notion that we see flying around and would like to grasp what people have in mind when they use this expression)
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Replies
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I'm not looking for a perfect person - that would be way too much pressure on me! I want someone that is imperfect in ways similar to me.
I know my ideal partner exists, I know him personally. So until I find someone that makes me feel like he does, someone that measures up in the characteristics important to me, someone that values me in return - then no. I'm in no rush to settle.0 -
Oh, I agree. Ideal for ME!! Not such thing as a perfect person. Just perfect for ME!
I have met my ideal person, he's kind and generous, sexy and chatty. He's always in support of me, but wont take my BS! He compliments me but not overly so, just so as I know that I am beautiful to him. He is 'nice' to me and all people. he's a gent. But he doesn't suffer fools. He is independent and free spirited. He doesnt want to be tied down or told what to do. He's funny and smiley and doesnt like arguments. Yet, he's opinionated, discerning and chilled out.
There are other things, that I love and not so love about him, but like I said, nobody is perfect :bigsmile:0 -
I fully concur with your definition of ideal/perfect partner for ME.
Different strokes for different folks, so I do not subscribe to a perfect woman/man theory. I subscribe to a perfect for me or perfect for you theory.0 -
Hmm...food for thought...0
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Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.0 -
Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.
If you don't ask for much.. you aren't going to get much.
I'd like to find someone who I share some common interests with. I'd like to feel I don't have to compromise my hobbies (whether it's the gym, shooting guns, football, etc) when I have a partner. If she was into the ballet, I'd gladly take her every so often as long as it doesn't happen to be on a Sunday afternoon during football season. :laugh:0 -
Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.
If you don't ask for much.. you aren't going to get much.
I'd like to find someone who I share some common interests with. I'd like to feel I don't have to compromise my hobbies (whether it's the gym, shooting guns, football, etc) when I have a partner. If she was into the ballet, I'd gladly take her every so often as long as it doesn't happen to be on a Sunday afternoon during football season. :laugh:
Sundays are for football period0 -
MY ideal partner..
I'm throwing around the idea of what I want, as compared to what I need.
I always say I want someone quite simliar to myself (or what I consider myself to be) - fun, outgoing, a great conversationalist, zest for life, different way of looking at the world, emotionally open.. etc.
I'm starting to wonder though if that makes the best "partner" for me. The idea of yin/yang and balance is starting to appeal.. of each of us taking on different roles that complement and work together. Part of this concept is that the balance is also fluid and ever changing, but complete. Perhaps I get to be the emotional, nurturing, funny, outgoing one.. while he is stronger in terms of leadership, responsibility, maturity and protection..
That doesn't mean that we won't share the same interests possibly, be emotional together or have a similar sense of humour or way of looking at the world..but it might mean I should look a little more carefully at who would complement me..instead of simply amusing me.0 -
Perfect is a strong word. I don't think anyone out there is perfect, or even perfect for me. I mean, my girlfriend is great but she could look a little more like Mila Kunis and be a better cook, but I'll take it.0
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The perfect person for me...
Patient, kind, understanding, funny, loving, smart, responsible but also a bit silly. Someone that makes me a more patient person, someone who encourages me to step out of my box, be spontaneous. Someone who supports me in whatever I try and encourages me to never give up (because I tend to do that when left to my own devices).0 -
Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.
If you don't ask for much.. you aren't going to get much.
I'd like to find someone who I share some common interests with. I'd like to feel I don't have to compromise my hobbies (whether it's the gym, shooting guns, football, etc) when I have a partner. If she was into the ballet, I'd gladly take her every so often as long as it doesn't happen to be on a Sunday afternoon during football season. :laugh:
Or if you ask for too much you won`t get any of it.
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Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.
If you don't ask for much.. you aren't going to get much.
I'd like to find someone who I share some common interests with. I'd like to feel I don't have to compromise my hobbies (whether it's the gym, shooting guns, football, etc) when I have a partner. If she was into the ballet, I'd gladly take her every so often as long as it doesn't happen to be on a Sunday afternoon during football season. :laugh:
I agree with Carl, but also with Mike. I feel like finding a person that shares my same goals and values should not be that hard to find. Now, finding that person with some of the same interests as me and we magically find each other is what is proving more difficult. I still think that finding a guy to teach me to shoot guns would be incredibly sexy, so that would be an added bonus. 0 -
Ocho Pinko is my ideal partner right now. Boys drool.0
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someone who shares the same goals, values, world view and we are both mutually attracted enough to not mind sticking each other's chocolate in the peanut butter.
possibility wise i dont think it's that hard but probability is another thing. like i've said before, that requires a lot of lightening to strike in the same place at the same time : similar visions + availability + attraction..0 -
"My" Ideal would be...
A family man that values home life, but at the same time has a good circle of friends. He's good with children and a great role model. Loves football and baseball, and doesn't blink when I cuss at a bad call once in awhile. He's goofy, but knows when to be serious. Financially and emotionally stable, doesn't live with his parents (or roommates). Physically fit and enjoys the outdoors. Can normally be found in jeans/shorts, but doesn't mind cleaning up in a suit.
So, yeah. That's it.0 -
Ideal partner! hahaha. I live by this quote:
"I'm not shooting for a successful relationship at his point, I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very very low"--Bye Bye Love0 -
"My" Ideal would be...
A family man that values home life, but at the same time has a good circle of friends. He's good with children and a great role model. Loves football and baseball, and doesn't blink when I cuss at a bad call once in awhile. He's goofy, but knows when to be serious. Financially and emotionally stable, doesn't live with his parents (or roommates). Physically fit and enjoys the outdoors. Can normally be found in jeans/shorts, but doesn't mind cleaning up in a suit.
So, yeah. That's it.
That sports thing again, huh?
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"My" Ideal would be...
A family man that values home life, but at the same time has a good circle of friends. He's good with children and a great role model. Loves football and baseball, and doesn't blink when I cuss at a bad call once in awhile. He's goofy, but knows when to be serious. Financially and emotionally stable, doesn't live with his parents (or roommates). Physically fit and enjoys the outdoors. Can normally be found in jeans/shorts, but doesn't mind cleaning up in a suit.
So, yeah. That's it.
That sports thing again, huh?
LMAO! You bet, don't have a choice when you're born in WI. I have faith that he's out there.
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"My" Ideal would be...
A family man that values home life, but at the same time has a good circle of friends. He's good with children and a great role model. Loves football and baseball, and doesn't blink when I cuss at a bad call once in awhile. He's goofy, but knows when to be serious. Financially and emotionally stable, doesn't live with his parents (or roommates). Physically fit and enjoys the outdoors. Can normally be found in jeans/shorts, but doesn't mind cleaning up in a suit.
So, yeah. That's it.
I can so tell that you're a single parent....me too. So, I have to agree. The above sounds dreamy.
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Being a woman who likes sports I swear is a deterrent. I'm a sports writer and I can't even pay a guy to go out with me. I hope it works well for other women!0
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"My" Ideal would be...
A family man that values home life, but at the same time has a good circle of friends. He's good with children and a great role model. Loves football and baseball, and doesn't blink when I cuss at a bad call once in awhile. He's goofy, but knows when to be serious. Financially and emotionally stable, doesn't live with his parents (or roommates). Physically fit and enjoys the outdoors. Can normally be found in jeans/shorts, but doesn't mind cleaning up in a suit.
So, yeah. That's it.
I can so tell that you're a singler parent....me too. So, I have to agree. The above sounds dreamy.
LOL, I agree.... might be a dream, but I can hope right?0 -
I like this question because I really can't answer it.
I've probably been in love twice, both ideal at the time, both with qualities that I'd look for now, but completely opposite of each other, so I 'm not sure I can define ideal because neither of these people appeared in any way ideal to me at first. One of them is a total recluse- something that would have never been "ideal" or even tolerable- but I grew to accept it. Things that seem non-negotiable like the ability to socialize in a comfortable way or even intelligence might not really be non-negotiable to me- my mom is probably measurably more intelligent than my dad (although he's still smart and awesome).
Maybe ideal is just that whoever he is - he accepts me (and my daughter) and I find whatever I need to find in him to do the same?0 -
Being a woman who likes sports I swear is a deterrent. I'm a sports writer and I can't even pay a guy to go out with me. I hope it works well for other women!
My ex-husband hates sports, which I never understood, but accepted. After the divorce, I swore I'd always be "me" and not settle. There are some men that don't care for sports loving women, but they're not the men for me. I have found that the more I can be myself, the happier I am (even if it means being single). That said....I've found that in my mid-30s, men are much more accepting of the sports loving side of me. 0 -
Being a woman who likes sports I swear is a deterrent. I'm a sports writer and I can't even pay a guy to go out with me. I hope it works well for other women!
I agree. Guys are not enamored of women who may know more about sports than they do! It feels like encroachment upon our special world. Granted, women are not usually sexually attracted to men with deep knowledge of women's shoes and handbags.
I like a woman who is the athletic type and can play sports. Watching sports has taken more of a backseat in my life as the years progress, so I'm neutral on the whole sports watching thing. But being active is a big deal to me. It'd be nice if she played tennis, which is the sport I play best. The only time I watch tennis is during the major tournaments, and usually in the later rounds.
Also, for a female sports writer (or any female sports media member), there'd be the locker room issue. I'm not sure how many guys would feel about their girlfriends seeing naked men in the locker room after games. Locker room nudity in front of female journalists has odd outcomes (oualum-I'm sure you're familiar with the Lisa Olson Patriots incident and Ines Sainz's hullabaloo around the Jets). Personally, I favor an interview room, where no journalist sees an athlete naked. Takes odd gender dynamics out of it.
I like the Deadspin blog. Deadspin has this Anonymous PR guy question (http://deadspin.com/anonymous-pr-guy). Below was one intriguing question asked by a Deadspin reader.....
ShakeThatBear8 2 months ago
You GOTTA answer this for me!! Friends and I always debate it...how many female anchors at ESPN/FOX/ etc. get pounded by the athletes? We guess often.
AnonymousPRGuy @ShakeThatBear8 2 months ago
I don't think the anchors do - but sideline reporters most definitely! Which former ESPN sideline reporter was David Wright's side piece? Which NFL sideline reporter was A-Rod's side piece?
So there's knowledge that exists that there is contact between athletes and female journalists. A famous example was Derek Lowe when he was with the Los Angeles Dodgers cheating on his wife with Carolyn Hughes of the Fox Sports West. Lowe and Hughes later got married.
Boyfriends might be concerned about this. Trust is what matters most though.0 -
Being a woman who likes sports I swear is a deterrent. I'm a sports writer and I can't even pay a guy to go out with me. I hope it works well for other women!
My ex-husband hates sports, which I never understood, but accepted. After the divorce, I swore I'd always be "me" and not settle. There are some men that don't care for sports loving women, but they're not the men for me. I have found that the more I can be myself, the happier I am (even if it means being single). That said....I've found that in my mid-30s, men are much more accepting of the sports loving side of me.
For me, a woman that likes sports (watching or playing) is great. My last girlfriend was this way and it was so nice to be able to watch a football game or whatever and not have to explain the rules. And it made it fun and competitive between us.
So definitely would love if my next girlfriend was also a fan of sports. I think other things I look for as 'ideal' are:
A competitive spirit - where everything can be made into a game.
A sense of humor for sure (sarcastic even better as that is what mine is)
Independence - tired of going out with girls that can't hold a job and support themselves. I am done.
And a finally a sense of adventure. So breaking out of routines, traveling, trying new things. And as of late, someone who is physically active and is always trying to better themselves, as that is where I am in my life right now.
For me, physical aspects (to a degree of course) such as eye/hair color, height, weight, etc take more of a backseat.0 -
Ocho Pinko is my ideal partner right now. Boys drool.
is that your new "toy"0 -
my ideal partner is someone who is not perfect, but who is perfect for me.
if you can't laugh or play it won't work. if you think you are a god, or God's gift to the world, it won't work. if are you controlling or abusive in anyway, it won't work. if you don't like kids, it won't work. if you don't enjoy the outdoors, hiking, camping, back packing, the beach, water, lazy days by the pool, it won't work. if you think road trips are a horrible way to spend your time, it won't work. if you don't believe in personal hygiene and working out, it won't work. if you don't like being the aggressor or more dominant one, it won't work. if you can't hold a simple conversation or use the phone on occasion ( including asking for dates), it won't work. if you are a child molester or abuser, it won't work. if you are a drug addict or alcoholic, it won't work. if you live with your parents, or are married, or have a GF or other emotional issue that make you unable to detach and become emotionally available, it won't work. if you are bitter towards an ex and cannot let it go, as in NEVER stop talking about her, it won't work. if after 1 month i can't see your place, it won't work. if you don't trust me because you don't trust women in general, it won't work. if you have sexual issues that keep you from obtaining or maintaining erection, or orgasming, or your turn ons and kinky interests are something akin to acting out rape, it won't work.0 -
It takes two. I've only met half but unfortunately she did not feel the same way. She would walk into the room I was in and my face would instantly light up. I didn't know I was doing this. A friend noticed my reaction each time I saw her. But, she didn't feel the same way about me. :brokenheart:
I may have had a similar effect on some women but again it takes two and I didn't feel that way about them.
It's a chemistry thing. When I date someone I threat them special but the chemistry is elusive. I don't want to settle. I'm looking for her that sparks my Bunsen burner.0 -
if you have sexual issues that keep you from obtaining or maintaining erection, or orgasming, or your turn ons and kinky interests are something akin to acting out rape, it won't work.
OMG!! :noway: how many men like this have you met???
I met a guy once that couldnt get an erection cos his ex wife used to make him participate in swinging parties if he wanted sex. She wouldnt have sex with him alone, which rendered him impotent.
Sad eh !0 -
Ocho Pinko is my ideal partner right now. Boys drool.
is that your new "toy"
hahaha! Well done Catherine, I just googled and yes, it's pink and erect!!! :laugh:0
