The mythical "ideal partner" (?)
Replies
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I think I've found my ideal partner..
We had issues (read: I had issues) with his level of communication and letting me in, but after some good talks the doors are all open. We treat each other right, we have the same views on fitness and health, he supports all of the weird eating styles I do and even cooks for me to cater to those diets sometimes (paleo, low carb, etc), we both treats our dogs like they're our kids, we both enjoy getting outside and doing things in addition to staying in and cuddling on the couch, we're both ambitious about our futures, both love beer, and hell, we just get along great.
I had an anxiety attack yesterday (the first one in over a year), and I was on edge the whole time after that, even during and after my workout, but then I went to Steve's to say hi after I was done (he lives right by my gym) and when I left half an hour later I was relaxed and calm again.
He's the relaxing agent that calms my impatient and edgy *kitten* down. :laugh:0 -
He's the relaxing agent that calms my impatient and edgy *kitten* down. :laugh:
That right there is awesome!0 -
Best friend who I can't keep my hands off.0
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He's the relaxing agent that calms my impatient and edgy *kitten* down. :laugh:
That right there is awesome!
x2 Awwwww!! 0 -
Being a woman who likes sports I swear is a deterrent. I'm a sports writer and I can't even pay a guy to go out with me. I hope it works well for other women!
I am starting to think that women that know and can talk sports get friendzoned because when we talk about them guys automatically see you as a buddy.
It depends on how good looking you are and the manner in which you talk about it. If you know how the Triangle Offense works in basketball better than most guys, it may not work in your favor (unless you're really good looking!).
If you are a woman who played NCAA level tennis, soccer, swimming, etc & I'm meeting you out and about & you've got an athletic sexy bod still. I'm going to be interested.
Did you just say this? :noway: Ok, so the basic answer really boils down to 'shut up and look pretty' then, right? :huh:
DM - you seem to live in this sad place where everything boils down to looks. What part of America is that?? Is it near where Mike lives too??
Let me know so I can avoid it, thanks :flowerforyou:
Personally, I used to have a season ticket to my team in the English premiership. I always find my football knowledge (and other sports) an advantage when talking to guys, and I'm super respected for it too! But then, life seems to be totally different in London to what you guys portray most of the time, so....... :bigsmile:0 -
Did you just say this? :noway: Ok, so the basic answer really boils down to 'shut up and look pretty' then, right? :huh:
That's the answer to 99% of questions asked :laugh: Just kidding.
I think what DM was trying to say was that if you are trying to land a professional athlete who's worth millions, you need to bring your A game.
Question to the guys.. do you think it's intimidating dating a women who's been with a professional athlete? I briefly dated a women years ago who use to date an athlete at Boston College (who later played in the NFL). Everything was fine until I found out about this. After she told me, I was very intimidated around her.
In short, I don't think I could ever date anyone who's been with a professional athlete.
Pro-Athlete's are over rated. Had a friend that used to date Julius Peppers and she was no where near a 10. I am just talking about guys in general.
I want to marry Troy Polamalu. And Matthew Stafford. And Larry Fitzgerald. and Emmanuel Sanders. and Heath Miller.
And Hines Ward.0 -
You`re dumping me????:sad:
No peep husband! I meant to end it with .. if I wasn't already married to the best peep husband on the planet!!!! I just hit post reply too soon ..... :smooched:0 -
But then, life seems to be totally different in London to what you guys portray most of the time, so....... :bigsmile:
I wanna come to London and live!!!! Plus I can drop kick flimflam.0 -
yes, i said it just the other day 1. it all comes down to sex end of story. if a guy cannot envision himself having sex with you, then you don't stand a chance with him.
men look for sex and find love. that's what it boils down to. that's how they are hard wired.
i am not jaded. i am not being mean or nasty, i'm just stating a simple fact. every single guy i have met in the last year, has wanted to have sex with me. they haven't all wanted to date me, or have a relationship with me, but they have all wanted to have sex, or talk about sex, or fool around, or send and receive dirty pics. it's all about sex. PERIOD. i don't even have to say a word.... or be in the same room with them for that matter, LOL!!!!!!
Did you just say this? :noway: Ok, so the basic answer really boils down to 'shut up and look pretty' then, right? :huh:0 -
I think I've found my ideal partner..
We had issues (read: I had issues) with his level of communication and letting me in, but after some good talks the doors are all open. We treat each other right, we have the same views on fitness and health, he supports all of the weird eating styles I do and even cooks for me to cater to those diets sometimes (paleo, low carb, etc), we both treats our dogs like they're our kids, we both enjoy getting outside and doing things in addition to staying in and cuddling on the couch, we're both ambitious about our futures, both love beer, and hell, we just get along great.
I had an anxiety attack yesterday (the first one in over a year), and I was on edge the whole time after that, even during and after my workout, but then I went to Steve's to say hi after I was done (he lives right by my gym) and when I left half an hour later I was relaxed and calm again.
He's the relaxing agent that calms my impatient and edgy *kitten* down. :laugh:
Oh hush up you happy in love person you. :grumble:
Kidding! I think that this is so sweet! I never had anybody who could calm me. That is priceless.0 -
yes, i said it just the other day 1. it all comes down to sex end of story. if a guy cannot envision himself having sex with you, then you don't stand a chance with him.
men look for sex and find love. that's what it boils down to. that's how they are hard wired.
i am not jaded. i am not being mean or nasty, i'm just stating a simple fact. every single guy i have met in the last year, has wanted to have sex with me. they haven't all wanted to date me, or have a relationship with me, but they have all wanted to have sex, or talk about sex, or fool around, or send and receive dirty pics. it's all about sex. PERIOD. i don't even have to say a word.... or be in the same room with them for that matter, LOL!!!!!!
Did you just say this? :noway: Ok, so the basic answer really boils down to 'shut up and look pretty' then, right? :huh:
But that doesn't mean that it's ALL they are looking for. Men worth dating won't only be interested in you because you are good looking. Yes, they might want to have sex with you, but the guy you want to actually end up with will stay with you because who you are is a catch.
I myself will totally have sex with a guy that I don't even particularly care about just because I know I'd get my rocks off. Then I'd kick him out so I can read and I wouldn't feel any guilt. It's the guy that I don't want to kick out that I want to date, and it's the guy that wouldn't want to kick me out.
Sex is not a defining factor in a relationship for a lot of people. The people who do base their relationships off shallow values are the ones that don't understand why, even though they're such a "catch", they're alone.0 -
as for professional athletes.you mean, you were weirded out because of their bodies? or the fact that they got paid to play a sport? or because pros have the reputation for sleeping with everything that has a heart beat?
i think some guys do have sensitive egos when it comes to what they think they don't have compared to someone else. i know that my upbringing and previous lifestyles make some men uncomfortable. these are not things that SHOULD bruise their egos but apparently they do.....
so, i'd say that look at WHY you felt inadequate compared to this other guy and go from there. i went on a date with a guy that had told me about these models he's worked with ( he's in TV) and how he had dated a couple of them, etc. well, our first date was ok, but i was not interested in a second. i didn't even want his tongue near mine, LOL. so, regardless of his past dating history i wasn't the least bit interested in him........ that's my closest experience to what you're asking, i guess.0 -
i take that statement straight from a man's mouth.
"men look for sex and find love, women look for love and find sex."
i'm not saying that's all they are looking for IN a relationship, but, SEX is what brings them to women. sex is what makes them find someone special and sex is ultimately what makes them fall in love.
loads of men are unable to open up emotionally like women are, without some sort of physical relationship. most of the time they need to have sex to open up and be vulnerable. it's just how they are wired.......
oh i know. i am so not a guy in that arena. not at all. i couldn't even do what you described. if i'm having sex with you it's because you are special, and mean more and we are exclusive. end of story. but, it doesn't stop guys from trying....... not at all........ LOL!!!yes, i said it just the other day 1. it all comes down to sex end of story. if a guy cannot envision himself having sex with you, then you don't stand a chance with him.
men look for sex and find love. that's what it boils down to. that's how they are hard wired.
i am not jaded. i am not being mean or nasty, i'm just stating a simple fact. every single guy i have met in the last year, has wanted to have sex with me. they haven't all wanted to date me, or have a relationship with me, but they have all wanted to have sex, or talk about sex, or fool around, or send and receive dirty pics. it's all about sex. PERIOD. i don't even have to say a word.... or be in the same room with them for that matter, LOL!!!!!!
Did you just say this? :noway: Ok, so the basic answer really boils down to 'shut up and look pretty' then, right? :huh:
But that doesn't mean that it's ALL they are looking for. Men worth dating won't only be interested in you because you are good looking. Yes, they might want to have sex with you, but the guy you want to actually end up with will stay with you because who you are is a catch.
I myself will totally have sex with a guy that I don't even particularly care about just because I know I'd get my rocks off. Then I'd kick him out so I can read and I wouldn't feel any guilt. It's the guy that I don't want to kick out that I want to date, and it's the guy that wouldn't want to kick me out.
Sex is not a defining factor in a relationship for a lot of people. The people who do base their relationships off shallow values are the ones that don't understand why, even though they're such a "catch", they're alone.0 -
yes, i said it just the other day 1. it all comes down to sex end of story. if a guy cannot envision himself having sex with you, then you don't stand a chance with him.
men look for sex and find love. that's what it boils down to. that's how they are hard wired.
i am not jaded. i am not being mean or nasty, i'm just stating a simple fact. every single guy i have met in the last year, has wanted to have sex with me. they haven't all wanted to date me, or have a relationship with me, but they have all wanted to have sex, or talk about sex, or fool around, or send and receive dirty pics. it's all about sex. PERIOD. i don't even have to say a word.... or be in the same room with them for that matter, LOL!!!!!!
i'd be careful about generalized statements it's not just men who do this. i'm a woman, have been all my life, and i'm like this as well. i can't fall in love with someone i'm not sexually attracted to. no ifs and buts about that. i also know guys who dont fit your "hardwired" theory0 -
it's not my theory. take it up with the guy that wrote it.
even marc katz.......
:-)
i'd be careful about generalized statements it's not just men who do this. i'm a woman, have been all my life, and i'm like this as well. i can't fall in love with someone i'm not sexually attracted to. no ifs and buts about that. i also know guys who dont fit your "hardwired" theory0 -
it's not my theory. take it up with the guy that wrote it.
even marc katz.......
:-)
i'd be careful about generalized statements it's not just men who do this. i'm a woman, have been all my life, and i'm like this as well. i can't fall in love with someone i'm not sexually attracted to. no ifs and buts about that. i also know guys who dont fit your "hardwired" theory
i think most of the time, guys who proclaim this theory are just looking for way to excuse their own lack of self control. it's like saying women are hardwired to want rich men (which i have heard before) . MOST people (even women) are at least partially thinking about sex when they are meeting someone new .
in our society men and women are raised with different expectations regarding sex. just because many women dont admit that they are thinking about sex (or dont want to admit it to themselves) doesn't mean they arent. maybe if we didnt have a double standard regarding sex everyone could be more honest about their views on it?
i think the friendzoned males are a good example of how most women need to be sexually attracted to guys they date.0 -
FYI the whole pro-athlete thing reminded me of a scene in Moneyball.
The scouts where judging the players on how hot their wife/gf was. They were saying "If they don't have a hot wife or girlfriend than they more than likely the player lacks self confidence because no matter how ugly they are as a pro they should be able to land a hot wife"0 -
oh i think about sex all the time. i'm the first one to admit it :-) my mind is usually in the gutter.......
but, i don't go out to meet a guy to have sex, sex isn't what makes me want to meet someone.
i also won't have sex, just for the sake of having sex. that's just who i am. love sex, love talking about it, doing it, etc. but, i won't sleep with you unless we are together, in an exclusive relationship. for me, i just don't need to, so i don't.i think most of the time, guys who proclaim this theory are just looking for way to excuse their own lack of self control. it's like saying women are hardwired to want rich men (which i have heard before) . MOST people (even women) are at least partially thinking about sex when they are meeting someone new .
in our society men and women are raised with different expectations regarding sex. just because many women dont admit that they are thinking about sex (or dont want to admit it to themselves) doesn't mean they arent. maybe if we didnt have a double standard regarding sex everyone could be more honest about their views on it?
i think the friendzoned males are a good example of how most women need to be sexually attracted to guys they date.0 -
Mike - as far as not being able to date someone that's been with a professional athlete? Sounds like self esteem issues. If I was with a guy that dated a supermodel prior to me I would be -stoked- because guess who's gettin' the goods now? This gal.
I'm with Mike, I would be really intimidated. I would think, "if he could get her, why would he want me?" Sad, but true.0 -
Someone that cares about me in the same way I do her.
On the same page and sharing lifes goals and values.
I don`t ask for much.
If you don't ask for much.. you aren't going to get much.
I'd like to find someone who I share some common interests with. I'd like to feel I don't have to compromise my hobbies (whether it's the gym, shooting guns, football, etc) when I have a partner. If she was into the ballet, I'd gladly take her every so often as long as it doesn't happen to be on a Sunday afternoon during football season. :laugh:
mike you are every girl's ideal partner.0 -
If I was waiting for the perfect person...with no flaws I would tell myself no wonder you are still alone because he doesn't exist!
My Ideal partner will be full of flaws just like me
...just hopefully none of the major deal breakers that I don't think I could live with.
Perfect for me is certainly more what I'm looking for, someone who accepts me, flaws and all, strengths and weaknesses.
For example if he was a loud sneezer or played an annoying instrument..2 things my dad does that totally bug me...(I know loud sneezer is genetic and can't be fixed but it still annoys me)...if my mother was also annoyed by those things and decided he wasn't perfect and she was going to move on..I wouldn't have been born and she would have missed out on an amazing life partner.
Things like that don't bug me..I've dated men with physical disabilities..I've gone on dates with short men, fat men, ect. Its the personalities that ultimately would have been a deal breaker..do they smoke? Do they kick puppies? Do they have no sense of responsibility financially, are they lazy, no sense of humility or compassion? Those are the important things to me once the physical attraction is established.
Someday I'd like to be able to look at my ideal partner and tease him about his quirks and know that those are as much a part of him as his sexy smile, and passion for life that helped me fall for him.0 -
mike you are every girl's ideal partner.
I'm sure MANY on here will disagree :laugh:0 -
One of my favorite quotes“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
― Dr. Seuss0 -
mike you are every girl's ideal partner.
I'm sure MANY on here will disagree :laugh:
i hope you know i was being sarcastic lol.
i would never date someone who uses a number on a scale to define a woman and who will not make his woman a priority.0 -
It boils down to 3 things
1. Look Attractive
2. Show Up (This covers reliability, keeping your word, etc)
3. Be Pleasant to be Around (Be a source of joy, pleasant cognitive associations and passions, not someone who adds complications. This point is very attitudinal.)0 -
It boils down to 3 things
1. Look Attractive
2. Show Up (This covers reliability, keeping your word, etc)
3. Be Pleasant to be Around (Be a source of joy, pleasant cognitive associations and passions, not someone who adds complications. This point is very attitudinal.)
You hear that, b*tches? Get yer stepford wives on! Forget being a human being with emotions, struggles and personality. Got a problem? Hide it behind a vacant, bleached tooth smile and the perfect pot roast!
:sick:i hope you know i was being sarcastic lol.
You forgot to use your sarcasm font!
:laugh: 0 -
It boils down to 3 things
1. Look Attractive
2. Show Up (This covers reliability, keeping your word, etc)
3. Be Pleasant to be Around (Be a source of joy, pleasant cognitive associations and passions, not someone who adds complications. This point is very attitudinal.)
You hear that, b*tches? Get yer stepford wives on! Forget being a human being with emotions, struggles and personality. Got a problem? Hide it behind a vacant, bleached tooth smile and the perfect pot roast!
:sick:i hope you know i was being sarcastic lol.
You forgot to use your sarcasm font! :laugh:
I think it's OK to have emotions and personality (and bleached teeth and especially pot roast). But, don't take your daily troubles out on your partner. That goes for men and women.0 -
I'm changing my answer....
My ideal partner is Kitsune, but in male form... :drinker:0 -
I think it's OK to have emotions and personality (and bleached teeth and especially pot roast). But, don't take your daily troubles out on your partner. That goes for men and women.
Yes, it is ok to have emotions and personality. Pot roast is good too. I'd like someone to cook me a pot roast.
Taking troubles out, diva-ish behaviors, unreturned calls/texts and a rude 'tude aren't the best things.0 -
It boils down to 3 things
1. Look Attractive
2. Show Up (This covers reliability, keeping your word, etc)
3. Be Pleasant to be Around (Be a source of joy, pleasant cognitive associations and passions, not someone who adds complications. This point is very attitudinal.)
You hear that, b*tches? Get yer stepford wives on! Forget being a human being with emotions, struggles and personality. Got a problem? Hide it behind a vacant, bleached tooth smile and the perfect pot roast!
:sick:i hope you know i was being sarcastic lol.
You forgot to use your sarcasm font! :laugh:
I think it's OK to have emotions and personality (and bleached teeth and especially pot roast). But, don't take your daily troubles out on your partner. That goes for men and women.
I certainly don't advocate taking your troubles out on your partner! But troubles exist and I don't advocate faking that everything is dandy for the sake of being "pleasant to be around". (I do make a divine pot roast though )My ideal partner is Kitsune, but in male form... :drinker:
How YOU doin'? :laugh: 0
