I confess- Single Peeps version
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No one wants you to leave Dave. Don't be a quitter. But like I've said before, if what you are doing isn't working and the way you think the world is might not be correct, try something else. Nothing is gospel truth, you don't know if something is better until you try it.0
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I confess, this thread took a dramtic turn that I didn't see coming!! :noway:0
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I confess that I am leaving this group, effective immediately.
How about this? Instead of leaving, just start learning from others. Have your opinion and what has worked for you, yet at the same time let them have THEIR opinion and acknowledge what has worked for THEM. And stop robotically quoting research and other documentation as if it were gospel truth when, in fact, it's not working for YOU either.
I don’t think anyone wants you to leave.
I agree with this 100% :frown:0 -
I confess that I am leaving this group, effective immediately.
How about this? Instead of leaving, just start learning from others. Have your opinion and what has worked for you, yet at the same time let them have THEIR opinion and acknowledge what has worked for THEM. And stop robotically quoting research and other documentation as if it were gospel truth when, in fact, it's not working for YOU either.
And vice versa for those who always jump all over DM (and Mike, for that matter) for expressing their opinion?
I confess that I find this board confusing. It seems like only certain people are allowed to have an opinion. I may not agree with everything DM says, but his opinion certainly isn't out of the norm for a lot of men his age. It's confusing to me why he constantly gets jumped all over.
I'll miss your posts, DM.0 -
I confess that I am leaving this group, effective immediately.
How about this? Instead of leaving, just start learning from others. Have your opinion and what has worked for you, yet at the same time let them have THEIR opinion and acknowledge what has worked for THEM. And stop robotically quoting research and other documentation as if it were gospel truth when, in fact, it's not working for YOU either.
And vice versa for those who always jump all over DM (and Mike, for that matter) for expressing their opinion?
I confess that I find this board confusing. It seems like only certain people are allowed to have an opinion. I may not agree with everything DM says, but his opinion certainly isn't out of the norm for a lot of men his age. It's confusing to me why he constantly gets jumped all over.
I'll miss your posts, DM.
Certainly can't speak for others, but I don't jump on people for having an opinion. I will, however, call them out for refusing to accept that someone else has a different experience and putting others down for having an opinion or experience that conflicts with their personal value system.
In fact, I rarely have a problm with DM's posts, as they are indiciative of his age group and experience, but I suspect that my advice would help him out with the people who do.0 -
I confess that I am leaving this group, effective immediately.
How about this? Instead of leaving, just start learning from others. Have your opinion and what has worked for you, yet at the same time let them have THEIR opinion and acknowledge what has worked for THEM. And stop robotically quoting research and other documentation as if it were gospel truth when, in fact, it's not working for YOU either.
And vice versa for those who always jump all over DM (and Mike, for that matter) for expressing their opinion?
I confess that I find this board confusing. It seems like only certain people are allowed to have an opinion. I may not agree with everything DM says, but his opinion certainly isn't out of the norm for a lot of men his age. It's confusing to me why he constantly gets jumped all over.
I'll miss your posts, DM.
Certainly can't speak for others, but I don't jump on people for having an opinion. I will, however, call them out for refusing to accept that someone else has a different experience and putting others down for having an opinion or experience that conflicts with their personal value system.
In fact, I rarely have a problm with DM's posts, as they are indiciative of his age group and experience, but I suspect that my advice would help him out with the people who do.
Having an opinion is one thing.
Sharing that opinion in an offensive manner over and over and over again, refusing to consider other viewpoints and constantly insisting that ONLY THEY ARE RIGHT and everyone else is dismissible is quite another.
Person A: I believe XYZ
Person B: Oh really? I've found that ABC is true based on blah blah blah
Person A: No. It's XYZ because blatantly offensive generalization.0 -
Certainly can't speak for others, but I don't jump on people for having an opinion. I will, however, call them out for refusing to accept that someone else has a different experience and putting others down for having an opinion or experience that conflicts with their personal value system.
In fact, I rarely have a problm with DM's posts, as they are indiciative of his age group and experience, but I suspect that my advice would help him out with the people who do.
I think it's a matter of being the bigger person and being able to let stuff slide. Janie, you posted today how you would be a little leery of dating a man who recently lost a lot of weight. Somewhat insensitive because this is a weight loss site and people are looking for dating advice.
However, no one jumped all over you for it. We all read it (even guys who have recently lost a lot of weight), took it with a grain of salt, and went on our merry way. We let a lot of ridiculous generalizations slide, stuff about criticizing a mans use of a coupon on the first date to him not wearing a nicer shirt on a date. It's all pretty minor in the big scheme of things.
It's just sad that everyone jumped over DM whenever he was out of line.0 -
I think it's a matter of being the bigger person and being able to let stuff slide. Janie, you posted today how you would be a little leery of dating a man who recently lost a lot of weight. Somewhat insensitive because this is a weight loss site and people are looking for dating advice.
haha I find it funny that a man who has said the same thing but in harsher language AND seems to enjoy riling eveyrone up would call *me* insensitive. hehe.
Edit to add: and here I was, especially since I'm one of the more popular folks to be "jumped on," thinking that everyone simply ignored that post bc they were so enthralled with the backs on display. Turns out everyone was just being "the bigger person" (bad pun, I know).0 -
I think it's a matter of being the bigger person and being able to let stuff slide. Janie, you posted today how you would be a little leery of dating a man who recently lost a lot of weight. Somewhat insensitive because this is a weight loss site and people are looking for dating advice.
haha I find it funny that a man who has said the same thing but in harsher language AND seems to enjoy riling eveyrone up would call *me* insensitive. hehe.
Edit to add: and here I was, especially since I'm one of the more popular folks to be "jumped on," thinking that everyone simply ignored that post bc they were so enthralled with the backs on display. Turns out everyone was just being "the bigger person" (bad pun, I know).
Saying "I would be leery about dating someone who used to be very overweight" is NOT comparable to "Women over 27 are not desirable".
HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS?
Janie, you did nothing wrong.0 -
I think it's a matter of being the bigger person and being able to let stuff slide. Janie, you posted today how you would be a little leery of dating a man who recently lost a lot of weight. Somewhat insensitive because this is a weight loss site and people are looking for dating advice.
haha I find it funny that a man who has said the same thing but in harsher language AND seems to enjoy riling eveyrone up would call *me* insensitive. hehe.
Edit to add: and here I was, especially since I'm one of the more popular folks to be "jumped on," thinking that everyone simply ignored that post bc they were so enthralled with the backs on display. Turns out everyone was just being "the bigger person" (bad pun, I know).
Saying "I would be leery about dating someone who used to be very overweight" is NOT comparable to "Women over 27 are not desirable".
HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS?
Janie, you did nothing wrong.
Yeah, but statements like "Women over 27 are not desirable" are so absurd that why even address them? Why even get offended about it? So what if someone on here feels that way? I, for one, know it isn't true at all because I'm well over 27 and get hit on all the time by men -- many of them younger than me. So when I read statements like that, I nod, smile, and go on my merry way, knowing that when said poster gets a little older his opinion will likely change.
Also, it isn't that different of a statement. If the women who are over 27 get offended by a poster saying they aren't desirable, then why wouldn't someone who was once very overweight get offended because another poster might be leery of dating them? Maybe one statement is a little more blunt than another, but both still target a group of people posting on this board. (And Janie -- I agree with you on this 100%, and I love your posts, so don't think I'm picking on you here!
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I think everyone is entitled to an opinion. And anyone is entitled to be offended by it.
As DM said, he never intended to offend. But he did. So, that's that!
ETA: I have no idea what he said or who he offended, but those are the facts as stated in his departure note.0 -
I think it's a matter of being the bigger person and being able to let stuff slide. Janie, you posted today how you would be a little leery of dating a man who recently lost a lot of weight. Somewhat insensitive because this is a weight loss site and people are looking for dating advice.
haha I find it funny that a man who has said the same thing but in harsher language AND seems to enjoy riling eveyrone up would call *me* insensitive. hehe.
Edit to add: and here I was, especially since I'm one of the more popular folks to be "jumped on," thinking that everyone simply ignored that post bc they were so enthralled with the backs on display. Turns out everyone was just being "the bigger person" (bad pun, I know).
Saying "I would be leery about dating someone who used to be very overweight" is NOT comparable to "Women over 27 are not desirable".
HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS?
Janie, you did nothing wrong.
Yeah, but statements like "Women over 27 are not desirable" are so absurd that why even address them? Why even get offended about it? So what if someone on here feels that way? I, for one, know it isn't true at all because I'm well over 27 and get hit on all the time by men -- many of them younger than me. So when I read statements like that, I nod, smile, and go on my merry way, knowing that when said poster gets a little older his opinion will likely change.
Also, it isn't that different of a statement. If the women who are over 27 get offended by a poster saying they aren't desirable, then why wouldn't someone who was once very overweight get offended because another poster might be leery of dating them? Maybe one statement is a little more blunt than another, but both still target a group of people posting on this board. (And Janie -- I agree with you on this 100%, and I love your posts, so don't think I'm picking on you here! )
1) Because nothing has ever improved by everyone closing their eyes and pretending like everything is okay. Education is the only cure for ignorance and while I don't think I'm running around changing everyone's mind, responding is sure a great way to plant a seed for future development.
2) It really is that different. One is stating a personal preference and another is stating and untrue, offensive, sweeping generalization. I honestly don't know why I have to explain that constantly. He did not say "I don't like to pursue women over 27" he said "Women over 27 are not desirable".0 -
I'm offended about the fact that you don't know.ETA: I have no idea what he said or who he offended, but those are the facts as stated in his departure note.0 -
I'm offended about the fact that you don't know.ETA: I have no idea what he said or who he offended, but those are the facts as stated in his departure note.
I'm offended by badgers in t-shirts!!! :laugh:0 -
Stop crying.0
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Stop crying.
I am offended.0 -
I confess I have glued a picture of the face of each woman of the single peeps group on a different barbie doll. All here, with me.
The naughty peeps are being punished and put in the black box, while I reward the nice ones, and some of you even get the right to sleep near me, on my pillow.
I'm glad I got this out of my chest. I feel much better now. I really do.0 -
:drinker:I confess I have glued a picture of the face of each woman of the single peeps group on a different barbie doll. All here, with me.
The naughty peeps are being punished and put in the black box, while I reward the nice ones, and some of you even get the right to sleep near me, on my pillow.
I'm glad I got this out of my chest. I feel much better now. I really do.
lol this is awesome just so you know ......0 -
I confess I have glued a picture of the face of each woman of the single peeps group on a different barbie doll. All here, with me.
The naughty peeps are being punished and put in the black box, while I reward the nice ones, and some of you even get the right to sleep near me, on my pillow.
I'm glad I got this out of my chest. I feel much better now. I really do.
LMAO!! :drinker:0 -
I confess I have glued a picture of the face of each woman of the single peeps group on a different barbie doll. All here, with me.
The naughty peeps are being punished and put in the black box, while I reward the nice ones, and some of you even get the right to sleep near me, on my pillow.
I'm glad I got this out of my chest. I feel much better now. I really do.
I'm definitely in the black box.0
