TMI Tuesday-single peeps version
Replies
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MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
For me, it has nothing to do with your sex drive. It has everything to do with the level of commitment involved.
Also in my experience, the sex has always been MUCH better with ditzy women! I stand firm on that.
I thought your sex drive went out the window with a commitment!? Or what do you mean?
I think he means he likes sex with women who are more complacent, less argumentative, wont question him, more likely to let him lead...so a Barbie doll. Haha Mike just had to call it like I see it...I mean no offense but that's what I take from it.
He has openly admitted as such. Specifically, he stated he wants a woman who needs and is dependent on him and is incomplete without him.
Can I ask that ladies (who outnumber guys here by 3 or 4 to 1) take a moment to reflect on what I am about to post without a knee jerk pissed off response?
How many (90+% by my observation) ladies have said that they desire/expect a guy to make them feel protected,for whatever that means in 2012,and passively feminine?
When I have in the past raised this issue and asked what the? it has been argued.
What is wanted...a certain thing but just don`t point it out?
There's a difference between feeling protected/safe/comfortable/feminine... and NEEDING someone. One is a "oh, this is nice" and the other is a matter of personal development, and the ability to cope/function in everyday life.
I've said before, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own drawers, or doing my own car maintenance. But if I had a guy that wanted to do it for me then that's sexy and I'll bring the sammiches. The important part of that - is that I CAN take care of it myself, or pay for it to get done by myself. I don't have a powerful desire to have someone else do it for me.
Ok scratch my post. This is it.0 -
Studies show that men's testosterone levels fall when in a long-term relationship with one woman. They fall even faster when there are kids. Having affairs can kick-start testosterone production.
And this hormone is not just about sex, it's about an overall man's health. Higher testosterone levels translate into lower instances of cancer (in men), lower Alzheimer's, etc., etc. It's kind of a big deal.
THIS!
At least I know I'm not crazy or the only one who thinks like this. It's very, very true!0 -
Even just thinking about sex with another woman (i.e. a different woman), especially when there is a chance it may happen, will kick start testosterone production in men. I'm not trying to provide a handy excuse for men to cheat. But I do think that for women, it's important to continually provide a bit of variety in a relationship. To mix it up. Once men feel they are constantly sleeping with the same woman, their body reacts in a very negative way. It's hormonal, it's not voluntary.
Increased testosterone in men means more energy, a more positive attitude, and of course long-term improved health. Thanks to real changes that a man's body undergoes when having, or anticipating having, sex with a different partner.
I can recall an Archie Bunker episode (google it, young peeps), where Meathead sees his blonde wife in a black wig, and quickly cancels their movie date. He wants to stay home and have sex. She agrees. Later she gets out of the shower and into bed, but without the wig. He wants her to put it on. She refuses, claiming he wants to "cheat" on her...
Not condoning affairs. But just saying men's bodies do not react well to having one and only one partner. Lower sex drive is quite common, thanks to falling testosterone. So keep mixing it up! This advice is for the men, as well. If they don't keep it interesting, they will lose interest, the woman gets frustrated, and the viscous circle begins.
--P0 -
Ok... I'm not usually precious about these things... because honestly... I actually DON'T care... but I've posted 3 times today and got ignored every time. It's not the first time either. This is on a board that becries a lack of men.
If you women weren't so ****ing hell bent on fighting with Mike all the time you might actually realize that other men do drop in from time to time.
Bye.
My reason is because I have nothing to add to your comments. You aren't asking questions, or stating anything that doesn't stand on it's own. I don't make a habit of quoting a comment just to say "agree".
Try starting a conversation, and not just making finishing statements. You aren't being ignored. Try being involved in a conversation too, respond to other people specifically in a manner that requires response.0 -
Men can too... we've just gotta pay for it... but I don't pay for sex. I'd rather *kitten* than PAY someone to have sex with me. I don't judge guys who use prostitutes... it might be their thing... it's just not mine. I need to have SOME emotional connection with the person I'm making love to.
I never got the whole hooker thing myself. For me, it takes men down a notch when they have to pay for physical gratification from a woman. I feel the same way about strip clubs. Women should be doing that stuff for free!
For me, it's much more degrading to men than women.0 -
Even just thinking about sex with another woman (i.e. a different woman), especially when there is a chance it may happen, will kick start testosterone production in men. I'm not trying to provide a handy excuse for men to cheat. But I do think that for women, it's important to continually provide a bit of variety in a relationship. To mix it up. Once men feel they are constantly sleeping with the same woman, their body reacts in a very negative way. It's hormonal, it's not voluntary.
Increased testosterone in men means more energy, a more positive attitude, and of course long-term improved health. Thanks to real changes that a man's body undergoes when having, or anticipating having, sex with a different partner.
I can recall an Archie Bunker episode (google it, young peeps), where Meathead sees his blonde wife in a black wig, and quickly cancels their movie date. He wants to stay home and have sex. She agrees. Later she gets out of the shower and into bed, but without the wig. He wants her to put it on. She refuses, claiming he wants to "cheat" on her...
Not condoning affairs. But just saying men's bodies do not react well to having one and only one partner. Lower sex drive is quite common, thanks to falling testosterone. So keep mixing it up! This advice is for the men, as well. If they don't keep it interesting, they will lose interest, the woman gets frustrated, and the viscous circle begins.
--P
I was actually thinking that its very easy to spice it up a little just by changing your hair color or wearing it different. Get a wig, put on a costume and role play. Thats why its so popular it lets men (and women) pretend thy are with someone else. Plus its totally hot :bigsmile:0 -
Even just thinking about sex with another woman (i.e. a different woman), especially when there is a chance it may happen, will kick start testosterone production in men. I'm not trying to provide a handy excuse for men to cheat. But I do think that for women, it's important to continually provide a bit of variety in a relationship. To mix it up. Once men feel they are constantly sleeping with the same woman, their body reacts in a very negative way. It's hormonal, it's not voluntary.
Increased testosterone in men means more energy, a more positive attitude, and of course long-term improved health. Thanks to real changes that a man's body undergoes when having, or anticipating having, sex with a different partner.
I can recall an Archie Bunker episode (google it, young peeps), where Meathead sees his blonde wife in a black wig, and quickly cancels their movie date. He wants to stay home and have sex. She agrees. Later she gets out of the shower and into bed, but without the wig. He wants her to put it on. She refuses, claiming he wants to "cheat" on her...
Not condoning affairs. But just saying men's bodies do not react well to having one and only one partner. Lower sex drive is quite common, thanks to falling testosterone. So keep mixing it up! This advice is for the men, as well. If they don't keep it interesting, they will lose interest, the woman gets frustrated, and the viscous circle begins.
--P
So what you are saying is that if I ever get married, my registry should include various wigs?
And possibly I should spike future possible husbands morning coffee with viagra...0 -
Even just thinking about sex with another woman (i.e. a different woman), especially when there is a chance it may happen, will kick start testosterone production in men. I'm not trying to provide a handy excuse for men to cheat. But I do think that for women, it's important to continually provide a bit of variety in a relationship. To mix it up. Once men feel they are constantly sleeping with the same woman, their body reacts in a very negative way. It's hormonal, it's not voluntary.
Increased testosterone in men means more energy, a more positive attitude, and of course long-term improved health. Thanks to real changes that a man's body undergoes when having, or anticipating having, sex with a different partner.
I can recall an Archie Bunker episode (google it, young peeps), where Meathead sees his blonde wife in a black wig, and quickly cancels their movie date. He wants to stay home and have sex. She agrees. Later she gets out of the shower and into bed, but without the wig. He wants her to put it on. She refuses, claiming he wants to "cheat" on her...
Not condoning affairs. But just saying men's bodies do not react well to having one and only one partner. Lower sex drive is quite common, thanks to falling testosterone. So keep mixing it up! This advice is for the men, as well. If they don't keep it interesting, they will lose interest, the woman gets frustrated, and the viscous circle begins.
--P
I was actually thinking that its very easy to spice it up a little just by changing your hair color or wearing it different. Get a wig, put on a costume and role play. Thats why its so popular it lets men (and women) pretend thy are with someone else. Plus its totally hot :bigsmile:
I like to spice things up by going to s strip club or going to a toy store. I dated a guy who thought that was weird but I think it is important to keep some spice in the relationship!0 -
Studies show that men's testosterone levels fall when in a long-term relationship with one woman. They fall even faster when there are kids. Having affairs can kick-start testosterone production.
Testosterone falls in men as they age. From about the age of 18 (their sexual high) it dwindles. That's why a man's sex drive lowers.
Whereas in women, it increases with age!
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!They also show that women are more influenced by societal norms, and hence less willing to admit (even to themselves) their feelings about sex.
Agree with this. Woman were brainwashed for years (by men) into believing that want sex was wrong/improper. And if you did want it randomly, then you were a slut!
Men, OTOH, are seen as studs the more women they sleep with.
BOTH genders are influenced by society, at opposite ends of the scale. Hopefully, modern thinking will address this imbalance eventually.0 -
Even just thinking about sex with another woman (i.e. a different woman), especially when there is a chance it may happen, will kick start testosterone production in men. I'm not trying to provide a handy excuse for men to cheat. But I do think that for women, it's important to continually provide a bit of variety in a relationship. To mix it up. Once men feel they are constantly sleeping with the same woman, their body reacts in a very negative way. It's hormonal, it's not voluntary.
Increased testosterone in men means more energy, a more positive attitude, and of course long-term improved health. Thanks to real changes that a man's body undergoes when having, or anticipating having, sex with a different partner.
I can recall an Archie Bunker episode (google it, young peeps), where Meathead sees his blonde wife in a black wig, and quickly cancels their movie date. He wants to stay home and have sex. She agrees. Later she gets out of the shower and into bed, but without the wig. He wants her to put it on. She refuses, claiming he wants to "cheat" on her...
Not condoning affairs. But just saying men's bodies do not react well to having one and only one partner. Lower sex drive is quite common, thanks to falling testosterone. So keep mixing it up! This advice is for the men, as well. If they don't keep it interesting, they will lose interest, the woman gets frustrated, and the viscous circle begins.
--P
This is utter BS!!!
Men would much prefer to lay on the couch than be inventive sexually. It's usually the woman that gets bored!!! :laugh:0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
For me, it has nothing to do with your sex drive. It has everything to do with the level of commitment involved.
Also in my experience, the sex has always been MUCH better with ditzy women! I stand firm on that.
I thought your sex drive went out the window with a commitment!? Or what do you mean?
I think he means he likes sex with women who are more complacent, less argumentative, wont question him, more likely to let him lead...so a Barbie doll. Haha Mike just had to call it like I see it...I mean no offense but that's what I take from it.
He has openly admitted as such. Specifically, he stated he wants a woman who needs and is dependent on him and is incomplete without him.
Can I ask that ladies (who outnumber guys here by 3 or 4 to 1) take a moment to reflect on what I am about to post without a knee jerk pissed off response?
How many (90+% by my observation) ladies have said that they desire/expect a guy to make them feel protected,for whatever that means in 2012,and passively feminine?
When I have in the past raised this issue and asked what the? it has been argued.
What is wanted...a certain thing but just don`t point it out?
There's a difference between feeling protected/safe/comfortable/feminine... and NEEDING someone. One is a "oh, this is nice" and the other is a matter of personal development, and the ability to cope/function in everyday life.
I've said before, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own drawers, or doing my own car maintenance. But if I had a guy that wanted to do it for me then that's sexy and I'll bring the sammiches. The important part of that - is that I CAN take care of it myself, or pay for it to get done by myself. I don't have a powerful desire to have someone else do it for me.
You kits are a distinct different then the norm for ladies here (sorry :flowerforyou: )
Most very often do seem to expect to want life to be in many conflicting ways.0 -
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!
I heavily disagree with this.
Personally, my sex drive is higher at this moment than it's been when I was in a year long relationship when I was 19.
It's 100% related to being with the same woman in a long term relationship. No question about that in my mind.0 -
I too always thought that men wanted sex all the time. That is very incorrect. ha. I guess, when I say my sex drive I don't mean having sex for like hours at a time. I mean .. like have sex daily or a couple different times at night ..lol. My exhusband was good for maybe once a month.
I could do it like every day or at least 5 days a week.
I honestly didn't know that a mans desire gets less and less the longer they are with a person. That is kind of disheartening. Why do you even look for a relationship then?0 -
Also in my experience, the sex has always been MUCH better with ditzy women! I stand firm on that.
Anna! Take a shot! Hahaha
I am pissin myself laughing here!!!!! With visions of you, Kate and me knocking a Sambuca back while Sam has a scoop of Ben & Jerry's!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I missed this yesterday but I want in on it too! :drinker:
I'm going to get sooooo drunk on Friday hahahahaaaa
You're in PJ!! :laugh: :drinker: I'm sure you wont have any prob getting drunk either. Just take a shot when you read the BS that Mike, DM and now P are coming out with!!! :laugh:0 -
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!
I heavily disagree with this.
Personally, my sex drive is higher at this moment than it's been when I was in a year long relationship when I was 19.
It's 100% related to being with the same woman in a long term relationship. No question about that in my mind.
You can't disagree with biology Mike. Go read about it!!! Jeez! :noway:
Someone pass the Sambuca!!! lol :drinker:0 -
You kits are a distinct different then the norm for ladies here (sorry :flowerforyou: )
Most very often do seem to expect to want life to be in many conflicting ways.
Haha, no need to apologize unless you were trying to insult me, but I didn't see it as such. I am definitely my fathers daughter (y'all can thank him for me being a pain in the *kitten*)0 -
I was actually thinking that its very easy to spice it up a little just by changing your hair color or wearing it different. Get a wig, put on a costume and role play. Thats why its so popular it lets men (and women) pretend thy are with someone else. Plus its totally hot :bigsmile:
Exactly right. Not just the lady's responsibility, we men need to realize this, too (if we're serious about staying faithful, and I believe most men are), and also try to keep it interesting.
Wigs, role playing, absolutely. I think spontaneous trips (last minute surprise weekend getaways) help, since you are in a different environment, in a different bed, etc. Vacations are great for that, I know my sex drive increases dramatically when the weather is warm and I'm in an unknown hotel (with no kids!) near the ocean. But you can't be on vacation year round, so you gotta get creative. Sexy lingerie, not wearing the same thing every time. Etc., etc.
Main point is that a lower sex drive over time is a real phenomenon which can oftentimes be linked to lower testosterone production. It's hormonal. The man can't always help it. So better to understand it and try ways to get those good hormones flowing again.
Not saying this is always the case. Some men have other, more serious issues. Not having sex with your wife for 4 1/2 years means something else is happening there, obviously. But for the man who seems to want sex only once a month, well.... Time for a discussion, and then a trip to Victoria's Secret... :-)
--P0 -
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!
I heavily disagree with this.
Personally, my sex drive is higher at this moment than it's been when I was in a year long relationship when I was 19.
It's 100% related to being with the same woman in a long term relationship. No question about that in my mind.
You can't disagree with biology Mike. Go read about it!!! Jeez! :noway:
Someone pass the Sambuca!!! lol :drinker:
Now now, Anna. Clearly one persons experiences disprove science. There couldn't possibly be any variables or outside influences!0 -
I was actually thinking that its very easy to spice it up a little just by changing your hair color or wearing it different. Get a wig, put on a costume and role play. Thats why its so popular it lets men (and women) pretend thy are with someone else. Plus its totally hot :bigsmile:
Exactly right. Not just the lady's responsibility, we men need to realize this, too (if we're serious about staying faithful, and I believe most men are), and also try to keep it interesting.
Wigs, role playing, absolutely. I think spontaneous trips (last minute surprise weekend getaways) help, since you are in a different environment, in a different bed, etc. Vacations are great for that, I know my sex drive increases dramatically when the weather is warm and I'm in an unknown hotel (with no kids!) near the ocean. But you can't be on vacation year round, so you gotta get creative. Sexy lingerie, not wearing the same thing every time. Etc., etc.
Main point is that a lower sex drive over time is a real phenomenon which can oftentimes be linked to lower testosterone production. It's hormonal. The man can't always help it. So better to understand it and try ways to get those good hormones flowing again.
Not saying this is always the case. Some men have other, more serious issues. Not having sex with your wife for 4 1/2 years means something else is happening there, obviously. But for the man who seems to want sex only once a month, well.... Time for a discussion, and then a trip to Victoria's Secret... :-)
--P
This actually makes sense. Variety is what keeps things fresh. It doesn't have to be completely new every time, but as long as you have a nicely ranged bag of tricks and you rotate them out as necessary, I don't think anyone would complain about frequency of sex (barring outside influences such as extreme stress).0 -
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!
I heavily disagree with this.
Personally, my sex drive is higher at this moment than it's been when I was in a year long relationship when I was 19.
It's 100% related to being with the same woman in a long term relationship. No question about that in my mind.
You can't disagree with biology Mike. Go read about it!!! Jeez! :noway:
Someone pass the Sambuca!!! lol :drinker:
A quick Google search comes up with thousands of pages that indicate --P and I are right. Apparently, our biologies don't agree on this one. :noway:
Here is a quick link:
http://harvardmagazine.com/2003/03/testosterone-dips-after.html
Maybe I should take drink everytime your ego makes you look a bit silly?0 -
Who on earth can prove that it's because of a long term relationship with one woman??? I would refute that claim as coming from the same place that you read that men wanting to shag around is 'natural'!!
I heavily disagree with this.
Personally, my sex drive is higher at this moment than it's been when I was in a year long relationship when I was 19.
It's 100% related to being with the same woman in a long term relationship. No question about that in my mind.
You can't disagree with biology Mike. Go read about it!!! Jeez! :noway:
Someone pass the Sambuca!!! lol :drinker:
A quick Google search comes up with thousands of pages that indicate --P and I are right. Apparently, our biologies don't agree on this one. :noway:
Here is a quick link:
http://harvardmagazine.com/2003/03/testosterone-dips-after.html
Maybe I should take drink everytime your ego makes you look a bit silly?
MY ego???? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: You are hilarious Mike!!!!0 -
Just a thought...
I have no idea how a womens anatomy works but a guys sex drive is tied to his ability to erect his penis.
Stimulation there is a part of his sexual being and age does have an impact on that,hence the advent of the blue pill and other things.
I don`t need yet btw...just sayin.
Bottom line is to never presume males and females are alike...to do so is stupid.0 -
Actually that article makes more sense than i think what you were trying to say Mike. I think you just didn't say it in the positive way in which it was meant. They lose the high sex drive in order for a more nurturing side of them to come out to take care of the family. It's not because they are bored.0
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Actually that article makes more sense than i think what you were trying to say Mike. I think you just didn't say it in the positive way in which it was meant. They lose the high sex drive in order for a more nurturing side of them to come out to take care of the family. It's not because they are bored.
I equated serious committed relationship to a lower sex drive. I'm sure there are MANY factors that contribute to why this correlation is accurate. That might be one.0 -
Men can too... we've just gotta pay for it... but I don't pay for sex. I'd rather *kitten* than PAY someone to have sex with me. I don't judge guys who use prostitutes... it might be their thing... it's just not mine. I need to have SOME emotional connection with the person I'm making love to.
I never got the whole hooker thing myself. For me, it takes men down a notch when they have to pay for physical gratification from a woman. I feel the same way about strip clubs. Women should be doing that stuff for free!
For me, it's much more degrading to men than women.
Do you believe strippers are degrading? Just curious as I had an ex who thought so.0 -
All this talk about sex, vibrators, costumes and role playing is gonna make me wear out the batteries tonight my goodness lol0
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Testosterone falls in men as they age. From about the age of 18 (their sexual high) it dwindles. That's why a man's sex drive lowers.
Men - older men - who have affairs or sleep around or who just have multiple partners have shown much higher levels of testosterone than men their same age who do not have frequent sex, or who are in a committed relationship.
Testosterone is not just about age!
And in fact, research shows that actually having sex increases testosterone production in older and younger men at the same rate. So again, more sex = more testosterone = healthier men.
--P0 -
This is utter BS!!!
Men would much prefer to lay on the couch than be inventive sexually. It's usually the woman that gets bored!!! :laugh:
Trust me...that is not always so.0 -
Exactly right. Not just the lady's responsibility, we men need to realize this, too (if we're serious about staying faithful, and I believe most men are), and also try to keep it interesting.
Wigs, role playing, absolutely. I think spontaneous trips (last minute surprise weekend getaways) help, since you are in a different environment, in a different bed, etc. Vacations are great for that, I know my sex drive increases dramatically when the weather is warm and I'm in an unknown hotel (with no kids!) near the ocean. But you can't be on vacation year round, so you gotta get creative. Sexy lingerie, not wearing the same thing every time. Etc., etc.
Main point is that a lower sex drive over time is a real phenomenon which can oftentimes be linked to lower testosterone production. It's hormonal. The man can't always help it. So better to understand it and try ways to get those good hormones flowing again.
Not saying this is always the case. Some men have other, more serious issues. Not having sex with your wife for 4 1/2 years means something else is happening there, obviously. But for the man who seems to want sex only once a month, well.... Time for a discussion, and then a trip to Victoria's Secret... :-)
--P
While I don't disagree at all with the above...it does kind of piss me off that the emphasis here is on what WOMEN should be doing to spice things up. Hell... I'm always good to go.. my testosterone levels are clearly not the question. So.. shouldn't men be making a bigger effort to solve this issue too? Why are we required to get the wigs and lingerie? And provide all of the excitement, stimulus and initiative?
As to the 4.5 years.. we were never married... he has diabetes and a number of other health issues which could affect things, but is also incredibly embarassed, defensive and avoided the issue. I brought it up, he would get angry and try and deflect it somewhere else. I would suggest things, he would ignore it. He never let it be "our" issue.. or to allow me (or doctors/counselors) to help in any way. Besides that, he was never overly romantic or sexual, not really. I thought he was a very good person that loved me unconditionally, and that perhaps it was a phase. Turned out it was not a phase and that having someone who felt like a roommate just wasn't enough. I've always been one of those people who likes to please, and is willing to sacrifice parts of themselves to make things work. Turns out I sacrificed far too much.. and not feeling wanted or needed kind of infected every other aspect of the relationship too.0 -
Testosterone falls in men as they age. From about the age of 18 (their sexual high) it dwindles. That's why a man's sex drive lowers.
Men - older men - who have affairs or sleep around or who just have multiple partners have shown much higher levels of testosterone than men their same age who do not have frequent sex, or who are in a committed relationship.
Testosterone is not just about age!
And in fact, research shows that actually having sex increases testosterone production in older and younger men at the same rate. So again, more sex = more testosterone = healthier men.
--P
So everybody should just get their freak on then lol0
