TMI Tuesday-single peeps version
Replies
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DM- Only women check out?
SB - You have clearly come to terms with what you've done, which is all that really matters. But since you're asking for people to absolve you, I personally cannot do that. I find it to be a cowardly way to end something you knew wasn't working and could have easily pulled the plug on before moving on.
The thread is entitled TMI, in which the I is meant to stand for "information" and not "insults".
If sharing of my experience came across as looking for absolution from you personally.. this was indeed my error.
You and I very rarely seem to agree on much anyway, so I don't really understand why you felt the need to chastise me.
Whether or not you find it a cowardly way or not to end something, and whether or not you believe I could have easily pulled the plug on things only reveals again how different our experiences must have been and how very little you know me and/or the situation.
BTW SB I'm glad you don't regret it. I honestly feel we shouldn't regret much in life. No one knows the whole story so no one but you can know what went on . I have a friends who was married to a man in a coma. After 4 yrs she got a FWB. When he died they married. She never wanted to divorce him because she was wrried that it would affect her legal medical rights and she wanted to honor his wishes. I cant blame her for finding comfort.0 -
Mike, just because something is difficult doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do, and it certainly doesn't mean you don't do it.
SB, I hope you know I wasn't judging you personally. I think you are a wonderful person and respect you quite a lot (even though we also don't always agree). The thoughts I posted were on cheating in general, though I did try and specify that I don't think cheaters are horrible people, just that it's not a recommended course of action in my personal opinion.
Geez I feel like I'm digging myself into a hole here.
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DM- Only women check out?
SB - You have clearly come to terms with what you've done, which is all that really matters. But since you're asking for people to absolve you, I personally cannot do that. I find it to be a cowardly way to end something you knew wasn't working and could have easily pulled the plug on before moving on.
The thread is entitled TMI, in which the I is meant to stand for "information" and not "insults".
If sharing of my experience came across as looking for absolution from you personally.. this was indeed my error.
You and I very rarely seem to agree on much anyway, so I don't really understand why you felt the need to chastise me.
Whether or not you find it a cowardly way or not to end something, and whether or not you believe I could have easily pulled the plug on things only reveals again how different our experiences must have been and how very little you know me and/or the situation.
Wow, my response was not intended to be a personal insult. You asked two very specific questions
and I gave a generalized answer... I don't condone cheating. I think Kits and a few other people gave the same basic answer, so I'm actually not certain why you are the one picking me apart for disagreeing on (various?) topics now?Does it help in any way that I had emotionally checked out of the relationship ages ago?
Or that I hadn't had sex in nearly 5 years?0 -
DM- Only women check out?
SB - You have clearly come to terms with what you've done, which is all that really matters. But since you're asking for people to absolve you, I personally cannot do that. I find it to be a cowardly way to end something you knew wasn't working and could have easily pulled the plug on before moving on.
The thread is entitled TMI, in which the I is meant to stand for "information" and not "insults".
If sharing of my experience came across as looking for absolution from you personally.. this was indeed my error.
You and I very rarely seem to agree on much anyway, so I don't really understand why you felt the need to chastise me.
Whether or not you find it a cowardly way or not to end something, and whether or not you believe I could have easily pulled the plug on things only reveals again how different our experiences must have been and how very little you know me and/or the situation.
BTW SB I'm glad you don't regret it. I honestly feel we shouldn't regret much in life. No one knows the whole story so no one but you can know what went on . I have a friends who was married to a man in a coma. After 4 yrs she got a FWB. When he died they married. She never wanted to divorce him because she was wrried that it would affect her legal medical rights and she wanted to honor his wishes. I cant blame her for finding comfort.
I agree with the no regrets thing, definitely.
Though the guy in a coma thing is... well I don't think I would consider that cheating.0 -
DANGIT I can't use that emoticon *flail*0
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MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
For me, it has nothing to do with your sex drive. It has everything to do with the level of commitment involved.
Also in my experience, the sex has always been MUCH better with ditzy women! I stand firm on that.
I thought your sex drive went out the window with a commitment!? Or what do you mean?
I think he means he likes sex with women who are more complacent, less argumentative, wont question him, more likely to let him lead...so a Barbie doll. Haha Mike just had to call it like I see it...I mean no offense but that's what I take from it.
He has openly admitted as such. Specifically, he stated he wants a woman who needs and is dependent on him and is incomplete without him.
Can I ask that ladies (who outnumber guys here by 3 or 4 to 1) take a moment to reflect on what I am about to post without a knee jerk pissed off response?
How many (90+% by my observation) ladies have said that they desire/expect a guy to make them feel protected,for whatever that means in 2012,and passively feminine?
When I have in the past raised this issue and asked what the? it has been argued.
What is wanted...a certain thing but just don`t point it out?
There's a difference between feeling protected/safe/comfortable/feminine... and NEEDING someone. One is a "oh, this is nice" and the other is a matter of personal development, and the ability to cope/function in everyday life.
I've said before, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own drawers, or doing my own car maintenance. But if I had a guy that wanted to do it for me then that's sexy and I'll bring the sammiches. The important part of that - is that I CAN take care of it myself, or pay for it to get done by myself. I don't have a powerful desire to have someone else do it for me.
You kits are a distinct different then the norm for ladies here (sorry :flowerforyou: )
Most very often do seem to expect to want life to be in many conflicting ways.
Carl, I find this fascinating because I think Kits (our Japanese fox-y lady
) hit the nail on the head with this response. I feel the exact same way she does. Why do you think what she said is not accurate?
Because (yes a preposition that is not supposed to start a sentence) most women here have stated at one point unequivocally that they can not and/or will not have sex unless there is some sort of emotional bond or commitment.
End of discussion,period.
Then in other threads they talk of FWBs or sex as a casual thing.
Kits has not done that and maybe some others too but for the most part it is an accurate statement.
Not intended as an argument but an observation and not sure why anyone would think I was disagreeing.
I didn't think this was an argument, I was just curious. Actually I think most women say that WANT the connection, but also understand that we have needs at the same time. It's fantasy vs. reality.0 -
DM- Only women check out?
I think this is true, at least in my experience. It seems in my past that if I'm done I just get it over with by poofing, breaking up or whatever. Now the girls that were done with me all seemed to check out find someone new or just move on and then inform me. This may not be true for all but this is what I've experienced.0 -
I didn't think this was an argument, I was just curious. Actually I think most women say that WANT the connection, but also understand that we have needs at the same time. It's fantasy vs. reality.
Fair enough,I just do think guys are more open and honest about sexual desires is all and when discussions happen that issue can create a problem of sorts.0 -
Since we talked about it last week here is the Tuesday thread.
My TMI is I havent had sex in almost 3 weeks :sad:
I'm gonna climb a wall
3 weeks? No wonder you broke up with Mr. NG0 -
Wow, miss a day on SP forum and the you know what hits the fan.MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
In regards to this question and several of the others related to females having higher sex drives...
I am a male who was a 'late bloomer' lets say, so I missed some prime years of getting out there and having fun. In the past couple of years, I have found that I have what I would consider a high sex drive. Now that might not be high for others, but it is what I consider it. Meaning I may not be able to go for hours at a time, but nothing wrong with multiple sessions back to back. Or literally morning, noon and night.
I have been with women that had lower sex drives than mine...once a day was too much. This just didn't work out well as I wanted it at least once a day, and had to take care of business myself when I didn't get it.
I have been in one relationship where the woman said she had a high sex drive...so once a day was common and she teased a lot about doing it at random times...however never followed through on it. Always teased about waking me up, tho never did. And complained when I did, or hopped in the shower with her.
I have also been with a woman where twice a day was the norm. Even the occasional long lunch for a quickie. I loved this. I was on cloud nine. However, got the rugged pulled out from under me when she decided she wanted to mend things with her abusive ex-husband :noway: (still trying to figure that one out).
Either way, I have found after the last woman who wanted sex multiple times in a row or in a day, I want that. I enjoyed it thoroughly and felt very satisfied and happy. Of course, since that break up it has been like 3 months and I am climbing the walls trying to find someone new that wants sex that often. There, spilled it all for TMI about Sex Tuesday0 -
Well it is certainly comforting to participate in a forum where everyone's (individual) moral is unshakable, unaffected by human's pitiful considerations and silly emotions, and whose strength, courage and righteousness always allow them to always follow the best course of action, unequivocally and regardless of the situation they are put in.
/sarcasm
Today, we're going to learn a new colour: "grey".
Of an achromatic colour of any lightness intermediate between the extremes of white and black.0 -
i went 2.5 years!!!
even now, as much as i LOVE sex, i won't have unless i'm actually with the person. so, that adds up to months upon months upon months of just me myself and i :-)Since we talked about it last week here is the Tuesday thread.
My TMI is I havent had sex in almost 3 weeks :sad: I'm gonna climb a wall
3 weeks?!? 3 weeks is nothing for most men out there. 3 months is a long time, but most guys I've known have had longer dry spells than that.
This is one reason why men have very little sympathy for women when it comes to sex and relationship issues.
What do the other men on here think?0 -
I didn't think this was an argument, I was just curious. Actually I think most women say that WANT the connection, but also understand that we have needs at the same time. It's fantasy vs. reality.
Fair enough,I just do think guys are more open and honest about sexual desires is all and when discussions happen that issue can create a problem of sorts.
Patrick made a valid point about this earlier. Women are surpressed because of societal norms. If we say we want sex, we are seen as sluts. Men are seen as studs. It's a wholly different mind set. I'd say that's the main reason behind it.0 -
This is utter BS!!!
Men would much prefer to lay on the couch than be inventive sexually. It's usually the woman that gets bored!!! :laugh:
I don't really agree with this, personally. I am very open to exploring new things and hope my partner is too. I have ended a relationship b/c I was bored of the normal missionary and she wouldn't have any of it. It was the first women I had ever been with that was so...conservative, and it was extremely boring and unsatisfying for me. I am all for some fantasy and new, exciting things.0 -
my TMI is that you SHOULD and then send me the video! :-)TMI : All this sex talk is making me think I should buy a fleshlight and give my hand a rest...0
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the last guy i had sex with, basically told me i was wearing him out. that he was having a hard time keeping up and right before things went south, actually asked if we could "just spend time together" at some point. LOL!!!!
if i go for long periods without i'm fine, but once i have it, it's all i want. which is the main reason i DON"T have it, by choice.A lot of my feelings on the topic are probably due to the fact that I'm a very physical and visual person. A lot of men are like this.. it's how we are biologically hardwired.
This is why men put things like sex and beauty on such an sky high pedestal.
Sex (and the pursuit of it) is extremely important to us. I'm sure it's important to woman as well, but just in a different for men. It's tough to explain.0 -
This is utter BS!!!
Men would much prefer to lay on the couch than be inventive sexually. It's usually the woman that gets bored!!! :laugh:
I don't really agree with this, personally. I am very open to exploring new things and hope my partner is too. I have ended a relationship b/c I was bored of the normal missionary and she wouldn't have any of it. It was the first women I had ever been with that was so...conservative, and it was extremely boring and unsatisfying for me. I am all for some fantasy and new, exciting things.
Sorry Grum, I didnt mean this literally for all men. Just that the general acceptable implication is that men dont get enough, when it's been mine and a lot of women's experience, that it's the man that gets lazy.
But I'm sure there are just as many women that can't be bothered or are not adventurous either!0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
Same here. However, the toys and shaving stuff, etc etc. it doesn't bother me. I find it interesting.0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
Interesting!! I dont think loose talk on here would be representative of how we are in real life tho!! Although I should only speak for myself! It's not something I would reveal to a prospective lover! :noway:
Unless you are planning on sleeping with someone on here........no harm done?...... :bigsmile:0 -
most independent women won't make you duck and cover for that.
guys may want to be providers, blah blah blah, but i, for one, have NO interest in EVER being dependent on a guy.
i had a job when i married my ex, but stopped working once he had a job and we had a baby.
i was dependent on him, for food, clothing, shelter, support, love, etc. and it sucked. i came out of a 15 yr relationship with him, with 5 kids and nothing else. no money, no house, no food, no support, no love, no self esteem, NOTHING.
guys who want a woman dependent on them are often abusive. my ex was. he wanted me completely dependent on him. and he made sure it happened.I'm emotionally stable, financially sound, and extremely independent.. in ways a lot of men are not. Most of my good friends are overly emotional, bounce from job to job and have their girlfriends pay their bills, and are still reliant on their parents to some extent. I am not in the least.
So yes, it is nice feeling when a woman is dependent on me. But most importantly, I have to feel that a woman *deserves* to be dependent on me.
(ducks and runs for cover :laugh: )0 -
there is also research that shows that men won't ask their wives to do certain things because of the woman being their "WIFE." he'll ask his mistress or a *kitten*, but not his wife......
There is still this Victorian notion of the pure wife, dutifully waiting for the hubby to come home for her weekly missionary position sex. When clearly the reality is she is doing her *kitten* doggy, with it securely suctioned to her headboard. Yeah, still can't get that friggin' image out of my mind....
--P0 -
Wow – I just stumbled onto this thread – quite interesting!0
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MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
I would probably never say half stuff I say on here to anyone I was dating. Well at least not right away...though I am getting more comfortable with doing so as I get older.
Having said that though, I really enjoy that women (and men) can discuss things openly and hopefully without fear or judgement here. It is fascinating and honestly should help open up and remove some of the stigmas women face about their own sexuality.0 -
safe is WAY different than dependent!!!
i need to feel safe, in all things. i won't ever be made to be dependent though!!! not ever again!!!!
How many (90+% by my observation) ladies have said that they desire/expect a guy to make them feel protected,for whatever that means in 2012,and passively feminine?
When I have in the past raised this issue and asked what the? it has been argued.
What is wanted...a certain thing but just don`t point it out?0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
I would probably never say half stuff I say on here to anyone I was dating. Well at least not right away...though I am getting more comfortable with doing so as I get older.
Having said that though, I really enjoy that women (and men) can discuss things openly and hopefully without fear or judgement here. It is fascinating and honestly should help open up and remove some of the stigmas women face about their own sexuality.
Don't get me wrong, I like that that stuff in the right setting. But when you get so many women going off about this stuff all at once it gives me this image of a vjay looking like a fang toothed c*ck gobbler or something lol.
I feel like more of the guys here feel the same as I notice hardly any of us comment on that stuff. However this is not my group and I respect you all if that is a topic you like to discuss.0 -
Don't get me wrong, I like that that stuff in the right setting. But when you get so many women going off about this stuff all at once it gives me this image of a vjay looking like a fang toothed c*ck gobbler or something lol.
I feel like more of the guys here feel the same as I notice hardly any of us comment on that stuff. However this is not my group and I respect you all if that is a topic you like to discuss.
Hmm..a man being intimidated by a healthy showing of female sexuality?
That's never happened before!
/sarcasm0 -
Don't get me wrong, I like that that stuff in the right setting. But when you get so many women going off about this stuff all at once it gives me this image of a vjay looking like a fang toothed c*ck gobbler or something lol.
I feel like more of the guys here feel the same as I notice hardly any of us comment on that stuff. However this is not my group and I respect you all if that is a topic you like to discuss.
Hmm..a man being intimidated by a healthy showing of female sexuality?
That's never happened before!
/sarcasm
Not intimidated... maybe overwhelmed!!
I think these last few threads have made me re-think how awesome a 3 some would be!!0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
I would probably never say half stuff I say on here to anyone I was dating. Well at least not right away...though I am getting more comfortable with doing so as I get older.
Having said that though, I really enjoy that women (and men) can discuss things openly and hopefully without fear or judgement here. It is fascinating and honestly should help open up and remove some of the stigmas women face about their own sexuality.
Don't get me wrong, I like that that stuff in the right setting. But when you get so many women going off about this stuff all at once it gives me this image of a vjay looking like a fang toothed c*ck gobbler or something lol.
I feel like more of the guys here feel the same as I notice hardly any of us comment on that stuff. However this is not my group and I respect you all if that is a topic you like to discuss.
It is an innate sense of decency and a time and place for everything.
Silly or not but in a setting that is not by design sexual guys will often feel (and may be accused of) that being openly sexual in any way amongst mixed company will result in him being regarded as creepy.0 -
MEN- with all this talk I'm getting more curious. Women who have a high sex drive; is that not a turn on to you guys? :huh:
I like a women with a high sex drive, however I find all this talk about toys how you're shaving your business and so forth a turn off. I like finding these things out about women on my own instead of reading or hearing about it in lose talk. Isn't the female saying "leave some to the imagination??"
Well it's not like we're posting pics of our vagoo's and comparing labias. THAT'S still a nice mystery for ya!Interesting!! I dont think loose talk on here would be representative of how we are in real life tho!! Although I should only speak for myself! It's not something I would reveal to a prospective lover! :noway:
I'm pretty candid about it. I don't bring it up myself, but if it starts up I'll share. Maybe it's because nudity and sexuality were considered perfectly normal in my household. Mom's German and we lived in Germany until I was 7. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of.
As a matter of fact, if I'm planning on dating someone I will intentionally bring up sex, kinks and fetishes just to see if we're compatible before we even go the next step.0
