Woman should make the first move?
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The more I read these things as time goes on the more I believe that anyone having expectations about what someone else should do the more likely they will be very unhappy about how it works out in the long run.
Carl, I've beat this horse dead in this group! needless to say I agree!0 -
Other wise..I'm not that likely to approach just cold turkey off the street, in the grocery store ect. I will smile and say hi..but I would leave it for him to continue.
This is all you have the do. If you smile and say hi, an interested guy would take the ball and run with it.0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.0 -
LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P
WIN!!!!0 -
I have a question and perhaps is a better solo topic but will do it here and is not aimed at anyones opinions,just something I sense at times and perhaps incorrectly so want to know.
Do most ladies have an assumption that guys are almost always successful to some degree when approaching a lady as the "pursuer" we often hear about?0 -
Most men would really like it if women made the first move. The problem is that the women who typically make first moves are not the object of men's desires. Men want women they find attractive to make the first move. Sadly for most men, this fantasy rarely plays out.
So any woman who makes the first move is automatically an Ogre simple because she made the move to begin with?
I knew at least one woman would try to twist this around and be personally insulted. No. You have your causation running backwards. A woman does not become an ogre because she asked a guy out. She is an ogre and therefore had to ask the guy out because it's the only possible way she is going to get a date.
There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.
What if you're "top tier +1??"0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.
What if you're "top tier +1??"
Not all of us can be you, hot stuff
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I have a question and perhaps is a better solo topic but will do it here and is not aimed at anyones opinions,just something I sense at times and perhaps incorrectly so want to know.
Do most ladies have an assumption that guys are almost always successful to some degree when approaching a lady as the "pursuer" we often hear about?
I've turned down enough guys to know that's not necessarily true.0 -
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....0 -
I have a question and perhaps is a better solo topic but will do it here and is not aimed at anyones opinions,just something I sense at times and perhaps incorrectly so want to know.
Do most ladies have an assumption that guys are almost always successful to some degree when approaching a lady as the "pursuer" we often hear about?
I don't know that I would go so far as "almost always" but I would think "sometimes successful" would be fair, as far as getting a number or date out of it, assuming the lady they approach is single.0 -
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
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Other wise..I'm not that likely to approach just cold turkey off the street, in the grocery store ect. I will smile and say hi..but I would leave it for him to continue.
This is all you have the do. If you smile and say hi, an interested guy would take the ball and run with it.
Lol and people wonder why I have a complex about dating..because NO MAN HAS EVER run with that ball lol..Do I have like reverse body dis-morphia...or are men in my city all chicken.0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P
You win this thread.0 -
Okay, you get a gold star too.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....0 -
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.0 -
Okay, you get a gold star too.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
Can it be a banana sticker? I'd do anything for a banana sticker.0 -
Actually, 2 girls talking to each other is probably more approachable than 1 girl talking to a lot of different people. It's actually easier for a group of guys to approach a group of girls than for one guy to approach one girl. The lone social butterfly is a wild card, I might assume she's more interested in hanging out with her friends as opposed to meeting guys.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.0 -
Anything?
Okay, you get a gold star too.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
Can it be a banana sticker? I'd do anything for a banana sticker.0 -
Anything?
Okay, you get a gold star too.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
Can it be a banana sticker? I'd do anything for a banana sticker.
Especially if you get the reference
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Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
Or maybe just luck of the draw or they were sending body signals somehow you didn`t pick up on...who knows.
There is no point comparing what happens to one with what happens with another.
For all you know they had put the word out they were looking to get laid and were playing the part so meh don`t worry over it.0 -
Actually, 2 girls talking to each other is probably more approachable than 1 girl talking to a lot of different people. It's actually easier for a group of guys to approach a group of girls than for one guy to approach one girl. The lone social butterfly is a wild card, I might assume she's more interested in hanging out with her friends as opposed to meeting guys.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
Every time I read something it is best to go out by yourself or groups of 3. Groups of 2 tend not to get approached because one girl might feel ignored and **** block and groups over 3 it is like entering a wild herd that could tear you apart at any moment.0 -
Actually, 2 girls talking to each other is probably more approachable than 1 girl talking to a lot of different people. It's actually easier for a group of guys to approach a group of girls than for one guy to approach one girl. The lone social butterfly is a wild card, I might assume she's more interested in hanging out with her friends as opposed to meeting guys.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
Every time I read something it is best to go out by yourself or groups of 3. Groups of 2 tend not to get approached because one girl might feel ignored and **** block and groups over 3 it is like entering a wild herd that could tear you apart at any moment.
Last Friday I went out by myself. I sat at the bar ,by myself (was haning withthe female bartenders) I got appraoched by 4 different men orrering me and drink and some conversation. Now none of these men where my type so I made sure I had a full drink right there and politely declined the drink ( I will not take a drink from a guy I'm not interested in flirting with) Also to make sure they looked good to theire friends I kept the banter light and friendly but not overly flirty so the gentlemen could retreat with some grace. Nothing makes a man look worse then crash and burning in front of his friends.
Also make friends with your bartenders, Think of them as an extended group of wingmen/women... Use the resoucres people0 -
Last Friday I went out by myself. I sat at the bar ,by myself (was haning withthe female bartenders) I got appraoched by 4 different men orrering me and drink and some conversation. Now none of these men where my type so I made sure I had a full drink right there and politely declined the drink ( I will not take a drink from a guy I'm not interested in flirting with) Also to make sure they looked good to theire friends I kept the banter light and friendly but not overly flirty so the gentlemen could retreat with some grace. Nothing makes a man look worse then crash and burning in front of his friends.
Also make friends with your bartenders, Think of them as an extended group of wingmen/women... Use the resoucres people
This has been my experience as well. Anytime I see a women going to a bar solo, she seems to get swamped by potential suitors. They get swamped so often, that is why some won't go to a bar alone.0 -
Actually, 2 girls talking to each other is probably more approachable than 1 girl talking to a lot of different people. It's actually easier for a group of guys to approach a group of girls than for one guy to approach one girl. The lone social butterfly is a wild card, I might assume she's more interested in hanging out with her friends as opposed to meeting guys.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
And this is why I'm 46 and still single...too many things to remember!! Remember that movie Hitch? I just need to hire Will Smith to be my dating coach!!0 -
Actually, 2 girls talking to each other is probably more approachable than 1 girl talking to a lot of different people. It's actually easier for a group of guys to approach a group of girls than for one guy to approach one girl. The lone social butterfly is a wild card, I might assume she's more interested in hanging out with her friends as opposed to meeting guys.
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
And this is why I'm 46 and still single...too many things to remember!! Remember that movie Hitch? I just need to hire Will Smith to be my dating coach!!
Then use the moves on him, HEYO! Speaking of top tier.0 -
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
Or maybe just luck of the draw or they were sending body signals somehow you didn`t pick up on...who knows.
There is no point comparing what happens to one with what happens with another.
For all you know they had put the word out they were looking to get laid and were playing the part so meh don`t worry over it.
I was crashing at one of their places and the other was interested in a guy that was there so doubt they put out the word they were looking to get laid.0 -
Thank you Jen, finally someone that gets it. You can't sit in the corner surrounded by 20 friends and expect to be approached. You have to be accessible.LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....
I do all that and I don't consider myself top tier but I am not bottom tier either and never get hit on or asked out. I am actually more approachable, more smily, more out going that friends I have that I would consider to be similar in looks and they get hit on and asked out all the time. Really two of them stood in a corner at the NYE party and talked to eachother while I mingled and talked to people and they had guys hitting on them. Maybe I am too much of a social butterfly.
I'm the same way...with my friends I usually don't think they're much more attractive then me, but they all get hit on and I'm just chilling like this is awkward. Not sure why. I don't put out "f-off" vibes as far as I know.0
