Woman should make the first move?
Replies
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i like how he completely ignored my question, LOL!!
i wouldn't approach mike online or in person, because i am simply not attracted to him at all.
rating/ scales is purely subjective. what *I* find attractive and interesting is not what someone else is going to find attractive and interesting. using famous people and models as your " control" group is inaccurate too, because they have a TEAM of people working for them, for the pure sake of LOOKING GOOD!
a girlfriend of mine, is "top tier" in my opinion. she is my height, size 4, C cup boobies ( she bought them after college), really pretty face ( looks years younger than her 40yrs), long straight brown hair. MOST guys want her. the guy she is totally gaga for, is not "all that". he's not that attractive, IN MY OPINION, and he's really heavy ( big ole' beer belly!) especially compared to her. but, that's who she wants!!! she and i have such different tastes when it comes to guys.
that's why i think it's so lame to say things like "top tier" and rating people. maybe guys all see women the exact same way and therefore they can rate across the board, but i doubt it's the same for women. i could be wrong though. maybe i'm the oddball in all of this ;-)
I think my "no response" says it all.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
Might not be exact.. but it'd be pretty damn close.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
Might not be exact.. but it'd be pretty damn close.
Based on nothing more then initial appearances the same would apply the other way too,most would find the same guys attractive,others generally less so and some not at all.
It doesn`t mean anything more then that.
I don`t get the worry about this from so many,it is a simple reality and at that point so what?
We are who we are and what we are so make the most of it and not get hung up on that there are millions of guys more attractive then me and so on.
Everyone always says "love yourself" well just do it then and make the most one can be and accept that sure,some aspects are going to be different,yes (the horror) even better or easier at times for someone else.
Okay great for them and without a doubt sometimes what is easier now proves to be a headache or heartache later,such is life.
We can`t have discussions if simple realities have to be kept quiet,whether a person lets those realties undo them is their own issue to ponder.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
Might not be exact.. but it'd be pretty damn close.
That surprises me.
The guys I find attractive are not the guys my friends find attractive. I have had crushes where my friends are like "him? Really?" And they have had crushes I find unattractive.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
Might not be exact.. but it'd be pretty damn close.
That surprises me.
The guys I find attractive are not the guys my friends find attractive. I have had crushes where my friends are like "him? Really?" And they have had crushes I find unattractive.
Yet most women (& men) lust over the same actor/actresses.. That what helps make those people famous. Most of the people you crush on (again not you specefically therorertical you) you now there personallity so why they might not be everyones cup of tea physically you have the 1 -up, the cheat code if you will of knowing them in a way alot of people might not.....0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
Might not be exact.. but it'd be pretty damn close.
That surprises me.
The guys I find attractive are not the guys my friends find attractive. I have had crushes where my friends are like "him? Really?" And they have had crushes I find unattractive.
I disagree with this. Everyone's tastes are different. As christine24t said, what one finds attractive, another may not and vice-versa.0 -
If you are a leg man, I'm a 9. If you like shorter, petite women, I'm a 2.
Doesn't work like that at all. Unless they are a complete fetishist, most guys would give you a similar rating.
This.
Most men are not fetishists.
So you are saying that all guys have the same taste in women? That if you put 100 guys in the same room with 100 women and asked them to rank the women they would all rank the women the same way?
You could get a reasonable consensus.0 -
this is why i have to believe that this is another area men and women are very different in.
i know for a FACT that 100 men in a room and my friend ( that i put above) and i would definitely NOT rate them the same. in fact most of my friends and i wouldn't agree on where they fall.0 -
I just read this thread and realize how incredibly sorry I feel for anyone who is so willing to limit and box themselves in and subscribe to rules, data, and negative definitions of who people are and what they deserve to expect in a relationship and out of life.
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
Personally I think I need to take a break. My own personal life is difficult and I struggle with some of this. I prefer support...not another bloody pivot table as to why I am past prime dating age and should settle for 17 cats now.0 -
I just read this thread and realize how incredibly sorry I feel for anyone who is so willing to limit and box themselves in and subscribe to rules, data, and negative definitions of who people are and what they deserve to expect in a relationship and out of life.
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
Personally I think I need to take a break. My own personal life is difficult and I struggle with some of this. I prefer support...not another bloody pivot table as to why I am past prime dating age and should settle for 17 cats now.
I am running out of steam as well.
Might as well be upfront and honest about it and while not pretending that I have never had a heated discussion at times here I also see some from both genders who come here simply for that purpose.
That has individually and privately been addressed.
Others actually seem to be looking to find some possible thing to be infuriated/offended by regardless of context or flow of discussion.
A few months ago Sherry was ready to pull the plug on singles peeps(if one has not read her locked and stickied thread above please do so) and suspect she still would think the same.
It was never her intent for this to become a battleground or a woe is me group.
I like discussions and counterpoints,there is a lot that can be learned if one is willing to read and be open minded.
As I said before,if what everyone wants is a fight club,I am going to win at all cost and show those women/men then so be it.
It will be without me here and I will leave it to Sherry if she chooses to let it continue.0 -
Danielle and Carl,
Ive been in single peeps for a year ish now, and Ive read thousands of threads and yes some are flat out arguments for no better sake then an argument.
This thread, however shouldnt make you lose faith in humanity Danielle or that people are boxing themselves in with rules etc. It is just peoples opinions based on their life experiences. Sad fact is a lot of what everyone is saying is true, as you yourself pointed out in this thread Carl.
I agree with you Carl in the sense this definitely isnt the group it was a year ago, and 6 months from now it will be a different group as well.0 -
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
It has been this way for several months now, which I agree is disappointing. Unfortunately a few bad apples spoil the bunch.0 -
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
It has been this way for several months now, which I agree is disappointing. Unfortunately a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
Oh the irony!
This is coming from the biggest pot stirrer of the bunch. You've been intentionally trying to start trouble this whole week, just look at your posts! You even posted an old thread that I started months ago.0 -
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
It has been this way for several months now, which I agree is disappointing. Unfortunately a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
Oh the irony!
This is coming from the biggest pot stirrer of the bunch. You've been intentionally trying to start trouble this whole week, just look at your posts! You even posted an old thread that I started months ago.
Yes, I showed an old thread that proved part of Lorro's argument. So i should feel bad that I had a good memory to connect the two?
And I've been part of this group for well over a year and have never had issues with anyone until certain people started the name calling (feminazi??) and women bashing. Maybe I am defensive at times, but that is not the same as being a bully!0 -
Case in point.
Shaking head0 -
I am concerned that instead of being a positive space for singles it is now actively a place that encourages judgment and shame - which is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
It has been this way for several months now, which I agree is disappointing. Unfortunately a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
Oh the irony!
This is coming from the biggest pot stirrer of the bunch. You've been intentionally trying to start trouble this whole week, just look at your posts! You even posted an old thread that I started months ago.
I have no beef with anyone in here, but I honestly read the original comment and kind of laughed! People keep saying this stuff but then you find them right in the heart of the argument! IMO these are the posts that keep this group well attended. If it were all twirly and talking about TOM... I'd have left months ago. The fact is, there are people in this group that have had a tough time being single or been treated poorly by the opposite sex in the past. Instead of running from that I find it healthy and productive to hash it out... It's on you if you get offended or some guy online ruins your day!! Take it with a grain of salt and add some good info or points of view.0 -
IMO these are the posts that keep this group well attended. If it were all twirly and talking about TOM... I'd have left months ago. The fact is, there are people in this group that have had a tough time being single or been treated poorly by the opposite sex in the past. Instead of running from that I find it healthy and productive to hash it out... It's on you if you get offended or some guy online ruins your day!! Take it with a grain of salt and add some good info or points of view.
I can't seem to recall a thread that was solely about the TOM. There are threads on other boards within MFP about TOM.
Overall, I like the idea of this quote.
Pa_Jorg-You have a good memory in general.0 -
IMO these are the posts that keep this group well attended. If it were all twirly and talking about TOM... I'd have left months ago. The fact is, there are people in this group that have had a tough time being single or been treated poorly by the opposite sex in the past. Instead of running from that I find it healthy and productive to hash it out... It's on you if you get offended or some guy online ruins your day!! Take it with a grain of salt and add some good info or points of view.
I can't seem to recall a thread that was solely about the TOM. There are threads on other boards within MFP about TOM.
Overall, I like the idea of this quote.
Pa_Jorg-You have a good memory in general.
That's why I'm not in the main forums.0 -
There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.
wow.0 -
Well... from what I read everyday here, it's not like any of the women here is doing asking (not many, at least).
wow.There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.
Furthermore, given the fact that most women who read this comment are now infuriated, I believe 4% of the women would still ask dbright out now.
And last, for those who are doing the asking AND who would also ask dbright out, they can imagine they are part of the 30%.
We're probably talking 1 person in this entire forum, if at all. See how easy it is to not get hurt by comments like this?0 -
There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.
wow.
What's so "wow" about it?
It's just his dbrightwell's observation which has been nearly identical to my experience. Even DM agrees with this.0 -
I used to approach men, but it's been so long since I've been social I'm now struggling just to make eye contact and not bolt like a scared rabbit. But when I want it bad enough I'll make the approach if I really must.
Sigh. I don't want to, though. I don't like the possibility of rejection any more than a man does.0 -
There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack
.
wow.
What's so "wow" about it?
It's just his dbrightwell's observation which has been nearly identical to my experience. Even DM agrees with this.
If men are being approached by mostly undesirable women... well...um... now you know exactly where those men fall on the desirability scale.
Oh, and to be on topic: I approach men all the time by saying hi, making chit-chat, and such (just to stay in practice) but I’ve NEVER had that translate into a date or a relationship. My dates have always come from men who approached ME.0 -
Well... from what I read everyday here, it's not like any of the women here is doing asking (not many, at least).
wow.There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.
Furthermore, given the fact that most women who read this comment are now infuriated, I believe 4% of the women would still ask dbright out now.
I wouldn't.
He's not in my (ahem) "tier".....
:smokin:0 -
If men are being approached by mostly undesirable women... well...um... now you know exactly where those men fall on the desirability scale.
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I knowwww! It's so funny when you hear the truth.
If men are being approached by mostly undesirable women... well...um... now you know exactly where those men fall on the desirability scale.
You get what you put out there.0 -
Who SHOULD do it? Nobody. Nobody is obligated by gender to do it. That being said, women are typically better at reading nonverbal cues such as body language and facial expressions, which puts them in a better position to do it because they are simply better able to read the signs that the other person may or may not be interested. Men more commonly are just awful at reading "signs."0
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I knowwww! It's so funny when you hear the truth.
If men are being approached by mostly undesirable women... well...um... now you know exactly where those men fall on the desirability scale.
You get what you put out there.
*sigh*
So, next time a group of guys you consider undesirable approaches you, is that your male equivalent? I hear girls complain about guys they aren't attracted to e-mailing them online, is that their male equivalent also?
What Janie said is absurd because good looking girls don't have to approach men, they get approached.0
