Woman should make the first move?
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I would but it's been so cold recently: I would need some warming up...I'm not exactly sure about the reasoning behind other people's actions but s when there's a woman I'm interested in I will weigh up the chances she'd be interested in me and more often than not I come to the conclusion I shouldn't bother.
You should take off your shirt. Improve your chances greatly
Actually, that goes for women too.0 -
^ This times a billionThere's a major disconnect that plays out here.
Most men would really like it if women made the first move. The problem is that the women who typically make first moves are not the object of men's desires. Men want women they find attractive to make the first move. Sadly for most men, this fantasy rarely plays out.
The women that are often perceived as the most desirable usually have no need to make the first move because they have plenty of options.
I guess the same could be true for men approaching women. If he's such hot *kitten*, he wouldn't have to approach.
My standards are high, and my personal value lays more in non-visible gifts. I certainly don't think I'm unattractive, so I guess that says something about my ego.
So if I see a guy that I find attractive, I will approach him because he might not approach me for whatever reason. Does that mean I'm ugly? No. It just means I'm displaying my plumage... even more metaphorically.0 -
It's been my experience that if a man is interested, he will approach and ask you out or get your number. I prefer to let men approach me, and I won't ask a man out or ask for his number. I prefer to let the man be the pursuer in the relationship. I like my relationships better when they evolve in that manner. When I was in my early 20s I did some pursuing from time to time and it never ended well for me. My relationships where the man pursued me have been much better relationships for me, so that is exclusively how I date now.
There are other women on this board will will happily ask men out and ask for their number.
It's all in what you are comfortable with.
I agree.
I have read that men need to feel like the aggressor...I think there is some truth to it so Id rather wait for a man to approach but it is all up to you individually. I think I would need to know the man liked me enough to ask me, but that is my own personal hangup. I know many women have been successful with approaching men but in real life all the couples I know have started with him asking her.0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P0 -
I would but it's been so cold recently: I would need some warming up...I'm not exactly sure about the reasoning behind other people's actions but s when there's a woman I'm interested in I will weigh up the chances she'd be interested in me and more often than not I come to the conclusion I shouldn't bother.
You should take off your shirt. Improve your chances greatly
Actually, that goes for women too.
Rub your chest... your arms will take care of themselves.
/nerd0 -
There are no absolutes.
Men or women can approach, it doesn't matter especially if the "relationship", either purely physical or more in depth, takes off.0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P
You win ten internets, sir.0 -
There's a major disconnect that plays out here.
Most men would really like it if women made the first move. The problem is that the women who typically make first moves are not the object of men's desires. Men want women they find attractive to make the first move. Sadly for most men, this fantasy rarely plays out.
The women that are often perceived as the most desirable usually have no need to make the first move because they have plenty of options.
THIS.
An average to above average woman will get hit on MANY times in the course of a week. They don't need to approach because guys come up to them. Why put in the effort when I can just look nice and have guys come up to me?
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
You sir...have an above tier mind.0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P
Oh, this would NEVER happen. We're living in SP Land where only the beautiful in Top Tier are allowed to procreate....0 -
There's a major disconnect that plays out here.
Most men would really like it if women made the first move. The problem is that the women who typically make first moves are not the object of men's desires. Men want women they find attractive to make the first move. Sadly for most men, this fantasy rarely plays out.
The women that are often perceived as the most desirable usually have no need to make the first move because they have plenty of options.
THIS.
An average to above average woman will get hit on MANY times in the course of a week. They don't need to approach because guys come up to them. Why put in the effort when I can just look nice and have guys come up to me?
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
Wow really..I mean I don't think I'm Far above average but I don't think I've cracked any mirror's lately and I know I have not been hit on in person for months.
I find if I approach men it rarely ends up working out..but that doesn't mean that if I were really interested in someone I wouldn't say it..I could see this happening more in a situation where there already was some relationship or common ground ie we work together or we have friends in common, in run club together..already on a first name basis...If I was interested and knew a man like that in my life was single I would ask him out.
Other wise..I'm not that likely to approach just cold turkey off the street, in the grocery store ect. I will smile and say hi..but I would leave it for him to continue.0 -
The more I read these things as time goes on the more I believe that anyone having expectations about what someone else should do the more likely they will be very unhappy about how it works out in the long run.
Carl, I've beat this horse dead in this group! needless to say I agree!0 -
Other wise..I'm not that likely to approach just cold turkey off the street, in the grocery store ect. I will smile and say hi..but I would leave it for him to continue.
This is all you have the do. If you smile and say hi, an interested guy would take the ball and run with it.0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.0 -
LOL oh goodness..... Ok boy and girls here it goes....
I get appraoched and make myself approachable (I.E. walk up and stand next to the guy at a bar and order a drink ) Make a little eye cantact , nod ,smile and say hi.. .Thats it YOU HAVE MAGICALLY APPRAOCHED SOMEONE.....0 -
The only time a mid-tier woman needs to approach is to get the attention of a top-tier man. This rarely works because the top-tier guy would rather approach a top-tier woman. However, a mid-tier man can approach a top-tier woman and have some success. This accounts for those mismatched couples we see.
What about a top tier man with a lisp approaching a mid tier woman with a low tier car? Or a low tier man who just won the lottery, still going through a messy divorce, with another low tier woman but considering plastic surgery? Top tier man with mid tier identical twins?
I think there are quite a few more combinations and permutations that need to be explored here.
--P
WIN!!!!0 -
I have a question and perhaps is a better solo topic but will do it here and is not aimed at anyones opinions,just something I sense at times and perhaps incorrectly so want to know.
Do most ladies have an assumption that guys are almost always successful to some degree when approaching a lady as the "pursuer" we often hear about?0 -
Most men would really like it if women made the first move. The problem is that the women who typically make first moves are not the object of men's desires. Men want women they find attractive to make the first move. Sadly for most men, this fantasy rarely plays out.
So any woman who makes the first move is automatically an Ogre simple because she made the move to begin with?
I knew at least one woman would try to twist this around and be personally insulted. No. You have your causation running backwards. A woman does not become an ogre because she asked a guy out. She is an ogre and therefore had to ask the guy out because it's the only possible way she is going to get a date.
There are exceptions but I think it's fairly accurate. Most women (probably 70%) who have ever asked me out has been 1) morbidly obese, and/or 2) borderline retarded, and/or 3) looked like a crack *kitten*.0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.
What if you're "top tier +1??"0 -
I don't know why we spend so much time talking about "top tier" men or women. No one in this group is "top tier", despite some people believing they might be.
How about we talk about normal people and their interactions.
What if you're "top tier +1??"
Not all of us can be you, hot stuff
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I have a question and perhaps is a better solo topic but will do it here and is not aimed at anyones opinions,just something I sense at times and perhaps incorrectly so want to know.
Do most ladies have an assumption that guys are almost always successful to some degree when approaching a lady as the "pursuer" we often hear about?
I've turned down enough guys to know that's not necessarily true.0
