kimbo8435 wrote: »

Sooo... last night I was at the grocery and I took a look at my old favorite grab-from-the-checkout-line snack: the double oatmeal creampie. The clerk musta thought I was nuts because I broke out in hysterics--- 76 carbs for the damn thing that I used to eat in 2 seconds without a thought! Nearly 4 days worth of carbs! Bwahahaha! God, I was so awful to my body and thankfully I have seen the keto light!

LOL!

Fvaisey wrote: »

JodiSW wrote: »

4031isaiah wrote: »

baconslave wrote: »

Thanks, guys.
I know I'm being whiny. But I felt this little group we have going on is about keeping it real.
I love r/keto and other keto communities, but they absolutely will not entertain the thought that keto isn't perfect and if you just nail everything perfectly, everything will fall right in line. Angels will sing. Weight will fall off and stay off and everything is flawless. Yes, check your electrolytes and yes, get enough fat. But if you are genuinely doing everything right, and them angels ain't singing? You still feel like crap?

Well life just doesn't work that way. Angels are too busy.
Some people are satisfied with keto at 800 cals and struggle to eat. That's not me. That's never been me. And I consider myself almost a keto expert now after I've been doing it so long; It's great, but not the end-all-be-all. Humans are too complicated for that to be the case.

Thanks for listening to me moan and groan. I'm just holding on and KCKO. It's raining cats, dogs, and bacon in my life right now.
That's what life does.

Gum helps me a lot, since, if I keep it in my mouth, then there's not calories going in there instead. But I have TMJ on one side and have to watch it. I do NOT need a flare and my jaw popping out of joint to add to my laundry list of dysfunction.

There were so many close calls yesterday. I almost dived face first into pork rinds and dip after supper. It doesn't help that DH and the kids snack like crazy. In my face. Phew! And it's another day...mercy!

Maintenance can be as tricky as losing. I would have been sunk if I hadn't thought about it ahead. And for all that planning, I held onto mine for about 2 sec. I'll get back there. I just need to breathe, deal with all this dumb BS life is giving me, and KCKO.

Thanks so much for being so transparent! You literally just sang my song! I could never really put my finger on the true root of my lack of success and reading your laments totally described how I've been feeling.

The main reason I have not had much success and relapse so often is the fact that even when I was 100% all in, in terms of a strict Keto diet, I was never free from the call of food.

I felt a bit better and had lost some water weight but little to no fat. My problem was that I'm not just in this for the sake of the WOE. I want to lose weight and in order to do that, I'd have to track and limit my calories which makes Keto no different than any other diet for me.

I have been following the Keto and Low Cal boards since August and this is literally the first time I have ever heard someone flat out say that low carbs and extra fat wasn't the miracle appetite-suppressing, fat-melting combo for them either.

I'm not glad to hear that you're struggling, but whenever I'd post about my struggles, I often felt like people must think I'm either not trying or not truly sticking to it the way I said I was. I am just glad to finally know that I'm not a lone anomaly.

@baconslave I don't think you're being whiny at all. You're being honest and I really appreciate it.

Like both of you, the call of food is never far. I have a life-long history of turning to it when I'm stressed, not feeling well, angry, bored, overwhelmed, joyous...you name it. I always want to eat. When I see people writing that you don't have to count calories on keto, I can't believe it. Not that I don't believe them, but I have a hard time believing that I could ever get there. I can gorge on keto foods just as much as any other because my problem is psychological. I know that I need to deal with it, but overcoming the way my brain has wired sometimes seems insurmountable. I continue to hope that by logging my calories I can retrain my thinking about what food I need. Even now, sitting here, I feel like ordering a pizza. Ugh.

I remember reading on another board at one point, maybe it was even you @KnitOrMiss that said it, that we're busy doing addition in our brain while our bodies are doing calculus.

One day at a time.

I have been stalled for the last few months. I can't decide whether I've been straying because I'm stressed or whether I use the stress as an excuse for poor eating. lol I'm really trying to change my habit of turning to food when stressed. Too bad there is only one way to quit food cold turkey...

Ha! Yeah, and that's the day I won't have to worry about my health anymore!

Oh, my.... Y'all are singing my song. Let me just tell you...

@JodiSW Yes - that's part of my quote. I stole it from another person (Kirkor, I believe), modified it, and added my own twist. The version of it on my profile right now is, "While you're doing arithmetic, your body is doing chemistry, physics, and calculus."

@baconslave OMG OMG OMG.... CHRONICALLY STUPID BODY SYNDROME IS SO A THING. A DASTARDLY EVIL DEMENTED VENGEFUL THING.... thank the gods it is not just me.... My bestie and I talk about this regularly. Just this morning, we were talking about my body being a jacked up hormonal drama queen or something. Like seriously.

And everyone. There is no magic pill, no magic formula. There is always a consequence, a resurgence, and reflection we must deal with. Sorry (and yes, no, there are no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or other fantasy thing, either, sad to say....the spirits of them, sure....historical figures, yes, but the current iterations? yeah, no...)...hope no bubbles burst there.

This is something I don't brag on right now, but I'm in keto re-adaption he!!. I don't know quite how to explain it. Every time I think I figure something out, my brain throws me a curve ball.

I went intentionally off plan for Thanksgiving (US) - ate like my former life self - the full on carb junkie. Even had leaded soda for the first time in a year. All of it. Got right back on Keto that Monday after - lost 95% of my gained weight that week.

Bestie came to visit the weekend of like 12/12. I was good until we hit one of my fave restaurants. I knew I was going off plan come 12/18 anyway (vacation - grouchy SO, wasn't worth the fighting over my dietary consumption for two weeks), and so I ate moderately carby....then later that night, we went out for a frozen sugary confection. Really??? And so I was off plan for about 3 full weeks - not all of it bad. Far less of a gain than Thanksgiving, but far harder to get back on the wagon. On for several days, then had the hellbinge weekend. OMG. I logged that thing. 3 days of 3500 calories plus daily, 400+ CARBS daily, etc.

That Monday, I said forget this, and dove back in. Been doing okay since. Got up back to 265 (1/25) with all the water gain and fat indulgence and all that. As point of reference, my STARTING weight last year was 261.... I got down to 239 as my lowest last year (March), but mainly hung around in the 245-250 range most of the year. So not only did I undo my losses, I started higher this time than before. I accepted that, because the off plan eating was mostly intentionally and I accepted that.

But I can't seem to lose anything. I lost that initial water weight. 1/23 to 1/25 was like a 5 pound GAIN almost overnight, so I'm really not counting that as a true gain. As of today, I'm at 258.6. So in three weeks, 2 pounds that can't make up their mind. No inches lost (still can't fit back in my main jeans). I'm doing well on diet, controlling carbs and cravings. Just today I turned down a box of specialty/fancy donuts from a client. Used @glossbones 's technique of enjoying the smell and letting it stay at that. Now enjoying a jello fat bomb - and temptation is mostly diminished.

But I'm just not making progress. I know what that felt like last year. I'm also fighting massive dehydration or electrolyte imbalance or something. All crap I never dealt with, or not to this degree, last year/before. Cracked dry lips that hurt to be kissed or to eat, off and on, they were blissful like soft buttery lips, only to go to ragged chapped insanity in less than an hour. Added salt, removed salt. Upped water, kept it level. Added lite salt/potassium. trying everything, and now as a result of the dryness, I've got a raging cold sore OUT OF NOWHERE.

Add to that that since I started MCT oil, I'm having postprandial somnolence (passing out after eating) again - sometimes with a meal with like 2-3 carbs - nothing that should in any way trigger an insulin reaction. And I'm starting to lose my sanity, what little of it may or may not have been left. Yesterday, no MCT reaction, but still had the oil... so I really really don't know what is going on.

I had a similar reaction to where coconut oil just made me sick as all get out... I had to completely adjust everything... And still, I'm making no real progress. It's so frustrating. So no, none of you are alone in this insanity...

Sorry to grumble so much. Guess i needed to vent some... *sigh*

@KnitOrMiss Sounds like your bestie has an awesome sense of humor and I'm happy you have someone like that in your life. When I'm deep in the mire, it's my bestie who helps me find the warped humor in the whole mess too. Mostly, I'm glad you're still in the game. When my chronic illness was at it's worst, I had people tell me that I was so strong while inside I was screaming, "But I wanna give up!" But you? You're still in it- every friggin minute. You're continuing to try and tweak keto and that my friend is flabbergasting. You. are. amazing.

Hoo boy. I am too familiar w that feeling. There are days on my job where I feel like I'm pretending. Fake it till ya make it, baby!

elize7 wrote: »

Tonite is dance/drink night out. Yippee! Have been back on keto for 2 days, I think. My plan is to stick to my 2 drink limit, and skip eating anything at the food /party that usually follows. Only have water while others eat. This is hard to do, but it's easier when less intoxicated. So, only two. I've strayed from plan enough for now. Thinking strict, no exceptions... eyes on the prize...

Hope you had a great time!

I haven't been out since November. So I am jealous!

KnitOrMiss wrote: »

kimbo8435 wrote: »

@KnitOrMiss Sounds like your bestie has an awesome sense of humor and I'm happy you have someone like that in your life. When I'm deep in the mire, it's my bestie who helps me find the warped humor in the whole mess too. Mostly, I'm glad you're still in the game. When my chronic illness was at it's worst, I had people tell me that I was so strong while inside I was screaming, "But I wanna give up!" But you? You're still in it- every friggin minute. You're continuing to try and tweak keto and that my friend is flabbergasting. You. are. amazing.

She does indeed. Sadly, we are 3-4 hours drive from each other, and only connect when I'm on wifi, so it's really really hit or miss... And yup, warped sense of humor is our specialty. I have connected with a few folks on here, too, because of that very thing. LOL

@kimbo8435 Now, I'll be honest....this comment really threw me for a loop....and I'm still trying to see if I can pinpoint why.

Oh, wow - a friend just shared this awesome article with me that really sums it up... I hope you enjoy it as much as I did... http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/02/04/emmie-mears-hi-hello-were-here-to-revoke-your-artist-card/

You are uh-mazing! F$ck!ng Chronicly Stupid Body Syndrome has become the usual to you, as it does to the suffers. The truth is that you have a lot going against you right now with CSB syndrome, and you aren't giving up. A lot of people give up. I gave up for a long time.

You and I are coming at this stupid nonsense like a BEAST. RAWR.

Btw: I only like weird/twist people. "Normals" are b o r i n g. We are the cool kids.

frikfourie wrote: »

@JodiSW, you're not intrusive at all. If you look at my diary, you will see I have normally a Bulletproof coffee for breakfast. I had way too much butter and coconut oil in it. I brought that down to about 50% of what it was. I also had way too much fat during dinner, which I also have reduced drastically. It has been 2 days now, and I really can't say I have experienced any new hunger pangs or any negative effects. I am feeling very positive, and I think this was my problem the last 4 months. But I will know for a fact by next Friday.

I might also just mention that I have very nearly NEVER cheated on this WOE since I started. I have at times eaten too much fat/meat/eggs etc, but never did I eat any bread, rice, or any sugar/chocolate. I also never went for this almond/coconut flour bread substitutes. And it is becoming quite easy to resist these things as the time pass. I think it helps me that my brain by now knows there will be no bread etc, so it just gives up, which was why I decided to try this approach. And it was very difficult in the beginning, but I persisted. Now I just need the last 40 pounds to go, then I'm good.

Oh yeah, if drinking whisky and water is cheating, then I did it big time! I just love my whisky, and regularly indulged at least once a week. I try to only do it on weekends, but sometimes I'm weak, so sue me . Tomorrow we have a going away party again for someone at work, so from 3pm we will be partying!

And then I trained 5 times a week for 45 min every weekday, and I mean I did train! I use the heaviest weights I can handle, and I really don't do any cardio either, pure strength exercises. Which is why I waited so long before I started thinking something is wrong with my weight-loss. I was secretly hoping I was gaining muscle, and losing weight. But then I thought it was really taking too long, since I am already 49 years old, and I want to reach my target weight before I'm 60!!!

Anyway, you guys enjoy your day and keep on keeping on!

Thanks for the explanation - so, did you decrease your overall calorie intake or adjust your macros? And if so, what percentages are you aiming for?

I don't believe the whisky is cheating. We have to enjoy life! And for me, that includes enjoying a little bourbon on occasion.

4031isaiah wrote: »

KnitOrMiss wrote: »

I don't feel amazing or uh-mazing. And people keep saying that about giving up is easier. It isn't easier for me...I guess I'm just stubborn. In my brain, somehow, giving up fully isn't ever going to
SIGH - I'm not fully derailed from any normal thinking because we are having meetings about the office move and stuff... I'm going to have to CHANGE EVERYTHING... Nothing I've worked with for the last 10 years will fit in my area in that new space.... I likely will have no F's left to give or any sanity left until April, if then.

What do you do for work and where are you moving?

I'm a receptionist/office manager for an engineering company, and we're moving from a super small town to Norman, OK (home of OU - aka University of Oklahoma). We were awarded a Norman contract that requires us to have an office there...

And the planning for this move is spotty at best, and while I'm not responsible for much, I'm sure the blame will land on me....

Good for you. I gave up alcohol too.