jcavanna2 wrote: »

@Stephaniev51697 - my sister lives in Old Bethpage and other friends are in Lyndhurst! Next time I head "home" we should try and meet up!

@jcavanna2 Definitely let me know the next time you are "home", I'd love to meet up!

Dating was terrifying! Intimacy seemed like judgement day. I was with my now ex for 17 years. We divorced 6mo post op. I've lost over 200 lbs in just over a year and a half...my body looks like a deflated balloon hahaha!!! I'm very lucky; however, and met a wonderful man. He and I are serious now, but it still amazes me that he'll sit on the side of the tub when I bathe and keep me company...with my extra skin kinda floating and my breasts non existent for the most part. I keep asking him how it doesn't bother him. He just laughs and squeezes me and tells me that I'm perfect. I can't even understand this!

As far as intimacy...I have been with a few men since my divorce. One of them and I became friends. I asked him seriously about my body, and he kinda got angry. He said that it wasn't even a topic for discussion. I got offended until he explained. He told me that I'm incredible as a person and as a partner, and my confidence made any issues that I had with my body literally non-existent. Another partner had WLS 3 yrs before and hadn't been with a woman for 6 years. We found all of his out when we noticed our "tell-tale" eating habits on a blind date lol. We too remain in contact.

Bottom line - I've been 100% open. I've dated through tinder. I've told all of the men that I've gone out with prior to our first date. I've only found one person who was no longer interested.

Saddest part...I now see how miserable and alone I was in my marriage.

I still don't understand why some guys think we want to see it. Even if we're getting ready to do the deed, I still really don't want to see it. Lol. I usually liked to respond with a "Aw. That's hard?! I'm so sorry." I got called a b*tch a lot, but meh.

chubby_checkers wrote: »

I still don't understand why some guys think we want to see it. Even if we're getting ready to do the deed, I still really don't want to see it. Lol. I usually liked to respond with a "Aw. That's hard?! I'm so sorry." I got called a b*tch a lot, but meh.

I really don't get it either. A picture of your junk is not going to automatically make me think that you are the hottest man in the world and I have to have you NOW. Most of the guys that send those pics really think they have something special. I usually tell them, unless it's laying golden eggs or can do my laundry for me, it isn't as special as you think it is.

So I've missed a lot of the discussion in here, but I've just started getting back into the swing of things (I'll be 5 years post op in May). I have had a couple interesting dates during these 5 years, and I had a lot of questions in my head about when to talk about my surgery and whatnot.

Thankfully, most of the guys I've dated during that time were not as worried about it as I was. The worst experience I had was with a guy who I dated a little while, and I told him I had had surgery. When the night finally came we decided to get intimate, as we were kissing and touching, he asked with heavy breathing between kisses 'So what kind of workouts are you doing to tighten this skin?' Right away I stopped him and asked 'Really?' He tried to tell me to forget it and that he misspoke, but I told him he made me very self-conscious when I'm not used to being that. I wasn't able to get comfortable with him after that.

I also dated a really health-conscious cardiologist for about 6 months as well. He was very fit, went to the gym daily, etc, but he always complimented me on my body and whatnot even with the excess skin. I had told him before at the beginning of us dating about the surgery and all that was said was along the lines of "Well you have done really well and look amazing", so I thought it was cool that he was pretty normal about it. Well, fast-forward 6 months and he's telling me about how one of his doctor buddies is trying to get him into doing weight loss surgeries with him. He tells me he doesn't know that he would want to get into it though since it's mostly just for people who don't want to put in the hard work to lose weight. Flabbergasted, I remind him that I had WLS, and how much work it still took to lose the weight. He totally forgot and tried to take back what he said. I didn't break up with him due to that at all, but we did split soon after.
I've never had any other bad experiences. Most guys are just thrilled to be with someone who feels happy about themselves and enjoy being with them.

Eek, while rejection hurts, if it's due to something as petty as 'not being able to handle' loose skin, you definitely dodged a bullet.

StevenGarrigus wrote: »

The Anthony Wiener Syndrome.

Made me lol. I always felt that he was just trying to live up to his name. And if you're going to go into public office, having a name like WIener is not a great idea.