You know you are LCHF when...
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pitbullmamaliz wrote: »When you've "re-appropriated" some salt packets from the gas station to keep in various places in case you feel your electrolytes going wonky, but then you spend time wondering whether they're a quarter of a teaspoon, or half. How much sodium am I getting???
Last week while we were on vacation, I snagged a handfull from a little coffee shop in the airport. I used them all week long and was super happy I had them!2 -
... you stir some peanut butter, cream cheese and whipped cream together in a bowl and think that's a perfectly reasonable, delicious, and well-balanced meal.10
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Who could argue otherwise?0
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1 you check all labels for carbs, including the packet of washing powder
Check2 you consider pork scratchings to be diet food
Oh I use 'em any way I can - !3 your fridge and freezer is filled with meat
Is here anything else - ?!4 you constantly consider what else you can add cheese to
Have you tried it with cheese? Its amazing!5 you are a cheap date alcohol wise
What's a 'date'...?6 you consider a cheeseboard to be a healthy option
I never touch the cheeseboard. I clear it... but I leave the woody thing alone. Too much roughage....7 you don't think twice about peeing on a stick and thinking it is normal
I'm not even gonna go there...8 you believe everything will taste better with butter/oil and some salt
No, I believe everything DOES taste better with butter/oil and some salt.9 you think nothing of spreading peanut butter on celery for a nice snack
Actually my guilty pleasure is some peanut butter with a little bit of celery...Please feel free to add your own.
OK,
You (an Italian) look at a cupboardful of pasta and think, "Cazzo boia ma che cos' e tutta questa porcheria - ?!"
You walk past people in the supermarket, look at their shopping carts and just keep thinking "YOU'RE gonna die, and YOU'RE gonna die, and YOU'RE gonna die...."
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I know the peanut butter thing keeps getting mentioned on celery. Personally, I have found some good pimento cheese at Sam's that says 0 carb to use on celery. Granted, I am sure it is really 0.49 and they round down, but it is still lower carb than PB or almond butter.3
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When son says "man mom I hope you keep cooking like this. It tastes so much better than that healthy crap you made" Apparently turkey burger wasnt cutting it back in the day.13
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cstehansen wrote: »I know the peanut butter thing keeps getting mentioned on celery. Personally, I have found some good pimento cheese at Sam's that says 0 carb to use on celery. Granted, I am sure it is really 0.49 and they round down, but it is still lower carb than PB or almond butter.
I buy a brand called Palmetto cheese that comes in little 1 oz. tubs so I can control myself. It has 1 carb each. It's my favorite item to pair with celery!2 -
....you look at the list of food items being requested in a food drive for veterans and think, "are they trying to kill our heroes with all this carbage??!?!?!"
I opted to donate some of the requested toiletries instead.4 -
cstehansen wrote: »I know the peanut butter thing keeps getting mentioned on celery. Personally, I have found some good pimento cheese at Sam's that says 0 carb to use on celery. Granted, I am sure it is really 0.49 and they round down, but it is still lower carb than PB or almond butter.
I buy a brand called Palmetto cheese that comes in little 1 oz. tubs so I can control myself. It has 1 carb each. It's my favorite item to pair with celery!
Amen! That stuff is amazing. Tastes like I make at home. I love the jalapeño kind!
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When you get excited to find this kind of chart on a web page;
Vegetable Carb Count Serving Size
Arugula 1.5g 2 cups
Asparagus 2.5g 4 spears
Bell Peppers 3g ½ medium pepper
Broccolini 2g 1 cup
Celery 2.4g 2 stalks
Cucumber 2.9g 1 cup
Mushrooms 3g 4 large
Radishes 2.1g 7 large
Spinach 2.2g 2 cups
Swiss Chard 2.7g 2 cups
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When you make a salad for dinner and it has 1100 kcals and 105g of fat.5
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There were SOME greens in there SOMEWHERE, I swear.3
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...when you fill empty One Touch Verio canisters (plastic clip topped tubs similar in size to old film roll canisters) with full cream from home to use at cafés where, in response to the request "I'd like some cream with my coffee please, no, not whipped cream or thickened cream just normal pouring cream", you get one of these:
1. But that's so unhealthy.
2. You're weird.
3. We have soy milk, skim milk, special barista milk, almond milk, goats milk, oat milk, rice milk but not cream, sorry.
4. Are you American?
5. Aah you're from Europe? You want Vienna coffee?
6. Whaddya think I am, a café? (This from a coffee cart at a sporting event which had a menu of 12 different coffee types.)
7. Here's your coffee. I made it with milk instead because I couldn't find any cream.
8. Yes we can make it with full cream milk. [No, I said full cream. Not milk. Cream. Just cream.] Yes we have full cream milk. [No. I mean just cream. Cream. Not milk. Not full cream milk. Pouring cream.] 《Blank stare at you》
9. Yes we have good crema. [No, not crema on the coffee. Just want cream.]5 -
etruscansunited wrote: »special barista milk5
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etruscansunited wrote: »3. We have soy milk, skim milk, special barista milk, almond milk, goats milk, oat milk, rice milk but not cream, sorry.
Is this implying the barista is lactating?5 -
etruscansunited wrote: »...when you fill empty One Touch Verio canisters (plastic clip topped tubs similar in size to old film roll canisters) with full cream from home to use at cafés where, in response to the request "I'd like some cream with my coffee please, no, not whipped cream or thickened cream just normal pouring cream", you get one of these:
1. But that's so unhealthy.
2. You're weird.
3. We have soy milk, skim milk, special barista milk, almond milk, goats milk, oat milk, rice milk but not cream, sorry.
4. Are you American?
5. Aah you're from Europe? You want Vienna coffee?
6. Whaddya think I am, a café? (This from a coffee cart at a sporting event which had a menu of 12 different coffee types.)
7. Here's your coffee. I made it with milk instead because I couldn't find any cream.
8. Yes we can make it with full cream milk. [No, I said full cream. Not milk. Cream. Just cream.] Yes we have full cream milk. [No. I mean just cream. Cream. Not milk. Not full cream milk. Pouring cream.] 《Blank stare at you》
9. Yes we have good crema. [No, not crema on the coffee. Just want cream.]
OMG I had more trouble trying to get full-fat cream at a Starbucks than I've ever had ordering a bunless burger at a restaurant. They were CLUELESS. I eventually got unsweetened whipping cream but it took the whole staff to figure it out.
Also, I have a lot of those little plastic 35mm film 'cans', I collect & use antique cameras and have a large stock of film to go with them. Great idea using them for cream!
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When there are two entries in the database for your sour cream that have identical nutrition information, but you choose the one that says, "sour cream (full fat)" because *kitten* yeah, full fat!2
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When you see a mother reaching for 'low fat' children's yoghurts and you yell, out loud "Noooo! Don't give them THAT *kitten*!!" in the supermarket - and a lady next to you says "Oh thank god for some common sense!"....! (Yay! WIN!!)
(ETA: I then spent 15 minutes talking to said mother - who changed her mind and bought the 'proper' stuff! Yay! 2nd Win!!)8 -
When someone offers you a sugary treat and you kindly decline, but then roll your eyes after they say "but it's 'fat free'"4
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I've only just started keto but this is what i've noticed already;
Your coworkers think your sudden affection for chicken stock cubes is some sort of pregnancy craving and they ask if you are pregnant. (No *kitten* way)3 -
You get super excited that the seasoning you just picked up is absolutely loaded with sodium.3
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you buy a pack of pork shoulder steaks because the one on top is super fatty and you are disappointed when you get home because the two underneath are super lean.5
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When you just ate a quarter cup of cream cheese ... straight up with a spoon... like a small bowl of ice cream ... lol6
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You know it's Meativore May when...
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