Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
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It sounds like you are getting your yard under control....the biggest problem in our yard right now is that the Bamboo tree is shedding its outer husks....when we take the dog out, she thinks they are squirrels invading her territory and if you aren’t prepared, she will drag you across the yard....we have three huge live Oaks that are massive and have evidently survived storms and hurricanes....we had one trimmed that was dragging branches on the roof and it was almost $400.... now we need the other two trimmed because they are hanging over the fence into our neighbors banana trees....the neighbors haven’t complained yet but they will sooner or later!....enjoy your nice weather while it lasts!..
....our son did his fifth leg of his Appalachian trail journey this past week...I think that puts him at over 100 miles....he really enjoys the solitude...I saw Matt a couple of weeks ago and he was the heaviest I have seen him...at 6’ 8” he can carry some weight but he was about 245 and now he is pushing 280... he will cut out sodas and chips for six weeks and the extra weight will be gone....why can’t I do that? LOL1 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »It sounds like you are getting your yard under control....the biggest problem in our yard right now is that the Bamboo tree is shedding its outer husks....when we take the dog out, she thinks they are squirrels invading her territory and if you aren’t prepared, she will drag you across the yard....we have three huge live Oaks that are massive and have evidently survived storms and hurricanes....we had one trimmed that was dragging branches on the roof and it was almost $400.... now we need the other two trimmed because they are hanging over the fence into our neighbors banana trees....the neighbors haven’t complained yet but they will sooner or later!....enjoy your nice weather while it lasts!..
....our son did his fifth leg of his Appalachian trail journey this past week...I think that puts him at over 100 miles....he really enjoys the solitude...I saw Matt a couple of weeks ago and he was the heaviest I have seen him...at 6’ 8” he can carry some weight but he was about 245 and now he is pushing 280... he will cut out sodas and chips for six weeks and the extra weight will be gone....why can’t I do that? LOL
If he loses 35 pounds in 6 weeks he needs to see a doctor about how much fluid he is retaining... but I know what you mean. My BiL used to do that all the time. He would lose 20 or 30 pounds without much effort. However, he never lost all he needed and he always put it back on as soon as he reverted to his previous habits. He then repeated his diet about every 12 to 18 months. It made for a good story and a grievance for his wife but no one really saw the bigger picture. In his case it was not easy come, easy go as much as easy go, easy come back.0 -
It will take him a few months to lose it but it will be faster than I can lose weight!....his job isn’t super active but he is on a Police hockey team, he hikes,takes care of his yard and walks a lot...Swims and fishes....He was really heavy in middle school but never as an adult....
I am very impressed and envious of your hiking trips!...so happy you are enjoying your life!...you have certainly earned it!...it is sad how much of life being overweight can make you miss out on...and then as the weight drops, we try to make up for lost time!.....
Stay out of that Poison Ivy!0 -
I am soooo bloated. (/whine) I can feel how bloated I am. I couldn't put my jeans on today, I had to wear a bigger size. My bra is uncomfortable and I am spilling over. I really hope this passes soon. I did not weigh today, but I'm pretty confident I'm carrying several extra pounds of water. Yes, TOM is due. But I'm perimenopausal so being able to say, "It's towards the end of the month soooo... somewhere around here...." is the best I can do.2
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Depression has been bad this week - the worst I've felt in a very long time, and a huge part of this mood comes back to my job that I still can't figure out what to do about. It was a beautiful week, but I only got in 2 walks and they didn't help my mood much at all even with the abundant sunshine we had this week (so my depression definitely isn't sunlight driven), and I didn't get anything else done. The house still needs vacuumed and at least swiffer-mopped, I still need to clean the bathroom, I still desperately need to dust, I still need to get that lantern pole together for the camping trip next week, and I still need to get that jacket put together that I cut out last week.
Motivation is just gone. The scale is stubbornly staying above 223 lbs, which is 6 lbs up from the lowest weight I recorded. I'm bloated and still feeling very puffy even though TOM arrived Thursday. Guilt is still vaguely in the background, but apathy even has that muted.
A lot of the reason I didn't get anything done on Wednesday or Thursday was because the best friend called and we talked all evening, but with the mood I've been dealing with, I desperately needed that distraction because having my mind focused on something else, especially this unexpectedly humorous situation that we came up with for one of the characters, did get me out of that depressed headspace for a while.
The camping trip starts on Wednesday, and I went grocery shopping for it yesterday - the friend paid for the site, so I told her I'd get the food, especially as she doesn't do the cooking anyway. The local Walmart and Lowes are both out of propane, so I'm going to have to find some more somewhere else - I need more than usual since I'm taking my little propane heater with me and because its going to be darker a lot earlier than normal.
I'm irritated because all last week, the forecast was supposed to be beautiful, but yesterday morning it changed, and now they are calling for the exact same, cotton pickin', dab-blamed weather pattern we had the camping trip in early September - rain Wednesday morning, all day Thursday, and most of Friday, with the only pretty days being Saturday and Sunday, which is the day we are leaving - Argghhh! That means no walking trails on Thursday or Friday, and with it being the time of year it is, even if its pretty on Saturday, with the terrain being steep like it is and wet leaves being on the ground, I don't know if I'd want to chance the trails on Saturday.3 -
@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.1 -
@bmeadows380
From what I remember reading sunlight therapy is less effective in the fall and winter. There is no reason to think that a limited window of good weather would have made a large or lasting change. Also, vitamin D levels are low even in sunnier areas which is why so many of us need to supplement these days.
I supplement 5000iu in the summer and 10k in the winter. I get the kind that has oil in the capsule since D is fat soluble. My blood work tests in the green so I suppose that works.
Even still I feel a slight downshift in mood this time of year. I get the occasional case of the 'I don't cares' which results in some calorie creeping. I know that does not compare to what you are going through but I thought it might be mentioning that the season may be the little bit extra that helps tip the scale.
You have to stay here and you have to keep posting. Helping others will still have a positive impact. Try to keep your awareness high that continual surplus food is only going to add a negative impact. It is not a solution. It is not a comfort. It is a problem.
Remember that maintaining is a victory. If I had learned that lesson a long time ago I would have stopped with the all or nothing thinking. Even if I could not sustain one of my efforts if I had just maintained my progress instead of gaining back everything (and more) my story would not have been far different.
As long as your health is stable it does not matter if you lose 6 months out of the year and maintain 6. Take progress where you can and then maintain that progress when you are not feeling up to more.
I know this is a big ask but try to give yourself permission to be human.
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I am having a TOM fuelled day where I want to eat ALL the food especially the chocolate and burst into tears. I am not going to be doing this, but it's not real comfortable either. (sigh) Normally if after a meal I want one of the 80 calorie candy bars I have it, because it makes no huge difference. But right now if I eat over my limit at all I'll eat ALL THE FOOD. So not doing it. Bodies are weird. This didn't happen last month.1
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@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol2 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
Get someone else to list your strengths. You are not a good judge of you.4 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
I've thought the same thing about myself - I always thought I would love to start my own business, the problem being that I can't actually DO anything. And when asking a friend what job he thought I would be good at, he replied "well you like to clean, so maybe...a maid?" 😂 But when you drill down on my tidiness, you actually see that I have organizational skills. If engineering isn't for you, what about technical writing? It still requires technical knowledge and I know you've talked about writing as a hobby before. You may have all kinds of skills that you've just never looked at through the lense of career options.2 -
I think my scales are stuck again!.....the rate I am losing weight, I will be 90 before I have reached my goal....grumble, grumble, groan4
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I'm really resenting Boyfriend's issues right now. I haven't been going to the gym in the morning because Boyfriend's mental health is such that he needs me to be here when he wakes up. And thanks to the above mental health issues he doesn't get up at a set time. But my weight loss would go better if I went to the gym every day and did some stuff.4
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bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
Get someone else to list your strengths. You are not a good judge of you.
can't argue there; it would be finding someone who would be honest and not want to just make me feel better that would be the trick these days.bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
I've thought the same thing about myself - I always thought I would love to start my own business, the problem being that I can't actually DO anything. And when asking a friend what job he thought I would be good at, he replied "well you like to clean, so maybe...a maid?" 😂 But when you drill down on my tidiness, you actually see that I have organizational skills. If engineering isn't for you, what about technical writing? It still requires technical knowledge and I know you've talked about writing as a hobby before. You may have all kinds of skills that you've just never looked at through the lense of career options.
Yeah - if I could just make a living being a housewife! lol
I don't know; technical writing maybe, but my biggest hurdle is that the economy is very depressed here and I don't have contacts. How does one even break into a new career field?1 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I'm really resenting Boyfriend's issues right now. I haven't been going to the gym in the morning because Boyfriend's mental health is such that he needs me to be here when he wakes up. And thanks to the above mental health issues he doesn't get up at a set time. But my weight loss would go better if I went to the gym every day and did some stuff.
Perhaps try to find a machine for the house or a routine you can do on challenging mornings? I do not like my elliptical but I appreciate it for being mostly silent, weatherproof, and zero drive. I prefer to be either outside or at a gym but I am the kind of person that has a backup plan for a backup plan. I have a very early appointment today, in fact I am about to head out the door, so I used it this morning.3 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
Get someone else to list your strengths. You are not a good judge of you.
can't argue there; it would be finding someone who would be honest and not want to just make me feel better that would be the trick these days.bmeadows380 wrote: »@bmeadows380 From one unhappily-employed person to another:
If you're struggling to come up with a career idea that really seems like a fit, try looking at job options from different "angles." I recently started googling "jobs for people with ____ skills" and filling in my top strengths (organization, time management, etc) and I stumbled across something I hadn't considered before that I am now seriously thinking about transitioning to. For the longest time I thought "I would change careers if only I knew what I would like better" and this has at least given me some hope that there is one.
*sigh* the problem is I don't see where I have any true job skills or any real marketable skills. Trying to list my strengths gets me nowhere because I don't see where I have any that are actually useful in the job marketplace. Listing "somehow managed to graduate engineering school without actually having a clue how to be an engineer then spending 16 years in the workplace and STILL seem to have no clue how to actually engineer anything" doesn't sound real impressive lol
I've thought the same thing about myself - I always thought I would love to start my own business, the problem being that I can't actually DO anything. And when asking a friend what job he thought I would be good at, he replied "well you like to clean, so maybe...a maid?" 😂 But when you drill down on my tidiness, you actually see that I have organizational skills. If engineering isn't for you, what about technical writing? It still requires technical knowledge and I know you've talked about writing as a hobby before. You may have all kinds of skills that you've just never looked at through the lense of career options.
Yeah - if I could just make a living being a housewife! lol
I don't know; technical writing maybe, but my biggest hurdle is that the economy is very depressed here and I don't have contacts. How does one even break into a new career field?
Why don't you start with an aptitude test?
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@bmeadows380 I think you've received some good ideas from @NovusDies and @amart4224. I think you have more skills than you realize that may transfer to a new career or maybe your own business. It might not be as lucrative as your current job, especially in the beginning, but maybe you could start something on the side. It could grow beyond what you might expect and, if it's more rewarding for you, a slight pay cut may be worth it. It sounds like you can do so many things. You've talked about all the yard, house, and tool/equipment related things you can do, the different things you've done to fix up your camper, including some electrical work IIRC, sewing, cooking, your passion for creative writing, plus more I'm sure I'm forgetting. You have a list of skills that I envy. Maybe make a comprehensive list of all of them, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to you. Include your interests and hobbies and things you dreamed about doing when you were a child. Something might occur to you when you see them all laid out or the list might help you with the Google search amart4224 suggested or the aptitude test NovusDies suggested.2
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Okay here's my whine for the day: stray dogs make it impossible to walk my dogs around the neighborhood! My preferred form of exercise is walking, and I always take at least one of my two dogs with me. If I'm staying in my neighborhood, both dogs can go, but if I drive to a park or trail to walk, only one gets to go because they do not ride in the car well together. So I would love to walk them around the neighborhood regularly because then all three of us get exercise. Problem is, there are so many stray dogs around (along with some who are not strays but their owners let them roam) and I hate having them run up on us, not knowing if they are aggressive, will try to come home with us, etc. I've tried contacting animal control but I live in a weird little town that doesn't pay county taxes so we don't have access to county services and the city services are basically non-existent. I don't know how to keep the strays at a distance so I can keep myself and my girls safe! So frustrating!2
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@amart4224 I've had giant breed fosters who were leash reactive and totally get the feeling. It's probably my biggest pet peeve, especially when it comes to off-leash owned dogs.
My struggle for the week is that my partner took the week off of work. They love to cook but having worked in restaurants for years, they still tend to cook like they're in the restaurant kitchen with little regard for cooking oil and measurements. They usually work evenings and I have my rotation of easy dinners that work well calorically to help me fit in the days that they cook. I won't be having any of those for the week. I knew it would be a brainteaser to fully stick to the 2lb loss calories this week so I swapped for 1.5 and even though I know that this is totally fine my first instinct is to berate myself for doing it.
My logical brain knows that this is a really smart, gracious move for me. I'm not letting anything get out of hand—heck, I'm probably not even going to wind up eating past the 2 pounds down calories plus exercise most days—but having that 250 calorie buffer zone feels way better for my brain.
So, my whine is a lot less about the process of dieting and more about why I need to be preprogrammed to tell myself I'm doing things wrong when I know that what I'm doing is right. Being pulled between flexibility and rigidity has been a problem for me in places even outside of eating and while I consciously know to err on the side of being as kind as possible to myself my subconscious lizard brain is still always looking for that dig.3 -
its been really windy here in the mid-Atlantic today and its cold - the local high today is 40F - and that's not including the wind chill! Brrrr!
I have noticed lately that I am especially being affected by the cold - I feel like I'm cold all the time anymore. My house does tend to hold the cooler temps during the mornings and into the early afternoon, which is fantastic in the summer but not so great in the wintertime. I'm trying to negotiate with myself because it has to be very frigid before I can fire up the pellet stove or it runs me out of the house. That just leaves the baseboard heaters as my backup, which is a killer on the power bill, so it becomes a juggling game over how low can I set those heaters and stand it. I don't remember having this problem of feeling chilled all the time before, but at the same time, I don't really want to be keeping my baseboards on 70 all winter, either!
I'm stopping at Walmart on my way home this evening; looks like I'll be going over to the underthings section and getting some thermals to wear this winter under my regular clothes, which is just a really, really strange thing to be doing - I've never had to wear thermals in my life! (course I'm only now just getting into the size where I can buy thermals and wear them in my size....)2
