Women who are intimidating?
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I'm going to turn your statement back on you (no offense) and say the non-belief is just a cop-out for not wanting to ask out a guy.
I'll preface this by saying I was raised with very traditional views about male/female gender roles in relationships. I don't think women should be subservient to men, but I do believe men are natural leaders and that a man pursuing a woman is the natural order of things (i.e. I think this is biological and not societal, as we are so often told). More to the point, I'm not looking for a man who is afraid of me. The kind of man I am interested in would not want me to ask him out because he would consider it his responsibility (if he were interested).
Now, that doesn't mean I have no obligation to encourage him by making him aware that the interest is mutual. But if he knows that and isn't willing to ask me out, then clearly he is not interested ENOUGH and is, therefore, not the man I am looking for.Definitely this. Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.
It's not about your self-worth. My standards have more to do with how I expect to be treated, not with how much money you make, your family background, etc. There is a lot of BS that an average woman will put up with just to have a man in her life; a "strong" woman is far less likely to tolerate it because she knows she deserves better and can find better. Guys who don't really want to put in the effort tend to steer clear of strong women and follow the path of least resistance. They just call it "being intimidated." I believe that grown men who are looking for a committed, adult relationship are actually the opposite of "intimidated" when they meet a strong woman. I think such a woman excites and challenges and inspires a real man to be better than he was before he met her. Strangely enough, that's also what a strong woman is looking for in a strong man.0 -
Yes... I'm going to be *That Chick* that necros an old thread. It's only 2 weeks old so it shouldn't stink TOO much, right?
Anyway, thought of this thread today when I heard a song on the radio that fit the topic.
Kenny Chesney - The Woman with You
"'Cause I'm gopherin', chaufferin', company chairman.
Coffee maker, copy repairman.
Anymore there ain't nothin' I swear man
that I don't do.
Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals.
Dancing backwards in high heels.
Just when it feels like I can't make it through.
It sure is nice to just be the woman with you."
Especially those of us in male-dominated, dog-eat-dog professional fields... we're fighting "the man" all day long. Would be nice to just come home and be taken care of once in a while.0 -
Especially those of us in male-dominated, dog-eat-dog professional fields... we're fighting "the man" all day long. Would be nice to just come home and be taken care of once in a while.
I know, right??!!0 -
I probably will frustrate everyone here again but once more am confused.
Every lady here talks about being strong and independent and how guys don`t like that (false) but also in other threads almost 100 % of the ladies posting say that in a relationship they want to feel protected and girly and in some sort of "traditional" female role.
Doesn`t this tend to reward the behavior everyone claims they don`t want?
Im an alpha female. I call the shots at both my jobs and I have tons of responsibility on my shoulders and make way too many decisions every day. I can take care of myself and have for 15 years, in many metropolitan cities around the United States. I have no familial support system, its just me.
I have absolutely no problem admitting that sometimes, I would love to come home to someone and hand over the reins, the decision making and the shot-calling and curl up in his arms and let time stand still for a minute. And an equal number of times I am feeling extra strong and he could come home looking for the same thing and Id be more than happy to give it to him.
I want the option to be held and to hold. No one should have to stand on their own and fend for themselves forever just because they are strong and independent. Then again, I am kind of old fashioned in lots of ways.0 -
I think you put it pretty good yoovie. I am not intimidated by women but I would prefer a smart strong confident intelligent woman. I am worth it and she will be as well. For me that woman who is strong and smart enough to do it on her own but chooses to be with me isn't intimidating it is immensely flattering. And I know I am more than smart and strong enough to do it on my own so she too should be happy to know that we both choose to be with each other because we want to not as a crutch.
And yeah I like being taken care of sometimes and I like being the caretaker as well.0 -
I probably will frustrate everyone here again but once more am confused.
Every lady here talks about being strong and independent and how guys don`t like that (false) but also in other threads almost 100 % of the ladies posting say that in a relationship they want to feel protected and girly and in some sort of "traditional" female role.
Doesn`t this tend to reward the behavior everyone claims they don`t want?
Im an alpha female. I call the shots at both my jobs and I have tons of responsibility on my shoulders and make way too many decisions every day. I can take care of myself and have for 15 years, in many metropolitan cities around the United States. I have no familial support system, its just me.
I have absolutely no problem admitting that sometimes, I would love to come home to someone and hand over the reins, the decision making and the shot-calling and curl up in his arms and let time stand still for a minute. And an equal number of times I am feeling extra strong and he could come home looking for the same thing and Id be more than happy to give it to him.
I want the option to be held and to hold. No one should have to stand on their own and fend for themselves forever just because they are strong and independent. Then again, I am kind of old fashioned in lots of ways.
I can`t imagine anyone could find fault with that and should just be second nature to want to do that for your partner.
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I wish I had as good instincts as most of you on this site claim to have... if my instincts were that good, I'd have never married my ex in the first place. lol.
Janie, I bet yours are better now! Mine are I was 18 when my ex and I met.
Thanks :-) Mine are better, but an unfortunate side effect of being a physics geek is that sometimes you just can't pick up on "people stuff." I think that's part of why I'm often attracted to guys who are really "people persons" (opposites attract) and who end up being manipulators.0 -
Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.
So, guys, what expectations do you feel a "strong women" has for you that a "not so strong" woman might not have?0 -
I probably will frustrate everyone here again but once more am confused.
Every lady here talks about being strong and independent and how guys don`t like that (false) but also in other threads almost 100 % of the ladies posting say that in a relationship they want to feel protected and girly and in some sort of "traditional" female role.
Doesn`t this tend to reward the behavior everyone claims they don`t want?
Im an alpha female. I call the shots at both my jobs and I have tons of responsibility on my shoulders and make way too many decisions every day. I can take care of myself and have for 15 years, in many metropolitan cities around the United States. I have no familial support system, its just me.
I have absolutely no problem admitting that sometimes, I would love to come home to someone and hand over the reins, the decision making and the shot-calling and curl up in his arms and let time stand still for a minute. And an equal number of times I am feeling extra strong and he could come home looking for the same thing and Id be more than happy to give it to him.
I want the option to be held and to hold. No one should have to stand on their own and fend for themselves forever just because they are strong and independent. Then again, I am kind of old fashioned in lots of ways.
Exactly this! You put this so eloquently. I think what most of us are looking for, in the end, is a partnership. Yes, we want to feel cherished and protected, but we're equally willing to cherish and protect right back - give and take. We may not be able to protect men physically, but we're usually pretty good at emotional protection and reinforcement (which is not to say that men aren't, just that in this respect, the 'traditional' model is often fairly accurate, with the male providing more physical security to the female who is typically less physically-strong, and the female enhancing the male's emotional security).Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.So, guys, what expectations do you feel a "strong women" has for you that a "not so strong" woman might not have?
Please tell! I'd love to know too.0 -
Im an alpha female. I call the shots at both my jobs and I have tons of responsibility on my shoulders and make way too many decisions every day. I can take care of myself and have for 15 years, in many metropolitan cities around the United States. I have no familial support system, its just me.
I have absolutely no problem admitting that sometimes, I would love to come home to someone and hand over the reins, the decision making and the shot-calling and curl up in his arms and let time stand still for a minute. And an equal number of times I am feeling extra strong and he could come home looking for the same thing and Id be more than happy to give it to him.
I want the option to be held and to hold. No one should have to stand on their own and fend for themselves forever just because they are strong and independent. Then again, I am kind of old fashioned in lots of ways.
This is exactly how I feel about it. I get a thrill out of being good at my job and knowing that I can stand toe-to-toe with the men I work with, but when work is done, I don't want to wear the pants anymore, so to speak. It's not only nice but also necessary to be able to turn the femininity back on, to have a man who makes me feel safe and cherished and, yes, sexy and desirable.
At the same time, I am a nurturer. I want a man to know that when he has one of those days where he gets kicked in the proverbial balls repeatedly, he can come home, ditch the superhero costume, and know that he doesn't have to prove anything to me and that I will take care of him for a change.
I don't think any of that is incompatible with women expecting to be treated as equals in the workplace or having the same basic rights (voting, property ownership, etc.) as men. We can still acknowledge and even celebrate the fact that we are biologically hardwired with complementary "skills," e.g. men are providers and protectors, women are nurturers and caregivers, etc.0 -
I am as guilty as anyone about using general labels but guess I would need a general consensus as to what qualifies one as a "strong woman" or "not so strong".Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.
So, guys, what expectations do you feel a "strong women" has for you that a "not so strong" woman might not have?0 -
Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.
So, guys, what expectations do you feel a "strong women" has for you that a "not so strong" woman might not have?
I find strong women to be incredibly sexy, but they just seem much more unapproachable. They just seem like they don't take crap from anyone, and being a guy, I like to tease a flirt but with some women it doesn't go over well. Plus I feel like they expect a certain amount of confidence.0 -
I feel like they expect a certain amount of confidence.
Isn't that the first rule on the PUA books/websites, lol, develop an air of confidence? Kills the ladies every time!
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I find strong women to be incredibly sexy, but they just seem much more unapproachable.
Thanks for the answer! So where's the line between letting the guy know she's interested (to overcome the unapproachable thing) and being too overbearing?0 -
I am as guilty as anyone about using general labels but guess I would need a general consensus as to what qualifies one as a "strong woman" or "not so strong".Strong women have got higher standards, so why even try! We can roughly evaluate our self worth, and the (perhaps unrealistic?) expectation that a person has of us.
So, guys, what expectations do you feel a "strong women" has for you that a "not so strong" woman might not have?
Feel free to jump in, folks, but my general impression is that women are thought of as 'strong' if they: appear to be confident in themselves, are independent in terms of taking care of themselves/being competent to handle situations, and are openly intelligent (particularly if they offer opinions and ideas in conversation, rather than relying on small talk). Financial security, being a 'caretaker' in some way, and a career path they are committed to often come into the mix as well, to a greater or lesser degree. Often 'strong' women appear (NB I didn't say 'are', just 'appear') to be less emotional than a 'less-strong' woman, and can be perceived as being less feminine as a result. That said, some of the strongest older women I know are among the frilliest as well, so appearances can be deceiving! Is that a reasonable, generalised description?0 -
Feel free to jump in, folks, but my general impression is that women are thought of as 'strong' if they: appear to be confident in themselves, are independent in terms of taking care of themselves/being competent to handle situations, and are openly intelligent (particularly if they offer opinions and ideas in conversation, rather than relying on small talk). Financial security, being a 'caretaker' in some way, and a career path they are committed to often come into the mix as well, to a greater or lesser degree. Often 'strong' women appear (NB I didn't say 'are', just 'appear') to be less emotional than a 'less-strong' woman, and can be perceived as being less feminine as a result. That said, some of the strongest older women I know are among the frilliest as well, so appearances can be deceiving! Is that a reasonable, generalised description?
To me that is what I would consider a normal lady and what I would want so would not be intimidated in the least.
I would think her expectations of me would be about the same and that is not an issue either.
After that it would be a matter of seeing if overall personalities meshed.0 -
I would think that if a woman is actually strong and confident than she would just approach me if she is interested. But that never happens. It doesn't take much to let a guy know you're interested. Eye contact, smile, say hi, whatever. I have no problem approaching someone if they show even the slightest bit of interest, but I won't approach anyone that doesn't.I find strong women to be incredibly sexy, but they just seem much more unapproachable.
Thanks for the answer! So where's the line between letting the guy know she's interested (to overcome the unapproachable thing) and being too overbearing?
See, men want to be the man in the relationship, and if a woman is overly confident and comes on too strong it takes away the challenge. I like a little bit of a challenge, but I hate wasting my time on someone who is probably out of my league.0 -
Random:
Even though I've seen this topic for days, for some reason I just glanced at the title and read it as "Women who are undulating"
LOL.0 -
I like a little bit of a challenge, but I hate wasting my time on someone who is probably out of my league.
It never occurred to me that someone might be "out of my league" so I'm struggling with this concept. How would a strong woman that is open to dating a "regular guy" show herself open? So "regular guys" then know she's not "out of their league?"
Edit: wow, I just re-read that... it sounds awfully vain. sorry. I'm not quite sure how to express it any other way.0 -
This topic caught my eye as I too could be considered a 'strong woman' simply because I am capable, independant, hardworking and willing to try pretty much anything. No such thing as a 'blue' or 'pink' task. I drive a 1 ton, take my kids into the bush for camping and fishing, drive a boat, ride a motorcycle. Do home repairs and renos all without blinking an eye.
On the other hand I am very feminine and a nurturer by nature (Nurse), and rather a big suck.
Point being is be who you are, enjoy your life, be open to romantic opportunities. SMILE!!! darn it!!!!:happy: Be approachable and be willing to approach. Yes, I too am single but in the mean time I really think worrying about it only puts up obstacles in your quest for that 'sweet spot'. Relax :smooched:0
