delaclos99 Member

Usually seeded wholemeal toast with Marmite peanut butter, scrambled egg on toast, boiled egg and soldiers or porridge with berries. Sunday is fried egg sandwich with cheddar. Most importantly, though, is my four cups of tea every morning.

Fish, wine, fancy cheese and Marmite crunchy peanut butter.

Toast slathered with a very generous amount of Marmite peanut butter.

Mayonnaise is the devil's jism and the foul, manky gunk ruins everything it touches. Any flavour of Jaffa cake other than orange is wrong. Especially pineapple and cherry. Stop faffing with a classic. Rich Tea biscuits are seriously underrated. They're not plain or bland, they are merely unfussy and all the better for it.…

Goose fat roast potatoes. The absolute best bit of any roast dinner

Strikes me that a lot depends on the trimmings here and what 'safe' means. Steamed veg, probably fine. Reasonable bit of leanish meat, again fibe. Oodles of roast potatoes, less fine although they bring a special joy that no amount of steamed broccoli can hope to replicate.

I really want a chippy tea now. Chips drowning in malt vinegar with plenty of salt, buttered roll on the side for a chip butty. The best things about my chippy are that they do scraps and even a small portion of chips will equate to about half a field of potatoes.

Baked camembert with bread and oodles of wine. Come autumn, though, I am definitely making a baked camembert pie, because what could be better than pastry and warm, gooey cheese... https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/baked-camembert-pie-sharing?amp

Builders, as the good lord intended.

That would the magical warm glow of contentment that a proper cup of tea brings to the soul. Not Lipton tea though, that stuff is unspeakable filth.

Butter. I'm not going to the trouble of making soda bread to befoul it with margarine.

Aperol and soda is my go-to at the moment, lower calories than the full spritz with prosecco.

Erdinger the best for me, although the Heineken isn't bad.

UK labels are governed by the EU food information to consumers regs, which sets out the coversion factors for the calorie calculations (e.g. fat = 9 calories/gram etc.). Article 31 explains the accepted approach, so it can factor in preparation such as cooking if instructions are given. I don't think there are tolerances…

Soda bread is divine.

Rarely have cereal these days but I am very partial to a Weetabix spread with butter.

Lamb, Barolo, Amedei chocolate.

Unless you are eating gold ingots, get thee to a doctor.

Builders, as the good lord intended.

Conference pears with a generous wedge of gorgonzola piccante.

Twinings English Breakfast. Boiling hot water, leave to steep for at least 3 minutes. Splash of whole or semi skimmed milk, drink and feel the world become a better place. Lipton's is the just the worst pish on the planet. Nothing worse than being in a hotel, asking for a cuppa and that insipid little bag turning up by a…

Also, you have to use white bread for a proper crisp sandwich or fishfinger sandwich. A white roll is also acceptable for a chip butty.

This. Gail's Bakery potato and rosemary sourdough is heaven in loaf form.

Very partial to a kangaroo steak, just a shame they're not always that easy to get in the UK. Less said about the cricket the better though.

Any relation to Sam Vimes?

This. Malt loaf (and toasted fruit loaf) are heavenly slathered with butter and accompanied by a cuppa.

No, proper cranberry sauce should include port at the bare minimum.

That canned thing. Good lord. Home made for me. Tiny knob of butter, add cranberries and stir then simmer down with little sugar and a very, very generous slosh of port.

Cheddar, Roquefort, brie, camembert, Stilton, Danish blue, parmesan, pecorino sardo, pecorino romano, feta, Stinking Bishop, goats cheese, Emmenthal, smoked Bavarian cheeses, red Leicester, Wensleydale - that's a half decent cheese board. Pretty much any cheese is a good thing.

People who jump queues. The hottest flames of hell are too good for such swines.