msty112 Member

A few of you have sent me messages checking up on me so I just wanted to check in really quick. I'm doing okay, therapy is really helping me. I've realized that MFP is not a safe place for me right now so I've decided to step away from it. Calorie counting and weighing/logging food are not good for my obsessive mentality.…

I know I really under ate yesterday though because I was at my friends funeral all day.

Ate 4 candy bars earlier while grocery shopping. Disappointed that I caved.

Ozzie Pawsborne!!! I'm dying over here! Best name ever! Welcome Jacki!

Still having a rough time dealing with the death of my friend. He had a sudden heart attack at the age of 34. A wife with a husband who isn't coming home and 2 daughters with a daddy who won't be there to see them they grow. Just cannot grasp that he is no longer with us and I can't call him to say hello or send him funny…

Got some really bad news about a friend passing away last night and I'm currently 3 chocolate bars into a binge.

Have you ever consider taking a break from the scale for awhile? I really think it is something that has helped me. We went out for icecream last night and I felt extremely anxious about it so afterwards I came home and ate 3 big spoonfuls of peanutbutter. I was able to stop before it turned into a full binge. Still a…

Although I am proud of myself for going 9 days without a binge and not binging is important to me, binging is not the biggest issue in my case. I don't want to get back in a restricting cycle, trading one ED for another is not the solution. My main goals in this fight are: eat what I want to eat but only when I'm hungry…

I read this about a mouth ago and found it terrible. It basically encourages you to label your inner binge eating voice as "the pig" and refer to all your trigger foods as "pig slop". It was a very negative approach to me.

I haven't binged in 9 days but I'm having terrible anxiety about food lately. Everything I eat I feel like " I shouldn't have eaten that" anything from fruit to nuts to cheese and even if I'm hungry. I think in stems from the fact that I'm not tracking calories or weighing food right now. I kind of feel like I'm slipping…

I know the cost seems like a lot right now and can be stressful but you need to look at the long term gain from it. Also consider the long term costs to your health of continuing your life with ED. I know you are functioning NOW with ED but what happens if you start your career and become and the disorder starts to affect…

I am doing ok this week. Haven't binged since last Wednesday and have been sticking to my new coping mechanisms when I have the urge. It's been a stressful week but I'm handling it. Going to my in laws for the weekend, which will be rough. Their house is typically full of trigger foods for me and they are big food pushers.

I'm sorry but I agree with this also. I really hope you take the treatment. I know it's not what you want or what you think you need but I'm certain they have there reasoning for recommending that level of treatment. Please don't doom yourself into believing you can not overcome this. I believe that you can. Do this before…

I know the weight gain sucks and you are desperate to see change but please, please reconsider trying to lose the weight fast. I've been on that side of the coin too and you won't like what happens to your body when undereating. You can screw up your body big time and when your hair starts falling out you won't be happy.…

I had a really good second session today. We really got down to business and talking about my episodes. Came up with a couple ways to relieve my stress when I'm feeling the need to binge. I've realized that when I am in a binging mood, I can't eat even one bite of anything, nothing. One bite, one cookie, one chip always…

Sorry I haven't been around the past few days. Kind of had a rock bottom moment on Wednesday. I was binging and stuffing my face with everything in the kitchen and my toddler walked in. She asked if she could have a bite of the peanut butter I was scarfing down and I yelled at her. Legitemately screamed at my child and…

I'm having a rough day. Not food wise but mentally draining. Had our second appointment at the fertility specialist and things weren't super encouraging. My husband's side of things is great so the problem definitely lies with me, which we pretty much knew since I haven't ovulated in 8 months (sorry if that's TMI) Of…

Why?!?! Why?!?! Why?!?! Don't say you weren't warned. Sugar free is bad news. @daniellethesheep Dorm life is hard on diet. Easy access to so much food and most of it is junk. Unfortunately in my experience, ridding the house of trigger food doesn't help me. There will always be a way to get my hands on it if I'm desperate…

Gorgeous family! Glad you are enjoying yourself. You are going to need a vacation to recover from your vacation.

Sloth is correct. I really don't feel like reliving my past is going to help at this time, I understand that it is a process and that is part of their way of trying to figure things out though. If I continue to feel like the sessions are going nowhere, I will definately speak up. It's a waste of both of our time if it's…

First treatment session was this afternoon. The woman was super nice and it felt good to talk about things, didn't get to talk a whole lot about what is currently going on because we were discussing a lot of history and things. Wasn't a super helpful session for me and I'm a bit skeptical if it will work for me. Came home…

Where is the do over button???

This was an awful experience for me. The stomach cramps, the gas, the rumbling noises and about 14 hours in the bathroom. Lesson learned. When I went to buy candy to replace my dads stash I looked at the package and in fine print on the back it does state that over consumption could lead to laxative effects. I did go and…

Bingeing big right now. So frustrating!! Not sugar free candy though...

Irish, my husband says this too.

Never, ever again will I eat sugar free candy. EVER!! UGH!

Hmmm I will have to go check this out. I had no idea that sugar substitutes had this effect, then again I don't think I've ever had "sugar free" candy before. I was craving something sweet and it was all I could find in my parents house. It didn't even taste good, but you know how it goes, once you start...

I think it is a valid suggestion and is worth giving a try. Though I don't have the history you so with eating disorders, I also get stuck in the binge and restrict cycle of eating. I have a feeling my appointment on Monday will yield a similar suggestion. We also have similar stats. I'm 5'4 and at my last weigh in almost…

Unfortunately I did not know this and am currently experiencing the violent after effects... I will now consult with you before bingeing.

Thanks Ab! I'm trying to breathe and not dig myself any deeper. Sad thing is I ate my dad's sugar free candy stash so now I have to shamefully explain myself and buy him more.