sabes2631

No- I think i said it wrong.., I am not doing low carb - low fat... I just try to keep to my numbers... But when I go over my carbs it shows immediately in my belly... I do just watch my numbers:) I have to get back on this train... it IS a slippery slope.... BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

THANKS:wink: im good:) I am back and forth of course. The logistics of it all coming to a head bring up the raw feelings I had back when it started, but I am stronger now. I have great people to support me and I run ALOT. Its amazing what this year has brought... I also got a layoff notice at work - so this is the "How…

I knew I was looking at about 350 cals - but 500? and 80 carbs? at least i enjoyed it... i usually get the wake up wrap with egg only - its crappy but low cal and the egg gives some protein... I am not working out because I ran a 1/2 marathon yesterday - but i also celebrated with a picnic and coors lite... so i way over…

Thanks:) I plan for some whole wheat pasta chicken and broccoli over today and throughout tomorrow. Then oatmeal in the morning with bananas. That worked for the marathon. I ran the Disney Marathon in Jan. --- I have not trained as hard for this one. For the marathon I was pretty exact to the Hal Higdon. I have slacked for…

i like it there and i never ever go on pizza or bagel day. they have my favorite machine that is an ab twist which works your core muscles front and back.... i like it better than WOW gym due to the lack of gym meat heads... although i do miss the spin classes at the other gym. they both have their plus and minues.

yay! bayou!!! super fun:) Thank you Pheonix... you are right. It does get better each day - i cannot believe I went away this weekend and didnt even think about him - and when i did I thought of him with eww- jerk - feeling rather than angst or desire or desperation for that matter. Dating is a great distraction. Met a…

I am actually doing okay. I am beginning to live again. Had a date. Felt good to be told I was beautiful and to be desired. I have been doing alot of strength training at the gym - that has helped my mood. It has been quite a journey - the sucking feeling of angst and loss isnt as strong in the morning when I open my eyes.…

ah yes- apparently i can eat again - but whoa - at a price - my body has no idea what to do with wings a burger ad french fries and beer and cold pizza - i had a date yesterday and we sat in a bar and watched hockey - it was fun- but my body that at one [oint was in starvation mode after all of this - is in shock... I had…

furthermore - i still cry everyday almost - but i have GOT to take control of this. I love him more than anything in the world, but enough already. I am a human being as well. And I need to live.

4 months... you are a newbie too... it sucks! but thank you for your encouragement! I sont know what the crying is - i do know that I found a boy toy at the gym and being skinny and tan in february has worked out fabulously for me:) I cannot sit home and cry and wait anymore... i am hot and I am ready to make out:) lol

actually it went really well. i was really anxious all day. but i was cooking a piece of chicken when he got there and he brought a 6 pack. we talked for about 3 hours. he cried. talked about the therapy he is in. i listened. I didnt cry that much (i am about 20 session ahead of him) - we agreed that i will stay in the…

Mexico was fun:) Weather was iffy - but still got tan.. and looked fab in my bikini - will post a pic:) The nightmare still lives on here. I feel I am doing better with no contact. But we have to meet up tonight to discuss finances and stuff. I want to keep my home - well becasue how can he take that from me too? But…

Not yet.... Having a bad day. This girl sent me two messages on facebook at 5am on Sunday morning, but must have changed her mind cuz they came in blank. I told my ex to tell her to leave me alone - i am not playing games with her. She told him that she had a notification that I had tagged a pic or something of her and…

i see my groove... its def somewhere in mexico. lol - ill find it - no doubt and how gooooood it will be.

When I was in the stage you are in, I did not think I could survive. I couldnt breathe, or eat or stop crying. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning. Thank you for saying that.... i like that it is just beginning. I am 35 and my future is a big fat unknown. Its amazing and unfortunate at times that this feeling…

you are right... the house is a tough one.... i dont want to give it up - but it was our dream. It is on the water, so it is hard for me to walk away from. I cant make any decisions right now i guess. I am going out tonight. I have plans during the day tomorrow. I am going out tomorrow night. Superbowl plans on sunday...…

maybe i need a tiny new tattoo. one on my right foot. shrink down the paw print of my lab that passed away - just a tiny little one. to remind me to just be. my new start. MINE.

i am not quite that ready yet. i will be though.

I think the letting go is beginning. I sent him an email last night telling him i cannot be hurt anymore. I need to move on with my life. To please just put the divorce on the back burner, not because I am in denial, but I need to stand up and brush off first. I will not contact him today. I am leaving for mexico next week…

i need to stop. i emailed him asking him if he was sure he wanted to go down this road. with having to divide everything up - our life - giving our financials to someone to divvy up. proving who paid what for our house... it is all so scary. how could he want this. i am a hot mess today. i go from angry. to wanting him, to…

i do. and apparently he did too since he turned mean all of a sudden. he is furious with me - accusing me of ruining him professionally and personally because it got out in his high school where he teaches after i posted a pic on facebook of his stuff on the lawn. i took the pic down, but all of a sudden i am THE VILLIAN.

Did I tell you guys I am going to mexico next week? Just me and my girlfriend from high school? I will be away for valentines day- straight gift from God. My hub actually has villianized me. Texted me tonight accusing me of messing with his credit cuz when he went to get off of the verison family plan, they needed to check…

i just spoke with him he is so cold. moving forward with divorce. feels nothing. leaves me bleeding. has nothing to say. is angry i outed him on facebook.

it felt good to throw his stuff out on the lawn. he is playing victim and is angry with me becasue everybody knows now. i cried already on the phone becasue i dont want this - but what could i possibly want from him now????????????????// he is nothing and has nothing to give. i hate this feeling. i just was feeling good…

i feel like i want to just curl up and die right now. its amazing that this actually wont kill me. cuz it feels like dying. and now that i posted his embarrassment on facebook, he feels "doubly" inclined to get a divorce. and because i was irrational taking money from his account - he thought i stole it - but i didnt - i…

he left me on friday. and went to take her out. i found out on monday. moved all the money in our accounts to my account. and threw the rest of his stuff on the front lawn. then i posted it on facebook. he is mad at ME becasue he doesnt want to lose his job. i need to let go. he is not a nice guy. he is a bad dude... not…

dammit - i let myself get hurt again by this! i based my new found strength on a false hope that we would be together again.

Today started out so well - then I come home and I am so lonely. It sucks. I just want him home.

i have hope because you worked it out.... a book to check out that was written by my therapist is called Shadow Marriage. It is interesting. Worth ordering for your future. Thank you for hope. My hub has been gone for longer. I found out about it all 1 month ago today. I am still alive.

LOVING THE PLAY LIST - cheater cheater is a great song too.... Thanks for saying i am strong. Most of the time i dont feel strong, i sometimes feel like a piece of sh** who was dumped for a 25 year old. But those sometimes are becoming less frequent. I AM strong. I will survive. ALthough it sucks. I will. Today I have this…