Adultery Diet

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  • mmtiernan
    mmtiernan Posts: 702 Member
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    Speaking of which, that is a GREAT song to listen to right now. Gloria Gaynor, I believe. Another good one you should search up is "Cheater Cheater" by Joey + Rory. It's country and hysterical. Listen to Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walking". Listen to music that reminds you how strong you are!!! There was a YOU before him, and there will be a YOU after him.

    Add these two to your playlist also: "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood and "Would I Lie To You?" by Annie Lennox (my personal fave).

    Even though it may not always feel like it, you are getting stronger every day. Keep your chin up and remember that any man who is really worth it will never make you cry.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    Here's a sampling of my playlist from my hard times:

    Karma - Alicia Keys
    The Last Song - All American Rejects
    Move Long - All American Rejects
    Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
    I'm Looking Through You -- The Beatles
    Hit 'Em Upstyle - Blu Cantrell
    Karma is a Female Dog - Bombshel (I think this one is country, btw)
    It's My Life - Bon Jovi
    Rain on Your Parade - Duffy
    Sisters Are Doing it for Themselves - Graham BLVD
    So Yesterday - Hilary Duff
    The Remedy - Jason Mraz
    Bye Bye - Jo Dee Messina **** GREAT SONG!!
    Stronger - Kayne West
    Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
    Welcome to the World - Kevin Rudolph
    Knock 'em Out - Lily Allen
    No More Sorrow - Linkin Park
    Good as Gone -- Little Big Town
    Shake it Off - Mariah Carey
    These Boots are Made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra
    Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield
    Maneater - Nelly Furtado
    Blue Monday - Orgy (angry music!!)
    Cave In - Owl City
    So What - Pink
    Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's
    Happily Never After - The Pu$$ycat Dolls **** GREAT SONG!!!
    I Don't Need a Man - The Pu$$ycat Dolls
    Whatever Gets You Through Today - Radio **** GREAT SONG
    Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
    Up - The Saturdays
    Don't Bother - Shakira ***
    Irreplaceable - Sugarland --(This is a cover of the Beyonce song by Sugarland --- the lead female vocal was going through a divorce when she recorded this live. AMAZING COVER)
    I Will Survive - Supremes (???)
    Live Your Life - TI feat. Rihanna
    Apologize - One Republic
    Learning to Fly - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
    Can't Go Back Now - The Weepies ******* I LOVE THIS SONG
    I Didn't Know My Own Strength - Whitney Houston
    Salute - Whitney Houston
    Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers


    Some of those are about cheating husbands. Some of those are upbeat, empowerment songs. Keep positive vibes surrounding you during this. Remind yourself you are strong. :flowerforyou:
  • jenng38
    jenng38 Posts: 105
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    Hey Sabes...
    All I can say is WOW! you are awesome. you are a powerful amazingly strong woman. like so many here I have been through it too. I have been divorced for 4 years. he left me 5 years ago for the person that he cheated on me with. now, along with family and friends of course, there is one statement that got me through...SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE!!! about 2 years ago I decided to go back to school and I am about to get my associates degree in psychology and I will have my bachelor's in another 2 years. Trust me...any and every success that you achieve will add to your power and NO ONE will ever be able to take it away from you. I know it totally sucks right now but when you are through it you will be better and stronger for it. I am really proud of you for running that race despite your heartache. Keep up the great work you're awesome!!
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    LOVING THE PLAY LIST -

    cheater cheater is a great song too....

    Thanks for saying i am strong. Most of the time i dont feel strong, i sometimes feel like a piece of sh** who was dumped for a 25 year old. But those sometimes are becoming less frequent.
    I AM strong.
    I will survive.
    ALthough it sucks. I will.

    Today I have this sinking feeling of hurt in my chest that makes it hard to breathe and stand up straight. My arms ache. I ache.
    My office mate puts homeade soup in the fridge for me each morning. I think the feeling in my arms is malnutrition.
    I am drinking water. I had steamed broccoli and chicken last night.
    I had a box of raisins this morning - simply because my body was so hungry I was having trouble functioning.
    I feel better after eating the soup.
    I have dropped to 118. I was at 134-6 on Christmas Day.

    The positive thing is that mt *kitten* looks fabulous... I have never seen it look so tiny and cute. LOL I bought a new bikini - BTW- I am off to Mexico with my best girlfriend in 2 weeks and 1 day. My Valentine will be my mexican beach waiter...


    ANd you know what - wont he be sorry when he sees me out and i look so fab.
    Somewhere in this journey that HAS GOT to happen for me. There has to be some freaking redemption for all of this pain, right???????????????
  • stephjohnny
    stephjohnny Posts: 42 Member
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    I went through the same thing about 5 months ago. My hubby just up and left me one day due to the affair. I feel your pain and reading your story brings back a flood of emotions for me. Hubby and have worked it out, but during the 9 days he was gone, I dropped 10 pounds. It's hard, but you will get through it. Just keep on keeping on...
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    i have hope because you worked it out....
    a book to check out that was written by my therapist is called Shadow Marriage.
    It is interesting.
    Worth ordering for your future.
    Thank you for hope.
    My hub has been gone for longer. I found out about it all 1 month ago today.
    I am still alive.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    When I got divorced, a good friend told me "The best revenge is living well". She was so right, whenever I had to be around him, I made sure I looked good and made a point to mention my successes. That in turn made me feel successful....and he didn't like it:smile:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
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    Sabes,

    More good thoughts coming your way from the Pacific NW.

    One other thing that I've found to be (almost) universally true:

    "IF HE CHEATED ON YOU HE'LL CHEAT ON HER." :devil: ( and the one after her.........etc.......... )

    ( I know I'm going to He!! for that, but it's gonna be a great party.) :tongue:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    LOVING THE PLAY LIST -

    cheater cheater is a great song too....

    Thanks for saying i am strong. Most of the time i dont feel strong, i sometimes feel like a piece of sh** who was dumped for a 25 year old. But those sometimes are becoming less frequent.
    I AM strong.
    I will survive.
    ALthough it sucks. I will.
    He didn't leave you for a 25 year old.
    He left you because a part of him is screwed up badly. He won't be able to fix that wrongness with her either.
    He left you for his own selfish reasons. He cheated on you. He treated you horribly.
    You are far more valuable than that.
    Do not beg for him back.
    You do not NEED him. You have yourself. You are strong enough to be your own person.
    Really question yourself -- why do you want him back? Is it him or just the position he filled in your life? Don't let fear make you think you NEED him. You don't.

    Today I have this sinking feeling of hurt in my chest that makes it hard to breathe and stand up straight. My arms ache. I ache.
    My office mate puts homeade soup in the fridge for me each morning. I think the feeling in my arms is malnutrition.
    I am drinking water. I had steamed broccoli and chicken last night.
    I had a box of raisins this morning - simply because my body was so hungry I was having trouble functioning.
    I feel better after eating the soup.
    I have dropped to 118. I was at 134-6 on Christmas Day.
    I think you've started to realize it, but it took me a week to realize my physical pain was mostly due to malnutrition. Yes, emotional pain hurts too, but starvation hurts also. I'm glad to hear you are eating. A slow start back will ease your body back into it.
    The positive thing is that mt *kitten* looks fabulous... I have never seen it look so tiny and cute. LOL I bought a new bikini - BTW- I am off to Mexico with my best girlfriend in 2 weeks and 1 day. My Valentine will be my mexican beach waiter...
    WOOHOO!!!! That sounds like SOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!
  • jenng38
    jenng38 Posts: 105
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    Vicky, I have noticed that too...my ex did not seem to like it when I went back to school :grumble: hahaha and I love how your friend said that living well is the best revenge. it kind of brings "success " one step further because living well IS success in itself. Thank goodness for our friends. I don't know how I would have gotten through that if it weren't for my friends and family.
  • mtfisherwoman
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    I am so sorry! What an aweful experience! But don't let the cheating slob pull you down! You are better than that!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    I don't know how I would have gotten through that if it weren't for my friends and family.

    AMEN!
  • DebbieW
    DebbieW Posts: 187
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    Sabes, I hope that you are really "hearing" what all the women are saying to you on this thread.

    The common theme:

    You are amazing
    You are strong
    He doesn't deserve to have you
    He didn't leave you for a 25 year old, he left you because he's screwed up in the head.
    He will do this to her too or she's gonna do it to him
    DON'T BEG FOR HIM TO COME BACK

    Your best revenge is success!

    Sabes, the first time that we "had:" to be in the same place at the same time, I made damned sure that my hair and nails were done perfectly. I was wearing the hottest :"little" outfit I could find, my skirt was short and my legs were long. I was wearing sexy heels too. I came into the room full of confidence. The kicker
    I didn't even pay him an ounce of attention. I made sure that he knew that he was OFF MY LIST.

    You have a blast in Mexico with your girlfriend, your smaller *kitten* (and the Mexican waiter).

    You deserve this!

    Debbie
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
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    MSN is all about divorce on one of their Hot Topics. Here's the "Divorcing a Cheater?" section :wink:

    http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/DivorcingACheaterGetMoreMoney.
    aspx


    The excerpts are from:

    http://msn.divorce360.com/

    You deserve what you can get. Take care of your financial future. Otherwise you could spend years digging out of this. No mercy. :mad:

    _______________________________________________________________________
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    :heart:
    When I got divorced, a good friend told me "The best revenge is living well". She was so right, whenever I had to be around him, I made sure I looked good and made a point to mention my successes. That in turn made me feel successful....and he didn't like it:smile:

    Honey you and your DH are living proof that living well after a divorce will lead to true happiness:heart:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    I went through infidelity and abuse from my husband, and if anything, it made me eat more because I was self-medicating with food. Since I've left him, I'm a much saner and happier person. You will get through it and come out OK- and he'll be left wondering why he messed up his life like that.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    :heart:
    When I got divorced, a good friend told me "The best revenge is living well". She was so right, whenever I had to be around him, I made sure I looked good and made a point to mention my successes. That in turn made me feel successful....and he didn't like it:smile:

    Honey you and your DH are living proof that living well after a divorce will lead to true happiness:heart:

    Thank you Jeannie.... I like to think so. He is my reward for having gone through a bad marriage :smile:
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
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    <HUG> I am speechless. I have been there before and its nothing like feeling betrayed and like your life is in shambles. MFP gave some good advice. Just know that you have us to turn to! By nature, you are a survivor - this too shall pass!
  • MrsG12345
    MrsG12345 Posts: 10 Member
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    I also know EXACTLY what you (and others who have posted) have gone through or are going through! My dr called it the "divorce diet," but the "adultery diet" is MUCH more severe and difficult! I don't care why kind of relationship you had or thought you had with your spouse, no matter what, it is a DEVASTATING BLOW to find out your spouse has done that to you. NO ONE can understand the pain unless they've been through it themselves. I had already been losing weight (trying - eating right, exercising, etc) BEFORE I found out about the affair but lost even MORE weight after that, putting me about 10 pounds below my original goal. I couldn't eat. I was already on antidepressants and my dr added another one, which helped TREMENDOUSLY! I know some people don't believe in antidepressants, but it worked WONDERS for me... and when I got to a better point emotionally, I weaned myself off of the second one. Eventually, I became STRONGER and did very well on my own! Being a single parent wasn't easy, but I did it! I started going out with my new "sexy" self! ;-) I am now remarried to the most awesome man on earth. Of course, I gained back all of the weight plus more after I met my now DH. So now I'm on the road to losing again. I have actually had TWO men cheat on me - the only two real relationships I ever had prior to my now DH. My ex-h and ex-b both cheated on me and it was devastating and painful both times. I don't wish that on ANYONE. It did finally get me out of 2 bad relationships, though. And if it hadn't been for that, I might not appreciate what I have now. For that, I feel fortunate and blessed. For those that are going through the pain of adultery right now, HANG ON... YOU WILL COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, although it doesn't seem possible at this point. I felt like I just wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE. Obviously, I pulled through and am thoroughly blessed now! You can too!!!! And one of the advantages of being a female, you always have GIRLFRIENDS to help you through difficult times! I have the most awesome friend in the world who helped pull me through everything I went through in the past. In fact, she has kind of commented that she feels a little sad now that I don't constantly "need" her anymore now that I have found "THE ONE!" ;-) (I was calling her probably at least every other day complaining/crying/whatever before). And if you don't have any friends like that "in real life," I see that there are amazing ladies here for support!! :-)
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    Today started out so well - then I come home and I am so lonely.
    It sucks.
    I just want him home.