Adultery Diet

sabes2631

I found out on December 26 that my husband was having an affair. Since then I have lost 16 pounds in less than 3 weeks. I cannot eat. I had to puree carbs protien and fruit to suck it down during the 2 weeks prior to running my WDW marathon. I ran it in under 6 hours with a broken soul. But I did it.
Now I am at my goal weight. I am unhealthy and weak because I just ended up here without eating - i basically starved myself through emotional NON eating - which is the opposite of me.
I am not quite back to eating. I walk around like i have a sucker punch to the gut and a hole in my chest. Chewing food makes me gag.

I do not want to gain it all back, but I want to eat. I cant eat though.
The dr. put me on Lexapro to keep me from sinking into a pit of darkness.

Having an unfaithful spouse is the worst thing that I have ever experienced. Everyone tells me I am strong and will make it through. But right now I dont feel so strong. I feel sick and weak.

1Corinthians13

I know exactly how you feel. I went through this same thing just about at the same time you did last year. Only the whole thing had started in June. I finally found out the truth and left by January of last year. I lost lots of weight. I couldn't eat. I spent my evenings curled up in a ball with the TV on but paying no attention. I was miserable.

I know you don't want to eat...or can't. But find something, anything. don't worry about being healthy right now. The only thing I could eat for a long time were sour cream and onion chips. Awful, I know, but for whatever reason, that was my comfort food. When my mom went through her divorce, all she could eat was pasta with butter and parm cheese. We both did not gain that weight back.

Find your comfort food and eat it. Worry right now about your emotional stability. Focus on what you need to do for you - financially, spiritually, emotionally...you're going through a LOT right now, and it's overwhelming.

IMO, I don't think you need to worry about being healthy right now. You need to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe see a psychologist. Sleep. Eat. Drink water. One minute at a time. You will get through this. I did, and believe me, I didn't think it would happen.

Kittany

As a woman you know my opinion of your Husband. As a woman you know I would also tell you the same things your friends told you. But, I will tell you that as a woman, you are AMAZING. The fact that you are TRYING to keep it together when it is next to impossible proves exactly what your friends have told you. You WILL get through this, fighting and screaming the whole way that might be, but you are doing it. Out of all of this, just remember that you ARE better than him. In every conceivable way. You are better than he is. And as far as I am concerned, now one of the bravest women I know.

sabes2631

I AM brave dammit.
I AM still alive.
I AM better than him because I would NEVER EVER have done what he chose to do.


I AM BRAVE I AM BRAVE I AM BRAVE I AM BRAVE

dballard

I went through the same thing 5 years ago .. my wife was cheating like crazy. we divorced and i starved myself for a while but then i gained all that plus some after i started eating again .. so make sure you at least eat something so that you can stay healthy . I hope everything works out for the best.

fortiter00

A close friend just went through a divorce due to her ex being an alcoholic and an adulterer, just be really glad you didn't have the kids you mentioned trying for in your profile He obviously doesn't deserve you. You are brave and will be better off without him. Best of luck.

AnneElise

You have a right to feel weak and upset! BUT you have to know that you will get through this and that there are so many people (all your family and friends) that love you. You know that you have a problem with eating... thats a step... soon you will be able to eat again and you can become healthier. Give yourself time. YOU ROCK!

routsongk

Your life as you knew it is over. It's okay to mourn for a while, but TAKE YOUR POWER BACK! Food has no power. Your husband has no power YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER!

missyjane

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I've been there and it is rough, but I survived and moved on to SOOOOO much better things. You will too. For now, just do what you need to do to take care of yourself and remember that it is perfectly ok to let others take care of you as well.

aggie04chic

You are not just brave, you are brave, beautiful, and amazing! And you will get your power back!

jillr

I went through the same thing 8 years ago. I would gag on food. The only food I could get down was instant oatmeal. Think about it..8 years. There is life on the other side. It will take a little while, but you WILL get there. No doubt about it, adultery sucks. Good for you for getting on an antidepressant. Hopefully it will take the edge off like it did for me. I didn't need it forever, but it helped when I needed it the most. I would also recommend a good therapist. Therapy isn't weakness, it's about finding your strength. As cheesy as it sounds, I had good friend who put the lyrics to "I Will Survive" under my desk blotter at work. I read them over and over when I needed a boost. I can't believe you ran a marathon! That, right there, is a testament to your strength. You have some bad days ahead, but better times are coming. I promise. Sooner than you think.

amielp

well its happened to many folks. I know that's no consulation but one way to deal with it is to get into an exercise regime. You will find it helps tremendously. When the same thing happened to me I couldn't eat, and couldn't sleep. so I got in the habit of getting up early and running. I started counting calories, paying attention to what I ate and i found out that the emotional weight loss actually kick started my fitness program. It was the silver lining in the cloud. While I was running I had time to think and sort things out. The big decision you face is to forgive or divorce. And noone can tell you what to do. But you will know. A lot depends on his attitude. But do know that this experience will make you a stronger person and you will get enormous support from your friends. Keep the weight off by starting to exercise and you will turn a miserable event in your life into a milestone that marks a turhning point for you. GOOD LUCK!

KendalBeee

I found out December 13th my husband cheated on me. And on Christmas Eve I found the full extent of his multiple online affairs. I don't need to post all the details...

My eating habits haven't really changed much. There were a couple days where I wasn't that hungry and didn't really feel like eating but I did anyways. I'm not an emotional eater I guess....I used to eat when I was bored, thats part of the reason I'm so overweight now. But now that he's realized the extent of what he's done, he's losing weight because he's not eating.

Its hard. I am living with my parents while he's still in our house. He's supposedly trying to find a job in his hometown and move out but I don't know how much longer that will take. Then we are going to sell the house. Right now I'm staying in a spare guest room at my parents' house.

There will be days where you can be rational and handle things without emotion and then there are days where every little thing will make you burst into tears. It really is just one day at a time...one minute at a time....



Although I will say when I was pissed off and wanted to beat him and his wh**** in the face, I put all the energy into my workout and exhausted myself so that by the time I got off the elliptical, I was too tired to be angry anymore.

jaycee76

Right now it feels like the worst thing ever. I know, I have been there too. But lets look at something a bit positive...... You now are the weight you wanted and he ain't gettin non of the hot sexy you!! Lol
My advice would be to try slimmimg shakes full of vitamins etc if you cannot eat (not to slim but to replace not eating so drink more iygwim) when you start getting your appetite back just try to keep your calorie intake steady or you will end up piling it back on really quick like I did!

Good luck. I know you probably don't want to hear this but there will be a Hot new guy around that corner! I am in a amazing place now that I never imagined when I was where you are now. Keep positive!

happylb

I've never been in this situation myself, but my heart goes out to all of you who have. No one deserves this.

Phoenix_Rising

I am not going into details, but I will say I've been there, Sabes. "Hard" doesn't begin to describe the pain.

I couldn't eat either. I gagged with every bite. I forced myself to eat three protein bars a day. It would literally take me 2-3 hours to eat each. It was horrible. My friends kept close tabs on me, making sure I was eating something, and I was honest with them about what I did eat. I lost 10 lbs that first week alone.

I decided that I had to start eating again. I knew myself well enough that if I let it go too long, I would form an eating disorder. I slowly began eating more and more, easing back into reasonable amounts of food.

Time will heal you honey. And waiting for time to pass sucks. Go see a therapist. You will benefit tenfold from talking with a sympathetic, educated ear. The anti-depressant helps to take the edge off, but you have to deal with those raw emotions to move past this, in my opinion.

Look at high calorie protein bars. While you are eating them, focus some of your emotion into an angry, "I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, DAMMIT" attitude and feed your poor body. Malnutrition will only make you weak physically, which won't help your mental status either.

This is prime time to take care of yourself, mind & body & soul.

PM me if you want to talk more. :flowerforyou:

cmriverside

When I saw your title to this post, I just got that old sinking feeling, because before I even opened the post, I knew what you meant.

I've also been there, along with all the women who have posted here, and many more who just can't post because of the pain.

It is, as several have said, minute-by-minute sometimes. Time doesn't pass quickly enough.

But it will get better.

There is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening, and it is not your fault. A cheater will cheat no matter who he or she is with. Don't blame yourself or question what you could have done to prevent this - there is nothing you could have done differently. It is him. Not you. YOU did nothing wrong.

Please try to take care of yourself, don't become isolated. Come here and talk whenever you need to, we will be here.

Like Phoenix Rising, send me a personal message if you need to talk or hear from one who's been there.

shaggys

Hey!You made it through the absolute coldest marathon in Disney history!(I've run it twice)
Try to think positive,run it out of your system,register for another marathon -or better yet an ultra-in a different locale-you'll meet new people and maybe make new friends!
If you don' have children,leave now before it gets worse...if you do have kids,go talk to an attorney.Seperate your accounts,do what you have to do to protect yourself.
Keep drinking protein,and get mad,not sad!
Good luck,I will pray for you:flowerforyou:

sabes2631

i took him out of my profile pic. i put me in in my strongest moment ever - last sunday - finishing the WDW marathon with a broken soul, having lost 10 pounds because i couldnt eat.... But i did it!

Phoenix_Rising

i took him out of my profile pic. i put me in in my strongest moment ever - last sunday - finishing the WDW marathon with a broken soul, having lost 10 pounds because i couldnt eat.... But i did it!

'Atta girl!!! KEEP EMPOWERED. You can rise and overcome. We are here for you.

nolachick

I know exactly how you feel, I had a bf of 6 yrs break my heart 2 yrs ago and I couldn't eat, sleep or think straight for months.
But lemme get back to you and just say DAMN! YOU LOOK AWESOME! U ARE AWESOME! wtf was his problem?
anyways, just try to find something u like to eat like maybe baked potato, fries, anything kinda heavy that will keep ur body nourished. It's easy to let urself go in these times and lose weight in an unhealthy way.

My adultery diet? working out 2x a day for 5 days and eating 3 healthy meals a day and getting LOTS OF SLEEP. Just didn't wanna be awake to think I guess, or to feel for that matter. Good news is you will get over it, even tho right now you feel like you are in a big hole that you can't come out of. It'll get better, I promise.