Adultery Diet

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  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    Not yet....
    Having a bad day.
    This girl sent me two messages on facebook at 5am on Sunday morning, but must have changed her mind cuz they came in blank. I told my ex to tell her to leave me alone - i am not playing games with her. She told him that she had a notification that I had tagged a pic or something of her and that she was just looking for that. Which is total BS - she is playing games with him. I have no patience. This is MY life. My well being. My marriage. My husband. My home. And she is playing High School bull$hit games?
    Um no - if he doesnt tell her to knock it off, I will. I am done. I am struggling to keep my head above water, I certainly do not need her harrassing me on top of it.
  • cvtga
    cvtga Posts: 118
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    Not yet....
    Having a bad day.
    This girl sent me two messages on facebook at 5am on Sunday morning, but must have changed her mind cuz they came in blank. I told my ex to tell her to leave me alone - i am not playing games with her. She told him that she had a notification that I had tagged a pic or something of her and that she was just looking for that. Which is total BS - she is playing games with him. I have no patience. This is MY life. My well being. My marriage. My husband. My home. And she is playing High School bull$hit games?
    Um no - if he doesnt tell her to knock it off, I will. I am done. I am struggling to keep my head above water, I certainly do not need her harrassing me on top of it.

    What a pathetic woman. I am amazed that she would even have to nerve to try and contact you, it just goes to show you what a home wrecking hussy she is.
    If you haven't already you need to de-friend your husband so that she has no way to inch into your life.
    Not to long now before you can go to Mexico and be far away form these losers. Stay strong.
  • KendalBeee
    KendalBeee Posts: 2,269 Member
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    Not only de-friend them, but block them too! Both of them! you will be invisible to them. Also, go through your privacy settings and make sure that only your friends can see your information. If they try to get to you using another account, they won't be able to see much more than your profile pic and a few basic things. Its such a small task to do but it gives you such a feeling of empowerment and control. Its time to take back your life!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    Not only de-friend them, but block them too! Both of them! you will be invisible to them. Also, go through your privacy settings and make sure that only your friends can see your information. If they try to get to you using another account, they won't be able to see much more than your profile pic and a few basic things. Its such a small task to do but it gives you such a feeling of empowerment and control. Its time to take back your life!

    AGREED.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Sabes,

    Your story hits very close to home with me, and I have been where you are and felt all of the emotions you are feeling. I don't know you, but I wish I could give you a hug. All I can tell you is that you WILL be ok and you will be a better woman for all you are going through.

    I had only been married 8 months to my high school sweetheart and was 6 months pregnant with our second baby when I found out that my ex husband was having an affair. I was 21, she was 19.I had recently been laid off from my job which meant I had no money of my own and I had no idea what to do. I stayed with him because of our children but he wanted nothing to do with the baby on the way, refused to go to ultrasounds and Dr appointments and sat on the other side of the room watching football while I delivered her. I was so unhappy, I couldnt trust him and he made no effort to put things back together. One day I decided I was better than this...I DESERVED a happy life. So, I kicked himout . I had no money, no car,no job and 2 kids. It was the scariest thing I ever did, but also the best. I got a job 1 month later, went back to college and got a degree while still working full time, got an even better job where I have been promoted twice and lost 80 pounds. I also met a good man about 4.5 years ago who treats me like a queen and loves my kids.

    Do you know how my ex husband ended up?He's been living in his parents' basement since the day I kicked him out almost 8 years ago. He has been unemployed most of that time, has gained 70 pounds and is still ALONE.

    If I didnt believe in Karma, I do now. When I was in the stage you are in, I did not think I could survive. I couldnt breathe, or eat or stop crying. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning.

    love this story! really empowering to women. u go girl!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,104 Member
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    facebook:mad:

    facebook is an insidious, difficult thing to manage. I decided not to unfriend my ex, but I don't have any harrassment issues. Make sure you go through all your photo albums and set them to private. EACH one has to be done separately.

    Also, make your friends list private. So no one can see your info/pictures through any mutual friends. It is a chore to keep up with fb privacy settings but you have to do it.

    I also found out last week, some of your photo albums will show up in the "Boxes" tab. Infuriating. And I don't know how that happens. So check your "Boxes" tab if you have one. I just deleted the tab, but there may be another way to take them out......it didn't affect my photos otherwise (by deleting the "Boxes" tab). Unfortunately if the photo albums are in the "Boxes" tab, even IF you have made the photos private, anyone can see them.:noway: Brutal.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    bump
  • bayoubabe
    bayoubabe Posts: 14 Member
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    Hey where did everybody go? Been MIA for a bit. and it looks as if I am not the only one.
  • Iceprincessk25
    Iceprincessk25 Posts: 1,888 Member
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    I'm dying to know how Mexico went!! I hope she had fun!!!!
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
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    *hug*
    I'm sorry I can't offer more than that. Hang in there slugger.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,104 Member
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    Si Senorita, como esta usted?
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    Mexico was fun:) Weather was iffy - but still got tan.. and looked fab in my bikini - will post a pic:)

    The nightmare still lives on here. I feel I am doing better with no contact. But we have to meet up tonight to discuss finances and stuff. I want to keep my home - well becasue how can he take that from me too? But financially, i am unsure I can swing it. Unless he gives me time - a couple of months to pull it together. So he made a list of things to discuss tonight when we meet. My life as a list of things to cover so that he can leave me. So nice.

    Today sucks.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    Let him know your demands. If he balks or refuses, get up and leave. Let your attorney handle it. You might be able to get spousal support or alimony. No telling.... differs state to state, situation to situation. Don't let him take your house.
  • bayoubabe
    bayoubabe Posts: 14 Member
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    yes! Yes! Yes!! Get a lawyer. I have a great lawyer and since I was not at fault for the divorce, my ex has to pay alimony, my lawyer, court costs, and I get just about everything!! He of course now wants to mediate...but only because he is a cop and doesn't want his dirty laundry in the public eye. Not to mention that he knocked up his little tramp and by the looks of it she was pregos before he left me. He has bought an acre of land and is still trying to get financed for a double wide trailer. Now I am not knocking trailers or people that live in them by any means....but in this case I think it is hiliarious that he has "moved up" in the world. Going from having me as his "trophy wife" with a brick house and lakehouse, money in the bank, ect...to the "queen of his double wide"!! with no money, no lakehouse, and soon to be..2 screaming kids!! hehehehe LOVE IT!!! Karma is great!! So RUN don't walk and get a lawyer!!!! Hang in there and protect yourself!!
  • KendalBeee
    KendalBeee Posts: 2,269 Member
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    how did it go last night?
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403
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    actually it went really well. i was really anxious all day. but i was cooking a piece of chicken when he got there and he brought a 6 pack. we talked for about 3 hours. he cried. talked about the therapy he is in. i listened. I didnt cry that much (i am about 20 session ahead of him) - we agreed that i will stay in the house until we catch up and can decide what to do financially if I want to keep the house or not.
    it wasnt bad.
    i didnt feel desperate for him becasue in this process i realized that my happiness comes from inside of me not from what he decides to do not do say or not say... i said that to him as well and it made him cry. he has a lot of guilt.
    I felt calm and strong and not desperate. I love him still very much though. That is the hardest thing. And he doesnt seem to want to change his mind about reconciling. Which I dont understand completely. But maybe he just has to work through things. And in the end however it works out, I will be a better person - for him or for someone else to love....

    It all sucks and is very surreal. And I sound fairly sane right now - but yesterday I had to leave work at 1 30 because i was a sobbing blubbering hot mess at my desk. Day by day right - and pretty soon the feelings start to dull and the happier moments become more frequent than the sad and angry ones.

    Betrayal is a mean thing to overcome - dont think you ever can - but you can grow trying....
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    actually it went really well. i was really anxious all day. but i was cooking a piece of chicken when he got there and he brought a 6 pack. we talked for about 3 hours. he cried. talked about the therapy he is in. i listened. I didnt cry that much (i am about 20 session ahead of him) - we agreed that i will stay in the house until we catch up and can decide what to do financially if I want to keep the house or not.
    it wasnt bad.
    i didnt feel desperate for him becasue in this process i realized that my happiness comes from inside of me not from what he decides to do not do say or not say... i said that to him as well and it made him cry. he has a lot of guilt.
    I felt calm and strong and not desperate. I love him still very much though. That is the hardest thing. And he doesnt seem to want to change his mind about reconciling. Which I dont understand completely. But maybe he just has to work through things. And in the end however it works out, I will be a better person - for him or for someone else to love....

    It all sucks and is very surreal. And I sound fairly sane right now - but yesterday I had to leave work at 1 30 because i was a sobbing blubbering hot mess at my desk. Day by day right - and pretty soon the feelings start to dull and the happier moments become more frequent than the sad and angry ones.

    Betrayal is a mean thing to overcome - dont think you ever can - but you can grow trying....

    I hate to sound trite, but to quote Tina, "What's love got to do with it?" You are better without him. You are moving forward. It's not easy, but you are making progress in the right direction, honey. (((hugs)))

    I'm also VERY GLAD you are able to eat again!! Also glad you will be keeping your house.

    And he may not have been crying out of guilt, but crying cause he got caught and called out for it.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    actually it went really well. i was really anxious all day. but i was cooking a piece of chicken when he got there and he brought a 6 pack. we talked for about 3 hours. he cried. talked about the therapy he is in. i listened. I didnt cry that much (i am about 20 session ahead of him) - we agreed that i will stay in the house until we catch up and can decide what to do financially if I want to keep the house or not.
    it wasnt bad.
    i didnt feel desperate for him becasue in this process i realized that my happiness comes from inside of me not from what he decides to do not do say or not say... i said that to him as well and it made him cry. he has a lot of guilt.
    I felt calm and strong and not desperate. I love him still very much though. That is the hardest thing. And he doesnt seem to want to change his mind about reconciling. Which I dont understand completely. But maybe he just has to work through things. And in the end however it works out, I will be a better person - for him or for someone else to love....

    It all sucks and is very surreal. And I sound fairly sane right now - but yesterday I had to leave work at 1 30 because i was a sobbing blubbering hot mess at my desk. Day by day right - and pretty soon the feelings start to dull and the happier moments become more frequent than the sad and angry ones.

    Betrayal is a mean thing to overcome - dont think you ever can - but you can grow trying....

    glad it went that well. When I read this I get flashbacks to my break up with my ex. We were together thru high school and part of college and were planning to get married and everything and then he up and decided he wanted his freedom back and didnt want a commitment. (translation he wanted to screw around before he settled down)
    but u are 100% right about "happiness comes from within not from what HE does or says" took me a long time to realize that and when I finally did, it set me free emotionally.

    Whatever happens I hope its for the best. I can tell u love him and I hope he snaps out of this phase ASAP cuz usually thats what it is, a phase men go thru. I say this because its been almost 3 years since my ex and I broke up, and he still calls me frequently (used to be everyday now its slowed down to every couple of weeks) asking for a 2nd chance and saying how stupid he was.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,104 Member
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    Sabes, so so so glad to hear you sounding so strong and peaceful.

    Yes, the emotions come and go. But like the waves on the beach, they are fleeting and always changing. Sometimes, waiting for the tide to go out is the only way to get off the rocks. They're just waves.



    I'm glad you rocked the bikini!
  • bayoubabe
    bayoubabe Posts: 14 Member
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    Sabes- I am glad it went well for you. Don't get too sucked into him crying though. My ex did the same thing...it was to try and make me feel sorry for him. Didn't work!! Just take it one day at a time. If you feel like crying..then cry...if you want to laugh then do that. It has been 4 months for me and there are still times that it hits me hard. Well meaning people feel it necessary to tell me what he is doing, about her, ect....my response now is....I really don't care!! That has gotten back to him and he seemed surprised by that. He also made the comment to a mutual friend that he thinks he made a mistake...Boy did he ever!! There is no way that I would take him back again..fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me!!! That and now he is going to have a child with her!! He made his bed now he can lie in the filth!! Hang in there!!!

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