Adultery Diet

This thread has reminded me of a conversation with my since deceased mother. I remember one day telling her I was going to leave my husband.

She asked:

'Did he hit you?"
"Did he cheat?"
"Is he drinking"
"Did he spend his paycheck and not pay the bills?"
" Did he not come home after work every night?"

I said no to the all of the above. Her response was:

"The next one MIGHT!"

Just something on my mind. My heart hurts for you today. I do not even know any of you, but my heart hurts. :tear:

While that is certainly something to think about, it's also encouraging you not to move forward out of FEAR. Can't live life in fear. Another important question that she didn't ask would be, "Does he love you? Does he treat you respectfully and lovingly? Does he pay attention to you, or solely focus on his own needs? Does he carry his fair share around the house? Is he an attentive father?"

I understand her viewpoint, but it sounds more like she simply "existed" rather than "lived", you know?

I left my husband 9 months ago. I miss him every single day. I think of him all the time. Everything reminds me of him. Bittersweet memories. However, my head is in the lead, not my heart. He was uncaring, unkind and unloving. I deserve a life better than that. I accepted it until I saw our marriage through my daughter's eyes, when at 3.5 years old she told me that when she grew up, she'd beat him up for talking to me like that. My three year old thought he was being disrespectful to me! THREE. Then I realized, what was I teaching her? That a marriage should be carried by one spouse, that there is no friendship or partnership, that love is unimportant, that she should stick out a dead marriage for..... ?? for what?. Looking through her eyes, I knew it was over. I knew what I had to do. I saw my life through her eyes, and through the eyes of my own mother. I'd never want my daughter to stay in a marriage like that, so I took the hardest step of my life and left. It was positively, horrifyingly scary. I'd left my husband, who I'd been with since I was 16, with a 3 year old daughter, having just been laid off from my work place.

Life has changed drastically in 9 months. Miss him daily? Sure. However, I am a fuller person. My life is overflowing with friends and loved ones and smiles and laughter. My stress levels are lower. I am more easy going, willing to let life take me where it will.

Sorry.... my own personal tangent. I support you all through most all of your decisions. Every person's situation is different but we can all agree they hurt like hell.

I am actually doing okay. I am beginning to live again.
Had a date. Felt good to be told I was beautiful and to be desired.
I have been doing alot of strength training at the gym - that has helped my mood.
It has been quite a journey - the sucking feeling of angst and loss isnt as strong in the morning when I open my eyes.
I am making it through the day more often than not without crying.
So eveyone was right - it does get better - i am not 100% - but i am closer than I was.
And makingout with my date was super fun:smokin:
Hottest seconf base he'll ever see - lol

yay! bayou!!! super fun:)
Thank you Pheonix... you are right. It does get better each day - i cannot believe I went away this weekend and didnt even think about him - and when i did I thought of him with eww- jerk - feeling rather than angst or desire or desperation for that matter.
Dating is a great distraction. Met a cute guy at the bar while skiing this weekend... My dating life could go into full swing if I go with it:)
Another thing - I have gained back 5 of my 20 pounds lost! I must be eating again.LOL
What a journey. I was reading from my first post on here until now - what a great resource. I love this board.
Thank you!!!!