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What Day Is It?
National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. The most adventurous and most colorful finds are growing in company fridges. George Spelvin Day. As of this date, George and his twin sister have appeared in more Broadway shows than anyone in history. Day of the Imprisoned Writer. They don't have much else to do. National Spicy…
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What Day Is It?
National Pickle Day. Who was the first person who thought to soak a perfectly good cucumber in vinegar, dill, and garlic for however long, then quarter it lengthwise and put it on a kosher hot dog with poppy seed bun, chopped onion, relish, tomato wedges, sport peppers, celery salt and MUSTARD, never ever ketchup? National…
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What Day Is It?
This is: National Split Pea Soup Week. One of the most satisfying low paying jobs is the pea splitter. American Education Week. Celebrated by Asian, Pakistani, Indian, and Arab families, but no longer understood by American families. National Global Entrepreneurship Week. That's National Global, not merely Global.…
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What Day Is It?
National Vanilla Cupcake Day. Is there a more exciting way to end a meal? World Science Day for Peace and Development. Brought to you by the kind folks who thought the atom bomb wasn't didn't kill enough people and gave us the hydrogen bomb and the railgun. Colorado River Crossing Balloon Festival -- Yuma, AZ. Just build a…
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What Day Is It?
National Scrapple Day. A totally American food limited to 5 of the 50 for good reason. World Quality Day. Today we can buy quality goods from Japanese owned American corporations headquartered in Ireland and made in China. Chaos Never Dies Day. This was originally celebrated in the Capitol building, but has now been…
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What Day Is It?
World Urbanism Day. A day to remember the joys of city living: rats the the size of cars, the aroma of apartment dumpsters in August, winter parking spaces reserved with lawn chairs, air you can see, and pigeon poop. Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day. MMM, grilled Limburger cheese and Kim chi sandwich. National Abet and…
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What Day Is It?
National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day. Sometimes combining a vegetable and fruit ends up as candy. Notary Public Day. Does anyone even have use for a Notary Public any more? Employee Brotherhood Day. Stand together against management. They can't keep us down. We will overcome. Keep the picket line moving no…
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What Day Is It?
This is Drowsy Driving Prevention Week. Never text while or use your hand held cell phone behind the wheel if you feel drowsy. Give Wildlife A Brake! Week. Unless it's a goose walking across the road. They can fly. Show them why. 96969695969696969696 World Paper Free Day. With the advent of computers everywhere we will…
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What Day Is It?
National Sandwich Day. Free 12 inch sub at a participating Subway not near you. National Cliche Day. Does every cloud have a silver lining? No. Does it pour when it rains? Occasionally. Can the cat get your tongue. Only if you're dumb enough. Is the rest history? No. The previous is. Could I go on forever? Probably Give…
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What Day Is It?
Plan Your Epitaph Day. First, that's just a bit egoistic. Second, unless you buy your headstone now can you trust that anyone will buy it after you drop dead? Third, when you're looking at the dark side of the grass, you can't see your headstone. So ignore this. National Deviled Egg Day. How can something so good be named…
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What Day Is It?
This month is: Sweet Potato Awareness Month. If you see a homeless sweet potato, invite it to come home with you, give it a shower and warm pot to sleep in until it's warm through and through. Then give it a temporary home in your belly. Vegan Month. We normal people should show our thanks to the vegans of the world for…
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What Day Is It?
National Caramel Apple Day. Thank you Dan. Reformation Day. If it weren't for Marty, how much would Congress pay for indulgences today? My guess is, allowing for inflation, they would still be millions ahead. Books for Treats Day. Do you wanna get your car and house egged? Give books in lieu of candy. National Knock Knock…
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What Day Is It?
Create a Great Funeral Day. How about a themed funeral? "It" as a theme? The funeral home could dress you as Pennywise. Or a Dracula funeral with the corpse in a cape. Mourners dress in character. The ideas are endless. Mischief Night. "Minor" vandalism is allowed, even encouraged tonight. "Minor" does not include used TP,…
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What Day Is It?
National American Beer Day. Lager, IPA, Pilsner, Porter, Stout, Brown Ale, Bock, it all comes out the same. Boxer Shorts Day. Really? This is 2017. Men and women no longer wear sack cloth. National Breadstick Day. Aren't they just the IPA of pretzel sticks? Cranky Co-Workers Day. Admit it. It can make your day to play with…
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What Day Is It?
National Mincemeat Day. What the hell is mincemeat? Has anyone eaten it since 1764? National Mule Day. Does this mule make my a ss look big? Worldwide Howl at the Moon Night. Please wait until nightfall. Last year was a mess. National Pumpkin Day. In celebration go to Starbucks and order a venti dark skinny zebra mocha…
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What Day Is It?
National Greasy Foods Day. You tried to stay away from that oh so good battered deep fried chicken. You tried to stay away from Krispy Kremes. You tried to stay away from the Porcelain Palace. Feel the force little Luke. Feel that delirious partially hydrogenated oil. Punk For a Day Day. Be a Ramone. Wear that spiked…
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What Day Is It?
World Tripe Day. MMMM, can you think of anything more appetizing than stomach? Perhaps liver? Kidney? How about toe nails? Take Back Your Time Day. Nope. Too late. You'll always just miss it. Share a Pop Tart With Someone You Love Day. Sugar filled, sugar coated toasted cardboard. United Nations Day. Preventing wars and…
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What Day Is It?
This is: Pro Bono Week. All lawyers all free all week. Some restrictions apply. Rodent Awareness Week. The number one rat city (Chicago) asks you, no, begs and implores you to adopt a couple thousand homeless rats. National Save For Retirement Week. Now they tell me. National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week. No one has…
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What Day Is It?
The First Day of the next 107 years. Celebrated on the North side of Chicago National Suspenders Day. Perhaps these could be introduced to the the thug world so we no longer have to see their racing striped boxer shorts. National Brandied Fruit Day. Vitamin and fiber packed snacks. Miss American Rose Day. Makes sense.…
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What Day Is It?
National Seafood Bisque Day. See food that's bad? Bisque it, and who doesn't like biscuits and gravy? Get to Know Your Customer Day. Show up at dinner time. Bring your comfy PJ's and a bottle of tequila. Conflict Resolution Day. Also known as parenthood. Evaluate Your Life Day. Too late now loser. What could you have done…
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What Day Is It?
International Necktie Day. There are 177,147 ways to tie a strip of cloth that is totally unnecessary for a man or woman to wear for any occasion other than something to get a stain on. World Menopause Day. Men, hide deep in a cave in the middle of a dark forest surrounded by bears and wolves to protect you from menopausal…
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What Day Is It?
National Edge Day. R.I.P. Karma, Floorpunch, In My Eyes, Reach The Sky, Ten Yard Fight. No booze today. No drugs today. No pot today. No meat today. No promiscuity today. No tobacco today. Just lie down and die to celebrate. National Pasta Day. Marco Polo has, in fact, been proven to have eaten pasta long prior to his…
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What Day Is It?
This is: Choose To Be G.R.E.A.T. Week. Working in Scarsdale, Winnetka, and Atherton. Not working in Chicago, Detroit and East St Louis. Hmmm. Asexual Awareness Week. Probably the the most bored people on earth. National Save For Retirement Week. Now they tell me. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Today is: National Liqueur Day. If…
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What Day Is It?
World Egg Day. This is just the beginning. English Language Day. Live here. Learn it. Use it. International Plain Language Day. Murican! Or if you're not a NASCAR fan, American! National No Bra Day. OK, ladies, I won't wear one. It's up to you to further the cause. International Skeptics Day. I'm not so sure about that.…
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What Day Is It?
National Gumbo Day. Gumbi's Cajun cousin. Freethought Day. This is no longer celebrated in America. You must strictly conform to the Left or the Right. National Pulled Pork Day. The venerable Suidae family blesses us with one of the foods of the gods, pulled pork. Old Farmers Day. They should find something to do in their…
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What Day Is It?
National Sausage Pizza Day. Can it be bird sausage ? No. Can it be fake cheese? No. Can it be gluten free crust? No. If any of those are a yes, It's not pizza. So put that lite beer back in the fridge. You Go, Girl Day. And don't ever come back. Southern Food Heritage Day. Where would we be without grits, collard greens,…
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What Day Is It?
World Porridge Day. Or grits, the breakfast of champions in the South. National Love Your Hair Day. For some this is but a fond memory washed down the shower drain. National Handbag Day. If men carried them, we would have a pocket knife, a comb, over stuffed wallet, several keys that unlock something we no longer have, and…
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What Day Is It?
This is: Drink Local Wine Week. Screw the French and Italians. Drink that special wine from Lynchburg Tennessee. National Metric Week. Do you know that introducing the metric system to America was just a trick to try to get us to watch Soccer? ++++++++++++++++ This is: International Beer and Pizza Day. Or today. Leif…
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What Day Is It?
World Smile Day. Do it, dammit. National Noodle Day. What would you call it if a redneck noodles a 50 pound catfish and serves it with Idiyappam? Plaidurday. Shirt, jacket, pants, socks, tee shirts for guys, bras for women, briefs and panties plaid, all plaid today. Checks don't count. No stripes. No solids. If it's plaid,…
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What Day Is It?
International Day of No Prostitution. Sorry pervs, even hookers get a day off. Do Something Nice Day. After you cut off that speed limit geek in the left lane just continue on your way sans middle finger salute. National Storytelling Day. Trust me. Your listener is most interested after your fourth Tequila shot. National…
