TotalDetermination's journal

totaldetermination

sunday was good.

(good just means that I am happy with my efforts - I've set the bar quite low but you have to start somewhere .)

tcunbeliever

even a tiny step forward is progress

totaldetermination

thanks @tcunbeliever. i am focusing on small (hopefully sustainable) steps.
I remembered that when I first started on MFP it took me over a month to find my rhthym. so I am struggling through this with hope.

monday was good.

I had the courage to weigh myself this morning and it has gone down about 4 pounds (since round 2 began).

could be water weight, daily fluctuations or TOM but still its a good sign.

Also, my ticker is showing over 50 pounds lost (ie since the start of MFP) which is a nice psychological victory. I want to keep it there.

I feel I am ready to weigh myself daily. which should give me better feedback on how I'm going.

totaldetermination

Tuesday and Wednesday were both good.
Im excited to be weighing daily to have more accurate idea of my weight and any weight loss ( or gain).

totaldetermination

I'm feeling quite proud of myself.

I received some bad news (nothing too serious, just a bit stressful). I went to the fridge to start eating (Im an emotional eater). I ate a few hundred calories. I stopped myself and took a carrot and a tomato out of the fridge. I decided if i was going to eat then it would at least be low calorie foods. I ate both. then i went back for more and ate a few hundred calories more of other food. I stopped myself again. I filled up a jug with water. If I have to 'eat' then its going to be water.

Im sitting here now with a jug of water.

The food will be my lunch, and my calories should be ok for the day.

good.

tcunbeliever

Way to manage the eating monster!!!

totaldetermination

thanks @tcunbeliever.

The rest of the day (Thursday) went ok, so it ended up being a 'good' day.

Being able to turn the day around is a great psychological victory. It's 2 steps forward, 1 step back. but the forward steps are nudging ahead to a very positive and encouraging place.

totaldetermination

Friday was good.

50extra

Total, good to see that you are back at it. I didn't think we would ever see you again on here which was sad because this is your group to start with.

Good job getting back at it, I am sure that you will be back to where you were before you know it. I am working at doing the same thing myself.

I will be checking in on here to see the progress you are making, keep it up!

totaldetermination

hi @50extra, Nice to see you (and your progress).
Its good to be back. and definitely helpful for keeping me on track.
I injured myself, allowed myself to stop worrying about calories in vs calories out and gained about 30lb. At least you enjoyed yourself whilst gaining - mine was just plain miserable.
so here i am because if I don't do something it will just keep going up and up...

Saturday was good.

@WifiresGettingFit Ive been using the hand measurements to give me an idea of reasonable portion sizes. Its really quite eye opening. when I get a chance Im going to look into it a bit more.

50extra

Well you have done it before so you know how to do it again. I'm sure that it will all become routine again soon enough.

totaldetermination

Sunday was good

totaldetermination

I now have a weeks worth of daily weigh-ins. I am interested to see what is happening with my weight at the moment.

According to my fitbit i am burning about 2000 calories per day.
As for how much I am taking in - I am just trying to eat somewhere a little bit below what I think would be 'normal'. Its very much guess work, though i am trying to use the hand size portion measurement idea as a reference.
In a way it was easier when I could measure and weigh everything because I didn't have to make any decisions. But it didn't teach me portion size - everything was ruled by the scale. So although this is harder if I can get it to work it will be better.
Well, its the best I can do for now, anyway.

I feel like I am settling into a routine. and if i have to tweak it by reducing the size of my meals then I will do that but (fingers crossed) I should be able to find a way to make this work.

50extra

@totaldetermination would it be possible to eyeball the portion first and then quickly throw it into a measuring cup or on a scale afterwards? I would assume doing that would quickly force you to learn proper portion sizes?

totaldetermination

@50extra - practically its a bit tricky at the moment. hopefully things will be a bit easier soon. but i am just trying to do the best i can at the moment.

I just weighed myself and was a bit surprised by the number so i weighed myself a second time and it was alot lower. so i tried about 5 more times and got 5 different numbers (its on tiles and flat) the scale has been a bit unpredictable lately so i think its time for a new one.
Makes me doubt the last weeks worth of measurements i was so glad i had .

I am wondering if i will be more or less on the new scale ?

50extra

Yes it definitely sounds like it's time for a new scale. I have two scales myself, I have one here in Russia and then one back in Canada. I like to consider the one in Canada my nice scale as it reads significantly lower than the one here. Significantly lower as in 4 or 5 pounds. I bought two of the exact same scales at the exact same time and they are that different.

totaldetermination

I ate over again yesterday.
My meals sizes were good but i had too many of them *sigh*.
I was eating from boredom (and procastintaing) - not hunger. Every couple of hours I just kept going for more food.

Anyway today is a new day. and although I knew that I shouldn't keep going back, sometimes it feels that I have to actually make a mistake and see it through before I learn from it.

So (hopefully) this is me learning from my mistake.

2 steps forward and one step back. I will still get there.

WifiresGettingFit

@totaldetermination Happy new day! You've got this!

totaldetermination

thankyou @WifiresGettingFit

Today (Tuesday) was ok.

WifiresGettingFit

@totaldetermination You're welcome and an okay day is better than a crappy day! Keep working at it!

totaldetermination

Wednesday was good

totaldetermination

Thursday was good

WifiresGettingFit

Yay for having good days!

totaldetermination

@WifiresGettingFit

Friday was good.

totaldetermination

Saturday was good

WifiresGettingFit

Keep up the great work, you've got this!!

totaldetermination

Sunday and Monday were both good.

Thanks @WifiresGettingFit - it seems to be slowly getting easier. It is becoming more of a habit to eat reasonable quantities. But I will have to reduce my calories to lose weight. Maybe one more week like this and then reduce it. At least I have stopped the gain that was creeping up on me, so even that is a big win.

tcunbeliever

You don't have to reduce every day, particularly if that impacts adherence. You can reduce every other day or reduce 2 out of 3 days, whatever makes it easy to stick to is what will work the best long term.

WifiresGettingFit

@totaldetermination So glad to read that it's getting easier for you! Keep at it!

50extra

I agree with tcunbeliever, if you are having a problem with reducing the calories just do it every couple days. Look at your overall weekly calorie needs and plan from there. If you feel like you are depriving yourself day in and day out it makes it really hard to stay on track, its much easier to restrict one day knowing you don't have to the next.