Things Not to Say When You're on a Dating Site
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Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.
I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
But I really am undecided. :happy: I am not trying to waste anyone's time.
I think it gives off the vibe that they are looking for serious or marriage and that may scare others off. Plus as others stated at 30+ in age the possibility of finding a mate in that age range that doesn't have kids is uncommon. At least with my area it is.
Well, thanks for telling me that undecided is the truth for you. In New England at least, there are still plenty of singles in this age range without kids, so maybe it feels like a more serious question than if someone already has some?0 -
Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.
I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)
Me too, I feel the same way.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
I am just going to wing it on this one so hear goes.
It is in the "does this make my butt look big" impossible to give a correct answer trap.
If he says yes then many women think he is looking for too much too soon and if he says no then it implies he doesn`t like children which is a kiss of death to a majority of women.0 -
Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.
I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)
Me too, I feel the same way.
I am the same way. I currently don't want them but who knows if I am in a loving relationship I might change my mind.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
I am just going to wing it on this one so hear goes.
It is in the "does this make my butt look big" impossible to give a correct answer trap.
If he says yes then many women think he is looking for too much too soon and if he says no then it implies he doesn`t like children which is a kiss of death to a majority of women.
I suppose this makes sense, but is still frustrating.0 -
Oh and just this morning I got "wen u taken me out" in a message (yes, his spelling and all...) from someone without a photo. Thanks for offering me the chance... I feel very special now. :noway:0
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Also why do guys always put 'I hate being serious' Really? Everything in life is fun and clowns that it is always a laugh a minute?0
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Hey everyone,
Just thought Id add my little expirences here. Im on POF and for the most part its been ok. Had some nice dates and even a relationship that sadly just didnt work out. But Ive also had this one particular date where I went to meet a guy that accused me of not being truthful about my weight. I laughed at him. Here's why:
1) my shots are full length or almost so- you can see im not as thin as other girls
2) It clearly states on my profile that Im carrying a few extra pounds. Why? Because I am and yes Im here on MFP to change that and have made some great progess (Im not 66lbs lighter than I once was) but Im still bigger than other girls. This journey is a long one and Im not ashamed of being bigger nor do I think I need to be.
Yes Im here to change the fact im bigger but the fact remains for the moment Im bigger and i see no reason to hide from that or be ashamed of who Iam.
So I laughed at him and told him why the hell didnt you read my profile my pictures are true (actually im probably heavier on them than I am now lol) and I clearly state im bigger. Read the damn profile I took the time to fill in lol xx
however I feel I should also add that it can be alot of fun an sometimes down right fall off your chair funny. Im a nurse so you can imagine some of the wise cracks I get about that. Its truly funny to read some of the messages and wonder if they really expect you to reply to that lol xx0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
I think men write undecided because they may be open to dating someone with children but don't want any (more) of their own? I, too have open because I can't have my own kids...well, unlikely anyway, but would be very willing to date someone with kids-would prefer it actually0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.
@DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
Well I checked undecided because I already have 2 kids and clicking I dont want kids just doesnt make sense. LOL..... Seriously Im more interested in men who dont wan kids or dont want more kids.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.
@DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...
No idea where I would find that stat. My own personal opinion would say that the playing the field perspective would be more common. There'd really be no great way to tell the difference in itself except for looking at the bigger picture. By about 28-30, most guys know where they stand on kids, as by then their friends have started pairing off and some have kids by then.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.
@DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...
No idea where I would find that stat. My own personal opinion would say that the playing the field perspective would be more common. There'd really be no great way to tell the difference in itself except for looking at the bigger picture. By about 28-30, most guys know where they stand on kids, as by then their friends have started pairing off and some have kids by then.
Fair enough, I was just asking your opinion, wasn't expecting real data here, LOL0 -
I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!0
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I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!
Hey sweetie sometimes it works too! My mams best friend met her husband online dating they've been together for about seven years and got married last year and one of my friends is with a great guy she met on POF I think it can work and sometimes it doesnt but hnestly thats dating in general isnt it? xx0 -
I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)
I'm thinking we need a gym crush update... lol0 -
I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!
I'm very new to online dating and it took me a long time to warm up to the idea, but finally did it because I wasn't meeting anyone new in real life. There is a lot of weeding through profiles and getting stupid one sentence messages. But, it is nice that you can be open to so many people at once and have some back and forth conversations. If nothing else, I have a better sense of what's out there than I did a short time ago. And we had this conversation on another thread, but don't bother with eharmony, otherwise all of the other sites are similar, so just pick one you think is most used in your area.0 -
Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.
I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)
Me too, I feel the same way.
Here, here! I used to want to have kids, but I'm getting to the point in my life that I'm not sure any more. I think I would be a good parent if I were to have kids. I love kids. However, the older I get, the less certain I am that my life is headed in that direction.0 -
Then I look at who they are willing to date and they have everything checked except for 'black/african-american'. Even 'other'.
Hey, you're not alone in this... I helped my friend create an eHarmony account last night, and just for grins created one myself. We're very similar, and our answers to their questionairre were almost identical. The only difference is that she's white and I'm mixed. Even though I was more relaxed about my partner's qualities (for example, I was more open to people of other backgrounds), she got a ton more matches upfront. I'm used to it (always get the "Oh, I thought you were Puerto Rican... goodbye"), but it's still annoying. If I were dead set on getting married soon, I'd be really discouraged.0 -
I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!
Don't be scared. .. . just be aware and don't let anyone out there hurt your feelings. There are good people out there. I had some fun dates. The reason I quit is b/c I realized I don't have a lot of time right now (work, kid, etc) and never REALLY completely clicked with anyone. But, I'll probably do it again (if I can't connect with "church-girl"). . I'm just waiting to get settled.0 -
Also why do guys always put 'I hate being serious' Really? Everything in life is fun and clowns that it is always a laugh a minute?
UGH haha....that goes hand in hand with "I have a goofy, sarcastic sense of humor." Honestly...maybe there are some women who like that...but I don't want a 35yr old who considers himself a "goof." I am all for humor, but I prefer wit, and think it is much more attractive.
I was texting back and forth with a 35yr old recently, and when I mentioned wanting a Lexus in a "pearly white" color, he had to make a perverted reference to "pearl necklaces." Seriously?!?! Not how I envision the man of my dreams, lol.0 -
I was texting back and forth with a 35yr old recently, and when I mentioned wanting a Lexus in a "pearly white" color, he had to make a perverted reference to "pearl necklaces." Seriously?!?! Not how I envision the man of my dreams, lol.Also why do guys always put 'I hate being serious' Really? Everything in life is fun and clowns that it is always a laugh a minute?
I am guessing you didn't have much history with this person. It's hard to get away with that joke with very little history between 2 people.0 -
All of this information makes me very excited to join an online dating website. I think I'll go with POF cause it's free. I'm thinking of only adding pictures of me doing ridiculous things and specifically Ke$ha lyrics to see what comes in my inbox.
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Match . .dot. . com. . . VERY interesting 6 months! (got the guarantee btw. .but shut down my profile . . at least for now. )
Girls. . if you can help it, resist the Pavlovian need to put the words: "Live life to the fullest" anywhere in your profile. .. . *puke*..
That's how I feel about the words "laid back", EVERY GUY'S PROFILE SAYS THAT!Easily 50% of girls have "Quiet night on the couch with a glass of wine and a movie". . so, yeah, the guys are probably saying this because they think that's what you want to hear!
Mine doesn't! Yay, I'm not the norm!Body shots. . You have to have at least one honest body shot on your profile. . If you get a date and you show up and you weren't honest about your body. . . well. .it's just awkward and frustrating for everybody. . . I stopped contacting girls who didn't have a body shot. . I know a lot of you are going to attack me for being shallow etc. . but I like what I like. It's not my fault!
Agree 100%!I don't know if my experience is average or what.. but keep in mind that you girls get orders of magnitude more messages than we do. . The entire time I was on I probably got 20 unsolicited emails. . I went on a date with one girl who got 100+ every DAY! I'm pretty sure there are more guys than girls on match.
I don't know why guys think that...I might get a few emails a week, and I email lots of guys and initiate contact...0 -
oh you know what I really hate. Music snobs.
Everyone has their own taste. Mine is all over the place. But I saw a guy who I thought was really interesting but he added 'don't bother contacting me if you like Kesha'. Like he has personal beef with Kesha.
I actually did write to him but all I said was..'This place about to blow..oh oh oh oh oh oh oh'
You're my idol.0 -
I don't know if my experience is average or what.. but keep in mind that you girls get orders of magnitude more messages than we do. . The entire time I was on I probably got 20 unsolicited emails. . I went on a date with one girl who got 100+ every DAY! I'm pretty sure there are more guys than girls on match.
I don't know why guys think that...I might get a few emails a week, and I email lots of guys and initiate contact...
Guys think that because it is usually true. Women who are average looking or better usually get bombarded with messages, particularly those under 30. The younger, the greater the competition. And there are plenty of 40 year old women getting a lot of messages. I see no reason why you (toots99) should not be getting more messages. Perhaps something in the profile is not the way it should be to get a lot of messages.0 -
A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.
I'm unsure if I want to have kids. I'm not dying to, but I'm also not against it. If I meet the right person and it feels like the right and desired thing to do, then I'm in.0
This discussion has been closed.