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Things Not to Say When You're on a Dating Site

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  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.

    I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    But I really am undecided. :happy: I am not trying to waste anyone's time.
    I think it gives off the vibe that they are looking for serious or marriage and that may scare others off. Plus as others stated at 30+ in age the possibility of finding a mate in that age range that doesn't have kids is uncommon. At least with my area it is.

    Well, thanks for telling me that undecided is the truth for you. In New England at least, there are still plenty of singles in this age range without kids, so maybe it feels like a more serious question than if someone already has some?
  • tangie82
    tangie82 Posts: 285 Member
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    Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.

    I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)

    Me too, I feel the same way.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    I am just going to wing it on this one so hear goes.

    It is in the "does this make my butt look big" impossible to give a correct answer trap.
    If he says yes then many women think he is looking for too much too soon and if he says no then it implies he doesn`t like children which is a kiss of death to a majority of women.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.

    I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)

    Me too, I feel the same way.

    I am the same way. I currently don't want them but who knows if I am in a loving relationship I might change my mind.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    I am just going to wing it on this one so hear goes.

    It is in the "does this make my butt look big" impossible to give a correct answer trap.
    If he says yes then many women think he is looking for too much too soon and if he says no then it implies he doesn`t like children which is a kiss of death to a majority of women.

    I suppose this makes sense, but is still frustrating.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Oh and just this morning I got "wen u taken me out" in a message (yes, his spelling and all...) from someone without a photo. Thanks for offering me the chance... I feel very special now. :noway:
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Also why do guys always put 'I hate being serious' Really? Everything in life is fun and clowns that it is always a laugh a minute?
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    Hey everyone,
    Just thought Id add my little expirences here. Im on POF and for the most part its been ok. Had some nice dates and even a relationship that sadly just didnt work out. But Ive also had this one particular date where I went to meet a guy that accused me of not being truthful about my weight. I laughed at him. Here's why:

    1) my shots are full length or almost so- you can see im not as thin as other girls

    2) It clearly states on my profile that Im carrying a few extra pounds. Why? Because I am and yes Im here on MFP to change that and have made some great progess (Im not 66lbs lighter than I once was) but Im still bigger than other girls. This journey is a long one and Im not ashamed of being bigger nor do I think I need to be.
    Yes Im here to change the fact im bigger but the fact remains for the moment Im bigger and i see no reason to hide from that or be ashamed of who Iam.

    So I laughed at him and told him why the hell didnt you read my profile my pictures are true (actually im probably heavier on them than I am now lol) and I clearly state im bigger. Read the damn profile I took the time to fill in lol xx

    however I feel I should also add that it can be alot of fun an sometimes down right fall off your chair funny. Im a nurse so you can imagine some of the wise cracks I get about that. Its truly funny to read some of the messages and wonder if they really expect you to reply to that lol xx
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    I think men write undecided because they may be open to dating someone with children but don't want any (more) of their own? I, too have open because I can't have my own kids...well, unlikely anyway, but would be very willing to date someone with kids-would prefer it actually
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.

    @DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.



    Well I checked undecided because I already have 2 kids and clicking I dont want kids just doesnt make sense. LOL..... Seriously Im more interested in men who dont wan kids or dont want more kids.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.

    @DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...

    No idea where I would find that stat. My own personal opinion would say that the playing the field perspective would be more common. There'd really be no great way to tell the difference in itself except for looking at the bigger picture. By about 28-30, most guys know where they stand on kids, as by then their friends have started pairing off and some have kids by then.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    A question for the guys. Why do so many men on dating sites check "undecided" where it asks if you want kids in the future? Personally I'm interacting with people 30+ usually. Is this really something you don't have a yes or no answer for by this point? Feels like a waste of time not to be up front about that.

    Undecided can mean undecided. Stating undecided can also mean I don't want kids but I don't want to restrict my dating pool because most women want kids.

    @DM1983Z... You're the stats guy around here. What % of men are really undecided and what % are just playing the field would you estimate? And is there a way to tell the difference? Let's say this is for guys over the age of 28 or so...

    No idea where I would find that stat. My own personal opinion would say that the playing the field perspective would be more common. There'd really be no great way to tell the difference in itself except for looking at the bigger picture. By about 28-30, most guys know where they stand on kids, as by then their friends have started pairing off and some have kids by then.

    Fair enough, I was just asking your opinion, wasn't expecting real data here, LOL
  • Learning2LuvLindsay
    Learning2LuvLindsay Posts: 1,142 Member
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    I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!

    Hey sweetie sometimes it works too! My mams best friend met her husband online dating they've been together for about seven years and got married last year and one of my friends is with a great guy she met on POF I think it can work and sometimes it doesnt but hnestly thats dating in general isnt it? xx
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)

    I'm thinking we need a gym crush update... lol
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I have seriously been considering doing the online dating thing but you guys are starting to scare me with your experiences!

    I'm very new to online dating and it took me a long time to warm up to the idea, but finally did it because I wasn't meeting anyone new in real life. There is a lot of weeding through profiles and getting stupid one sentence messages. But, it is nice that you can be open to so many people at once and have some back and forth conversations. If nothing else, I have a better sense of what's out there than I did a short time ago. And we had this conversation on another thread, but don't bother with eharmony, otherwise all of the other sites are similar, so just pick one you think is most used in your area.
  • 2stepz
    2stepz Posts: 814 Member
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    Haha, i have undecided on kids myself.

    I honestly don't know if I want kids. I think it'll depend a lot on my partner as I won't have a child by myself. I do love kids but being an aunt is pretty fun already!!! (maybe a stepmom?)

    Me too, I feel the same way.

    Here, here! I used to want to have kids, but I'm getting to the point in my life that I'm not sure any more. I think I would be a good parent if I were to have kids. I love kids. However, the older I get, the less certain I am that my life is headed in that direction.

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