Things Not to Say When You're on a Dating Site
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I was messaging back and forth with 2 guys today. Both asked what I was up to this weekend. I replied with "Nothing planned just a laid back weekend since I have been so busy the rest of March." This to me opens them up to say "Hey why don't we meet ..." or something similar.
Nope both of them "oh yeah nothing really planned either" WTH. :devil: :grumble:
It could be coming off as "I just feel like relaxing this weekend, so I'm not really up for anything." Guys read a lot into your response about what you're up to. I think most of them are terrified of asking you out at the wrong time and hearing "Sorry, but I can't ...," even if there's a perfectly legitimate reason. So if it seems like there is a chance you'll say no, they often won't ask at all.
But I agree, when you meet on a dating site, it should be pretty obvious that going on dates is your objective, not to mention the fact that you wouldn't be e-mailing them if you had no interest.
There's also the school of thought to never have a first date on a Friday or Saturday night. Early/late afternoon Saturday or Sunday could work for some sort of active outdoorsy type first date.
A lot of people (myself included) don't usually have time for a date on a weeknight. I wouldn't reschedule anything I already had planned on a weekend, but if I'm free, then I say yes. Shows the other person you are willing to fit them in to your life too don't you think?0 -
[/quote]There's also the school of thought to never have a first date on a Friday or Saturday night. Early/late afternoon Saturday or Sunday could work for some sort of active outdoorsy type first date.
A lot of people (myself included) don't usually have time for a date on a weeknight. I wouldn't reschedule anything I already had planned, but if I'm free, then I say yes. Shows the other person you are willing to fit them in to your life too don't you think?
There is a need for a mindset change that a lot of singles can easily miss, particularly those who are coming out of long relationships where they didn't really need to think much about scheduling. The significant other was so ingrained in their life that it was like breathing. Relationships, particularly in the early stages, take time. If there's only potential to see another person 2 days a week, a relationship may not develop. I'm not advocating that a person should drop everything in their life to find a meaningful relationship, but there's got to be an openness and a free form approach to scheduling to make the process work the best it can.0 -
There's also the school of thought to never have a first date on a Friday or Saturday night. Early/late afternoon Saturday or Sunday could work for some sort of active outdoorsy type first date.
A lot of people (myself included) don't usually have time for a date on a weeknight. I wouldn't reschedule anything I already had planned, but if I'm free, then I say yes. Shows the other person you are willing to fit them in to your life too don't you think?
There is a need for a mindset change that a lot of singles can easily miss, particularly those who are coming out of long relationships where they didn't really need to think much about scheduling. The significant other was so ingrained in their life that it was like breathing. Relationships, particularly in the early stages, take time. If there's only potential to see another person 2 days a week, a relationship may not develop. I'm not advocating that a person should drop everything in their life to find a meaningful relationship, but there's got to be an openness and a free form approach to scheduling to make the process work the best it can.
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That is a very good point. Something to think about if I ever get past the one and done dates...0 -
Wow. Why on earth would somebody say your looks "didn't do it for him?" :noway:Oh wow, what a trigger... one guy I met from online told me that he was so psyched to discover me because I seemed normal (not psycho) but unfortunately my looks just "didn't do it for him." His loss!
...and to the point that it made him uninterested??? Unbelievable.0 -
I've never done the online dating thing, but I went on POF today just to see what kind of men in my area (I live in Austin, too) are on there, and one guy's profile pic was of him kissing a woman. Now, like I mentioned, I'm no expert on this, but I'm not sure a photo of you kissing someone is the best way to project the image of a man looking for a serious relationship.
Was it his mom? Or daughter?0 -
I've never done the online dating thing, but I went on POF today just to see what kind of men in my area (I live in Austin, too) are on there, and one guy's profile pic was of him kissing a woman. Now, like I mentioned, I'm no expert on this, but I'm not sure a photo of you kissing someone is the best way to project the image of a man looking for a serious relationship.
Was it his mom? Or daughter?
I hope not.0 -
I've never done the online dating thing, but I went on POF today just to see what kind of men in my area (I live in Austin, too) are on there, and one guy's profile pic was of him kissing a woman. Now, like I mentioned, I'm no expert on this, but I'm not sure a photo of you kissing someone is the best way to project the image of a man looking for a serious relationship.
Was it his mom? Or daughter?
I hope not.
This just made me LOL at work.0 -
This guy on POF *oh boy* sent me a message saying "Hey babe I can give you the ride of a lifetime if you want a well hung stud like myself. But it will cost you"
The older and more impatient I get with time wasting BS, the more I wonder if just paying for it and sending him on his way might be the way to go, though.0 -
I was messaging back and forth with 2 guys today. Both asked what I was up to this weekend. I replied with "Nothing planned just a laid back weekend since I have been so busy the rest of March." This to me opens them up to say "Hey why don't we meet ..." or something similar.
Nope both of them "oh yeah nothing really planned either" WTH. :devil: :grumble:
Well, that does seem to me like a pretty good opening. . but it's very delicate asking for that date. .
They probably just didn't want to come off as too pushy or eager. . especially if you've only been messenging them for a day or two. Several times the message I sent asking for the date or the phone number was like some death knell b/c I never heard from the girl again (or it might have just been my misunderstanding of online dating code).0 -
I was messaging back and forth with 2 guys today. Both asked what I was up to this weekend. I replied with "Nothing planned just a laid back weekend since I have been so busy the rest of March." This to me opens them up to say "Hey why don't we meet ..." or something similar.
Nope both of them "oh yeah nothing really planned either" WTH. :devil: :grumble:
Well, that does seem to me like a pretty good opening. . but it's very delicate asking for that date. .
They probably just didn't want to come off as too pushy or eager. . especially if you've only been messenging them for a day or two. Several times the message I sent asking for the date or the phone number was like some death knell b/c I never heard from the girl again (or it might have just been my misunderstanding of online dating code).
Actually a better opening might be, "I don't have any real plans for the weekend" and stop there. Talking about having a laid back weekend and how you've been busy, couldn't that come off as you're tired and not really open to going out?
Of course, there's always the option of trying to drop a hint by saying, "I don't know, what are you up to this weekend?"0 -
Well, that does seem to me like a pretty good opening. . but it's very delicate asking for that date. .
They probably just didn't want to come off as too pushy or eager. . especially if you've only been messenging them for a day or two. Several times the message I sent asking for the date or the phone number was like some death knell b/c I never heard from the girl again (or it might have just been my misunderstanding of online dating code).
I know for me personally, if I'm giving you my number and texting/talking on the phone to you, ask me out already dammit! If you're not feeling it, then just say it. It's gotten to the point where I'm like "Ok, so are we going to go out or what?"0 -
Well, that does seem to me like a pretty good opening. . but it's very delicate asking for that date. .
They probably just didn't want to come off as too pushy or eager. . especially if you've only been messenging them for a day or two. Several times the message I sent asking for the date or the phone number was like some death knell b/c I never heard from the girl again (or it might have just been my misunderstanding of online dating code).
I know for me personally, if I'm giving you my number and texting/talking on the phone to you, ask me out already dammit! If you're not feeling it, then just say it. It's gotten to the point where I'm like "Ok, so are we going to go out or what?"
It's a tricky one for a guy to get right because on the one hand, I want to know they are keen to meet but on the other, I like to get to know them a little first. The guys who make this easy for me mention early on that they want to meet but make it clear there is no rush and that they are fine with whenever I choose.0 -
Well, that does seem to me like a pretty good opening. . but it's very delicate asking for that date. .
They probably just didn't want to come off as too pushy or eager. . especially if you've only been messenging them for a day or two. Several times the message I sent asking for the date or the phone number was like some death knell b/c I never heard from the girl again (or it might have just been my misunderstanding of online dating code).
I know for me personally, if I'm giving you my number and texting/talking on the phone to you, ask me out already dammit! If you're not feeling it, then just say it. It's gotten to the point where I'm like "Ok, so are we going to go out or what?"
Exactly! If I've given you my number or personal email address, then ask already. I don't give that info to just anyone online...0 -
I had a guy message me once to ask me to send him nude pics of myself. I went ahead and asked him why because I knew I never would, and I am always curious as to why men would think a self-respecting woman would do that. His answer was "because I think you're hot and I want to see what I'm getting" :sick:
:mad: :explode: 0 -
I just joined up with Oasis (it's an Aussie website that's free) and after reading here joined POF. There are SOOO many creeps. So many. It's quite disturbing.
I hate the ones who don't post photos. I'm not willing to give phone number or meet someone if I don't know what they look lIke. There's one guy I'm chatting with who 'can't get his pic to upload' and won't email because 'he doesn't need new skills' (WTF?) but will only text it. This is a guy I'm open to meeting but if he keeps hedging I'm going to remove.0 -
I just joined up with Oasis (it's an Aussie website that's free) and after reading here joined POF. There are SOOO many creeps. So many. It's quite disturbing.
I hate the ones who don't post photos. I'm not willing to give phone number or meet someone if I don't know what they look lIke. There's one guy I'm chatting with who 'can't get his pic to upload' and won't email because 'he doesn't need new skills' (WTF?) but will only text it. This is a guy I'm open to meeting but if he keeps hedging I'm going to remove.
Sounds...strange.0 -
Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't say, "I'm sick of the drama, let's negotiate payment instead" anywhere on the net, but luckily, I'm not on a dating site, so I can get away with it! :laugh:0
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His answer was "because I think you're hot and I want to see what I'm getting" :sick: :mad: :explode:
Smart man!!!
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Well I got my first ask out from POF, to a baseball game next friday.0
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Well I got my first ask out from POF, to a baseball game next friday.
woohoooo!!0
